A/N: Cannot stop writing for these two. Love them!
Mindy Lahiri Does Online Dating
Mindy Lahiri is online dating. And she's not embarrassed. Nope. Not even a little. Online dating is totally cool and normal, and the only real reason she hasn't told anyone is because she doesn't want to make everything about her at the office. They'll start asking about how the dates are going and then she'll have to make them all jealous of her busy social life. Really, it's for their own good that she's keeping it from them. She's doing them a favor.
Everything is fine and in order until her personal email inadvertently gets sent to her work and the entire office ends up with a message with that week's worth of matches.
"Not again," Mindy says unhappily when Danny relays the news to her. "How the hell do I keep doing this?"
"Are you playing around with the settings on your computer again?"
"I don't even know how to play around with my settings," Mindy says.
"Just bring your laptop in tomorrow," he tells her. " I'll fix it."
"Thank you, Danny. You're a lifesaver." She sits down at her desk and says, "Just tell me, were there any embarrassing emails? Because sometimes I get those spam Viagra ones."
"No, nothing too exciting in there," Danny says succinctly.
"Hold on, there is a huge difference between embarrassing and exciting, Danny. And for the record, my inbox is very exciting."
Danny smirks a bit and says, "I have to agree with you there."
"Huh?"
"Bring your laptop tomorrow," he says, hitting the frame of the door with his hand. "I have patients to see."
Later that afternoon Jeremy walks into her office and says, "Mindy, we have to talk."
"Okay, shoot."
"What are you doing?"
She looks at him strangely and asks, "Do you mean right now? Because the answer would be thinking of donuts. Are there any in the lounge?"
"No, I'm talking about you online dating!"
She gasps and demands, "How do you know that?"
"You crossed your personal email with the work one again, Mindy. The entire office saw it!"
"Saw what?" Mindy asks, eyes widening as she realizes what he meant. "Oh no. No…no…"
"Honestly Mindy, if I knew you were that desperate-"
"Online dating does not make someone desperate," Mindy answers defiantly. "A lot of people do it."
"Yes, ugly weird people who can't find mates any other way."
"Hey now, that's a little harsh."
"You are above online dating, Mindy! As someone who has slept with you on several occasions-"
"Of course you would bring that up now."
"You don't need to resort to this sort of low dealing. You are an exceptional woman, Mindy."
Behind Jeremy, Danny knocks on the door and asks, "Am I interrupting something?"
"Danny, please tell Mindy that she is an exceptional woman."
"Sure," Danny says dismissively. "Mindy, you're not half bad. Jeremy, there's someone for you on the phone."
"It's not my mother, is it?" Jeremy asks warily.
"I don't know. They just said they wanted you. Why I'm even relaying this message is still a mystery to me. Last time I checked we had someone named Shauna to do this."
"It's my mother," Jeremy says. "Alright, remember what I told you, Mindy. You are exceptional."
"Yeah yeah," Mindy says, waving him off out of her office. Danny steps in and asks, "What was that about?"
Mindy tilts her head to the side and asks, "I don't know, Danny. What do you think it was about?"
"Okay, how are you mad at me?"
"Remember when I asked if any embarrassing emails got out?"
Danny shrugs. "Yeah."
"Online dating matches. How is that not embarrassing?"
"It's not," he says. "There's nothing wrong with online dating. A lot of people do it."
"Exactly!" Mindy says. "That's what I was trying to tell Jeremy."
"A buddy of mine actually met his wife on or one of those."
Mindy snorts. "Your buddy?" He gives her a look and she says, "Sorry, I'm very happy for your buddy."
"So, are any of them takers?" Danny asks.
"I don't know," Mindy says. "I haven't looked through it yet."
"You should give Ryan from Hindsdale a try," Danny tells her. "He has a good job and an affinity for cheese."
Mindy grins wide. "I do love cheese. I can't believe you read through my matches."
"It was a slow morning."
Mindy braces her arms on her desk and leans forward. "Face it, Danny, you're just a little interested in my love life."
"I'm not interested in your love life," he returns drily.
"Come on, it's nothing to be embarrassed of. I'm totally into your love life."
"Yes, but you are you," Danny says slowly. "You care about our FedEx guy's love life."
"I think Katie could really be the one for him," Mindy answers sensibly.
Danny shakes his head. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. I have some paperwork to do."
"Hold on," Mindy says. "Tell me about the others."
"Why don't you just read the email?"
"It's not the same," she insists. "You're, like, this outside and super harsh opinion. Come on, I want to hear your thoughts!"
Danny hesitates but then takes the seat across from her desk, muttering, "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Come, Danny Castellano, share your wisdom."
"Alright, not doing this," he says, pressing his palms on the top of the desk. "Thought I could do it but…nope."
"Danny!"
"I'll see you later, Mindy."
She listens to Danny and reaches out to Ryan from Hindsdale. They arrange to meet at a bar in the city, and Mindy spends too much time on her hair and make-up and assuring Gwen over the phone that she isn't meeting with a closeted serial killer who will turn her dead body into chili and serve it to homeless people. She gets there a little early and sits at an open spot at the bear near the entrance. She orders a vodka tonic to quell her nerves, and as she waits one turns into two. Two turns into three. When she calls Danny her words are slurred.
"Well, good job with the matchmaking Danny," she says.
"Mindy?"
"Don't act like you don't know who this is," she says petulantly. "I know I'm in your phone. Put myself in there, even when you deleted me that one time because I kept texting you about The Bachelor."
"Why is it so loud on your end?"
"I am sitting at a bar. By myself. Ryan from Hindsdale turned out to not be such a great catch, after all."
"Where are you?"
"You know, I found him on Facebook," she slurs. "He had really nice cheekbones. I bet you could cut glass with them."
"Mindy, where are you?"
"A bar."
"Yeah, you mentioned that," he returns. "Which one?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because you're obviously drunk and the way you sound right now I wouldn't put it past you to proposition your taxi driver."
"I wouldn't…" she trails off. "It depends on how clean his cab is."
"Look, just tell me what bar you're at."
"Lotus."
"You're in Old Town?"
She hears the tone of his voice and sharply retorts, "Listen Danny, I never asked you to pick me up. I don't even really know why you're picking me up and-"
"Okay, okay" he interrupts. "Just, don't leave the bar."
"I won't," she says stoutly. "This bar stool is my home."
"That's great," he says off-handedly. "I'll be there in fifteen."
"I just don't understand," Mindy says morosely to the older man next to her. He's about eight drinks ahead of her and has been keeping a steady rhythm of bar-nut-eating as she talked. "I'm a nice person. I'm a good person. I mean, sure, I have my flaws. I could probably floss more. I eat too much sugar. I always tell people about runs I don't go on."
"Can I touch your hair?" he croaks.
She blinks rapidly and says, "Uh, I don't know. That's a little…you know what…screw it. Go to town."
She leans her head forward and takes a lock of hair in his hand. It is at this point that Danny walks up, looking warily between Mindy and the man now stroking a lock of her hair.
"Hey Mindy, what…uh…what's happening here?"
Mindy jerks her head back and the guy makes a gurgled sound of disappointment.
"Danny, I would like to introduce you to my new friend Harold."
"Yeah, he seems really nice. I think it's time for you to go."
"Danny, don't be rude to Harold." She glances over to her new friend and frowns when she sees his attention already taken by the nut bowl. She glances back at Danny and says, "Yeah, we can go."
She doesn't talk for the first part of the cab ride, which Danny finds worse than her incessant chatter. Mindy silent was like a stalled car. There was something inherently wrong with it.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah," she says in a monotone voice. "Just, you know, thinking about the utter failure that is my love life."
"Mindy-"
"I don't get it. I'm put together in every other part of my life. I have a set career. I dress myself fairly well. Make my bills. Go to the dentist every six months. Why can't I get this part of my life down?"
Danny considers this for a moment.
"It's difficult," he says. "It's not easy."
"Being a doctor isn't easy. Putting together good outfits every day is not easy."
"Yeah, but you teach yourself how to do those things. You go to med school. You do your internship and residency. You do, well, whatever you do for the outfits. Relationships aren't like that."
"It's not fair."
"No, it's not," he agrees. "But that's life. So, you pick yourself up and you move on."
She laughs a little, wiping her nose, and says, "Danny, you're not half bad at giving advice."
"I have my moments."
"Wait, so he came all the way to Old Town to pick you up?" Gwen asks after Mindy relayed the story of her eventful night.
"Yeah, but that's not really the point of the story. The point-"
"What about that Danny guy?" Gwen interrupts, the tone of her voice conjuring images of a shark when it senses blood in the water.
"What about him?"
"What do you think of him?"
"Uh, he's my coworker," Mindy says. "He's generally in need of an attitude adjustment."
"So, you never…"
"Never what?" Mindy asks.
"You never think about, I don't know, starting something?" Mindy bursts into laughter and Gwen says, "It's not a ridiculous idea."
"Uh, yeah it is. In fact, it's so ridiculous it might even rival that one time last year I thought it would be a good idea to crimp my hair."
"He went out of his way to pick you up."
"Yeah, because I called him-"
"And you called him! Out of all the people you could have called-"
"Okay okay, first of all, I called him to yell at him," Mindy clarifies. "Because he was the one that told me to go for this guy in the first place. And why are you drawing a bunch of conclusion where there aren't any?"
"You honestly have no feelings for him?"
"Nope. Not in a million years."
Gwen studies her best friend's face for a moment and then shakes her head. "Then you're both idiots."
A/N: I'd love your feedback!