OH shit. ANOTHER fan fiction. When is my mind gonna stop?

Leon: Oh hell. That's easy.

I think I have UFMS…

Leon: Huh?

Uncontrollable Fanfiction Manufacturing Syndrome.

Leon: Oh. :3

Enjoy!

Leon: She owns nothing. Just the OC characters.

OMG! I love you New Dante!

New Dante: Oh yeah! Make it public! D:

;A;

New Dante: Hell…?

GET TO THE FUCKING FANFICTION ALREADY!

Everyone: 0_0

?….?

When Yaoi Girls Go Rabid

-LOTS AND LOTS OF YAOI BASHING 8D! Starts next chapter though-

The day was frigid, for it was the day after Thanksgiving. It was raining, and Noah the Authoress was watching Criminal Minds on TV. The teen was bored out of her mind. There was nothing to do but eat left over dirty rice and drink Fuze drinks. She sighed, sat back in the recliner she sat in and closed her eyes. For a moment, she thought she drifted off to sleep, but a 'thud' woke her up. She looked over to the door next to her to see a young girl kneeling on her door step. She got up and opened the door to investigate. "Excuse me, but-"

"YAAAAAOOOOOOOIIIIIII!" screamed the strange girl, who lunged for Noah's neck. Noah squeaked and slammed the door in the girl's face…literally. The girl backed away, holding her nose. "Yaoi…" she whimpered, with tears in her eyes.

Noah closed the blinds on her glass door and snuck to the back door. "What the hell…?" she said, looking down at her feet. There was a huge board lodged under the back door.

"Yaoi…" moaned a stranger behind her. She spun around and pressed against the door in fear, but she arched an eye brow. "Did you just fucking say, 'yaoi'?" the potty mouthed teen asked.

"Yaoi!" the girl yelled in response.

Noah's face fell. "Oh Bob Saget!"

The yaoi fangirl lunged at her, but Noah quickly grabbed the heavy washing liquid and chucked it at her. It hit the fangirl in the face, enabling Noah to run passed her. Noah squeaked again and darted out the front door.

But she stopped dead in her tracks. Just passed the front exit of the gate was an army of yaoi fangirls. They had wild looking eyes with drool dripping down their faces, and disturbing pictures of random guys kissing on their shirts. Hell, some of them were even foaming at the mouth! "Oh holy monkey…" she squeaked. She darted toward the back exit of the gate, knowing that there was a chance of escaping by heading through the thick wooded area around her house. Chances are, she'd be able to loose them in there then she would by just going down the road.

She realized she was barefoot, which really meant nothing. She was always barefoot. She was faster barefoot.

Yaoi fangirls weren't far behind. They were running normally, which meant some of them were faster than Noah. But they wore shoes. You can't beat a country girl in a foot race with shoes on. Especially if they were heels.

Noah jumped over a ditch and entered the woods. The girls followed, hissing and growling. Black and dew berry vines scratched and scraped Noah's legs, but Noah still pushed on. Even when her sides hurt and her throat burned, the girl fought to keep her legs moving.

Then, she bumped into a large figure, who grabbed her. "Wha! No! I don't wanna be a yaoi fangirl!" she panted.

"What? No. I'm not a girl. Calm down before you strain yourself." the figure said. Noah looked up to see familiar silver hair, grey-blue eyes, and blood red coat. "Holy hell…You're fucking Dante, aren't you…?" she panted. Dante nodded. "Yeah, that's me. Glad to see a young mind who hasn't been tainte-"

Noah suddenly fainted in his arms. He supported her up, but realized she was weezing bad. "Great, she's having a fucking asthma attack…"

He growled and Devil Triggered. He supported the weezing girl in his arms and dashed; leaving the yaoi fangirls who were surrounding the area in the dust…er…mud.

Dante knew only one thing that moment. Get this girl some help before she dies.

?…?

Whoa. Weirdness much?

Oh I so love Dante. Btw…its DMC4 Dante who Noah bumps into. Hope you enjoyed! ^_^