South Park Reacts

Krys723

SUMMARY: South Park teens react to pop culture. Takes inspiration from The Fine Bros.

A/N: Hey guys, I know this seems random, but I used to do this a long time ago back when I was super into The Boondocks so I thought it would be fun to do this again with South Park. If you want to vote on a topic, then leave me suggestions via either Tumblr (username: KrisSimsters) or in the review box. This will come out every weekend (hopefully if time permits).

P.S.: I'm the announcer jic.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK NOR DO I OWN THE REACT SERIES. They belong to Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and The Fine Bros. respectively. THE K-POP DOESN'T BELONG TO ME EITHER!

TODAY'S CAST:

-Stan Marsh, 15

-Kyle Broflovski, 15

-Eric "Cartman" Cartman, 15

-Kenny McCormick, 15

-Butters Scotch, 15

-Craig Tucker, 15

-Clyde Donovan, 15

-Token Black, 15

-Tweek Tweak, 15

DATE: SATURDAY, JANUARY 2ND

TIME: 11:35 A.M.

EPISODE ONE: NEW YEAR & K-POP

SOUTH PARK REACTS

Hello, welcome to the first ever South Park React.

Stan: I don't even remember signing up for this.

Cartman: Why did Butters sign me up for this shit?

Kenny: YouTube videos like these means I'll get a lot of pussy.

Let's try and keep things PG-13, shall we?

Craig: *Sticks up middle finger*

First things first, how was your New Year's Eve?

Kyle: It was fine, we had a party Thursday night.

Cartman: It was killer, our parents were out of town. The hippie's house was destroyed by the end of the night.

Stan: I spent all day, yesterday cleaning. I had a hangover.

Kenny: Stan got fucking drunk off his ass, it was hilarious.

Clyde: I stayed with a friend and we watched movies. I didn't really feel like partying this year.

Butters: Well, gosh are my parents going to see this? I don't want them to know I snuck out, I might get grounded.

Tweek: GAH! C-C-Craig and I played video games at my house. NGH! My parents were out of town.

Token: I got a black eye.

Kyle: It would have been better, but Stan got in a fight with Token.

Cartman: That fucking hippie always forgets that he and Wendy fucking broke up with Wendy. It always happens whenever his ass gets wasted.

Stan: I mean, I don't even remember punching Token. Oh, well that was in 2015.

Kenny: I had to sneak Butters out of his house. His parents keeps him locked away for no fucking reason. That's why he's "best friends" with me.

Craig: That fucking perv is dating Butters Scotch. I would say good for me, but he still hits on me in English Lit.

Kenny: I love messing with Craig, its our dynamic. He's dating Tweek, you know.

Token: Kenny hits on all of us, he's called the South Park Perv for a reason. I feel sorry for Butters.

Kyle: I think Kenny and Butters have had sex at least once.

So who did you kiss at midnight?

Stan: Kyle and I kissed Cartman on the cheek and then we made out with each other.

Cartman: Those fucking fags kissed me on the cheek.

Token: I kissed Wendy. We've been dating for two years now.

Craig: I kissed Tweek, then the asshole "accidentally" punches me in the nose.

Tweek: I-I-I thought I was attacked! Craig knows I'm sorry. GAH!

Kenny: I made out with Butters. We've been dating for six months, his parents think I'm a bad influence. I want them to keep thinking that.

Clyde: I kissed somebody and then we went back to watching movies.

Cartman: Clyde kissed that fucking Star Wars nerd. Everybody knows he's been trying to date him ever since 7TH Grade.

Why don't you like him?

Cartman: Fucking Star Wars nerds think they fucking know everything. 'Ohh, we got a new movie out and its fucking awesome,' its not nothing more than a fucking rehash of the first Star Wars movie that came out.

Kyle: Kevin Stoley isn't a bad person, Cartman just hates him because he kept screwing up our games when we were kids.

Stan: Cartman hates everybody though. We just have to learn to accept it.

Craig: He likes space, he's cool with me.

Clyde: *Puts his head on the table* Privacy doesn't mean shit in this mountain town.

—REACT—

What do you know about K-Pop?

Kyle: Its Korean Pop music.

Butters: I like K-Pop.

Cartman: K-Pop is gay. Mostly girls like that shit that's why its so popular here.

What if I showed you some K-Pop MVs?

Cartman: How about I kick you in the nuts.

You can't kick a woman in the nuts.

Cartman: Fuck you, bitch.

Kenny: Women in K-Pop are kinda sexy, they don't have huge asses and boobs, but they dress in cute outfits and have padding on their boobs.

I'm going to show you three K-Pops MVs and at the end I'll ask you your opinion of them.

First K-Pop MV: EXID-Hot Pink.

(You. I like the way you pink it.

You. I like the way you pink it.)

Kyle: What does "pink it" mean?

Clyde: This is kinda sexy.

Token: Is she rapping in Korean.

(Push, push work it out.

Never stop it girl, work it out)

Stan: What does that mean?

Kyle: The grammar is weird.

Kenny: Is she in a tub filled with pink goop? That's kinda hot.

Butters: Are my parents going to see me watching this? Oh, hamburgers. I'm going to get grounded again.

Second K-Pop MV: IU-Twenty-Three

(I'm twenty-three, I'm a riddle

Question? Try to guess the answer)

Craig: What the fuck is this shit?

Kenny: Is she really twenty-three or is this jailbait?

Tweek: GAH! This is weird!

Stan: The dance is cute. Its not like the other group's dance though, its creepier not as sexy.

Cartman: Why is she drinking out of a baby bottle? She's gotta be at least sixteen. That sounds like something Butters would do.

Butters: I like it!

Final K-Pop MV: 4Minute-Crazy

(I'm the female monster!)

Clyde: Whoa.

Kenny: Awesome.

Kyle: Damn, dude.

(Everybody let's get crazy right now, leggo!)

Stan: Holy shit, dude.

Tweek: GAH! Why is it in black and white?

Token: This is the best one.

Kenny: I like HyunA.

How do you know that's HyunA.

Kenny: I can read her hat.

Cartman: I guess this isn't as bad as that second one, that second one sucked.

—QUESTION TIME—

So what did you think about them?

Cartman: I still hate K-Pop but that third one was kinda nice.

Kenny: The things I could do to that third one.

PG-13 please!

Stan: That second one kinda creeped me out. How old is she, dude?

In Korea, she's 23 but here in America, she's 22.

Stan: Dude!

Token: She acts like she's twelve in the MV.

Craig: That doesn't sit right with me.

IU caused a controversy with this MV because she used a Lolita concept. Lolita means acting cuter than your age, which is why she was acting like she was twelve when she's actually older than that. IU isn't the first girl to do this in K-Pop though, other girl groups such as Girls' Generation, Lovelyz, and G-Friend have also used the concept of acting younger than they really are.

Kyle: Dude.

Kenny: That's kinda weird.

Token: Do all groups do that?

Not all girl groups, but some have used this concept at least once since their debut.

Butters: I liked it.

So would you get into K-Pop now that I've exposed you to some of it?

Butters: I already like K-Pop.

Cartman: Fuck no, I fucking hate K-Pop.

Stan: Nah, I'm good.

Kyle: No, dude.

Craig: Fuck no.

Token: Maybe, depends if the radio keeps on sucking.

Tweek: GAH! Too much pressure!

Clyde: I liked that third one a lot, I might get into them.

Kenny: Butters likes it so I'm sure I'll probably grow to tolerate it.

A/N:

Kenny: This was the first episode of South Park Reacts!

Stan: We'll probably be doing these things every weekend so be sure to review, favorite, and follow!

Kyle: And remember if you have a specific topic you want us to cover, then be sure to either let us know in the review box or tell the OP on her Tumblr page (KrisSimsters) via ask or reblog her whenever each episode comes out.

Cartman: More of these assholes will be coming in and out, hopefully this rotation will change with each episode. Maybe I won't have to be with this Jewrat all the time.

Kyle: SHUT YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE CARTMAN!

Cartman: AY! FUCK YOU JEW!

Craig: *Sighs* Leave three reviews if you want this shit to continue…but do you really want it to?