Hey, y'all. I've seen two DN/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossovers. Only one had Mello in it, and it wasn't even focused on him. Don't get me wrong, they were both great, but really...Chocolate Factory...Mello... It's just too amazing of a possibility to pass up. Anyway, this is going to be a multi-chaptered fic featuring MattxMello, possibly the most cannon pairing without actually being cannon. The rating may go up eventually for this, depending on what my darling readers desire. If you want it, I'll do it. I am here to please you :)

Disclaimer: I own neither Death Note nor Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I also do not own any of the video games I may mention in here or the chocolate brands. I don't own Megatron either.

Chapter One: Blackmail

Soft, sack padded footsteps shuffled down the hallway, stopping every so often, each pause marked by a quiet creak.

Matt sighed, closing what felt like the thousandth dorm room door, and moved farther down the hall. Where the hell could it be? He had been through six fucking floors already and he still couldn't find it. It was starting to get on his nerves, actually. It's just a game he told himself, A level I have to beat.

And it was one of those fucking annoying levels. The ones that took forever and were most likely to be accidentally deleted upon completion.

And it was late...or rather early morning, and Matt wanted nothing more than to lounge around his room playing Mario Kart and drinking Redbull. But no, he couldn't go back without it; not unless he wanted his ass kicked.

He stopped before the last door on that floor, looking warily at the knob before silently extending a hand, twisting it open and pushing into the room in one fluid motion.

Score! HP points for Matt!

Grinning to himself, Matt crept forward, eyes locked onto the tuft of white hair that was visible beneath a pile of blankets heaped onto the bed in the center of the room. He'd better be asleep...if he had gone through all that work just to find that the little bastard was awake...He shuddered. His anger would be matched only by Mello's.

He raked through the mess with his eyes, searching for his target. Yes...there he was; and asleep, thank God.

Now attempting to hold back the yell of triumph building inside of his throat, Matt snatched up his prize and backed away from the bed, holding it tightly in his arms.

He let out a quiet hiss of both relief and excitement, eying the figure happily. He had his hostage, now to collect the bounty...

"Near." He whispered, poking the boy on the shoulder.

No movement...damn...He'd thought Near would be a light sleeper...guess not...

"Near." He tried again, voice escalating to a loud whisper. Matt grit his teeth in frustration, hands clamped tightly around Megatron. He couldn't talk much louder or he would wake Roger.

"Near!"

The younger boy rolled over onto his back, blinking into the darkness as he tried to discern the intruder.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." Matt greeted, grinning widely as the boy genius got a grip on the situation. A small sigh of annoyance could be heard as Near recognized the intruder.

"Matthew, I do not wish to play games with you this...morning." He stated in his usual monotonous tone, glancing at the small digital clock that rested on his bedside table. "What is it that you want?"

Matt, grinning like a jack-o-lantern, held up his hostage for Near to see. A Megatron doll, at least three feet tall and made entirely of plastic. Matt had no idea how Near could sleep with the thing without rolling over it and either breaking it or acquiring a nice set of bruises from the hard plastic.

"A trade, actually." He said casually, being sure to stay at least an arms length away from the other boy, in case he tried to snatch back his toy. There was no way he was going to let anything go wrong with his plan. He had actually put effort into it.

Near's eyes narrowed as he recognized Matt's captive. "Matthew," He said, managing to make his voice threatening, yet still sound calm and deathly boring, "Give him back."

The gamer snorted amusedly. Him? "I wasn't aware hunks of plastic had sexes, Near."

Now he was just toying with him. It felt great; being able to be superior to Near in something was immensely satisfying. Perhaps he should have taken Mello with him; it might have been a bit of a self-esteem raiser for his blonde friend.

"I fully intend to inform Roger of this if you do not return him immediately." Near pressed, ignoring Matt's snide comment. "And I will absolutely not even consider making any kind of deal with you, Matthew. You are one of the least trustworthy people I have ever met, and I highly doubt that you would hold up your end of the bargain. Not that I would agree to anything in the first place."

Matt's grin grew wider, and a bit of moonlight reflected off of his orange-tinted goggles, further impressing his jack-o-lantern-like appearance. "Really? Because I was under the impression you would want him back."

Near smiled coldly, "You are supposed to be the third smartest child here, Matthew. Possibly the third smartest child in the entire world, yet you say these idiotic things that clearly make no sense. I could simply inform Roger that you have unlawfully taken one of my possessions and he will make you return him with no ridiculous bargains or deals."

Shit...Matt had been so sure this was going to work out without any problems. He really didn't want to have to use his backup plan. Though it looked like he had no choice.

With a rather over-exaggerated movement, Matt pulled a tiny, red object from his pocket, sitting down besides Near and holding it up, being sure to keep Megatron out of his reach.

Near observed the proffered object carefully, raising a slightly disapproving eyebrow, "A video camera, Matthew? Do you honestly think you can blackmail me? I know for a fact that you have no recordings of me at all."

The gamer did not respond. Instead, he flipped open the view-screen of the camera, holding it up so Near could see.

"Matthe-" Near was cut off by the sound of his own voice clearly emanating from the camera.

"Megatron..." Came the voice, breathy and slightly strained. Near leaned over almost fearfully, peering at the screen. It was...himself. He was tossing about his bed, panting slightly and plainly calling for "Megatron". Embarrassment flooded through him, and he looked fearfully up at the redhead above him. Blackmail? That was so...low...so Matt-like.

Matt closed the view screen with a satisfied, yet slightly disgusted snap. "I have no footage of you that you are aware of, Near. A true genius should think of the unexpected when making a claim."

Ha! Take that you albino freak! I said something purposefully intelligent!

Near opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then finally climbed out of bed, glaring pointedly at Matt. "Fine, Matthew. How much do you want?"

Matt thought about it for a moment. "About a box should do it." He answered cheerfully. Mello did go through a lot, though he had no admit, it was nice to order Near around like that. Sometimes he created a Near!Sim just to torture it, but real life was much better.

Said boy protested in vain for a moment before giving a resigned sigh and rummaging around in in his bedside table drawer. After a moment, he pulled out a small card key; the only way to access the food pantry.

Upon seeing the card, Matt felt a twinge of jealousy. His had been confiscated from him, by Roger when the old man found out that he was nicking chocolate for Mello. That meant that not only was he unable to get chocolate for his blonde, but he was unable to get snacks for himself without Roger's permission, supervision and snack-choice approval. Which meant he was on a diet. Just thinking about the word made him feel sick... How did Roger expect him to function properly without sugar? It wasn't like he ever got a suitable night's sleep.

Matt watched as Near slipped out of the room and into the hallway. He sure hoped he wouldn't get caught. Not that he would get in trouble for it; Near would never tell Roger the truth in fear of the Megatron video being broadcast to the entire orphanage. However, that chocolate was very important to Matt; his Mello needed it. If Mello wasn't happy, then Matt wasn't happy (unless of course Mello was simply bitchy, which was often the case. If Matt was unhappy whenever Mello was bitchy, it would just be...bad)

He sighed, then leaned against the headboard of the bed to wait for Near to return. Everything had gone smoothly, but there was something that was bothering him.

That footage of Near wasn't actually real; Matt had ghosted him onto that screen. He had expected to simply tell Near that if he didn't get the chocolate he would show his created video...but the way that Near had acted...he acted like he had actually thought it was real...meaning...

Matt felt his stomach turn and he dashed into Near's bathroom, face turning green.

Disgusting, simply disgusting.

A/N That didn't really turn out as well as I had hoped, unfortunately. But I promise the next chapter will be better. Comments or suggestions make me happy. Review?