Hello. My name is Daniel. Just Daniel. And I'm an alien. It's a long story, really. I wouldn't want to bore you too much. I have a fairly typical life, for a being from Alpar Nok. I simply wander around Earth, hunting down bad aliens. But its not all just fighting, I have some amazing adventures with my friends. But this one time, even I don't know why I did what I did.
It all started one night when we were on the hunt for number 57 on the List. We had just taken out another baddie, number 35, and were kind of taking it easy, no real leads yet. JoeJoe and I were sitting in the back of a van, eating our way through a mountain of cheeseburgers, and talking about where Superman was on the list if he were real and evil. You probably know about that part, though. We were able to agree easily about where Clark Kent belonged, and decided to go on to our other heroes, real and fictional. After several of the usuals, like Spiderman(number 16), and the slightly unexpected, like Abraham Lincoln (totally made the top 20), Joe mentioned someone I had never even heard of.
I gave JoeJoe a sideways glance. "No way. You are making that up."
"No really, it really exists!"
I scoffed. "It does not. How can you know about something that I don't know about, you are a part of my imagination?" Did I forget to mention that? I sort of imagine my friends into being. Along with my family. And this van. Heck, I even imagined these hamburgers, to be honest. But don't tell JoeJoe, he thought I went through the drivethru before I conjured him into being.
JoeJoe threw a wrapper at my face. "I'm telling you, it's true! Remember when you pass out from exhaustion and have us keep watch? You think we just sit around and do nothing?"
I gave him a hurt look. "You guys watch television without me?"
He launched into his fifth burger. He likes burgers. "Well, duh," he mumbled around a mouthful of food.
I sucked on a near empty cup of pop, then refilled the cup when it was empty. With my mind, of course. "So, what is so special about this guy that he would be number 1?" I couldn't imagine anyone being higher than the Prayer, personally, but I was open to JoeJoe's ideas.
Excitement filled his face, and he nearly choked on the last bite of his sandwich. "Okay, here's the deal." He held up a greasy index finger. "One, he is immortal. Sorta. I mean, he is really old and could live forever, barring accidents."
I shrugged. "A lot of people could live a long time barring accidents."
He wrinkled his nose at me and continued ticking off his points. "Two, he is from the oldest race in the universe."
"So?"
"So? So, he has millions of years of experience on everybody!"
"Okay, okay. But so far he doesn't seem all that exciting. I mean, Number 7 can breathe fire."
"THREE," he said loudly, speaking over me. "He can travel through Space-"
"So what, anybody can do that-"
"AND TIME." He said triumphantly and leaned back, gloating.
I yawned, unimpressed. "He has time travel? But that's impossible. Besides, every science fiction story has time travel."
He continued on, getting slightly annoyed at my disinterest. "He has telepathy."
"I have telepathy."
"And he travels in a phone booth that is bigger on the inside, he is the master of millions of languages, his pockets can hold anything, he has a respiratory bypass system, and," he raised a hand into the air for emphasis, "he has two hearts."
I blinked. "Really? Two hearts?" I thought for a moment. Sensing my moment of weakness, he moved in for the kill.
"And he has been put on trial on his home planet several times, once even for killing the president. Even though he was innocent."
"That's pretty impressive, I have to admit."
"He also was the only survivor of a massive Time war."
I threw my hands up in despair. "Okay, okay, you win. What is his name?"
He looked at him, eyes squinting evilly. "Nobody knows."
I blinked at him, and slowly nodded my head in agreement. He slapped the table between us with the flat of his hand, and unwrapped a sixth burger, remembering his hunger suddenly. I sat back and swiveled my chair back and forth in thought.
"So wait, nobody knows what to call him?"
"Well," he swallowed loudly and drank down half of his pop. "So, he has a pseudonym that everyone uses, but nobody knows his real name. He doesn't tell anyone." He shook his cup, indicating he wanted a refill. "But everyone calls him the Doctor."
I looked at him skeptically. " 'The Doctor'. Not especially original, is it?"
He threw me a dirty look over a bun. "Two hearts!" he yelled suddenly.
"I get it, I get it!" I started to eat a second burger, but stopped suddenly. "Wait, so, did you say he traveled in a phone booth?"
He made a loud annoyed sound in the back of his throat. "Get me a notebook!" an expensive laptop appeared on the table. "A bigger screen." A noticeably bigger one appeared in its place. "And we need a fast connection."
"Sure, no problem, but why?" I asked as I logged onto the internet.
He took it from me and started to type something in Google. "I know a website. We are going to watch this entire show wither you like it or not." He beckoned for me to sit beside him, and hit the play button. The strangest music began to play, and after creating an amazing state-of-the-art sound system and improved the video quality, "An Unearthly Child" flashed across the screen. I considered briefly making it into color, but JoeJoe vetoed, saying it was best in the original form.
And thus, I was introduced to the magic of Doctor Who.
