A/N: Welcome, one and all, to my first Dark Knight fanfic! so, i'd started on this a while ago and I was on a roll with the first chapter but then I ran out of ideas. it's all coming back to me now and i hope you enjoy this story. i just have to say...i know the Joker's real partner in crime is supposed to be Harley, but i couldn't resist this one. i hope i can keep everyone up to character in this. i have the movie now, so i can refer to that when i need to. i write this in honor of Heath Ledger. Rest in Peace, Heath. We love and miss you.

Chapter 1: A Night on the Town

"Evening, nurse," he grinned, licking his lips as she entered the cell, shutting the door behind her. He was sitting against the wall, his long legs outstretched and hands together in his lap.

"Mr. Joker," she nodded, holding the clipboard up to see it properly. "How are we feeling today?"

"Oh, we're feeling just dandy," he grinned again.

"Good," the nurse nodded, writing something on the clipboard. "Good."

He licked his lips and clapped his mouth, bored out of his mind as the nurse did her usual stand-around-to-drive-the-inmate-a-little-crazier routine. He swallowed and gazed around his room that he'd been in a little too long then back at the nurse who finally looked up at him.

"Did we take our pill today?" she asked like a mother reprimanding her child.

I hated my mother, he thought with a slight grimace then grinned at the nurse.

"No, we didn't," he replied, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders.

"That's no good, Mr. Joker," the nurse tisked, shaking her head and writing in her clipboard. "We need to take our pills, or we won't get better."

"Uh, can I ask you something?" he wondered, raising his hand high. The nurse frowned then nodded and he put his hand back down. "When you say 'we,' do you mean all the inmates, just you and me or just me?"

"Just you, Mr. Joker," the nurse replied.

"Oh, ok," he nodded and clapped his hands before rubbing them together several times, very quickly. "So what's on the agenda for us today?"

"Well, I doubt you'll want to talk," the nurse replied. "I'm tired of trying to get you to."

"If you insist, I'll talk," he grinned and the nurse looked up at him in surprise then became stoic again.

"Alright," she nodded and grabbed the chair across the room and sat down several feet from him. "What would you like to say?"

Joker gazed at the ceiling then scooted forward a bit and moved himself to sit Indian style then slouched forward and said, "I'd like to tell you…how I got these scars.

"See…my mother abused drugs, and one night, she went berserk from taking too much of her pain killers. She…runs to the kitchen, shouting 'I can't take this anymore!' and grabs a knife. I go running toward her saying, 'Mommy, mommy! Don't do it!' And she looks at me and says, 'I'm sick of you holding me back.' She slashes the knife at my little head, and, well…you can see what happened." He gestured to the scars then sat back, stretching his legs out again then said, "That's why I---we won't take our pills. That's what my mom used to use to get high and I'd rather not go down that road. I wouldn't wanna go bonkers on you and scar up your pretty face."

"And your mother," the nurse continued, ignoring his leer, "did she hurt herself?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded. "She slit her wrists."

"And that was when you had your psychotic break?" she asked, writing on her clipboard.

"Mm, no," he replied, shaking his head and smacking his lips. "Nope. I had my psychotic break when my wife left me."

The nurse frowned and looked up at him from her clipboard to ask, "You were married?"

He nodded, as if it were nothing then cocked his head a bit to the side as he leered at her again and murmured, "She was beautiful…" He leaned forward a bit. "…like you."

The nurse swallowed and leaned back a bit in her chair. He could tell, she was unnerved and it made him grin. In one quick motion, he was up on his knees and right in front of her, his hands gripping the arms of the chair she was in. She gasped when his face of white, red and black make-up came within inches of hers and he just stared at her.

"She never smiled," he grinned and smacked his lips. "You know, you haven't smiled since we met."

The nurse frowned at him in confused horror and he scoffed.

"I mean, you come in here, you write in your little clipboard, ask me if I've taken my pill, ask me if I wanna talk and then you leave and go talk to your friends and supervisor about me. But…you always do it with a stoic, emotionless, expression. Not once have you ever smiled at me, and I was just wondering if…this one time…you could, just a little? See, then, you wouldn't remind me so much of my wife."

Joker licked his lips as she started to tremble, her breath coming short and he could see the terror in her eyes.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," he assured her with a quick smile and she gave a slight frown but still trembled. "I just wanna see if you can smile, just once…for us?"

The nurse still trembled and swallowed then nodded shortly and gave a fake, cheesy grin. Joker frowned and cocked his head to one side as she continued smiling and he groaned as he shoved away from her.

"No, no, no," he chanted and ran a hand through his poorly died green hair as he started to pace. He turned back to her and slapped a hand to his thigh. "That's not a smile!" He grinned, genuinely and pointed at his face as he said, "This is a smile! You're just sitting there quacking in your heels!" He strode back toward her and she jumped when he leaned on the arms of her chair again. "Now, why don't we try something here? If I tell you a joke, would you laugh if you thought it was funny?"

The nurse swallowed and nodded, letting her false smile drop again.

"Good," he nodded and shifted on his feet as he looked at the ceiling in thought. "Now, what would you like to hear? A Knock-Knock joke?"

The nurse nodded again, tense beyond belief with fright.

"Ok…Knock, knock."

"H-Who's there?" she trembled.

He gazed at the ceiling in thought then back at the nurse and said, "Ka."

The nurse frowned but replied, "Ka, who?"

"Ka-Boom!"

He laughed maniacally when she jumped and shoved away from her chair, jumping around the room, still laughing. The nurse took that opportunity to run to the door and hurriedly closed and locked it behind her on her way out. Joker immediately ceased his laughing and looked around the room with a frown.

"Hey!" he called, walking toward the door and pressing his nose against the tiny window in the door. "You were supposed to smile for me!"

He started laughing again until he was sure he would die doing it. He slowed his laughing eventually as he slunk down to the floor and sighed as he looked around the room.

"Well, just another day in paradise," he sighed and reached into the breast pocket of his vest he'd made himself to pull out his deck of cards, pulled out the jokers and examined them. "Hello my fine, funny friend."

Two weeks later...

"You sure you wanna go out tonight, Tara?" she wondered with a scrunched nose. "I mean, the Batman's gone evil and didn't you hear the Joker's out again?! It's not a good night to go clubbing."

"It's never a good night to go clubbing, Caroline," Tara smirked back, rummaging through her purse as she stood at the door of their small apartment. "Hell, it's not safe to go out for groceries anymore."

She found her keys and flipped a brunette curl from her face as her emerald eyes landed on the knob to grip it and walk out.

"So what do I tell the cops if you go missing?" Caroline smirked, sitting on the couch and Tara looked back at her with a smirk of her own.

"Just tell 'em I got so drunk I must've forgot to call," she replied, walking out the door. "I'll probably be in Costa Rica with a Latin hottie!"

Caroline laughed as Tara shut the door and headed down the hall then down the stairs to the door to the building. She threw her keys in her purse and pulled out her cell phone to dial a number into it. She hit send and put it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nat, I'm on my way."

"Awesome! See ya here."

"Yeah."

She hung up and put her phone away then hailed a taxi. When one pulled up she got into the back and sighed, rummaging through her purse once again.

"Where to, sweet cheeks?" the driver asked, gazing into the rearview mirror at her and smacking his lips but she only stared into her compact, applying some make up.

"Call me sweet cheeks again and I'll kick your ass, bud," she snapped, still not looking at him.

"Ooh, got a little fight in ya," the driver chuckled and Tara froze when she heard a cocking sound. She looked up slowly and jerked her arms down, shoving herself further back into her seat when she came face to face with the barrel of a gun. Her heart raced in panic and she heard the doors lock and the driver moved to take off his hat. She sucked wind when she realized who was now holding her hostage.

The white face, black around the eyes, red on the lips with scars that made a nasty grin and head of green hair died with washout crap that comes off within hours. He grinned evilly, showing off yellow teeth and her breath quickened in panic.

"I like a girl with a little fight in her," he grinned on and laughed that sinister laugh of his. Her panic suddenly turned to calm and she crossed her arms with a cocky smirk. Seeing this he frowned at her in confusion, but said nothing else and kept the gun pointed at her face.

"So, you're the Joker," she mused.

"Uh, yeah," he replied, still confused at her calm.

"Always thought you were…taller," she explained and his frown deepened as he gazed around in thought.

"Well, it's kinda dark, and I am sitting," he replied.

"So what do you think you'll accomplish by kidnapping an innocent civilian like me?" she wondered with a shrug. "I'm not important."

"Oh, but you see, that's the point," he grinned, shifting to lean over the partition and still pointing the gun in her face. "I can have a little fun with someone unimportant, whereas someone important would have to be held up for ransom before I even get to have a nice card game with him…or her."

"Oh, I see," Tara nodded and Joker's frown returned. "And someone unimportant doesn't go unnoticed until someone equally unimportant realizes they're missing. And by that time, you've already gotten what you wanted out of them so you might as well get rid of them, right?"

He looked at her for a moment with that frown. He was trying to figure out how a girl who'd been shaking with a fear a few seconds ago was now matching wits with him over hostages. It intrigued him. So much so that he had a laughable idea that would probably end badly, but he had to try anyway. Where's the fun in not trying?

He pulled the gun from her face and sat back in his seat again, but still stared at her. Now she had a frown over her brow. He waved the gun at her to sit in front of the cab with him and she glanced out the door then back at him.

"Seriously?" she chuckled. "You want me to get out of the car and sit up front with you?"

"Yeah," he nodded, smacking his lips again.

"How do you know I want run off as soon as I get out?" she smirked. That earned the gun being pointed at her again, but she didn't move.

"If you do that I'll blow your brains out through the window," he replied, wondering if she'd show even the slightest amount of fear at his threat. She only shrugged moved to get out of the cab but realized it was locked and sat back again. He frowned at her and she waved toward the lock.

"Oh, yeah," he remembered with a nod and unlocked the doors then turned right back to pointing the gun at her. She rolled her eyes and got out of the cab then got back in on the front passenger's side. Joker frowned at her the whole way but pointed the gun at her when she got back in and shut the door.

"Well, stud," she sighed, buckling her seat belt, "let's get this show on the road, huh?"

He frowned at her, unable to understand why she was so calm. Did she not understand what was happening? Was she mentally challenged or something? He couldn't figure this out.

"You realize you're being kidnapped," he explained and she nodded with an affirmative noise.

He glanced at her as he turned to start the cab again and drove wildly out of the parking space he was in and into the street. He weaved in and out of traffic, honking randomly at the cars and drivers around him then waving at them like the lunatic he was as he drove passed them. Tara sighed as she looked out her window and he glanced at her a few times to see if she'd even freak out a little.

"Oh, I'm Tara, by the way," she suddenly said and he looked at her in surprise as she looked back at him. "I just figured you'd wanna know who it is you're kidnapping."

He said nothing and she shrugged as he suddenly turned into oncoming traffic. She jerked herself back into her seat, her hands gripping the sides until her knuckles turned white. This made him grin. At least he'd gotten something out of her. If she wasn't any fun he was gonna throw her into traffic.

"Ooh! I have an idea!" he smiled and leaned over to kick out the plastic partition as cars sped around the cab to avoid it. Tara frowned as she looked at him and leaned over to pull something from the floor. He held up a shoe with a brick in it to show it to her.

"I'm putting my foot down!" he growled comically then laughed as he placed the shoe on the gas and leaned toward her. "Now you just stay right where you are…" He gripped one of her hands and placed it on the steering wheel. "…and drive for me, won't you?"

Joker laughed maniacally as he climbed into the back seat and Tara held fast to the steering wheel, looking outside to navigate. He rolled down the window and hung himself out the window as Tara jerked the wheel to the left to avoid a van coming at them. He nearly came out of the cab but caught himself and leaned his head in to speak to her.

"Try not to kill me, alright, Turtledove?" he requested then laughed again as he hung out the window again and aimed his gun at the cars passing by. He took a shot at one and hit the tire then watched as the car spun out of control and hit more cars in front of it. He laughed again and clapped his hands giddily as a great ball of fire shot up into the sky then pulled his head back in and climbed into the front seat again, smacking Tara's hands away.

"Ok, my turn!" he said and sat himself in the driver's seat, kicking the shoe with the brick in it away to hit the gas himself. He leaned over to Tara and grinned, "We having fun yet?!"

Laughing as he did, he yanked the steering wheel to one side, sending the car into a spin. Tara screamed as the car still spun, seemingly out of control and Joker kept on laughing. It was all fun and games.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Tara warned and he looked at with a grin then yanked the steering wheel forward again, letting his foot off the gas.

He leaned toward her and grinned, "Good!"

Hitting the gas again he sped with traffic this time and Tara started feeling light headed. She passed out to the sound of the Joker's maniac laughter and passing bright lights of cars and traffic lights.

A/N: so the scene after Rachel dies and Harvey's all charred and the Joker is in the back of the squad car hangin his head out the window, i was wondering how he was doing that because the car was weaving all over the place and he was in the back seat. i Lau was with him and probably driving, but i thought this was a better explanation, and very Joker-esk. lol! so, how is it so far? reviews?