In This Moment

by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky

Though rarely ever discussed, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman have a lot in common. Let's see what a karaoke night, and a couple drinks do.

Author's Note:

Okay. So, this is my second Kenric. I want input.

There are some movies that the boys go see, and I want you to be warned. I went to see Limitless, this weekend, and it rocked hard. You guys should really go see it. There will be a little bit of detail, but nothing too bad. I won't spoil it for you.

I'm really perfect when it comes to spelling. Or at least, I try to be. So, if I spelled the names of any wine wrong, please let me know so I can fix it.

DISCLAIMER:

The characters used in the story provided below, are owned exclusively by Trey Parker, and Matt Stone. The website and Author are not responsible for the character content. The lyrics used in this text are solely the property of the artist in question.

In This Moment

Kenny

"You're a fag." I muttered as I lay under the table, looking for the gum that had flown out of my mouth.

"Puts a smile on your face, you poor bastard." Cartman said as he swung out and tried to kick me.

I caught his foot in my hands, and pulled out his laces.

"Kinny, you fuckin' fag face!" he moaned. "That's a real fag, right there."

"You know, fuck your napkins, and fuck my stupid gum." I said getting up and ducking out from underneath. I threw the napkin that was to be used for my reclaimed gum at his face. "I'll just get another one. My gum will stick to your shoe anyway. You've got plenty."

"Poor people are so fuckin' ridiculous." Eric said yawning.

"Fatasses are so fuckin' retarded." I said imitating his yawn.

"Ay! I am not fat, you bastard! At least I don't whore myself." he muttered under his breath.

"I whore myself, fat boy, but I whore myself to my town's people. Your mother whores herself to anyone, including the surrounding Colorado areas." I said as his face went white.

"Dude! Not cool!" he said standing up. "Dude, leave my-." he stopped.

"Sorry, but you deliver low blows, and I have to hit back." I said truthfully. "I don't know why I still hang out with you."

"Because you have no friends, poor shit." he spat as I sat back down on the chair. "Wanna go see another movie?" he asked.

"Sure." I said slowly. "Drive-in in Denver?" I asked.

"Why the fuck not." he said sighing. "Wanna just-?"

The door opened, and there was a loud commotion in the living room. Cartman and I both got up and I walked in behind him. Leanne was being pushed in by Jimbo, and Ned. She was struggling and fighting to get out, but they were pushing her forward.

"Does this belong to you?" Jimbo asked, looking at Cartman.

"Yeah. Right." Cartman replied softly.

"Nnnnnn. Here's her cash!" Ned said in his robo voice. He gave Cartman a wad of hundreds.

Cartman had a look of utter rage and humiliation on his face. He looked over at me as if daring me to laugh, or comment at all.

"Where did you guys find her?"

"She was wandering around town. Barbrady almost caught her. And you know, he wouldn't have arrested her, either."

"Get the hell out of here!" Cartman grumbled at their joke.

"Sorry, kid. I'd be mad if my mom was a whore. You know, my sister was a whore, though." Jimbo said sighing.

"Nnnnnn. Really?" Ned asked grinning at his buddy. "I didn't know. Nnnnnn."

"Well, no. Actually, my sister was a four point grade student, and is now the owner of a bank. We had good times, and I just fucked up, didn't I?" he asked.

"Yeah." I said as I spotted Eric's angry glare. "Bye, you two." I added pointedly.

"Bye."

Leanne had passed out in Cartman's arms as they both stood there. I caught my friend's gaze. He looked unable to move for a bit.

"Need help?" I asked timidly.

"No, Ken. I'll take her upstairs."

This had been going on pretty much since he was born. We lived in one of the smallest, trashiest towns ever. And something was wrong with it, too. All the kids said that. Everyone looked at me, Cartman, Kyle, and Stan with wariness. Somehow, if you hung around us long enough, some weird adventure was bound to happen, and you'd remember it. Here's a brief timeline for those of you who may, or may not be familiar with this concept.

Preschool. The town is so fucking small, that we'd also met before then. Our parents often migrating to each other's houses for the game, or the fight, or anything pay-per-view related. Or sometimes the meteor showers, or crap like that. The point is, we all ended up staying with either one baby sitter, or at a certain person's place. So, by preschool we already all knew each other. It's just, preschool seemed to be the time when it became set in stone that Stan, Kyle, Cartman and I were best friends. Fucking… super… best friends.

Kindergarten. We all get nearly thrown in jail for setting a teacher on fire. We all found out that Kyle was a Jew, and went to our first Briss. Somehow he blocked it out of his memory, though, because when Ike was gonna have one, he freaked out and tried to send him to Alaska.

First Grade. Stan gets his first crush, and starts a barfing phase— every time he's near her. Kyle becomes the smartest kid in class, and Cartman starts to realize that his life is a fucking piss pile. I start to realize that I may end up just like every other grown up in south Park. Either gay, or stupid as hell.

Second Grade. Ike arrives, and becomes Kyle's little brother. I don't know what part of adopted, Sheila and her husband didn't quite explain to him, because Kyle played along for a while. Until Ike had his Briss. Then he made a sceen because Ike was, "Not my real brother.".

Third Grade. We got visited by… well, Visitors. I got killed. A volcano exploded, I got killed. The events that occurred to all four of us got stranger, and stranger. And I kept getting killed. And no one realized… I got killed. I thought I'd stay dead, but no. I came back, bright and strong, later.

Fourth grade. We start out by being convinced by Cartman that fourth grade sucked balls. So, we stupidly tried to make a time machine. It didn't work. Cartman finds out why his mom is the way she is, and who his real dad is. Turns out Leanne is not a she-male. I get a girlfriend, and die of syphilis. Again, no one cares, or remembers. The biggest thing that happened to affect all of us, was that Cartman mellowed out. The biggest thing that happened to me…? I became Mysterion. But that doesn't really matter right now.

Fifth grade. Stan and Wendy broke up … again, and I think Stan was on his way to discovering he was gay. Kyle was still the smart one, and so was his brother. Both of them being as sheltered as they were. The incident with the spleen I ate still haunted me, and I realized, why not whore myself to get cash? I wasn't going to go on TV for it. I just wanted to help pay the bills. I think about it.

Sixth grade. Nothing too bad strange or drastic happens. We stage another intervention for Towelie, and this time, it kind of worked. I wish we could stage an intervention for my mom and dad. And Leanne, for that matter.

Seventh grade. Cartman mellows out some more, and it looks strange. Butters got a second girlfriend. It was not like he hung out with us, it's just, it was the highlight of everyone's life. I tried my first joint.

Eighth. Kyle came to me, because someone— he didn't say who, but I'm sure it was Cartman— had pointedly harassed him about his sexuality. So, I showed him some porn, and he found out he was gay. Kind of another highlight of everyone's lives. Well, for the four of us, anyway. Cartman didn't make fun, which was a real surprise. I think he harassed him at first, because he wanted to get Kyle to discover what was so obviously there. Stan seemed to be okay with it, and so was Kyle.

Ninth grade. Everyone rebels, because somehow, not only is this the second time Mackey follows us, it's the second time Garrison does too. Somehow, they both came to teach at the high school that we all went to. Middle Park, South Park, North Park, and Lynn Park were all combined into one Park High. Middle Park combined all the counties too. The only school that was only South Park, all the time, was South Park elementary. My sister would be going into sixth grade at this point.

Tenth grade… is where we all were now. Stan and Kyle have declared loyalty to each other, and were now a couple. I was sort of getting a strange vibe from Cartman. Almost as if he wanted us to be the same way they were. We still hung out, the four of us. It was still comfortable. His mom had gotten into several accidents, and with each one, Cartman gets more and more isolated from anyone, and becomes more and more withdrawn. I get less and less sure about where I wanna go.

"Kinny, you're not gonna let what just happened fuck our night up, are you?" Cartman asked coming down the stairs with tears in his eyes. "It's not like she isn't gonna be out for a couple days." he said wiping a stray tear out of his way.

"Have you called Stan and Kyle?" I asked.

He got a killer glare on his face. "I'll go call them." he said sounding annoyed.

/\/\/\/\/\

Twenty minutes later, we were all piled into his car. I had called shotgun, and was riding beside him. We made it to the drive-in fifteen minutes later. Kyle had pulled out the stops and brought a bunch of food, which we all thanked him for. Stan gave me one of those looks.

"You think they'll kick us out if we're caught?" I asked smiling.

"You better not, Kinny." Cartman said in his drawl. "I'll kill you!"

"Come on, fat fuck." Stan said yawning. "It'll work. You and Kyle can try it with us."

"Ugh. Naw, Stan. Thanks. I'll pass." Kyle said as he handed Cartman a bag of trail mix. "Hope you like it, I tried to avoid over doing it." he said sweetly.

"Thanks, Jew." Cartman said smiling. "Kosher?" he asked.

"Kosher." Kyle replied simply.

"That's cool. That's cool. What the hell are we watching, anyway?" he asked.

"We're watching, Battle La."

We shouldn't have even came. Kyle and Stan were obviously so not into the movie, Cartman was fuming— about his mom, I'm assuming— and I was elsewhere as well. But we still had fun making jokes, and Stan and I kept passing the one-hitter between us. Finally, I took a glass pipe out of my jacket pocket, and packed it with bud. I lit it, and handed it to Stan.

"Aw! Kemmawn, yuh fags!" Cartman moaned. "Gaw!"

"You know you like it, fat ass." Stan said as he took a drag.

"Yeah. Your ass'll be high soon enough." I said as I reached back and Stan handed it back to me.

"You know that kills you." Kyle said softly to no one in particular.

"Yeah. But only gradually. Oh, and I don't care." I added hastily. "I'll die any day."

"Oh brother." Stan sighed. "Not this again. Kenny, you need to get counselling." he said seriously.

"Speaking of counselling." Kyle added with his own sigh. "Are you okay, Cartman? You're so not yourself."

"He hasn't been himself for the past seven years." Stan observed. "It's getting worse."

"Fuck you guys. Let me enjoy this in peace, will you?" Cartman asked kindly. "I kinda paid for it."

The weed really didn't make things better. It was hilarious to see the stoned grin that Kyle was sporting by the time the movie was over. Somehow, he, Stan and Cartman were the ones who acted most insane when they got stoned. And this is with Kyle and Cartman getting it second hand. I was the sane one, and I was the sensible one.

"Okay." Cartman said flipping the engine on. "It's time for us to… git out!" he said doing a good imitation of the man who always kicked us out of the local bar.

"Why have you boys been smokin' Mary-Juana?" Stan asked convincingly. "It's bad, mmmkay? So is sex! Sex is just bad! Mmmkay? And Kenny, you need to learn to take your hood off in the classroom, mmmkay?" he asked.

Kyle was pounding the back of Cartman's seat, and Cartman was pounding on the dashboard as they howled with laughter. I sighed.

"Okay, girls." I said in a stereotypical gay tone. "Let's geeo home, now. We totally have to go eat, I'm so starving!" I said loudly. "Like, total food is needed, gals."

That only set all of them up to another spell of laughter. And yet, I felt like total hell.

/\/\/\/\/\

Forty minutes later, Cartman and I were alone in the car once again. Things seemed to have calmed down a little bit.

"So, Ken?" he asked sighing. "Whatcha doin' tomorrow?"

"Nothing. And I'd like to keep it that way." I added, knowing that he was probably going to do something for me.

"Too late. You and I are goin' to the arcade." he said bossily. "Okay?"

"Why?" I moaned. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Because I know…" He was having so much trouble talking. I don't think he was ready to say, I love you, just yet. "Because… I said… I mean, you don't want a party. So, I'm going against your wishes." he said simply.

"I hate you." I said bitterly.

"Just pretend you care." he said. "We're going to the arcade with fifty of your closest friends, and pizza will be provided."

"I'm going home tonight, okay?" I asked. "I gotta make sure Karen and mom aren't dead yet."

I swore I saw a disappointed look on his face. But then, he looked a little happier at a thought. "Um, well, sure. Can… I… stay with you this time?" he asked. "Maybe?"

"I'm poor." I said simply. "You wouldn't mind sleeping in a little twin bed with me? Knowing that rats could piss and shit in your shoes?" I asked. "And you'd have to do without proper television." I added smiling.

"Yeah, huh? You're right. I don't know. Maybe it's the weed talking." he said smiling. "I'll drop you off."

I felt so disappointed that he was still a little shallow. I thought for sure he'd say, no, Kenny! It's fine. I'd rather be with you, then with my stupid ass mom, who's probably still out cold. I'm scared for her to wake up.

Cartman

I felt a hollow feeling as Kenny got out of the car. I watched him go into his house, and I drove away. A shower of glass fell from one of the windows, and I moaned as I wondered what had happened. Last week, we were in Denver, doing the same old thing we always do. Smoking. Well, Kenny hot boxed my car. So, I got high, without really wanting to. And somehow, his clothing caught fire. He died. This had been happening for as long as I can remember. Kenny always dies. And either because I feel like I'm insane, or I'm afraid no one will believe me, I never say anything to anyone. I remember every death, and he always comes back. Even if he dies, and I know he's coming back, it's always like a blow to the chest. Always.

"Fuck you, Kinny! Can't you take a fuckin' hint?" I said out loud as my eyes filled with tears. I can't believe I was just not past that shallow stage of my life.

After I finally found out who my dad was, and I realized how messed up I'd been, and how messed up mom was, I kind of calmed down. Yet, it was still hard to stop calling Kyle a Jew, and Stan a pussy, and Kenny a poor piece of crap. It was still hard to say to those guys that I loved them. Because I really did. And I didn't care that Stan and Kyle were a couple. In fact, I saw it coming. Who didn't, you guys? Come on.

I walked into my door with tears still streaming down my face, and I closed it. I walked up stairs, and peaked into my mom's room. My mom was lying under the blankets like I'd left her. She still hadn't woken up. I heaved a big sigh, and walked into the bathroom. Fuck it. I back-tracked, and went down stairs and to the kitchen. Did Kenny get enough to eat? Damn….

Kenny

"You're a worthless fuck, you son of a bitch!" my mom yelled as she tossed a beer bottle at the living room window. The glass showered in all directions. Damnit, mom. Now I had to find a way to replace that.

"Calm down, mom." I said putting a hand on her shaking shoulder. "Just go back to whatever you'd been doing before." I said sighing.

"Kenny!" said a whisper as Karen came walking over to me. "I'd leave. Dad's really pissed off. I mean, past the test."

"Oh well." I said softly. "I've learned to deal with the beatings." I murmured to her as my dad and mom yelled at each other from the other side of the room. Hadn't mom just been right beside me? Whoa.

"Kenny!" dad yelled. "I'm fuckin' talkin' tuh yuh, yuh faggot!"

"What?" I asked as I pushed Karen aside, and walked over to him. "Karen, go to my room." I said loudly.

"I'm sending you to the J Mart to go get me a bottle of vodka!" he yelled.

"I'm not going. I just got back, and it's really dark." I said slowly. "You can go if you'd like, man. But I'm not going."

That earned me a punch in the face, and then a belt buckle to the ass. Oh well, what were you gonna do? We spent a long time arguing, and punching at each other, and I was the one who got the blunt of my dad's shit. Douche bag.

The night was cold, and bitter. What else was new? Karen was snuggled up against me trying to either be safe, or keep warm. Or both. I finally drifted off to sleep after pulling her into my arms, and wrapping the blankets a little tighter around us.

/\/\/\/\/\

The next day, she was off to one of her friend's houses, and I was off to…? Where the hell would I go? My phone rang. It was Cartman.

"Hey, fat ass." I said into the phone as I clicked answer.

"H-hey, you poor shit." he said lowly. "You awake?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, you said you'd go with me to the arcade."

"I said I would. But I think I might just stay home. I have a killer head ache." I lied.

"Kinny, don't ruin this for me!" Cartman shouted loudly. "Get your poor ass over here. You can't say no, everyone's waiting for us. We're the only two who haven't showed up. I'll come get you." he said hanging up.

Oh, damnit. "I hate you, Cartman." I moaned. Fuck you.

Soon, we were both riding off towards the arcade. I looked over at him.

"There's no food over there." I said simply. "Breakfast wise. I really don't want pizza for breakfast."

"Okay." he said swerving and heading a different direction. "Let's go to Tweek's. They got breakfast crap."

We ended up getting to the coffee house about fifteen minutes later. Cartman ordered for me, and we ate quickly. Well, I took his food, and ate that too. The teen had lost all his fat from elementary and middle school. He actually looked good. For once.

After we finished, we left in the car and headed off to the arcade. We stayed there for about five hours. I kept asking him where the everyone that he was so excited about was, but he would always dodge my question. I had a good time playing with him, really. It was nice, and I really felt like he was finally getting the hint.

"WT in position." Cartman was saying as I hung back. He was on his phone. "Yes! Yes, he is! Coon over!" he said hanging up. He looked over at me, and gasped. "Oh… hey, Kinny! Uh… we're out of here!" he said a little too loudly. "Let's roll, fag!" he said grabbing my arm and dragging me off.

"What the hell is WT? Where the hell are we going?" I asked.

"White Trash, and off to the woods to kill you, you poor shit." he said as he pushed me into his passenger seat.

We made it to his house within fifteen minutes, and the whole world was there. Oh, fuck. Dude! Cartman, you Coon!

"Happy birthday, Kinny!" he said as he turned off his engine. "You can thank me later."

I got out of the car, and walked up the drive. Kyle came running out to greet us, and hugged me really tightly.

"Happy birthday, Kenny!" he said as I leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I got you a little gift, and you can't say no." he added smiling as my mouth opened. "Glad you finally made it."

Stan came walking over to us. He too gave me a hug, and kissed me gently. "Happy birthday, Ken." he said softly. "I'm really, really, glad you're my best friend. Oh, and everyone's waiting for you, so hurry up." he said smiling.

Cartman's house was crowded with familiar faces. I even spotted the two last people I thought I'd ever spot here. My mom and dad! Karen was huddled in a corner, talking with two younger teens. Ike Broflovski and his best friend, Philmore. All three of them were laughing as they talked. I said hello to my mom and dad, and Karen and Ike. They all greeted me warmly enough. Well, Ike and Karen did.

"I'm thinking of jacking J Mart." I said to a group of people as we all hung out in the kitchen. It was Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Butters with me right now.

"Wh-why, Kenny? We got a keg." Butters piped. "Do-do we really need more?"

"Not this shit, butter cup." I said simply. "I mean, Dom Perignon, Alozay." I said smiling. "We don't even have any Jack Daniels."

"W-well, I got you a little something." Butters said stumbling forward and pulling something out of the depths of his jacket. "Kenny?" he asked steadily. "I know we're not tight like you and Eric, or Stan, or Kyle, but I do appreciate you always standing up for me. Um, here you go." he said hastily as he handed me the bottle.

"Oh, Butters!" I gasped as my stomach soared. "Wow! You?" I asked confused. "You brought Dom?"

"Naw." he said, smiling cheekily. "I-I kind of… well, st-stole it." he said smiling a little wider. "I'm gonna get grounded, but it was for a good cause." he said grinning. "I, uh, kinda wanted it to be just for us. You know?" he asked.

Cartman beat me to it. He brought out a pack of red plastic cups, and handed them to Butters. I smiled, handing him back the bottle.

"Pour us a glass, Butter Cup." I said smiling.

Soon, all five of us were standing around the counter with a red cup of Dom in our hands. Butters looked surprised. He corked the bottle again, and put it aside.

"L-let's have a t-toast?" he suggested stuttering a little. "To Kenny! One heck of a friend!" he shouted.

"To Kenny!" they all yelled lifting their glasses and clunking them with mine. We all down our drinks in one gulp, and toss our cups into the air. Soon, it was a shower of liquid droplets, and cups. And soon, I was being showered with hugs, and wishes from my friends. I had no idea that I was crying silently as I held Butters in my arms.

"Gee, Kenny." he said as tears soaked his own eyes. "Don't, don't cry, pal." he said softly as he held on to me. "I just want you to know, Kenny?" he asked without a single stutter. "I love you."

"Me too, Butter Cup." I said through a soft sob as I held him. "Always. You're so sweet."

And he was. And so were all the others around me. The only one who hadn't moved from his spot on the counter was Cartman. He stared evilly at me, and I smirked back.

"Aren't you gonna hug him?" Stan asked grimly to the boy.

"I don't need to! He knows I sort of care." Cartman said grinning.

/\/\/\/\/\

The party had been fun. It went on well into the night. At around three in the morning, Kyle came to me and said he had to go. Stan had begun to throw up into the bushes. So, they both took off. The guests all ended up leaving around five thirty or so in the morning. I could tell Cartman was really tired.

"Move along now!" Butters was saying as he ushered the last of the stragglers out of the house. "Nuthin' tuh see here, fellas!" he yelled. "Move it!"

Soon, it was just Butters, Cartman and I. Until the back door opened, and a very drunk, very ruffled Leanne came walking in.

"Poopsykinz!" she slurred. "Mommy's home!"

She walked over to Butters, and wrapped an arm around him. I saw the awkwardness in his face, and the anger in Cartman's.

"Hey!" I said walking over to her. "Let's go see if there's some food in the food place." I said stupidly.

I offered her my arm, and she clung childishly on to me. She fell apart when we got up stairs. She was laughing loudly, and stumbling as I dragged her into her room. Soon, Cartman joined me, and we managed to get her to go to sleep. I could tell he was angry when we both walked across the hall to his room.

"Fuckin' bitch!" he said punching the wall. "Ruining my party!"

"It was already over, Coon." I said sighing. "It wasn't like it was in full swing, like last time."

"Fuck you, Kinny!" he said bitterly. "Wanna stay?" he asked sighing.

"You just want help cleaning up." I said laughing.

"No! No, I don't!" he said trying to defend himself. "Fuckin' fag!"

"I'll stay, if you feed me." I said bargaining.

"Fine." he agreed as we both walked down stairs.

We ended up cleaning the mess right then. It was easier. Then, we didn't have to look forward to it. I wondered who actually went to their homes, and got grounded. I hoped Butters wouldn't. He wasn't that drunk, but you could smell the wine on all our breaths.

"Let's sleep!" Cartman said victoriously as we threw the last garbage bag into the dumpster.

"Hell yeah." I agreed, smiling. "I've got a fuckin' headache. Bad."

We both walked back into his house, and up to his room. Both of us got undressed, and into speedos. I'd left a pair of mine here in case I ever stayed with him. I did that with all my friends. And soon, Cartman and I both lay under the blankets, ready to sleep.

As we lay there, I thought about the fact that we were wearing swimming clothes to bed. This was South Park, though. Try getting anything that made sense out of South Park, and see where that takes you.

"Thank you, Cartman." I said yawning. "For everything. It really meant a lot."

"For the record." he said ruining the moment. "I did it because I wanted to prove I can throw better parties than the bitch Millie." he said bitterly. "And Bebe."

"Sure, fatass." I said bitterly turning away. "You just had to go fuck this up."

"What?" he asked kneeing me in the back. "What?"

"Go to bed, fag." I said angrily.

The curtains were drawn tight, and the few rays of sun that were actually out couldn't be let in. So we managed to sleep until at least six in the afternoon. When I woke up next, I was facing Cartman. His face was covered in tear tracks, and his arms were tightly wrapped around my waist. My arms instinctively had closed around his shoulders, and he was lying with his head on my pillow, still sleeping. Tears? What? He'd been crying? Huh? Did I want to let him go, or should I still lay here with him? I lay there with him for about another fifteen minutes, before I finally, gently extracted myself from him. Rather than risking him ruining another moment. When I came back from the bathroom, and peaking to see how his mother was doing, he was already getting dressed.

"You look like hell." he said looking at me.

I looked at him, and smiled. His eyes were puffy red, and had shadows under them. His cheeks looked really pale.

"You look like hell, too." I said smiling.

"Whoa! We both look like hell." he said laughing stupidly.

"No shit! Let's go celebrate." I said laughing.

After getting dressed, we went down stairs, and ate some more food. Hopefully, Leanne wouldn't wake up. It was already seven forty in the evening when we got done with food. Dinner, or whatever it was.

"Wanna go see a movie?" he asked.

"Sure. I'll go call Kyle, and Stan." I said getting up.

"Naw. They're probably still out." he said laying a hand on my arm. "Besides, I'm paying, and I don't have enough for them."

I caught the pleading look in his eye, and he smiled. You can run, Eric, but you can't hide.

"What do you wanna go see?" I asked simply as we both grabbed our coats and left.

"Let's go see what's playing." he said as we got into the car.

We ended up arriving just in time to get tickets to Limitless. The movie had been released just yesterday, and there seemed to be a good crowd. So, we got the tickets, and walked in. We sat down, and watched previews.

"We should go see that." Cartman said pointing to the preview for Insidious.

We said that about practically all the movies. We should go see that. And pledged to each other that we were being absolutely serious. Soon, the movie started.

It wasn't like the drive-in because I actually paid attention to the movie. Eric did too, it looked like. Because we both gasped and groaned at the right parts.

"If this shit gets X-rated," Cartman whispered beside me. "I'm out."

Soon, Eddie Mora was having sex with his girlfriend. Cartman was blushing furiously, and got up.

"I'm leaving." he mouthed.

I pulled on his jacket and sat him back down. He gave me a killer look and we both went back to watching the movie. I was actually wishing this could go on for the rest of my cursed worthless life.

"I don't get it." Cartman whispered as the man on the screen went from place to place. "What the hell's going on?"

"He's blacking out." I explained quietly. "It's the medicine."

"Holy shit, dude!" Cartman whispered as the scene changed.

During the rest of the movie, we watched in complete fascination. Eric looking terrified at some parts.

"I still think weed is better." he whispered.

"No, way!" I retorted. "This is so much better. Think about how much smarter you could be, fat boy." I whispered laughing.

"Fuck you, you poor bum."

Soon, the Russian guy caught up with Eddie, and we watched as he became trapped. We both waited out the rest of the movie, and Cartman let out a big boo when it was over.

"The ending sucked donkey balls." he said as he grabbed my arm and we both walked out.

"Only makes you come back for part two." I said as I led him up a couple steps and out into the theatre's halls. "Wanna double dip?"

"Let's see what's playing." he said letting go of me.

In the end, we decided to hit the road and leave. It was strange, but I felt a little disappointed. Damn. I kind of wished it could've gone on longer. We both headed to the car.

"If that existed, I'd totally get it." he said as he and I climbed in. "And I'd do a damn better job of hiding the damn pills, too."

"People would know." I said as I slid my seat belt on. "I mean, it's not really a secret."

I grabbed his IPod, and started shuffling around until I found something I approved of. It was an Eminem song featuring Nate Dogg, Snoop Dogg, Dre, and Xibit. Cartman kept on tapping out the beat on the brake pedal, so the car would stop and go with each thump of the bass.

"You're gonna make a car pile-up." I said shifting a little.

"Fuck you! Don't ruin this moment for me." he said punching my arm.

"Hey!" I said jokingly. "Keep your hands, off my person."

"Shush, Kinny!" he whispered. "Wait for it!"

"…'Til the next episode.

Hey, hey!"

"Smoke weed every day!" Cartman and I sang with the ending.

"Nice old school shit." I said flipping on the radio.

"…Speculating that he has passed away at the age of forty-one. He had currently been suffering from heart related health issues, and is now going to be buried in…"

"Who?" Cartman asked turning it up a little.

"We surely have lost one of the biggest legends in hip hop. Rest in peace to Nate Dogg." the man said sadly. "It seems we lose one every fucking year, Freeze."

I turned the radio off not really wanting to hear more. What? Dead? He was younger than Barbradey! What? Cartman looked stunned.

"Dude." he muttered. "Dude."

"My fucking head started up again." I said truthfully this time. "Fuck."

We both pulled up to my house, and he parked the car. He turned off the engine, and the ticking sound was left as it cooled. We both got up and climbed out.

"Thanks, Porker." I said smiling at him.

"You know, I'm not fat anymore." he said softly. "I grew out of it."

"You mean, into it." I corrected. "Sorry, tubby. Some nicknames never die. And others? They suit people just as well even if they lose their appearance." I said smiling. "Thank you." I tried again.

"It's fine, Ken." he said smiling. "I was only too glad. If it keeps me out of my place, and you out of yours."

"You know, Cartman?" I asked feeling a little brave. "I've always really liked you. It's always been you, and I, and Stan and Kyle." I said simply. "I mean, I love-"

I felt a pain in the side of my head as it collided with the pavement. Suddenly, I blacked out. God dammit, who did it this time?

Cartman

Kenny and I were standing idiotically in the street, so I guess we should've seen it coming. But we didn't. He was too busy about to tell me something I've been wanting to hear for a long while.

"It's always been you, and I, and Stan and Kyle." he said going the direction I wanted him to. "I mean, I love-"

The truck swerved without warning, and my best friend was lying under the wheels. There was a horrible crunching sound, and I screamed. My eyes filled with tears of anger as I spotted the driver. It was Clyde, who was in a lip lock with Bebe.

"Way to go, Clyde, you dick face!" I shouted angrily. "You just killed Kinny! You fucking bastard! Try to keep those legs closed, Bebe!" I yelled as they stopped.

"You don't need to be so fucking rude, Cartman." she yelled trying to spit at me.

"Oh, go get a room you filthy pieces of worthless shit!" I shouted without really knowing why.

They drove away yelling back their own insults, which I paid no mind to. It was always like a stab in the gut every time Kenny was killed. And no one else seemed to remember but me. No one else seemed to ever notice how many times Kenny's died over the course of our friendship. I can't bear to bring it up with him, because I'm afraid I may possibly be going insane. Kenny's body lay on the pavement, and I started crying shamelessly as I leaned down to touch his hooded face. Kenny! My god… Kenny! I needed you!

/\/\/\/\/\

I left, and went back to my place, not knowing where else to go, or what else to do. Soon, I was back, and in the empty quiet house. My mom was still out, it looked like. My cell vibrated.

"Hey, lard." It was Stan.

"Hey, pussy." I said without really meaning it. "Are you with the day walker?" I asked.

"Yeah. Is Kenny over there?"

The image of a dead Kenny flashed into my mind, and I nearly threw up. "No." I said simply. "I have no clue where he is."

"Oh. Did he ever open his presents?"

"No." I said glancing at the pyramid on the coffee table. "Why? Did you give him the Karma Sutra you were supposed to give Cal?" I asked grinning.

"No, you gross fag. I just wondered if he got what we gave him."

"What are you up to?" I heard Kyle in the background.

"Nothing." I said hollowly.

"Get your fat ass over here, and let's play some rock band." Stan said smiling. "We're at my place."

It's not like I cared, really. I just felt something strange inside. Okay, maybe I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't care. Maybe I did… love… Kenny. A little bit. Just don't tell. Maybe I did wish our moments together would never end. Maybe I started to depend on him for security. For comfort. For advice. Because for the same, yet completely different reasons, we both needed each other. We both had something in common. We had unstable environments for homes. The fact that he'd just been ran over in front of me made me feel sick. I couldn't even play right, and the guys had every right to pick on me.

"Are you okay, Eric?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah." I said sadly. "Maybe I just drank too much."

"You only drank the drink Butters gave you. You didn't even touch anything." Kyle said laughing.

"I've gotta go." I said putting down the mic. "I just remembered, I need to get my mom's shopping list."

"Bye." they both said as I got up. "Call if you need anything."

The bell rang in my head as I ran out the door. Butters! He had been practically wailing at Kenny's birthday party. I ran as fast as I could leaving my car parked in Stan's drive way. I didn't want to waste time turning on the engine, and driving. I just ran. Soon, I was at the boy's door step. I pounded on his door.

"Hello, Eric." said his mom smiling at me. "How are you today?" she asked.

"Fine, Mrs. Stotch. May I please talk with Butters?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sure he'd love to see you. Come on in. Go straight on up to his room." she said smiling. "Chris, honey?" she said as she retreated into the kitchen after closing the door.

I heard them talking as I ran up and into his room. He was lying on the bed with his phone to his ear.

"See yuh soon, Kelly." he said smiling. "Love you too, babe." he said hanging up. "Oh, hey, Eric!" he said cheerfully. "How's it g-goin'?" he asked.

"Fine." I muttered. "Can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Why, sure!" he said enthusiastically. "Come on, pal! Sit d-down." he said patting a spot on his bed beside him.

Soon, I told him all I had seen. He listened, and teared up with me, but didn't interrupt, and didn't say anything at all like I thought he would. He just let me talk myself into silence.

"…Because I may be crazy, Butters. I may be going insane."

"Mmmbut you're not." he said reassuringly. "I'm s-sure it was just a nightmare, Eric." he said smartly. "I mean, sometimes we think we're not dreaming, because that's how real it is, but it's just that. A nightmare." he said simply. "I try not to let them get to me. My parents would ground me if they knew I was scared."

"Jesus Christ, Butters!" I shouted standing up. "You have fucking tough parents."

"Well, no." he said smiling brightly at me. "I deserve it good and proper. I n-need to be a m-man now, Eric!" he added sternly. "And if I can't even look at my own shadow without yelling and crying like a little p-pussy?" he stammered. "Then, I'm a no good poopy pants mother fudger." he spat.

I could see why Kenny really liked Butters. He was innocent, and pure still. With Butters, everything was different. Fuck became fudge, damn became darn, and so on. He had many substitutes for curse words he couldn't and wouldn't use. On account of the fact that he'd get grounded.

"Thanks, Butters." I said sighing. "I've gotta go. I need to be getting home."

"Eric?" he asked before I got up. "You need to tell him." he said softly. "You're sweet, I'm sure he'd really like to hear you say that."

"Butters, I fucked up way too many times, too much for him to ever say that about me. Or in fact, for anyone to ever say that about me." I said as tears filled my eyes. "I've been a douche to everyone around me most of my life. And some of that still hasn't gone away."

"That's just you, Eric. I'm sure you and Kenny would make a great couple." he said simply. "I think, if I were you, I'd tell him. You never know, Eric. Big things come in small packages." he said standing up with me. "Think about it, pal."

"I will. Thanks." I said as I left the room.

I made it to his house around one in the morning, and climbed in through his window. It was easy to pry it open with the crow bar he had propped up against the side of the house. No one, was in here, thankfully. I knew his sister had a habit of sneaking over here when she got too scared and climbing in with him. But today, no one was here. So, I made myself at home, and got under the clean sheets of his low twin bed. It seemed maybe this was the only little piece of neatness that Kenny McCormick held. His tidy bed, with its clean, laundry detergent-scented sheets.

"Kinny, I'm sorry." I whispered. "I know it wasn't a night mare. I know I saw you die."

/\/\/\/\/\

When I woke up the next day, it was to a sleeping Kenny lying beside me in his bed. He was sleeping with a peaceful expression on his face. I looked around at him, and touched his warm back. I could feel it going up and down as he took in each breath.

"Ken?" I asked in a whisper. "Kinny?"

"Go away." he muttered sleepily. "I'm not goin' to school, ma."

Satisfied, I laid back down and went to sleep again. It was eight in the morning, and it was Sunday. I was gonna get more sleep, damnit.

Kenny

When I woke up next, Cartman was lying beside me. I stared at him. He once again had tear tracks on his face, but he was sleeping soundly. His arms were wound around my shoulders this time, and he was snuggling oddly close to me. I didn't move, not wanting to ruin this moment. I could feel his pulse, and hear him breathing slowly in my ear…. Whoa.

We both ended up waking up at about noon-ish. Neither of us spoke, not wanting to ruin the silence as we both got up and dressed. We snuck out my window quietly, and walked to his house. His car was gone from the drive, and I wondered where he had left it. He seemed to be reading my mind.

"Stan's place." he said sighing. "I felt weighed down by the thing."

"It's not like you're not weighed down by that massive ass of yours." I said simply.

"Ay! I grew into it, Kinny, you poor fuck! Unlike… you… you still can't even eat a decent meal on your own!" he yelled.

"So, where now?" I asked.

"Go to my house, and assess the situation." he said as the mood lightened up considerably.

We both walked into the house. I heard noises in the kitchen, and we both walked in. Leanne was getting ready to cook a meal, it looked like.

"Hello, poopsykins." she cooed. "Hey, Kenny." she said giving me the biggest wink ever. Dude, you just gave yourself away.

"Mom!" Cartman yelled going green. "Are you hitting on Kinny?"

"Why," she said looking surprised. "No!" she smiled at me. "You know I'm not doing that, Ken." she said smiling. "Would you both like breakfast?"

"Hell yeah." he said speaking for both of us. "Whatcha makin' anyway?"

"Eggs and sausage!" she said smiling. "Bacon's in the pan over on the table."

We didn't do much that day. For once, we actually did our homework. Leanne managed to stay in the whole time, and actually went to bed early. There was a first for everything, I guess.

"I'm out." I said simply. "I've gotta go get ready for tomorrow."

"Really?" Was that disappointment in his eyes? Were those tears?

"Yeah. Something tells me tomorrow it's gonna be hell."

"When is it not hell?" he said sighing. "It's snowing six months out of the year in this town, most of the grownups are idiots, and who knows what the hell else is going on." he said yawning.

"Yeah. Anyway, I'll see yuh later."

The next day was okay. I felt a little bit better than the day before. Hopefully, I wouldn't die today. Suddenly, the fifth member of our little clique came walking into my first period. I had Butters in every class on A days.

"Hey, Kenny." he said sitting down beside me at the very back of the room. "H-how's it goin'?" he stammered.

"Hey, Butter Ball." I said through my hood. "It's good."

"Gee, Ken. It's still hard to understand you. Even after all these years." he muttered as he put his bag under his chair. "Anyway, here comes the teacher."

"Bitch." I said, grimacing a little.

"Y-yeah." Butters said guessing. "I think she could use with a little improvement in her mood. But you shouldn't call people bitches, Ken." he said whispering. "I mean, it's probably not like that all day. She can probably be nice if she tries."

"Butters, shut up, you're annoying!" she yelled as she came walking in. "Kenny, take your hood off for real today, or I'll send you to Mackey!" she yelled.

"It's against his religion to take his hood off." Annie said from the front of the class. "You people don't know anything."

"Is it, Kenny?" the lady asked.

I nodded as I sat passively in my seat.

"He still does his work. I know! I seen it." Butters said defensively.

"Butters, no one cares what you think!" she yelled.

"Fuck you!" I yelled through my hood. "Quit fucking with him!"

"Thank you, Kenny, dear. Sit down, and let's begin the class. Annie, you will not speak out of term again." she added as she turned to her board.

I pulled my hood back a little so my lips would show, and I leaned into Butters. I pressed my lips against a lock of his hair, and whispered.

"Butters, I'm sorry she's so rude to you. She needs to go kill herself." I muttered.

"Oh, now, K-Kenny." he said softly. "That's not n-nice."

"She just insulted you!" I hissed. "That's not nice."

"Oh, don't worry. I can deal with it." he said smiling. "It's okay."

I wrapped an arm around him and hugged him tightly. "You're not annoying, Butter cup, and I do give a damn about what you think." I spoke up swiftly.

"Oh, Kenny." he said laughing a little. "I know you do. She's just a little bitter."

I ended up falling asleep on my stool. I could still kind of hear her droning in the background, and I felt Butters draw an arm around me at one point to keep me from falling off.

"Uh, Kenny?" he whispered shaking me. "It's, it's time to go, man." he muttered.

We made it through the day. Butters and I walked to his locker, where we were greeted by Cartman, Kyle, and Stan. All three of them looked like they'd just gotten out of hell.

"What happened, fellas?" Butters asked.

"Garrison… wants… to kill… us!" Cartman said with a pale tinge to his color. "Now!"

"Even I had a little trouble with the test." Kyle said sighing. "Kenny, you have him tomorrow. You better hope to hell he gives you guys a different version." Kyle said sighing.

"Well, I'm out." Butters said smiling. "I see my girlfriend. See you four fellas later." he said smiling. "Bye, Eric. Remember the plan." he said as he hugged Cartman.

"Right." said Cartman hugging back. "We'll meet at six in the evening."

"Okay, so it's settled." Kyle said as all of us hugged butters in turn.

"What?" I asked after he left. "Who's what now? What's settled?"

"We're headed to Cartman's place at five thirty. You never opened your gifts, Kenny."

"Ugh." I moaned. Gifts? My life is cursed, damned, and I may never find the one person who I love, even though they're right in front of me, and they're fucking with me about gifts? Damn!

"Now, don't be rude, man." Stan said as we all headed out. "We all set aside a whole night for you."

"You guys, this is traditionally the night we all hang out anyway! You didn't set aside a whole night for me. And you God damn know it."

I ditched their sorry asses, and left for my place. Mom was in the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I'd recently stocked up the fridge with all the money I made… well, whoring myself. Fuck my life.

"Kenny?" she asked. "How's things, Kenny?"

"There." I said smiling. "What's going on? Where's Karen?"

"She's getting ready for dinner. I'm gonna make something for your father, and Karen and I are going over to Sharon's place. You know?" she said smiling.

"Oh, no way?" I gasped. "Stan's mom? Why?" I asked.

"Oh, she bumped into me on the road on my way back from Tweek's." my mom said smiling. "Invited us both. So, I said yes."

My dad remained a lazy, inconsiderate bum, who was worth nothing. Kevin had moved out to college, and mom had gotten a job at Tweek's coffee house. My mom was trying to get herself together. Depression hits every time you get bored for a woman like her. I don't know what's holding those two together.

"You want me to make you something, too?" she asked.

"No, mom." I said smiling. "I'm supposed to be forcefully dragged over to my friend Eric's place. Something about unfinished business."

"That's nice, Kenny." she said smiling at me with tears in her eyes.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm just thinkin' 'bout the one time, when yuh got really sick." she said sighing. "Yuh nearly died, Kenny." I did die. "Just glad you're still in one piece." I've been killed over a thousand times. "Cuz, I love yuh, son." she said smiling. "I don't know if I could stand it if anything ever happened to you." It has happened to me. She just can't remember.

"Thanks, mom." I said softly. "Love you, too." I added briskly as I patted her arm.

"Hey, share some of that love." Karen said hugging me tightly. "Where you been, Kennifer?" she asked.

"School, fool." I said slapping her across her butt. "That's for the nickname earlier." I said smiling.

I left my place after making sure everything was okay. Then, I headed off to Cartman's. His car was back in place, and his mother's car was right beside it. Parked straight, this time. I wondered if she was sober. I knocked on the door, and headed in. I let out a sigh as I closed it.

"Living room." Cartman shouted through his drawl.

I found Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Butters sitting on the floor around the coffee table. A pyramid of presents was still stacked high. Butters seemed to be in the middle of a conversation.

"…Like hell! And I said, no! I was not gonna let that go!"

"Well, good for you." Stan said patting the boy's thin back. "Glad you stood up for yourself, Butters." he said smiling.

"Hey, Kenny!" they all said in a chorus.

"Hope you brought plenty of spirit, cuz, mom wants us to eat the cake, before she throws it out." Eric said laughing.

"Ugh. Count me out." Kyle said softly. "That cake nearly killed me, and I only had a forkful from Stan's plate."

"Dude, that is hella chocolatey." Stan said smiling.

"Where is Ms. Cartman?" I asked confused.

"She's watering the plants outside." Cartman said sighing. "Really, she is. I went to check."

The first present was from Craig. I made a face. Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token were so unpredictable. I unwrapped it, and gasped. Holy crap.

"He gave you weed?" Kyle asked looking strangely at his hands. "Weed? Like, good to smoke weed? Not laced with extra crap?"

"There's a note." I said softly. "'Saw you in Cartman's car the other day, thought you might like this. This is the best jumaykan grass you will ever smok.' Dude needs to learn to spell." I said smiling. "'Happy B day, Kenny, see yuh.'"

The next present was from Token. I picked up the box, and opened it carefully. I gasped at what I found inside. It was a very nice suit. I stared at the guys.

"Dude, is he getting married, and trying to ask you to be his best man, or what?" Cartman asked confused.

"Dunno." I said simply. "Here's a note. 'Kenny, you are the coolest kid I ever did see. Even now. I forgave you for trying to manage my career, and landing me in a faraway place, trying to bus my ass back to South Park. Anyway, here's something I thought you might enjoy, since you probably can't ever be bothered to go to Denver for clothing. No offense, bro. Use it well, I think you'll never outgrow it.'" He meant good intentions.

I grabbed Tweek's gift, and as soon as I opened it, began to howl with laughter. I held the draw string bag up to the boys, and we all laughed as they saw what it was.

"Who gives out coffee?" Kyle asked looking stunned. "Coffee?"

"Dude." I said looking straight ahead. "I… don't… drink… this crap!" I said looking strangely at them. "My mom probably does, though."

"I bet he had a meltdown trying to decide." Stan said laughing slightly. "Poor guy."

I grabbed the next gift, without really thinking. I ripped the paper off, and took the box out. Inside was a pack of condoms. I stared at all of them, as they stared at me. There was a note, and I read it to myself.

'Kenny,

By the time you open this, I hope I'm long gone. I hate you, I'll always hate you, you suck hard, Kenny. You poor piece of shit. You can go die in a ditch. Fuck, you.'

I didn't notice Butters reading over my shoulder. He was reading it out loud. "Eric!" he yelled.

"No!" Cartman yelled looking anguished. "That's not me! Kenny, dude, that's not mine!" he yelled.

"It's not." I said smiling as relief flooded through me. My thumb had covered the signature. "It's Clyde."

There was silence, and everyone stared. Clyde. Damnit, I'd get the fuck pole.

I pulled a small box over to me, and unwrapped it. It was from Wendy.

"Oh, hey!" I gasped laughing. "A fucking kit!"

It was a really neat looking shaving kit, with everything you needed. Everything was travel size. Cool! Something I could actually use!

"Why the hell did you all put notes in them?" I asked as I took the sticky note Wendy had attached to it. "'Kenny, you are one hell of a guy. I can't believe my fortune to have followed you through school up until now. Don't stop being Kenny, because it's the coolest thing you have. Good luck.'"

"Cool. At least she isn't so bitchy." Stan said smiling.

Annie, gave me a pair of Nike shoes. They actually did look cool, and I had to remember to thank her. Bebe gave me a two-hundred dollar gift card to ITunes? What?

"What the hell? You guys, these are the weirdest gifts in the fucking world." I said holding hers up. "Come on, you guys, what the hell is up?"

"Nothing." they all said passively.

Millie gave me a pocket knife with a note. 'Kenny, cool that you had a nice birthday. I know this is out of the ordinary, but you never know when Mysterion's gonna need to jimmy a lock. Bye.' I didn't let them see the knife, or the note. How the hell did she know? Red gave me a nice book. How to impress a chick on your first date; Tips, and tricks. I'm gay, you dork! Now, it was time for the real gifts.

I grabbed a box that said: From Eric' from the pile, and opened it. I looked at him before continuing, but he didn't show any emotion at all. I looked down at the box, and my heart stopped. It was a red logo that looked familiar. Verizon? No way! Fuck no! This isn't happening. I opened the box, and inside lay an iPhone, complete with charger, manual, and headset. I stared at him. He didn't say a thing. As usual, there was a note. 'Kenny, you filthy son of a bitch. When will you ever realize the truth, you poor shit. Are you blind, too? How can you not see that the one person who really loves you is watching you all these years get killed, over and over again?'

He knew? And he never said anything? Even now? He just sat there, yawning, and trying to stay awake. I didn't let anyone see that note, and I showed them my latest luxury.

"Your turn!" I said touching Butters who was beside me, and grabbing a box that had his name written in his perfect penman ship.

I opened it as gently as I could, and extracted what looked like…

"Really, Butter Cup?" I asked laughing. "Really?"

"Well, yeah!" he said smiling at me. "You'll need it, Kenny. Don't go getting into any fights, now. I want you to have it for a long time. Oh, and it's water proof. Neato, huh?"

It was a really nice golden wrist watch. I smiled as I slipped it on, and slipped my phone into my pocket. I took it out again, and looked at Eric.

"Does this really work?" I asked.

"Call the fag, Stan?" Cartman said glaring at him.

The phone rang in my hand, and I saw Stan's name appear on the screen. They all laughed as I flinched.

"Kinny's got a phone? Whuat?" Cartman said sarcastically, laughing from across me.

I grabbed Stan's gift, and opened it. It was a really nice pair of blue jeans. Levis, it looked like. Cool. Something else I could actually use. Kyle had given me a hooded sweet shirt, with a picture of all five of us. Whoa, and just whoa!

"How the hell did you do this?" I asked confused. "Kyle?"

"I have powers, Kenny." he said simply. "Be thankful, love it, and move on with your life."

Cartman

I'm not the romantic one here. But I notice things that no one else seems to. Things about Kenny. He is the most malnourished, under privileged kid in town. His mom, and dad were so abusive to him, and he and his two siblings had absolutely no parent to rely on. I was s'prized Kevin made it to college, the poor fuck. Maybe it's cuz I saw what my mom was doing that I mellowed out. Maybe it's because I started feeling like Kenny was the only person on earth to relate to me. But either way, I did calm down a lot. Anyway, back to Kenny.

Kenny was the one who always got hurt. He always got hurt, and died. And sometimes, he'd come back right away, and other times, it would take weeks, or even months. His longest death by far had been back in the fourth grade when he got some sort of cancer type thing. It was the most fucked up thing I ever went through. And yet, he came back. How?

I don't know if it was because of his deaths, or because of the fact that he was flexible. It was probably both. But Kenny had a strange grace about him, if you will. He ran lightly, almost cat-like, through the streets when he needed to hide away, or run from a predator. I don't think anyone else knew it, but when he was happy about something, a slight purr would escape his mouth. Deep, deep within his gut. And it did sound like a purr, too. It vibrated softly through his whole body. I smirked to myself as I thought about the pervert in him. I wondered if he was like that in the sack? Why the hell do I care? Almost like a cat, he pressed into you at the slightest touch. When I'd go high five him, he'd almost clasp my hand in his. When Kyle, or Stan hugged him, or placed a hand on his shoulder, he'd lean into the touch slightly. Maybe he really was going through hell a lot of the time. Maybe he really did need help. Maybe, just maybe, he really was struggling with the physical, and emotional abuse. Proof of that greeted me two days after he had opened his presents at my place. There was a knock at the door, and I opened it. Having been lying on the couch trying to sleep.

"What?" I asked pulling back the door.

The sight that met my eyes confused me for a few seconds. Kyle was sobbing hysterically as he pushed his way past me and ran to the couch. Stan and Kenny looked like they were in the middle of a fight. They were both yelling at each other, but stopped when I gave them both a killer glare.

"The fuck did yuh guys do to Cal?" I asked.

I was taken by surprise again, as Stan furiously shoved a screaming Kenny into my house. Tears sprang to Kenny's face as he stumbled in.

"I told you not to fucking do that, Stanley! You're gonna kill me!" Kenny sounded unlike himself. "Fucking faggot!" he shouted as Stan came walking past me. I was still holding the open door.

"Sh-shut the do-door!" Kyle sobbed shrilly from the couch as he buried his head into his arms. "Shut the do-door, Eric!" he moaned.

Oh, fuck. The use of a first name was never good. Not around me, anyway.

"Will someone please, tell me what the fuck is going on here?" I asked confused.

All three boys started rabbling. It was almost like hearing all those fags who start protesting between the hours of five thirty PM, and ten on Saturdays at the Mayor's office. I yelled at the top of my lungs and the boys all shut their mouths quickly. Kyle still crying openly as he sat on the couch. He looked like someone had died.

"Okay! Now… tell me… one by one, what the hell is going on. And if you talk over each other, I'll beat you gahs into a bloody pulp." I said simply. "Starting with the Ginger."

"I'm going first!" Kinny shouted so loudly, that's when I noticed he had not pulled his hood up.

"Okay. You have the floor! Don't… bore… me!" I said slowly.

"These mother fucking dick faces decided to come to my house unannounced!" Kinny yelled. "Because they so graciously invited themselves, they walked in, and think they saw something bad, when really, they saw… my mom and dad beating me." We were stunned.

"Wait!" he shouted before anyone opened their mouths. "Karen was trying to run away, and I jumped in to defend her. Okay? I sent her to Red's place, so she can be with her sister, who's my sister's best friend. These little fuckers forcefully dragged me to your place, just so they can shove it in my face that I was beaten. And Stan, if you lay one more hand on me, I swear, buddy, I'll punch you in the face. My knuckles have not been bruised." he said.

Oh, so it was gonna be Kenny patrol all over again. I could play this game. I'm so very good at it.

"Take off the jacket, and shirt." I ordered standing in front of him now.

"No!" he yelled. "I was doing fine, until your little couple of queens came to my place!" he yelled. "Okay? I don't need any of your bullshit, on top of all of mine!"

"It's not bullshit, Kenny!" Stan yelled as his face exploded to the same color of Kyle's hair. "It's fucking friendship! We extended it to you for the last fucking seventeen years of our lives! The least you can do is thank us!" he shouted so loud, his voice cracked. "This is not bullshit!" he shouted.

"Oh, and you don't think inviting yourselves to my place is not bullshit?" Kinny asked. "You don't know who I could be having over, what might be going on, or if you guys could get seriously hurt!"

"K-Kenny!" Kyle sobbed. "We love you, man! We wanna help you! We don't wanna see you hurting every single fucking day, because you're too stubborn to take the help people offer!" he moaned. "It's not fair! Why? Why the hell is this happening! Kenny's my best friend!" he said collapsing into renewed sobs.

"Are we all gonna stand here, yelling at you, or are you gonna take your jacket off?" I asked.

"I'm leaving." Kenny said heading towards the door.

"You go ahead and do that!" I yelled. "See how far you get, you coward!"

"You don't call me a fucking Coward, Cartman!" Kenny shouted. "You of all people! This is fucking Mysterion you're talking to! You of all people have no right to call me a coward!" he yelled. "This is why I'm leaving. I've gotta get some sleep. I haven't slept well in over two and a half days. I'm tired, I'm looking forward to hell. Okay? Let me go."

"You are a coward!" Stan yelled throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "You don't wanna let us help you, and you're running away to the fucking liquor store, probably! To get rid of the pain, and face the shit drunk! Ha! Mysterion? Drinking? Really? What an influence on the youth of this God forsaken town!" Stan yelled.

"Kenny, your hair!" Kyle moaned as he tried to stand up. "Stan, Eric, his hair!"

That's when I became slowly aware that Kenny's hair was matted with blood. Oh, fuck. He had a head wound.

"They bleed a little." Kenny said running his fingers through where the cut was, and bringing them to his eyes. "It's almost done."

"Who are you kidding, Kenny?" Stan asked looking queasy. "Because it's sure as hell not us."

"Take your jacket off, and let's see what happened." I ordered dominantly. "Don't forget, Kinny. I'm stronger than you."

"Fuck you, Cartman, you piece of filthy shit!" he shouted as he turned around.

I grabbed him, and he let out the most painful yell I've heard in a long while. Tears actually filled his eyes, and he tried to pull away.

"You're hurting him!" Kyle sobbed hard. "You're h-hurting him, Eric!" he moaned. "Let go! Oh, god, someone help us!" he sobbed.

"If the little prick would just take his jacket and shirt off!" I shouted bitterly. "Then things would be okay!"

Kenny was actually crying now, too. This was so out of character for Kenny. Perverted, strong, tough, uncaring Kenny. Both he and Kyle were reduced to Tears as Stan rushed to collect his Jew, while I gently helped Kenny upstairs and to my bathroom. Mom, thank you for once for being out of the house. I guided my blond to the bathroom, and helped him pull off his shirt. Stan and Kyle came walking in, and the lights overhead flicked on. Kenny was shaking as he sobbed in my grip. We both worked together as I pulled the shirt off. I heard two gasps.

Kenny had fresh swelling bruises all over his rib cage, his back, his arms, and…

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan yelped. "Is that a fucking cigarette burn? What the fuck?" he shouted. "Kenny?"

I looked at my best friend, and stared at him for a while, taking in every bruise from this angle. I helped him gingerly get out of his jeans and briefs. What the hell; Kenny had seen my cock many times, and I'd seen his. He and I had both seen Kyle and Stan's at several points. The only one who seemed to mind was Kyle, and that gradually wore off. Stan was turning on the water to the shower, as Kyle and I both gasped. Kenny's legs looked like they'd give way any moment as he supported a bruised and battered frame. God, what the hell had this boy gone through? I gently walked over to him, and helped him get into the tub. I took off my clothing, and jumped in with him. I left the curtain open, not really bothering to try and shield myself from the two boys sitting on the sink counter across from me, and Kenny.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. "It's gonna hurt like hell."

Kenny was still sobbing, and so was Kyle as I trained the shower head on our bodies, and the warm water began to soak us both.

In order from tallest to smallest, Stan and I, standing at a good six foot two, Kenny, at a good five nine, and Kyle, at a small five four. I pulled the smaller blonde into me, and I started to make the warm water soak his hair. He was still crying as I did this, but pressed into me as we both stood in the shower.

"I know it really hurts, man." I said softly. "But work with meh on this one!" I pleaded. "Seriouslah!"

Soon, I was working the shampoo into his locks, and I was washing him up gently with the soap. Good thing I'd just taken a shower a little before him. Otherwise I'd need to redo. But it was okay. Soon, I worked the conditioner into his hair combing it slightly with the comb that lay on the soap dish. Kenny's sobs had stopped, and he was unmoving as he stood in front of me. Every once in a while, when I needed to move the shower head so that the water wouldn't stream down on us, Kenny would audibly moan. He was cold, I could tell. Soon, after the crying had ceased, he leaned against me, and I tried to get the rest of the conditioner and blood out of his hair.

"He's passed out." Stan said softly staring.

"He's okay, though? Right?" Kyle asked still trembling in Stan's arms.

"He's completely fine." Stan said sighing. "He's just asleep. He was fucking tired today."

"Hand me a towel." I said after I made sure he was good to go.

I wrapped him gently up in a towel, and carried him out. I handed him off to Stan, who leaned him up against the sink counter as I got dressed into my boxers and jeans, and I quickly regained him back. I dressed him, and we all walked back into my bedroom. Kyle pulled the covers down my bed, and I help Kenny lay down underneath them.

"What the hell are we gonna do?" I asked as we all gathered seats around Kenny's bed.

"Dude, we gotta fuckin' call someone." I moaned. "No one deserves that kind of shit. No one. I don't care how much hell he has to go through, you don't do that." I moaned.

"Ugh. We gotta go home." Kyle said sighing. "I'll get my ass kicked by my mom."

"I'll tell Butters what happened." Stan said as they both stood.

"I'm so fucking fed up with this!" I moaned. "He deserves better."

"Yeah. I know." Kyle said through another sad sob as he came and hugged me. "I f-fucking hate him for not wanting us to help!" he sobbed burying his head into my chest.

"Oh, Cal." I sighed. "You know it's his damn pride."

"God, dude!" Stan moaned. "Pride or no, you have to admit this is getting out of hand. Where is Karen?"

"She's at Red's." I said, sighing again. "Anyway, I'll see you guys later. Don't hug me again, Cal." I said teasing as I squeezed him tightly. "Or I'll get Jew gunk all over mahself."

"Fuck you!" he said still holding on to me. "We'll meet here Sunday?" he asked letting me go.

"Sunday." Stan and I said sighing.

"Don't wake him up, Cartman." Stan said sighing again. "Ca'mon, Kyle."

/\/\/\/\/\

Luckily, the next day was Saturday. When I opened my eyes, the weight of my responsibility came crashing down on me. I could feel the warmth of Kenny lying beside me. He was lying at a very unexplainable weird angle.

"What?" I asked confused.

"This is the only way I could be comfortable." he muttered. "It's less painful. I feel a little bit better today, though. You made my hair all gay." he muttered laughing.

Kenny

"Why?" Cartman asked simply. "Because you can actually tell each strand apart?" he asked. "Gee, I'll tell Cal you said that."

"What does he have to do with this?" I asked closing my eyes.

"That," he stopped. "Cal suggested I get the hair to untangle." he said simply.

"Kay." I muttered. "What's up for today?"

"You're not." he said bitterly. "I swear, Kinny, if you so much as move, I'll beat your balls in."

"Oh brother…." I muttered as I closed my eyes.

They all had good intentions. A memory came back to me. Kyle had been clutching himself for dear life as he sobbed on Cartman's couch. "It's not fair! Why? Why the hell is this happening! Kenny's my best friend!" Then, he sobbed. My heart had broken, and I felt ashamed of myself for refusing their offers of help. Mistaking them for pity, and charity. When all along, they all loved me.

"How do you feel?" Cartman asked still lying beside me.

"Like I got beaten to death last night… yelled at… passed out." I said sarcastically.

"Really?" he asked. "Because I feel like I had to resist the urge to do the beating last night. For reals though, Kinny. How do you feel?"

"I'm a lot better." I said sighing. "I can lay a little bit more comfortable now. A little like this." I said as I pinned him down and lay there staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

"Kinny, I don't care how much you try to pretend to flirt with me, you are not getting out of that bed." he said as he gently wrapped his arms around me.

Cartman

I heard that familiar purr as I wrapped my arms around him, and I held him tightly in my grip. He slightly pressed into me. Oh, God, you feel so good, Ken. You feel so good.

"I'm gonna go make breakfast." I said sighing. "Maybe, if God's on our side today, Mom will have something downstairs, and she'll be sober, and alone." I said sighing.

"Can I at least move my sick bed down to the couch?" he asked.

"Fine." I said sighing. "I'll help you, if you'd let me."

"Fine." he said as we both got up.

We both got dressed. I don't know when it started, but Kenny had gradually been leaving bits and pieces of his clothing at my place. They'd get washed, and put back into my closet on what I now saw as Kenny's side of the closet. So, he had plenty of clothes to wear. Not only that, I secretly bought him a lot of clothes I knew would fit him, and put it all on his side of the closet. He grabbed a short sleeved red T, and a pair of denim shorts.

"Really, man?" I asked looking at him.

"I figure, I'm not going anywhere today, because my three dads grounded me." he said sighing. "So, I might as well."

We made our way down to the living room, and found it empty. Kenny lay down on one of the couches, and I walked into the kitchen.

"Poopsy?" my mom asked as I walked in. "Is that you? Is Kenny in the living room?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said as I looked at her sober manner. Relief flooded through me.

"I made pancakes, bacon, and eggs." she said simply. "Hash browns are on the platter in the oven."

"I'll go see if Kinny wants any." I said sighing.

I walked over to the living room, and went to stand by my best friend.

"Want food?" I asked.

"Uh huh." he answered softly.

I helped him up, and we both walked into the kitchen. I noticed that he was having trouble walking a little. He winced every step he took.

"Here, Ken." I said sadly.

I walked over to him, and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders, dragging him a little as we walked. I noticed him purr slightly again, and his body pressed closer to me. I smiled secretly to myself, and led him to a chair. I helped him sit down gingerly, and saw him wince one last time.

"Sorry." I muttered softly.

"Oooooo!" my mom said coming over to us. "Were you a bad boy, Kenny?" she asked. "Was someone naughty with one of his clients? Or was it your first time? Did you lose your innocence, sweetums?" she asked.

"Mom, please!" I shouted as Kenny went white. "Get your food, sit down, and eat!" I yelled. "Don't move, or I'll kick your face in." I added to my blonde as I walked into the kitchen, and got his plate. I piled it high with food as my mom bobbed around behind me trying to convince me to get her a date with him.

"Mom, he's my age! Okay?" I asked. "Not exactly forty-four. And with all the plastic surgery you've had, you look worse and worse every day." Ouch. That one had to hit hard. But it's true! And I didn't want to try and love someone who'd never really loved me back. Gaw!

I walked over to Kenny, and set his plate down in front of him. I noticed him leaning back a little and his head fell on to my chest. My mom had stools all around the table. He pressed gently on me as I bent forward and put the plate down.

"You don't know." He muttered as I left.

He was right. I didn't know. Not quite, anyway. I only knew what it was like to live with a whore. Or whatever my mom was.

"I'm going out, poopsykins!" she cooed as she came walking over to me. "I'll be home soon." she said smiling. "Don't leave too soon, Kenny! Wouldn't wanna leave without a gift, now, would you?" she asked.

"When do you think you'll be home?" I asked confused.

"I won't take too long. Probably be home tonight." she said smiling. "I made enough food for three days, just in case."

Just in case? She's never fed a Kenny, has she? Ugh.

"Is… your mother… hitting on me?" Kenny asked in Mysterion's low gruff vocals.

"Yeah, dude." I said as my eyes filled with tears. "She is. I expected you to take her up on her offer."

"It's… gross." he said still in Mysterion's tone. "That's… just… fuckin' sick." he muttered. "It's not a funny joke, Coon."

"No." I said simply as a fat tear slid down my cheek. "She hit on me, once. She was like hella drunk, and tried to make me…" A knot formed in my throat, and I closed my mouth as my tears fell from my face and on to my lap.

"Sorry." Mysterion said simply. "Sorry, about that. I really hate how mostly every family here is fucked up. It sucks ass. I'm sorry I'm not really a source of comfort for you, either." he muttered.

Source of comfort? Kenny's been my one and only source for the longest time. For all of us. He's been our therapist for the last seventeen years of our lives! How was he not a source of comfort? I wiped my tears, and started eating as the silence fell again. This time, it felt painful. It felt so bad. My phone rang in my pants pocket, and I took it out.

"Hey, Jew!" I said excitedly. "Sup?"

"Wanna know if you're in for video games tomorrow. I can't today, 'cuz Temple." he said yawning. "But I'm planning it all out."

"Dude, hell yeah!" I said smiling. "Where's Stan?" I asked.

"Three way call." Stan said simply.

"Did you guys let Butters know?" I asked.

"Yeah. He said he was gonna do all his homework today, so he could be there tomorrow." Stan replied, sounding like he was yawning too. "How's Kenny?"

"He's…" I wanted to say 'help; he's falling apart, and so am I, and we need you guys to either come live with us, and make this less of a hell, or adopt us'. But that's not what came out of my mouth. "Doing fine. We're like almost done with breakfast."

"Did you guys hear?" Kyle asked sadly. "Elizabeth Taylor's dead."

"Oh, shit." Kenny gasped dropping his fork. I opened my phone, so the duo on the other line was on speaker.

"Who said?" Kenny asked, leaning into the phone.

"I saw it on Facebook." Kyle said simply. "She passed away not too long ago."

"This spring break sucks hard." Kenny moaned. "Damn."

"Who the hell are we talking about?" I asked.

"Dude! Really?" Stan asked.

"Only the most beautiful woman in movie history." Kenny said drooling a little. "I'd have fucked her, any day."

"Kenny!" Kyle squealed with his unusually shrill pitch. "Gross! Too soon, buddy."

"Oh yeah, huh? I have to wait another twenty-two point three years." he said sighing. "No one seems to have waited for Michael."

"You did." I said laughing. "You still won't put down your RIP poster in your room."

"It was only a matter of time before she died." Kenny sighed. "Michael was all that kept her going. Hell, him and Eminem are all that keep me going."

Gee, Ken. I'm glad I'm on your top ten. I thought, grimacing.

"Anyway, I'll see you guys later. I've gotta go. Mom's all over me." Kyle said sighing.

"Kay, see yuh." Kenny and I both said.

"Let us know later, okay?" Stan asked. "I'm gonna go get breakfast."

I closed the phone and pushed end. Stan, Kenny and Kyle all had iPhones, I had an LG because I liked it better. It wasn't the rage this season, and I really didn't want to follow the crowd.

"So, what's up for today?" I asked.

"Well," Kenny said sighing. "I'm sure as hell hoping you'll get me another plate full of food, and we'll see from there." he said simply.

I patiently waited, and fed him as much as he asked for. Soon, the hellish journey came and we had to get him to the couch again.

"I swear!" he grunted as he walked clumsily with me. "It's because of the fucking food that I feel worse. My weight is slightly more, and it hurts my body." he moaned.

"Slowly." I said as we made it to the living room.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I got up, and walked to open it. It was Butters.

"Hey, Butter Scotch." Kenny said cheerfully as I led the boy in.

"Heya, Kenny!" he said smiling. "H-how's it going?" he asked.

"Fine." Kenny said smiling. "What's up?"

"Yeah, I was just about to ask you the same thing." I said smiling back at him.

"Nothing. I just wanted to see how you were doing." Butters said sitting down on one of the empty spaces right beside Kenny's stomach.

"Let's watch television." I said simply. "I've got, To Kill a Mockingbird. Kyle told me to watch it, and I'm doing it for English class. Or History, I dunno which." I said yawning.

Kenny

So, Butters, Cartman and I sat, well, I lay, watching television. It was probably the strangest saddest movie I've ever seen. I liked it, because it put a focus on real life in the eighteen hundreds. At one point all three of us were crying as we sat through the trial of Tom Robinson. Butters and Cartman weren't even trying to hide their tears. So, I figure why should I. I shifted my position, and Cartman and Butters both laid their heads on my stomach. Well, Cartman was on my groin, but who cared. I was too busy paying attention to the movie. There was another round of tears as we neared the ending, and Scout got almost kidnapped. Soon, the end credits were rolling over the TV.

"The b-book is a l-lot more exciting." Butters said wiping tears away. "Reminds me. I gotta go. I'm supposed to be-"

"Grounded?" Cartman and I said at once.

"No, fellas!" he said getting up. "I'm supposed to be reading Hamlet." he sighed. "I needed this one, though. See you guys later. Kenny, feel better." he said leaning down and giving me a very light hug.

"Thank you, Leopold." I whispered as I hugged him back. "Sorry I can't really hug you much. I hurt so bad." I moaned.

"Don't worry, Ken." he said smiling. "You'll feel okay soon. You're a hero, not a damsel." he said smiling as he hugged Eric.

Oh yeah? If I was a hero, then, why was I here? If I was a hero, then how come my mom and dad were able to lay hands on me like that? Jesus tap dancing Christ.

We hung around doing pretty much nothing all day. Cartman actually did a little bit of his homework, and I was really proud of him. We're not dumb, really. If we try, we can really do things by ourselves. It was around eleven fifteen, and I really needed to relieve some pressure in my stomach. I was glancing through the television, and La Dulce Vida, had been on. I didn't stop on it, but I saw the pictures flash by as I changed the channel.

"You like Michael Lucas?" Cartman asked.

"Why?" I asked grinning at him.

"Because you're wearing really tight shorts all of a sudden." Cartman said smiling.

I laughed as I unzipped and pulled my straining member out. Holy shit, how long had it been? Three days? The next thing that happened, I didn't know what the hell I felt. Or if it was brotherly help, or more than that. Cartman grabbed a tiny tube of lotion from the coffee table, and put some on his hands. Then, he took my cock in his left hand, and removed my hand from it. I gasped, but didn't move.

I closed my eyes, and let the feelings wash over me. Oh, God. Was he really jacking me off? Why? What had come over him. I opened my eyes, and looked at him. Our gazes locked, and he gave me a very sweet smile. It wasn't an awkward one, it was just... a very decent one. I let out a moan, and relaxed a little bit.

Cartman

I gazed into his ocean blue eyes, and stared intently at him. I focused on giving him as much pleasure, from just my hand, as I could. Kenny, you had to feel this one, man. You just have to see how much I care about you. Serious, man. I felt him move, and his hand closed around mine, and his throbbing member. He gently sped up, and I tried to give him the best hand job he's ever had. Soon, he moaned, and I grabbed a tissue from the coffee table. I placed it over his erection, and he spewed into it just as I held it there. He let out a moan, and I saw his expression. His lips slightly parted, and a flush on his cheeks. He sighed as he finished. Our eyes met again, and he smiled at me. I shot the paper into the trash can, and I gently helped him fix his clothing. He closed his eyes as I pulled his fly up.

"What kind of lotion was that anyway?" he asked.

"Some stupid vanella crap. Victoria's Secret or whatever that place is called. My mom got it."

"Thanks, Cartman." he said softly. "Although, we just shouldn't have done that."

"Why?" I asked.

"Cuz now, I'm fuckin' exhausted, and won't be able to get up stairs. I feel like lead."

"So, don't." I said as I got up. "I'll go get you blankets."

I grabbed two thick comforters, and walked back down stairs. Kenny was lying on the couch waiting for me. I tucked one of the pillows under his head, and I gently lay myself beside him. It was a small couch as far as width, but we both fit comfortably in it. I tucked the blankets around us, and he wrapped his arms around me. I hoped I didn't gasp out loud.

"G'night, Eric." he said softly.

"Love you, Ken." I said gently as I wrapped my arms, around his shoulders.

"Love you too. Thank you for…" he stopped. "You know?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." I said letting out a heavy sigh. "You're okay, Ken."

I felt him sort of sink into me a little, and I heard the faintest of cat purrs escape him. I felt his whole body vibrate as he purred slightly.

Kenny

When I awoke the next day, Cartman was still beside me. His arms were wrapped gently around me, and somehow, we had both stayed on the couch. I remembered what had happened yesterday, and I thought it would be awkward, but it was fine. Cartman slightly stretched a little and sighed.

"You better?" he asked.

"Mmmmmm." I let out a soft reply.

"Good, because we're kickin' ass, and taken names today, my brother." he said simply. "Stan, Jew boy, and Butters will be here later." he said sighing.

"You still got any cake?" I asked.

"Hell yeah. It was too big for my own good." Cartman said smiling as we both lay there.

"Hey," he said softening up a little. "You still hurt?"

"No, but I'm fucking warm." I said sighing. "I really don't wanna move."

"Sorry." he said smiling. "If I move, it'll get rid of some of that heat." he said grinning. "Too bad!" he said a little loud. "I have to go get breakfast ready."

"Aw god damnit." I moaned similar to Stan. "Fuck you."

"You want food, don't you?" he asked. "Don't you?"

"Yes." I said yawning again. "Go get the food."

/\/\/\/\/\

It was a week after the season had started up again. We were back in school, and everything was going well. The Saturday after, I made sure Karen was safe, and Cartman and I drove down to Denver. We snuck into a bar, courtesy of Token and his infamous fake ID skills, and we had ourselves a good time. He was going as my baby sitter, because he didn't touch beer. Or wine, for that matter. But it was all going to be different today.

I was wearing a pair of pressed jeans. I had on a polo under a nice leather jacket. Cartman said I needed to look less little boyish. He had on a similar outfit, only he was sporting a denim jacket. We actually passed for twenty-one and over, and they let us in.

"Have a nice night." the bouncer said as we both walked in.

"Dude!" Cartman gasped as we headed for the bar. "This place has a fucking karaoke lounge!"

Cartman had a lot of strange hobbies. He was learning German, he loved Lady Gaga, and he loved making a fool of himself on stage. "The crowd loves me." So, Karaoke was a very good way to make totally sure, that he did that. He almost became overly excited as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Calm down!" I whispered. "Let's get drinks, and like go and have a look. But don't go all girlie on me." I hissed.

"What can I get you nice gentlemen?" asked a lady at the bar as we both walked over.

"I'd like a glass of Strawberry hill for my partner, and a Pina Colada for myself." I said simply. "Heavy on the liquor."

"Sure thing, sir. ID?" she asked.

"Here's these." Cartman said as he handed his ID over, and I handed mine over. "And here's this." he said handing over a credit card.

"Thank you, Mr. Cartman. Here you go, Mr. McCormick." she said handing me my ID back. "Drinks will be around in a moment."

We got a couple of drinks before we started feeling the buzz. Cartman couldn't quite believe how good his drink was, and around his fourth glass, he simply couldn't take it.

"Dude, how do you know?" he asked simply. "This shit is good!"

"I'm a wine connoisseur." I said smiling at him. "Anyway, let's go hit the fucking Karaoke lounge. I figure half everyone's already drunk and won't mind if you make a fool out of yourself, tubby."

He didn't protest, and we both headed down to the lounge. A very drunk rendition of "We Are Who We Are" was being sung by a very drunk forty year old woman. She didn't quite get the applause as she finished. It was now, Eric's turn.

"Muh muh muh muh." he started as the DJ started up his song.

"Is he with you?" asked a girl who looked about our age. "He's good looking."

She was tall and thin, with chocolate brown eyes, and long brown hair. I smiled at her. "Yeah. Not as good looking as you." I said smiling. "What's your name?"

"Lucy." she said smiling. "Yours?"

"Ken. Do you come here often?" I asked.

"And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart, heart." Cartman sang making me look over at him.

"You should tell him the truth." she said sweetly, avoiding my question.

"What?" I asked as he did a crazy dance move that got most of the people cheering and egging him on.

"I've seen how you look at him this whole time. You should tell him. I think it's sweet."

"Hey! I thought you were flirting with me!" I glared.

"Well, yeah! But you keep turning over to him, and I'm not stupid. You're lost to me. Anyway, there's plenty of other guys, but only one you, and one him. What's his name?"

"She's got to love no body!" Cartman sang from the stage.

"Cartman." I said as my stomach churned.

"Do you like Lady Gaga?" the girl asked leading me to the edge of the stage. "Join him up there. Surprise him."

"I think I will." I whispered.

"Ah wanna roll with him a hot pair we would be!" Cartman sang as I crept up behind him. "Don't give a crap about whales so go and hug a tree. I love it. Russian roulette is not the same without a gun. And when it comes to drugs if it's not weed it isn't fun, fun."

Cartman was going all out! He was doing this crazy moon walking thing, which got the whole crowd clapping with the beat of the song. He finished singing to the chorus.

"I'll get Ken hot, show him what I got."

Wait… what…? No! I took the other mic, still to his complete obliviousness. And I waited until it was time for me. And suddenly….

"I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you. Cuz I'm bluffin' with my muffin'. I'm not lyin', I'm just stunnin' with my love glue gunnin'. Just like a chick in the casino, take your bank before I pay you out. I promise this, promise this. Check this hand, cuz I'm marvelous."

I showed everyone a hand as I circled around a very surprised blushing Cartman. He started up with the chorus, and I started doing a very suggestive dance holding him close as we gathered cheers from the crowd. Everyone was up and cheering when we both walked off stage.

"Introduce yourself!" a young man shouted at me as I walked past.

"Kenny!" I shouted still holding Cartman's arm.

"Will you do "The Next episode" with me and your friend here?" he asked. "You be Nate Dogg!" he said through the cheers.

"Da da da da da! It's the mother fuckin' D O double G." the youth sang.

"Snoop Dogg!" Cartman yelled as the song proceeded.

It didn't take long for the crowds to gather with all the commotion in the Karaoke lounge. We were the center of attention, and Cartman loved it.

"Slip my hoe a forty-foe and she got in the back door!" the youth sang as we all danced on the stage.

If I played my cards right. Things would be okay. By the end of the night, I was going to tell Cartman the exact truth. Everything.

"It's the mother fuckin' D R E!" the first youth's friend shouted. Yeah, that's right. It was four of us up there.

"Dr. Dre, muthafuckah!" Cartman shouted as people started clapping with the beat again.

"Straight out the fuckin' streets o' CPT!"

How was I not surprised that the lounge got packed as we all made fools of ourselves? How was I not surprised when lines of girls got in front of the DJ to select a hit, so we could sing with them? Damn, we were getting our fifteen minutes of fame.

"Hold up." I sang in a low alto. The mic being held by Cartman as he pressed into me. "Heeeyyy! Fo ma' niggas who be thinkin' we soft. We don't. Play. We gon' rock it 'til the wheels fall off. Hold up. Heeyy."

They all became tense as I kept singing. Finally, the grand finale.

"Smoke weed every day." we all sang smoothly.

We all made our way to the back of the stage and jumped off. We all made our separate way through the bars, and Cartman and I got a couple more drinks.

"You like it, Kinny?" he asked as we sat at the bar.

"Oh, hell yeah." I said smiling. "This beats rock band three." I said smiling.

"Will you do one with me?" asked a girl.

"I don't just-." I stopped.

She was a tall thin black girl who looked almost like Nicki Minaj. "Is that supposed to be a costume?" I asked.

"Yep. And I need a Drake. It's a spoof, though. Can you handle those?" she asked.

"Ca'mon, Kinny! You should totally do it." Cartman egged. "You'd be awesome, brah."

"Okay. Do you mind?" I asked.

"Naw. I'll watch you guys."

"Take this sheet, review it, and finish off a couple more glasses." she said smiling. "I wanna do this perfect."

It was a complete spoof to "Moment 4 Life". I got the hang of it ten minutes later, and Cartman and I headed back to the lounge. Someone had just finished doing a Sir Mix A Lot song.

"That's for you, Ken." Cartman said smiling. "But yours is: I like big boobs and I cannot lie." he said as the crowd clapped politely. It wasn't the same as the cheers we gathered.

"Thanks for that, fool." I said laughing. "Meet me back here when the song's over."

"You ready?" she asked. "I'm Sarah, by the way."

"Nice to meet you." I said smiling. "I'm Kenny."

We both walked quickly up to the stage as more people applauded. "You sing good." she said smiling.

"I actually, believe it or not, was sent to Europe for a training when I was eight-ish, or nine." I said simply. "My friends and I wanted to form a circus."

"Oh, wow! Did you do it?" she asked.

"No. When I came back, they were on about some other shit. I nearly beat their faces in."

Well, it was true. Here I was wasting all my time, and when I came back, the guys didn't want to do our circus anymore. And my Romanian beauties were gone. I didn't even get to kiss any of them. Fucking bastards. Those girls were fucking hot! The song suddenly started up. The black girl taking the mic first and started.

"I see roaches out the side o' my eye.

They are lookin' at me, like hi.

Buy some Raid is what I advise.

It's disgustin', but you're a guy.

C-c-c-call the bug man,

Is who you hire.

I'm 'bout to start a fire,

On your attire.

And yes, you're a pervert.

I call you Mike Meyers.

Bro you should give it up,

And just retire!" She let out a yell just like Nicki had a habit of doing. "At this very moment you stink.

At this very moment there's a bug, crawlin' on your ring.

At this very moment, I cringe.

Put it on everything.

Under your clothes or somethin', move in.

And I'm 'bout to have a break down. Yes.

No it's not funny, I'm stressed. Yes.

Never seen a roach with gold. Teeth.

Man there's even roaches on your phone. Eee!

Your house is crazy, roaches on your Pepsi.

Bugs came in gangs, Bloods and Crips, and it's crazy!

They came from the hood, they won't leave, cuz they lazy.

Tellin' all yuh neighbours you got roaches on my baby!

Ain't being scary, I'm jus' frustrated.

Sooner or later all o' them roaches'll be exterminated.

Hope so.

This night just remind me of,

How I need to take a bath with dove.

P-p-p-p-p-put your pants up.

It's embarrassin' you think we gonna hook up.

M-man this house is just like a dump truck.

Hopeless is what we on the brink of."

She sang good. And with ease, she slid into the chorus.

"These roaches run when I go turn on the lights.

The lights.

The lights.

Cuz when I seen 'em I was shocked by they size.

The size. The size.

They run and scatter when I turn on a light. A light. A light.

This is disgusting clean your house up tonight. Tonight. Tonight."

She came up to me, and threw her arm around my waist. As I slid into my solo.

"Yeah. When I see deese bugs, bow-bow-bow, I stomp on 'em with ma' knees.

They even got a mafia, sellin' all my weed.

Some o'dem Dominican, bigger than ma' trees.

I'm at target shoppin' tryna get somethin' for dem tuh leave.

Shoppin' but I got about, five hundred o' these.

Shout out to the leader though.

He let me sleep in peace.

Oh. They wanna be my friends, isn't that dreadful.

Some o' dem are even rappers, they gave me a demo.

I cain't shower, da watah is cold.

Forty of 'em got away, they look like a troll.

These roaches be doin' crimes, mane, they on parole.

Got 'em waitin' in the kitchen man, when I get home.

Fuck, yeah. I'm not even afraid.

All deese roaches got money, they pay they own way.

Forget about these roaches girl, let's get married today.

We'll leave the crumbs on the ground, they can have a buffet.

Yummy! Yeah.

Girl, you are my prize.

You'll get used to these roaches, let's party tonight.

Do I really wan'em gone I can hardly decide.

I can't believe you wanna spray 'em I hope they survive.

God. Damn.

This one knew how to cook.

Sam, I swear this one used to read me some books.

Stan, I'm really gonna miss 'em cuz they were ma'kids.

Damn I'm 'bout to go cry, cuz they used to pay the bills."

After that lengthy solo, she slid right into the chorus again. Damn, that sounded a lot like my house. Only, the roaches didn't pay the bills, and weren't big. The water was still cold, and, I spotted Cartman. He was cheering me on as the song went on, and the girl sang. As she sang, I threw lines in casually.

"Yeah girl! (The Lights.) I know it might seem kinda messy, but, see, my roommate's out of town. (Cuz when I seen 'em.) She usually cleans up. Actually, it's my mom. (The size.) Well, I pay rent. So technically, it's my roommate."

The people started laughing as the girl finished off the chorus and ended the song.

"This is the moment.

I've been avoidin'.

But I guess it's my time.

I'm still a virgin.

Damn this is crazy.

But I guess I'll be fine."

The place was yelling with applause as we both made our way back down to the crowd. People clapped my shoulders, clapped her shoulders, and Eric hugged me.

"You were awesome!" Eric yelled as we both headed off.

"That kinda hurt my head." I said laughing a little as he grabbed my upper arm and we both made our way through the minglers. "I'm not really much of a rapper, but I couldn't say no to her."

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten laid by any of them yet." he said laughing. "I saw the girl walk up to you when I was trying to do Gaga."

"You knock me off of my feet baby!" We both smirked as some Michael Jackson impersonator sang.

"Where to now?" I asked smiling at him.

"I was thinkin'…" He stopped and I felt him pulling me back.

"What?" I asked.

"Dude! Isn't that Stan's uncle Jimbo?" he whispered.

"Fuck!" I gasped.

Too late. He saw us. Cartman and I both moaned as he came walking over to us.

"Hey, boys!" he said in that too loud too shrill voice. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." I whispered as the music stopped and the place became quiet. "Will you be quiet, Jimbo? You're gonna kill us."

"Oh, don't worry." he said softly this time. The music was still stalling. "You'll be fine. I won't tell Stu and Leanne." he said simply. "Heaven knows you two needed some time out. What with the incident with your mother, and what with Stu being really mean to you a couple days ago."

"What incident?" Cartman asked tensing up beside me.

"Well, didn't you hear? She's being held at Barbrady's station until you can go get her. I thought you already took care of that. Sorry, boys. I just fucked your whole night up." he said simply.

"Hell yeah you did." I said looking daggers at him.

I turned to my friend, and saw the look of utter disbelief on his face. He stared.

"Wanna go get her?" I asked.

He nodded quietly, and I guided us both off to the bar to reclaim his credit card. Girls waved at me, and motioned to me. I felt like I really needed to puke. Imagine how badly Cartman felt.

"I need to go." I said as a familiar girl came walking over to me. "I'm taking my friend to… It's an emergency. I've gotta go."

"How is it we're still sober?" Cartman asked. "I think I nearly drank a whole bar full."

"The gods want us to get your mom back, now, let's go." I said quickly.

We reclaimed his credit card, and left. We made our exit, and the bouncer said a nice goodbye as we walked out. Of course, when you're dying to get out of here, before anything else happens, or anyone else spots you, it just doesn't work. Somehow, because people know your best friend's mother is in jail, they just have to cause more hublaw.

"Hey, you little pussies." said a man coming over to us. "I saw that little display of affection down at the lounge. You don't seem to care about him as much as he does. So, do you mind if I take his little virgin ass right here?" he asked coming over to me and yanking me out of Cartman's reach. "How come you're so thin, Lord Gaga?" he asked as his hands snaked their way to my pants.

"Fuck off, you pervert!" I yelled punching him right in the nose. "I know karate!" I shouted as he screamed and pulled back a little.

"Let him go!" Cartman yelled.

"Get the car, and bring it around to the front!" I shouted. "I'll take care of this fucking fag!"

"You know what? Let's just cut the fighting, now that your boyfriend's leaving, and let's get to the real thing." he said as he pinned me against the brick wall of the club.

One swiftly placed kick in the groin, and the dude went down. He came up rather quickly, but soon, I had the upper hand. I don't even remember what the hell I did, but soon, I was running for my mother fucking life, and high tailing it out with Cartman.

"Floor it, Fatass!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Floor it!"

We rode smoothly on. The silence was tense, and I could still feel the dude's hand on my fly. Damn, what a faggot. How ridiculous are people these days. Since we were not in town, it took us a little while to get back to South Park. It was kind of tense, because I could tell Cartman was worried about his mom. We made it, though, and finally arrived at Barbrady's. We walked into the little building, and spotted a very overly drunk, Leanne.

"Come on, officer!" she cooed seductively. "You know you need it."

"Uh, no." I said simply as I grabbed her arm. "We gotta go home, Leanne." I said simply. "Eric is waiting for you outside with the security dude." I said simply as I dragged her over to the door.

"Ooo! You've been partying, baby!" she said wrapping an arm around my neck and hoisting herself up on my hips. "How about some little action?" she whispered as she ground her hips into mine.

"Get… off!" I said pushing her gently to the ground.

"No, mom!" Cartman said blushing furiously. "Don't rape Kinny! He's still a kid! Help me get her." Cartman pleaded as his eyes filled with tears and we both dragged a laughing crazy stoned Leanne to the car.

"If you're good, I'll lip wrestle with you when we get home!" I said as we tried to get her to stay still enough to put her seat belt on.

"How about you give me your man chowder?" she asked licking her lips. "I bet you have a pretty decent fire man, Ken."

"I don't believe this!" Cartman yelled as he forced her seat belt on. "You are sane enough to know who he is, and yet you still hit on him?" he asked.

"Gods can't be ignored, poopsykins!" she said shrilly. "And he's at the top of my list."

We made it back to his house, and Cartman and I both took her into the kitchen.

"Dude, I gotta go." I said as Karen flitted into my mind's eye. "I gotta go make sure Karen's okay."

"Fine." Cartman said as tears actually fell from his eyes. "Just… just… fuck." he moaned as he shook and ran upstairs.

"I'll be back soon!" I yelled.

/\/\/\/\/\

I ran off to my house, and found the surprise of my life. When I went in there, mom and dad were beating the crap out of each other, and I had to pull dad off of her. I told them to calm down, and lit a smoke for my dad as I led him to the kitchen while she settled back into the couch to sleep.

"Where's Karen?" I asked.

"In your room. Where else?" he said in his familiar twang.

I walked into the hall and saw the bathroom lights on. The door was closed, so I assumed she was in there. I walked into my room, and it was empty. I walked over to the bathroom, and was about to say something, when I spotted a shadow in Karen's room. I walked over to the room, and saw her moving around a bunch of suit cases.

"Oh, hey, Kenny!" she said softly coming over and hugging me. "How's things?" she asked.

"Good." I said simply.

"Hey, sis, can you hand me a shirt?" asked a voice as a figure came walking into the room. "Oh, hey, squirt." he said coming up to me.

"Kevin?" I asked confused. "The fuck?"

"Nice to see it's nice to see me, too." he said smiling. "Thank you, Karen." he said taking the shirt she handed him. "Where have you been?"

"How'd you get back here?" I asked. "What about college?"

"I left when you were fourteen, squirt." he said laughing. "You're looking at a new, auto mechanics major." he said smiling at me. "I'm gonna look for a job in the body shop over by True Value."

"And you decided to move back in here?" I asked.

"Kenny, let's face it little brother." he said coming over and wrapping me up in a tight hug. "Because of whatever mistake they made, mom and dad hate your guts. So, if I left you alone here, you were gonna be sure to die. Plus, I heard how bad you got it Friday night."

"Who told-?"

"I did, because I heard it from Stan and Kyle." Karen said sadly.

"And… what…? When did you see those two fucking brats?" I asked.

"They came to see me at Red's place, because they wanted to see if I was still over there. They're not brats, Ken. They're friends. And they wanna be your friends, too. Appreciate it." she said briskly.

"Kenny, man, just go have fun. Whatever you were doing." Kevin said sighing. "I'll stay and take care of these drunkasses." he muttered.

"Kay." I said softly.

Kevin

"Let's face it." I said feeling a pang of guilt. "For whatever reason, they like me, more than they like you."

"Glad we can get that straightened out." Kenny said angry.

"Well, it's not right." I said still holding him to me. "It's mean, and they shouldn't lay hands on you like that. In any case, I love you more than you'll ever know." I said simply. "And so does your sister. Huh, Karen?" I asked.

"Yeah." she said smiling. "I have to. He's a hero."

"The hero that can never die." I said softly. "If I would've been your age, or even Karen's age, I would've stopped them from going to that Cult, Kenny." I said as he stared at me. "But whatever. Just let me take care of things from now on."

Cartman

I don't know how long it had been, but I walked down stairs and found my mom passed out half naked on the couch. I sighed. I picked her up, and grabbed her top and bra, and took her up to her room. I quickly tucked her in, and left.

I hated her. I hated her so fucking much! For ruining my night! This was supposed to be the night! I was supposed to tell Kenny everything I felt. How much I loved him, needed him. How much good he did to me when he was with me, and mom was on a crazy hooker spree. And now, he'd gone home. And who knew if he'd come back tomorrow, or not. I hated her. I started silently crying as I walked into the kitchen, and spotted the mess of food she had made. There were half eaten boxes of Oreos, Hostess pies, Twinkies, an open bag of Cheetos, Takis, and some other junk food that I just didn't care about.

"Someone had the munchies." said a voice making me jump.

"Kinny?" I asked as the tears still streamed down my face.

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I turned to face him.

"Don't cry, Cartman." he mumbled as he kissed my cheek. "I fucking hate to see you cry."

"She fucked up my night!" I shouted as my tears finally let loose. "This was supposed to be my night! I was supposed to have a fucking good time!" I yelled. "And she had to go and fuck it all up!"

"She fucked up my night, too, in case you haven't noticed. It's not every day someone as rich as you buys someone as poor as me drinks. For once I didn't have to whore myself to anyone for it."

"Dude, not cool!" I yelled pushing away from him.

"Look, Cartman," he said pulling off his hood. "I'm trying to make light of this situation. Okay? She fucked up my night, and if you noticed, a little bit worse. She was hitting on me. A fucking forty something year old lady was hitting on me. I'm gay, and already taken." he said sighing. "And she was hitting on me hard."

"Whoa!" I gasped. "You're gay?"

"Well, not gay, per sae. I mean, I love one guy. Not every guy. My own specific sex doesn't turn me on. Only one person, who just so happens to be of my own specific sex." he said smiling. "Why should I label myself as gay, when that only gives people a chance to bash me, and put me in a group which is always bashed up on, and given certain rules and stereotypes. No, I'm not gay, gay. I just love one person." he said smiling.

"I just can't get over the fact that she fucked up my whole night!" I sobbed. "God, what a bitch!"

"I know." Kenny said softening up a little as he came and hugged me again. "I know, man. I'm sorry." he said softly. "Wanna eat some of this junk food?" he asked. "No use in cleaning it up when we can just eat it."

He let go of me, and we both started eating the food. It was quiet for a bit, and finally, I broke the silence.

"You still got more weed?" I asked.

"Oh, you're gonna try it?" he asked laughing lightly. "No. I smoked it all just a second ago. Sorry."

"Kinny, you fuck." I moaned. "Thanks a lot. No wonder you're here eating all my food." I muttered groaning.

"Thank me later." Kenny said putting down a pie. "Because I needed to smoke it."

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, I wouldn't have the courage to say, that I think you and I would be as fitted as Stan and Kyle." he said simply. "Or, that maybe, it's time I move in with you, and leave my dump of a house, because Kevin finally came back, and he's taking care of things. To put it simply, Kenny McCormick now has hot water."

"Wha?" I gasped. "Hot water? Stan and Kyle? Wha?"

I looked at him. "I owe you." he said smiling. "Thanks for helping me jack off the other day."

I was still stuck somewhere else, trying to make sense of what he'd just said. The part about me and him… Stan and Kyle. Then, he broke through my thoughts.

"Who ran me over the other day?" he asked.

"C-Clyde." I stammered. "Fuckin' dipshit."

"So are we goin' to sleep, or not?" he asked as we both kept eating.

"Sure." I said finally letting the light bulb click on in my head.

Kenny started to laugh really hard. "What?" I asked.

"The look on your face!" he yelled laughing. "It's fucking priceless! It was like literally watching you figure out what one plus one is!"

Kenny still laughing, we both put away all the leftover food. All in all, today was pretty weird. I smiled as I started singing as we cleaned up the food.

"I wanna roll with him a hot pair we would be."

Kenny joined in with his comforting alto. "Don't give a crap about whales so go and hug a tree.

I love it.

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun.

And when it comes to drugs if it's not weed it isn't fun, fun."

As we cleaned up the food, we broke into the chorus. It was satisfying in a way. Soon, we were marching up stairs as Kenny recited his part. As he spoke, we started doing that crazy dance again, which was way too sexual for any little kid to be watching. Right at the chorus line, he threw me into my room and closed my door.

"Give me one good reason." he said in Mysterion's tone as he pinned me to my bed. "One good reason, Cartman. And I swear."

"Don't kill me, Mysterion!" I begged. "I still haven't finished playing… The Dogg!" I said dramatically.

I don't know how, or why I did it. I just reached up and wrapped my arms around the blonde. They encircled his waist, and I felt his body vibrate as he purred slightly. I brought my lips to his ear.

"Kinny?" I said barely above a whisper. "Stay with me. Please, Ken. I love you."

"Yeah?" he asked stroking my hair. "It's not because of the free weed, is it?"

"No." I said again, barely above a whisper.

He was still absentmindedly stroking my hair. He pulled back, and leaned into me. His lips gently pressed against mine in a gentle kiss. Oh, my god. Kenny?

"I…" I didn't know what to say. He waited for a couple seconds, before he claimed my mouth again.

"I love you, too." he said softly. "I guess I always have, Coon."

"I'm not playing." I said as tears filled my eyes. "My hell of a life would be so much more bearable if you'd just be mine." I gasped.

"So, back at the present opening day?" he asked still pinning me down. "Were you serious? Do you remember all the times I've died?" he asked almost with a pleading look. Almost as if he was begging me to say, yes.

"Yes." I said softly. "Yes, Kinny. I do. And each death, is like a stab to the heart, Ken." I said almost having trouble because of the sob that threatened to escape me.

"I… I'm glad to hear that." he whispered softly. "Car-Cart-Cartman?" he asked. "Are you serious? I mean, I don't wanna be broken again." he whispered. "I… need you."

Kenny

He claimed my mouth again, and I saw one of my tears drip steadily on to his cheek. I felt him smile underneath my lips, and I pressed him harder down on to the bed.

"No, Kinny." he whispered in that strange way that he had of saying my name. I was never Ken-ny, to him. I was Kin-ny. And Kyle was never Kyle. He was, Cal. Stan's and Butters was the only names he managed to say in that strangely unique voice he had.

"In that case, I love you, Cartman." I said in my Mysterion voice. "As long as you're my ever faithful side kick."

"No." Cartman said smiling up at me. "I'll just be me. We both know what happens when I become the Keeoon!" he said as he hugged me tighter to him. "Oh, Kinny, I love you so fucking much!" he moaned as he devoured my mouth again.

Author's Note:

The lyrics used for the spoof that Kenny sings with Sarah, A.K.A., Moment For Life, are actually real. The spoof is up on the youtube web page. The user's name is QBanGuy. So, no, I did not write this.

Should this be the end? It's meant to be a oneshot, but should there be more love? Or is that solid enough? Let me know. Don't just review and say it was great cuz you love Kenric. BE HONEST!

And thanks for the help, Eternal-Lie. I'm glad you gave "Tough love". Or this wouldn't be possible.