Hey everyone this a song-fic inspired one-shot by the song that should be me. NORMAL POV
I kinda picked this song cause I know that sometimes everyone encounters this kind of feeling or problem right?
MIKAN's POV
It was very chilly today and I decided to stay at home, mope around and simply listen to music. I listened to various song ranging from: Beyonce to Taylor Swift.
Everybody's laughing in my mind
Rumors spreadin' 'bout this other guyWhen I heard those few stanza's I immediately knew what song it was. It was a song that described my life, to be more specific, My love life. That song was a song that when I hear brings back all the pain I felt "he" inflicted to my heart. That song. That dreadful song that shatters my heart everytime is That should be me.
Everybody's laughing in my mind ~Flashback~ It was a Monday that day and Mikan Sakura our lovely brunett who was still at that time 15 years old. Just arrived inside the classroom early. To some it was a shock since she always did come late.
Rumors spreadin' 'bout this other guy
But for those who knew what day it was in Mikan's calendar that is it is. Natsume and her's 6 th monthsary or their 6th month as an official couple. Mikan went inside the classroom with a big smile plastered on her face. But boy was that smile going to be thrown out the window. If only she knew. She wouldn't have came early. " HOTARU!" Mikan said as she ran to a genius of a bestfriend, And attempted to hug her. " Hotaru meanie" Mikan wailed at her bestfriend while crying waterfalls. But oh how she was wrong. " Mikan now listen to me, After you see this tape let me explain on how, where and when I got this and who are the people in it okay?" Hotaru asked her calmly but sternly. Then Hotaru dragged Mikan on to her scooter and into her lab. When they got there. Hotaru then started to role a clip. The place the clip is seen is in a bench at a park in Central Park. The girl which was more visible. It was night by then, Even though there were lights in that park they were dim. Even with the dim lights you could see that the girl had. that's when Mikan decided to take a better look at the guy. Just as she was looking closely they broke up their kiss. And the guy turned around. When Mikan saw who it was She was looking in disbelief while thinking " It can't be him he wouldn't do this to me. It must be Hotaru, She must be playing a trick on me, Or Maybe it's a camera trick, Natsume would NEVER hurt me, he said so himself " Mikan thought while convincing herself it wasn't true. Although a part of her knew it was true. She was just to stubborn to accept that Natsume cheated on her. " Mikan let me explain on how,when and where I videotaped him. "When Me and Ruka saw them, we had our suspicions. Although ruka told me Natsume wasn't the type who would ever cheat on Mikan. But I told him we should still follow them just to make sure I told him, We then followed them to that park where they talked then started making out. I started to tape it for evidence. After there make out session, I confronted Hyuuga along with Ruka. We talked to him. But all he did was say bad things about you like: She's nothing but garbage. She was just a toy. Things like that! When I couldn't take it anymore I started hitting him with my baka gun. Though ruka told me to stop, And he said he'll try to talk to Natsume. But in the end they just had a Big fight and ruka is currently in the hospital because of Natsume and his fight. But I know one thing for certain is that He and Hyuuga aren't friends anymore." Hotaru said furiously while tears were coming out of her eyes. Mikan at this point was sobbing uncontrollably while still trying to calm down Hotaru. "I will Confront him Hotaru, I will" Mikan said determined while still crying After they cleaned themselves up and went inside the classroom, they found out they were late and got scolded by Narumi-sensei.
"BAKA BAKA BAKA" before she could even get close she was hit by the almighty baka gun.
That's why I said attempted.
"Mikan, I have to show you something." Hotaru said seriously and the seriousness in her voice made Mikan nervous. But decided to shrug the feeling of since maybe Hotaru would just like to show her stolen pictures of Natsume and or Ruka. The Infamous Boyfriend of her bestfriend/ Ice queen/ black mailing queen, Imai Hotaru.
Where there it reaveled two figures making out. And by the looks on how they were making out. It was pretty intense.
Blonde hair. But due to the dim light, You can't really recognize who the blond was.
"What is the point of the video if I don't know who these two people are" Mikan thought
Well on that day that that happened,Well it was yesterday, Me and Ruka were in Central town, Strolling around, When we saw Natsume with a girl with blonde hair, that blonde haired girl fro the video to be precise. I checked her out and found out she was, Luna Koizumi, Age 15, Soul Entrapping Alice. Transfer student from Alice Academy : America." She explained
'Let's wash our face and go to the classroom before class starts Mikan." Hotaru said wiping her tear and Mikan just nodded.
When Mikan aprroached her seat she saw someone already sitting there, And it was that girl Luna. Mikan raised her hand" narumi sensei where will I sit?" mikan asked "Sit at Ruka's seat at the mean time." Narumi said "Why is that Mikan?" Narumi asked Mikan concerned.
"But Narumi sensei, I don't want to sit next to Natsume anymore." She said while trying to contain her anger and sadness. Gasps where heard all aroung. I mean Why does Mikan Sakura want to be away from her boyfriend?
When narumi looked at natsume he had an stoic expression, Luna held a proud smirk on her face, As if she achieved something. Mikan then went to Narumi sensei and explained everything. He immediately understood and was transferred next to koko, Where Luna was And that went on even until ruka came back, Even he changed seats, He axchanged seats with Permy, When he was asked by Narumi, He told the same story Mikan told and Immediately complied with Ruka's request.
And because of the exchange of seats people created rumors some which were true and some were just sick and wrong. Mikan when looked at her seemed to be slimmer and duller. Not the usual happy-go-lucky brunette they know and love. And that worried the people who knew her situation and they too hate the cause of her change, pain and despair. Natsume Hyuuga. The cold-hearted jerk who broke Mikan's heart ~End of Flashback~ Do you do what you did when you did with me ~Flashback~ I wanted to know if I was special to him since when we were together I feel loved. He would smile for me when I was crying. Or maybe he is always like that when he is in a relationship, NO he has never been in a relationship. And I heard that people would always talk how sweet Natsume is to Luna. Did he treat us the same, The same treatment, Or did he get sweeter just for her? UGH! Did he love me because she is better than me? Prettier than me? Smarter than me? Better kisser? WHY? WHY? WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME? Did he forget ALL the promises we made to each other, All the plans we had after they get out of the academy. I know I haven't, Cause I know I will never. It hurts too bad. Maybe I should kill myself then he'll see my worth. I went to the bathtub I have in my bathroom. And hopped in, When I got in I slhashed the word " perfect" in my arm while singing friggin perfect by pink. After I did it I felt so light, All the pain I felt went away and I felt so happy I started to close my eyes and fell asleep, When I woke up I saw White walls, Whilte ceiling, I was in white clothes.
Does she love you the way I can
Did you Forget all the plans that you made with me
Cause Baby I didn't
It was already 1 month since I found out about Luna, And it still hurt like hell.
I started eating less since maybe I would look more beautiful and maybe, Natsume will come back to me again.
"Am I in heaven?" I asked
Just then someone hugged me, When I turned to see who it was I saw it was Hotaru. " Hotaru? Am I in the hospital? Why did you save me ?" I asked crying. I then suddenly felt a stinging sensation in my left cheek, When I touched it, I realized that Hotaru slapped me. When I looked at Hotaru she was shaking vigorously while sobbing. "MIKAW HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" Hotaru shouted at me "Hotaru…." I said " Mikan I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you, I am sorry, It's just that I couldn't see you like this, It hurt me too much, I am so sorry." Hotaru said hugging me tightly while crying uncontrollably. "Hotaru, I just couldn't take the pain anymore, I just couldn't I am sorry, I thought that if I tried to kill myself, Natsume would come back to me, But I bet he didn't even visit." I said while blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill. "He didn't cause I didn't tell him, Since I didn't want him to some back into your life knowing it will still hurt you even if comes back to you." Hotaru said and I nodded. "I will try to be strong from now on, I won't be strong for just me. I will be strong for You, Ruka-pyon, Anna, Nonoko, Koko, yuu, Permy, Mochu, And for everyone else who loves and cares for me." I said ~End of flashback~ That should be me, holding your hand MiKAN's POV
" WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE US WORRY, WHY DID YOU DO IT?" She shouted tome once again.
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me
That Should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
Till you believe
That, That should be me
Before I was the reason he smiled, he laughed, I was the one who made him happy, But I guess that was before, Or all the times he smiled and laughed was only an act to make me fall head over heels in love with him. For when he broke my heart he knew it would hurt.
I really do get sad when I think about it that everything that is happening to her should happen to me.
That should be me, Feeling your kisses , your love, the passion,Your teases, Everything!
I should be the one who gives you gifts for Christmas, birthdays, Mothsaried, Anniversaries. Every Occasion. But it's her who get's the privilege
Everything is so screwed up, upside down WRONG!
I won't give up on you, I'll keep loving you from a far, even though I know I'll only get hurt ~FLASHBACK~ MIKAN POV It was a week after I had fully recovered and got released out of the hospital, When I greeted everyone back at class they started running towards we and scolding me for what have I done but hugged me in the end. And said thank you that I was still alive. That day I decided to talk to Natsume. ~Sakura Tree~ I looked and saw that Natsume was all alone and Luna was nowhere in sight. "Natsume, Can we talk?" I asked him seriously "Hn. About what little girl?" He asked with a stoic expression "Why? Why did you hurt me Natsume, I just want to know your explanation after that, I will never talk to you or bother you ever again." I told him "I did it, because I got tired of you, Your attitude, All your mistakes, Everything about you annoyed me, So when Luna came, Her and I became closer and I grown a liking to her, that's that. "I see, So you found a replacement for me that fast?" I asked "Oh I see. Thank you for your time, Hyuuga-kun." I said while walking away ~Central town: Movie house I was on a girls bonding date with the girls obviously. When we entered we sat on the second to the last row. And I sat. to my right was Hotaru, and to my left was…. Luna and when I looked to who she was with I saw Natsume. I told Hotaru that and we immediately switched rows. It was always like this. I hear that he takes her to ALL the places he's brought me to. Is he dilibirately trying to shatter, crush, hurt break my heart into pieces? ~End of flashback!~
End of PoV
You said you needed a little time from my mistakes
It's funny how you use that time to have me replace
Do you think that I wouldn't see you out in the movies
What you doin' to me
Your taking her where we used to go
And if your trying to brake my heart
It's working cause you know
He just nodded
We watched a movie called Remember me
EVERYWHERE we went. We seem to end up seeing them.
If he is then IT IS WORKING!
Cause it hurts TOO much and SO much
I'll just try to look away
But my eyes always stay.
MIKAN's POV
After the song ended, I realized how much I hurt myself and ended up hurting others too. Now I know that I should let go of Natsume who is Now happy with Luna. Cause I know that Even if I cry millions of gallons of tears, He still wouldn't come back to me. I should have realized that a long time ago. Now I know whe something is not ment to be it just isn't. And you should just let it go.
I just hope someone will come and open my locked up heart. And I hope that he would be the one to make me a whole. The missing piece to the puzzle. The other half of my heart.
Someday that Hope will come true. Someday…
So until we meet again Goodbye – Mikan Sakura
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