Death is a part of life; I've known this for a long, long time.

I always knew my life would be a short one. I could never explain why but I just… knew.

I always did seem the type.

I didn't know how it would happen but sometimes I would imagine it like a cold clinical bystander, separate from all of it.

It could be as simple as being hit by a muggle bus or it could be as brutal as being murdered slowly by a faceless assailant.

Either way I knew I was going to die.

As the years went on I could feel my time running out so I tried to make it easier on my family and friends and estranged myself from them.

I knew mother and father didn't have much time left either so I did what pleased them, effectively alienating myself from all others who mattered to me.

My brother was a long time coming, he always knew I would disappoint him but I could tell he was hurt that he could no longer speak to me. It would be much easier for him when I was dead.

My cousin, also, who loved me, knew she couldn't have her baby or her husband around someone like me, so that was easy too.

My best friend was harder. He begged me not to do it; he spent sleepless nights trying to convince me not to go through with it. Though I loved him, and it hurt, I did it anyway. He would be far less heartbroken than if I stayed and died like I knew I would soon. If I hurt him then died, it would be easier for him.

I became a Death Eater.

My fate was already sealed no matter what I did so I pleased my parents… I became a Death Eater.

I became braver and more reckless while I was with them, I disobeyed orders, I blatantly showed mercy and I refused to perform Unforgivable Curses. I was honestly surprised I didn't die sooner.

But I knew the day would come, soon.

The second I opened my eyes I knew I was going to die that day.

I'd never been more certain of a fact in my life.

I didn't expect it to happen the way it did though, not even in my most gruesome imaginings could I have pictured this.

I was helpless to stop it and, honestly, I didn't try that hard.

All I could do was think about all the people I had loved and betrayed in my short meaningless existence. I pulled their faces to the forefront of my mind one by one and let them go as I was dragged beneath the surface.

It was only then that I allowed myself to think of what I had just done; maybe my life hadn't been so meaningless after all. Maybe all the people I had just thought of would have been proud of what I had done. Maybe my entire life had been leading up to this.

A meaningful death.

I stopped struggling after that and let death take me.

I always knew my life would be a short one.

I knew I would die young.

But I never expected my brother to be one of those people too.

Then again I guess I should have suspected that Sirius would die young too.

We always did seem the type.