Solid Snake was taking a snooze cruise inside his lovely home. And by lovely home, I really meant a cardboard box. Because Snake was a hobo.
His slumbered was disturbed when the CODEC beeped. Groaning in discomfort, he answered the CODEC.
"Snake!" said the voice of Colonel Campbell, "we got some trouble!"
"Let me guess, another Metal Gear?" asked Snake.
"Not just one, but millions!"
"Millions? Who could make millions of Metal Gears?"
"Apparently this terrorist group called QUACK."
"What does QUACK stand for?"
"Nothing, it's just plain old QUACK."
"Okaaay…. Where is the location of QUACK and their Metal Gear manufacturing plant?"
"It's right outside."
Confused, Solid Snake got out of his cardboard box home. And right there, he was staring at a building with a giant neon sign saying 'QUACK'S Metal Gear Factory.'
"How convenient" muttered Solid Snake. He loaded his gun and was ready to roll.
And thus his next adventure began! But it wasn't just disabling cameras and snapping guards' necks, there were also awesome battles with the commanders of QUACK. Battles so awesome, I'm not going to bother typing what the battles were like! HA HA! But I'll tell you the commanders' names. They were Poopy Pants, Internet Noob, Mama Luigi, Pizza Face, Stupid Ass, and Johnny Sasaki.
With all the commanders dead, Snake was able to enter the area that contained all the Metal Gears. Unfortunately, somebody was blocking the entrance.
The person shouted "not so fast! I cannot allow you to do any further!"
"Who are you?" pondered Snake.
"I am the head of QUACK! I am Evil Bad Guy!!!"
"Evil Bad Guy? Wow. Why is it all the bad guys have stupid names?"
"Shut up! At least my name isn't as ridiculous as Solid Snake!"
"What's so wrong about Solid Snake?"
"Are you serious? Solid Snake? Doesn't that sound like another word for saying you-know-what?"
"You-know-what?… EW! You are so immature!"
"Hey, it's your fault for not noticing it's perverseness in the first place!"
Solid Snake had enough of this guy, so he tranquilized the leader and continued forward. He gasped at what he saw.
Activating his CODEC, Snake spoke "Colonel, we have a problem here."
"What?!" said Campbell through the CODEC "are the Metal Gears gone?"
"Uh… they're still here. I believe you misunderstood what kind of Metal Gears QUACK has."
"What do you mean?"
"They're gears, Colonel! They're fricking regular gears made out of metal!"
"Really? Whoops. My bad."
"Jesus Christ, Campbell, this the ninth time this month you sent on a Metal Gear mission when there weren't any Metal Gears to go after in the first place? How do you get this information on Metal Gear locations anyhow?"
"I dunno, I usually make it up most of the time."
"Great. That is just great. I'm going to a hotel to get some sleep. Goodnight."
Shutting off his CODEC, Solid Snake went into the closet cardboard box he saw and tranquilized himself.
THE END