Wilson's Bedtime Routine

Prompt: Always wondered what this'd be like

"I always wondered what this would be like!" Wilson yelled over the roar of the wind, his grip tightening on House's leather jacket.

"I'm sure you have," House replied. "Stop clutching me like a little girl!"

"I'm not clutching you, I just don't want to fall off!" Wilson said, tightening his grip once again as House sped up. It was almost midnight, and Wilson's curfew was, coincidentally enough, midnight. House had once again gotten him drunk and was now returning him to Amber.

She wouldn't be happy, but that was fine by him. Irritating Amber was his favorite hobby.

He parked his motorcycle in a handicap spot and they walked up to Amber's apartment, Wilson leaning on House and laughing at something involving garden gnomes. House pushed the door open and Wilson practically fell across the threshold.

"Honey, we're home," House said, smiling at the blonde who was looking quite murderous. "If he's impotent tonight, I could help," he suggested.

"Put him in bed," she said, pointing at Wilson. "And then get out."

"Hello, I'm a cripple."

"Don't care. Get to it."

House had quite a time dragging Wilson into he and Amber's shared bedroom, and then ushering him into his pajamas.

"I'm not tired, House," Wilson whined as House tried to push him into bed.

House pulled back the covers and pointed. "Get into bed."

"No!"

House grabbed his cane and jabbed Wilson in the chest, causing him to fall over onto the bed. "Go to sleep."

Wilson reached out and grabbed the sleeve of House's jacket and jerked him down. House toppled over Wilson's chest and just laid there for a second.

There was a sarcastic slow clap from the doorway. "Great show," Amber said, smirking. "At least you got him into bed."

House got to his feet. "That's me, Greg House, happy to serve," he muttered, glaring at Amber. "'Night, Wilson."

"'Night, House," Wilson replied from under a few pillows.

Amber walked House to the door. "Goodnight, House."

"Goodnight Cutthroat Bitch," he said cheerfully.

She rolled her eys and slammed the door in his face.