Describing a Monster
Strange yet Beautiful
Deadly Calm.
Heartless.
Cold Blooded Killer.
Malicious.
Cruel.
Sadistic.
Arrogant.
Courageous
Cautious and Fearless.
Daring.
Judged.
Misunderstood.
Lonely.
Oh ever so lonely.
All I want is be whole again.
Get rid of this sickening feeling inside me.
This thing that controls me.
Leading me on by jealousy.
I don't like it.
It hurts.
I want to be some one again.
To live.
On my own terms.
And to forget why.
Why I was created.
The reason why I was born.
A failure.
I'm sorry.
I am Envy.
Not William Elric.
I'm a monster.
But it of course is my fault.
I'm use to punishment.
In ways you humans couldn't imagine.
Though the truth hurts worse then being ripped apart.
It hurts worse then having your insides torn out.
It even hurts worse then being reduced to ash.
I am Envy.
Definition.
A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone's possessions, qualities, or luck
A person or thing that inspires such a feeling
Noun.
Desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else)
Desire for oneself (something possessed or enjoyed by another)
Verb.
Either way it doesn't make a difference.
I'm a waste of space.
Unoriginal.
Easily replaced.
Take me.
Take me away.
Take away this monster inside me.
Then I will be again.
I will live again.
It lives inside me.
Makes my choices.
Tells me how to kill.
Teaches me the most painful ways.
Don't hold back it says.
Make them suffer.
For even thinking they had a chance.
Break every bone in their frail bodies.
Then when they beg for you to kill them.
You walk away.
Laughing.
While the sane part in me screams.
This is wrong.
I don't like hurting people.
To see them in such pain.
I don't like fighting.
I don't like killing.
Homunculus Or Human.
Each life is special.
I've taken away more lives then I can count.
I'm sorry to.
Maes Hughes.
Edward Elric.
The little girl I shot.
Wrath.
If any one should die it's me.
Get me back were I belong.
To the gates of hell.
I am past the point of no return.
I'm going to die no matter what.
By my hands.
Or fathers.
Or a human.
But if I could change.
One last chance.
A glimmer of Hope.
Some pity.
A human.
That out shines the others.
Or homunculus.
That has a heart.
That sees me.
Only me.
For who I am.
She who sees past the monster inside of me.
She who sees me.
For who I am.
To be loved.
Would be great.
I know.
I know I'm being greedy.
If there was a person that could love a monster like me.
It would be a long shot.
Any thing is possible.
So maybe I'll wake.
With new intentions.
A new life.
I'll break out of it's hold.
Put the monster to sleep.
And I'll wake.
As me.
Envy.
What makes me who I am.
Describing me.
Not a monster.
Pacifist.
Brave.
Fierce.
Gentle.
Cocky.
Loyal.
Mature.
Keen.
Charismatic.
Cautious.
Eager.
Mysterious.
Exacting.
Crafty.
I am.
This feeling inside.
This feeling of hope.
Makes me feel.
Makes me feel whole again.
Like I matter.
Like I deserve it.
If this is real.
This second chance.