Happy April Fools, I hope everyone has a pranky day!
April Fools, Renji!
It began in the morning, before he even had a chance to wake from slumber.
Abarai Renji was jerked awake by the sudden sensation of a warm liquid pooling around his pelvic area. It took him a few seconds to fully come back to reality and comprehend the situation, but when he did, he realized with horror that he, Abarai Renji, 70+ year old shinigami and lieutenant of the gotei thirteen, had wet the bed.
He began to move, getting up so he could clean the mess and try to wash his urine-ridden futon, but then he felt another warm sensation engulfing his right hand. Jerking his head to the right, Renji observed that his large hand was resting in a glass of water, warm water from what he could feel. Just beyond the glass, though, Renji's peripheral vision picked up a person stifling their giggles so they wouldn't be heard. His immediate instinct was to jump up and draw his sword, in case this was an enemy, but then his eyes made out who the person was in the light of the pre-dawn hours.
"You bitch!" he snarled, realizing that it was her, and that she had done this to him. Rukia allowed her control to break, bursting out into laughs and giggles as she observed him, sitting up now, and glaring at her angrily, the lower half of his futon drenched in pee.
"April Fools, Renji!" she called, giggling more at his flustered state. "Admit it, I got you!" Renji refused, simply furrowing his eyebrows and increasing the amount of poison in his glare.
"You made me wet myself!" he shouted. "And in bed no less! How did you even get in here!" He was furious, but Rukia just brushed it off, knowing he would get over it sooner or later.
"First of all, you might not want to scream that first part, and second, nii-sama has a key to the quarters of all the people in his squad." Renji, recognizing the truth in her words, forced himself to quiet down a bit before asking,
"And he just gave you the key to mine?" Rukia nodded as if it was an obvious fact.
"Yep."
"I fucking hate you," growled the redhead, standing up to commence cleaning his futon, while his companion rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner, knowing that even if he wanted to, he never could hate her even the slightest bit.
It continued when he reported in for work.
Renji trudged into his shared office, trying to erase from his mind the events of earlier, and was met with the sight of his stoic captain, hunched over his own desk doing paperwork. All was as usual, nothing was out of the ordinary.
That was, until the tattooed shinigami made his way over to his own desk, plopping down in the seat lazily. A loud noise akin to a fart filled the air, and Renji realized that he was sitting on something. At the sound, his captain's head had snapped up, directing towards him. Renji could only blush.
Then, Byakuya sighed, shaking his head and returning his attention to the stacks of paperwork littering his desk.
Renji nearly slammed the door of his workspace open as he departed the building for his break. Leaning right beside the doorway was his raven-haired friend, chuckling.
"Aprils Fools, Renji." Renji wanted to kill her. And he was pretty sure he would have if he didn't love her so much.
It went on even when he was training during his break.
Renji slashed his sword about in a clearing, moving wildly, and using the trees as dummies. Zabimaru extended and retracted, slicing through the trunks of trees with maximum precision.
At one point, Renji jumped high in the air so he could slice a branch off, and upon landing, what he met when he reached the ground was not solid earth, but a pile of unsteady leaves. He fell right through a fairly deep hole, landing right on his bottom and biting off a cry of pain.
And then, a head of raven hair popped into his now-limited and circular line of vision. She was was grinning madly at her repeat successes, obviously amused at his angry reactions, and Renji knew that she was going to say the words.
"April Fools, Renji."
Even when he left his place of work, it did not cease.
Renji, exhausted from both work and Rukia's antics, was leaving to go home. His captain had left prior, and he was to lock up and whatnot. Pushing the door of the office open, he was almost immediately assaulted with a gush of water being poured over his body, and a metal pail over his head.
"April Fools, Renji!" It was the fourth reiteration of those words by the small girl, and Renji had had enough. Grabbing the bucket off of his cranium, the male shinigami threw it to the ground with unbelievable force, storming off afterward without a word. Rukia, who had been in mid-laugh, stopped when she heard the sound of metal clanking against wood. The nest thing she knew Renji was stomping off, and Rukia's mood turned from amused to guilty as she realized that perhaps she had pushed it a little too far...
It ended on a hill overlooking the sunset.
"Renji...?" called Rukia, approaching her friend as he sat, boiling in anger. There was no response from the redhead. "I'm sorry..." she apologized, sitting down from behind and hugging him around the neck. He seemed to relax at her embrace, but still he said nothing. Then, she thought of something that would cheer him up.
"I love you," she stated truthfully, tightening her grip. There were a few more seconds of silence, and then Rukia felt Renji break himself from her arms, as he whipped around and pulled her into his lap. It was done all in one fluid motion, and it wasn't until Rukia looked up into his face that she saw that he was...smiling mischievously, and looking down at her with a sense of smug satisfaction.
"April Fools, Rukia." It was then that the small girl realized his act, and her eyebrows met in anger. That bastard! But before she could voice her complaints, he cut her off with his lips. It was chaste and short, and upon pulling back, Renji smirked, showing teeth, and he couldn't help but chuckle at her flustered appearance.
"By the way," he piped up, cutting her off again, "I love you too."
END
Yeah, I really don't know what to think of this...I just kinda typed it up without thinking because I needed a fic for April Fools Day. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Tite Kubo owns Bleach, I do not, and all comments and opinions are welcome and loved!