Chapter 1:

Chapter 1: Surprised

I couldn't tell if this was a disaster or something to celebrate. First of all, Edward and I were getting married. That was the greatest thing that I could ever imagine possible and to make things even better, soon after that, I would become a vampire. But why did everything feel like a disaster? I kept asking myself this question in my head although I already knew the answer: Jacob Black.

I couldn't stop worrying that one of the two people I had ever loved had run away. I hated myself for even thinking that I could choose one over the other. I knew that I loved Jacob; I knew that Edward was being more responsible. But then again, he had gained a lot more wisdom over his never-ending teenaged life.

I called Billy Black everyday. He kept telling me that Jacob was fine but he wasn't planning on coming back almost daily and finally, he stopped answering the phone to my calls. The thing that worried me the most was that he wasn't the only werewolf in the world and not all of them were good like the Quileutes. But this wasn't the only thing that was bothering me.

Another problem with this was Charlie's reaction of the wedding. He was extremely quiet when I told him that we were getting married but I knew that inside, he was outraged. When I told Rene over the phone, she was quiet and barely spoke but I knew that if I wanted to become a vampire, I would have to make a few sacrifices and do everything in order.

There was also the problem with Mike. When Edward gave Mike an invitation, Mike stopped talking to me completely. I knew that he would be hurt but I hoped that he would have had the sense to come and tell me that he had a problem with this so we could resolve everything but, just like Billy, he stopped answering the phone to me.

Mike had also changed his shift at work so that I wasn't working with him at the same time at all. This was a problem because Mike was my only entertainment at work and now I was bored to death when I went to work.

Although I was mourning about the loss of my friends and loss of respect from my family, my future in-law family was overjoyed and celebrating the next step in Edward and my relationship. As usual Alice went overboard with the decorations and had the Cullen house crowded with decorations. Pink and white flowers were scattered everywhere and I could barely move when inside the house.

Carlisle and Esme were extremely happy that their "son" was getting married finally, after 100 years of being by himself. Even Emmett and Rosalie seemed to be happy that there was going to be a new vampire in the family soon. But I was still worried sick about becoming a vampire. It wasn't until recently that I started having the dreams.

They started out just like when Edward left before and every night I would wake up screaming. I knew that the source of these dreams was important parts of me leaving. The dream would start out with me running and searching for Jacob.

I would shout out his name as loud as I could and finally I would see Edward. He would be standing there as if he was in the same dream (though I knew that he never really did dream) and suddenly, as if responding to my shouts, Jacob would appear behind Edward in the form of a large wolf that I was very familiar with. But the wolf always did something that caused me to wake up screaming.

He would smile, (or so I thought so) and jump behind Edward and Edward would be lying there dead and I would hear the mocking voice of Jacob's voice.

"Bella? If you really loved me, why did you marry the bloodsucker and leave me out like a leftover? How could you love someone who leaves you in a depression for more than half of a year and then marry him and leave your best friend in the dark?"

I would try and speak but the words wouldn't come out and I started to scream, as if assuring myself that I was still alive, and finally, I would wake up to see Edward there to comfort me.

"Bella," Edward asked in a comforting and soft voice. I wasn't sure if it was so quiet just to comfort me or to not wake up Charlie.

"Edward. You died. You were attacked by Jacob. How can you be here? Am I dead," I gasped trying to inhale as much oxygen as possible.

"You were just having a bad dream. Don't worry Bella. You're fine but if you keep screaming like that, you will wake up Charlie."

I sighed in relief. It was just a bad dream. I was safe. I knew that this dream that I was seeing was my worst fear. I would not be able to live with myself knowing that one of the people I loved was killed because of a fight over me. The scariest part was that this dream was also very possible.

"What time is it," I asked him and I could hear the fear that was in my voice.

"It's 7:30 in the morning."

I was actually surprised. I usually woke up screaming in the middle of the night and not so early. I thought about the dream for about an hour and Edward sat quietly by my window, not making a sound.

I got out of bed and got changed. Then I remembered that it was Saturday and I was supposed to have a sleepover with Alice at the Cullen house. I had no idea how and where I was supposed to sleep. The rooms were all crowded and Alice never let me go to sleep until almost 3:00 in the morning.

I opened the door to my room quietly so that I wouldn't wake Charlie and saw Edward in the same place that he was in before I left. I told him that I wanted to leave now to his house and I wrote a note for Charlie.

I wrote the note for Charlie because I avoided talking to him as much as possible now that I had told him that Edward and I were getting married. I couldn't seem to have any real conversations with him anymore because of the awkwardness.

I was looking for Edward's Volvo when I realized that it wasn't there. It was strange for Edward to not bring the Volvo to the driveway in case Charlie woke and saw us leaving.

"Are we taking my truck," I asked him

"No."

"Then how are we getting to your house?"

"We are going to take the motorbikes," he said with a mysterious tone in his voice.

I had no idea how I was supposed to live through driving my motorbike again and I had many reasons for not wanting to do it. The first thing was that it reminded me too much of Jacob. To ride the bikes now would make me feel like I had betrayed an already broken heart. The second reason was that Charlie would kill me.

"What about Charlie?"

"I talked to him yesterday while you were making dinner and I asked him about the motorbikes. He argued for a long time but finally, he gave in on the condition that if we crash or if anything happens, he can hold me responsible and we can never try it again."

I was taken completely by surprise. Charlie would have never let me ride the motorbikes before so I knew automatically that he was planning something. I grabbed my jacket and hopped on my bike.

Memories of riding the bikes with Jacob were flashing through my eyes so fast that I couldn't keep up. I heard the laugh of the Jacob I had befriended when Edward left and I almost started to cry. But the pain was beyond tears.

Just like before, I started to clutch my stomach as if to fill in a hole. I knew that this was going be too hard to ever recover properly but I had Edward here and he was my painkiller.

He waited for me for a few minutes and constantly asked me if I was able to do this. I kept nodding to say yes although I wasn't and he knew that I was lying. Finally, I was able to go and the memories stopped flashing through me. We left with loud rumble of the engines and drove to Edward's house.

Alice was waiting for me at the door. She hugged me after she let me in and I grimaced at all of the decorations in the house. I groaned.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I think you went a little- no- way overboard with the decorations for the wedding. It's not even going on for another 6 months."

She just smiled and brought us upstairs. Edward told me that he needed to go hunting today with Jasper and Carlisle so we were left alone with the occasional visit from Rosalie. Eventually, the topic of Mike came up and I wanted to scream.

"Have you talked to him yet?"

I didn't answer. This was beginning to eat me alive.

"I think that you should talk to Mike and tell him that you're sorry that he feels this way about you and ask him to try and understand."

"Don't you think I've tried that Alice?"

"Yeah but-"

The door burst open and Carlisle was at the door with the phone. Relief rushed through my body until I realized that the person who was on the phone for me was Charlie. I grabbed the phone and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Bella I think you need to come over here because I have some good news," went the sound of Charlie's voice.

"Umm… Ok. I'll be over in a few minutes and thank you for letting Edward and I drive the motorbikes here."

I knew that it probably wouldn't happen but I was almost positive that this was news about Jacob. I had a feeling that, maybe, he was back. I hopped on my motorcycle and drove back to the house. I parked the bike in front of the house and knocked on the door.

Charlie answered the door and I sat down on the couch, ready for the worst. He walked back to the kitchen and came back into the living room with someone who I hadn't seen since before the Cullens and the werewolves killed all of the newborns and Victoria.

Sadly, it was not Jacob. He was the person I was hoping to see but it was not but I still had to smile when I saw that Rene was standing right in front of me in the living room.

"Mom!"

"Bella," Rene screamed as she walked forward to hug me. I was thrilled that she was here but I still had wonder why.

"Where is Phill?"

"He is traveling still but I went back to Phoenix for a few days and wanted to come and visit you."

"How long are you staying?"

"Until the wedding!"

This was too much for me to handle. I almost fainted when she said this because it was great but also devastating. If she was going to be staying at with us at Charlie's house that would mean that everything would be extremely awkward for 6 months. But it was amazing because it meant that Rene had accepted and embraced the fact that I was going to be married to Edward.

"What," I shouted with a louder voice than usual.

"I'm staying here so I can meet your new family and so I can get to know Edward more."

"What about Phill?"

"He said that he was okay with it and that he was going to be staying in a hotel in Seattle for a little while when the wedding is close."

This took me completely by surprise. I wanted to be happy but I was still quite miserable about Jacob and Mike that I would never be able to have time to mourn with Rene here.

I sat down and talked with Rene while Charlie made dinner. He was getting better at this now with some help from me. Later, Alice showed up at the house and brought my bag back to the house. I was almost glad that Rene stopped me from going to the sleepover. I got up too early today and I would never last more than 11:00 at night with Alice at a sleepover.

Rene was sleeping in my room. That was going to be the toughest thing for me because I wouldn't be able to talk to Edward when he "left" to go back home. I called Jacob's house and once again, nobody answered the phone so instead I called Alice and told her to tell Edward when he got back from hunting that he wouldn't be able to come over at night anymore.

I knew that with Rene here, something was probably going on that she just didn't want to tell me about. And the odds of that being good news were one in a million. I was wondering if it had to do with Billy and her getting into a fight or something but I didn't want to spoil the moment tonight.

Tonight was a good night and I didn't want to ruin it but until I could talk to Jacob and Mike again, nothing could make me truly happy.

It was the middle of the night again when I woke up screaming. But tonight, there was a big difference in the dream. Instead of Jacob killing Edward, Edward killed Jacob and even after I was awakened by Rene, I kept crying and screaming. I had no idea how I could possibly end these dreams because now, there was no way that I would be able to do things that would give me a feeling of adrenaline anymore. Edward would never allow me to risk my life.

But I knew someone who would and would even do it with me.

Someone who would want me to have more fun in my life and never even know that I was only doing it to hear Jacob's voice… Someone like Alice.

I couldn't believe that I didn't think of it before. Alice would be able to predict whether or not our stunts would be successful and if we would hurt ourselves. She would be the only person in the world who would do that with me but there was still a problem.

Finally, as if coming back to Earth, I stopped screaming and apologized top Rene for waking her. I told her that these happened often and that she shouldn't sleep in the same room as me because it happened too often.

She gladly left my room and finally, I went back to sleep after deep thought but the problem was that Edward would be able to read Alice's mind. Of course, there was another option that I was ignoring as an option for obvious reasons.

My only question was: should I try to talk to him?

Mike would do this for me if I asked him to but, unlike Alice, he had limitations. Mike would be a great, unexpected choice that Edward would never suspect. And Mike threw up at horror movies before. This was perfect.

I finally fell asleep and I knew that in the morning; it would be time to finally talk to Mike.