So, to get payback for having to deal with a hyperactive Shoyo Hinata, and not wanting to deal with an over excited Bokuto or Kuuro, Tsukishima went for the next best thing. The idiot who should have taken care of Hinata to begin with. However, he never expected this outcome.
"Kiyoko-San! You are very pretty! Can I try on your glasses?!"
The tall blonde stood to the side with Kageyama's 'tainted' water bottle in his hand and a poorly contained laugh in his mouth. He watched as the raven stood in Kiyoko's face and yelled random things to her, the third year clearly uncomfortable. Especially when Kageyama shakily took the girl's glasses from her face to put on his own... upside down.
It was really hard not to laugh.
"Why does he seem drunk? You only gave him energy drink, right Tsuki?"
Tsukishima nodded, desperately trying not to laugh. Yamaguchi hummed beside him, trying to figure out how a sugar overdoes turns into alcohol consumption. Meanwhile, the ginger not far from him stared at him with horrified wide eyes.
"You gave him energy drink?! But..."
He trailed, gaze flicking to Kageyama then back again. His loud voice also gaining the attention of the blonde, already angry, coach.
"I had heard stories but... This is ridiculous..."
Yamaguchi looked past his tall friend to stare at Hinata. His curiosity taking over his interest in Kageyama's reaction to the beverage.
"What do you mean Hinata?"
Hinata looked at the freckled teen, clearly unsettled.
"I spoke to Kindaichi a little while ago and, I don't remember how the topic came up but, he said he gave Kageyama energy drink in Middle school, and he reacted like he was drunk. He even sang to a girl a year below him about her hair."
Kageyama in the meantime sauntered over to Yachi, grabbing her hands in a light squeeze.
"I really like you Yachi-San! Like a Shoyo likes her pork buns!"
Tsukishima finally burst. His laughter filling the gym over the top of Kageyama's incoherent ramblings. Yamaguchi sighed, not prepared for any of this today. Then, Ukai stomped over with agitation, entirely agreeing with Yamaguchi.
"Since you did this, you take care of him Tsukishima."
What...?
"No matter what you might think, I'm not stupid. I know you're questioning me right now, and I don't care. You caused it, you take care of it."
"But, what about last time?!"
He doesn't get to finish yelling before Ukai cuts him off. The aura around the coach screaming dominance and authority.
"Do you really think I was going to leave Hinata with the two who caused his sugar overdrive? Especially considering who it was and what they had planned?"
Tsukishima sighed. He was defeated. Hinata nodded beside him, like he completely agrees with his elder. Which, to be honest, is probably true. He knows Hinata never wants a repeat of that time, because neither does he.
Kageyama stumbled across the gym to stand opposite Yamaguchi. His brows furrowed in thought as he scrutinized the other.
"W-What is it?"
"I bet you can float because you have freckles."
"Eh?!"
Hinata squawks in disbelief as Tsukishima goes to laugh again. The simple mind of the teams setter entertaining him for once. Ukai looked like he was thinking about something, before he turned to Hinata.
"Hinata, just to make sure Tsukishima doesn't torment Kageyama, you'll join them."
Hinata goes to protest, saying he needs more practice, but he silently nods instead from the look Ukai sends him. Then Kageyama's walking out of the gym. Well, stumbling out of the gym.
"Let's go, let's go, let's go Dateko!"
Hinata shoots Tsukishima an angered look before running after his friend. Tsukishima sighs before chasing after the two, wondering to himself why he was tortured this way.
The three walked relatively silent. Slow in pace so the staggering Kageyama can keep up. Their plan is to get him some sleep, because Hinata said that's what drunk people do to sober up. Eat a slice of bread, drink water, then sleep. Tsukishima didn't know whether to listen to him or not but, he didn't exactly have a plan of his own. And at least this was something.
Not too far away from the kitchen, Hinata groans.
"Ugh, why do we have to miss practice?!"
"Cause Tsuki's a dick!"
Tsukishima glared at the raven for using his 'nickname'. He doesn't even like the nickname, so someone other than it's creator using it pisses him off. However, before he can retort, Hinata reprimands the 'drunkard'.
"Bakageyama, language!"
Kageyama stumbles a little before raising a hand to point a finger at Hinata.
"You're like a mother. But that's weird cause your cute like a kid. I know! You should be my little brother!"
Hinata squawks again.
"What are you talking about?! I'm older than you!"
"Oh, I guess you'd be my older brother then... No! Too cute!"
Kageyama flings himself at Hinata and hugs him tight, rubbing his cheek against ginger locks. Hinata whines in protest but doesn't push him off. He doesn't want to deal with a seemingly drunk emotional wreck of a friend. Meanwhile, Tsukishima is straight up laughing at the two.
"Kingy called you cute Shrimp. Guess he likes you more than you think."
He grins mischievously and, for once, Hinata understands pretty much straight away. Which makes him a little angry.
"Shut up Stingyshima! He's just drunk on sugar! Now help out your elder and get him off me!"
Sighing to himself, Tsukishima obliges for once and drags Kageyama off the ginger. Hinata sighs in relief before thanking Tsukishima. Then, Kageyama gasps in shock.
"You two?! Really?!"
Hinata raises a brow, as does Tsukishima.
"You two what?"
"TsukiHina is real..."
"Tsuki... Hina...?"
"It's ok, I won't tell anyone. But, I will say this. I ship it."
Kageyama says as he leans against Hinata, arm around his shoulders. He nods when he's done, acting like an understanding friend. Meanwhile, Hinata has finally clicked, and brightened into a shocking red.
"B-B-Bakegeyama! We are not!"
Kageyama freezes before slowly detaching himself from Hinata. Tsukishima, also having figured it out, nods in agreement. His face scrunched slightly in disgust. Why did he do this again? What kind of revenge is this?
"But, my ship..."
"Eeeewwww! Kageyama no! That is not, just NO!"
Hinata complains in distress before storming off in incoherent mumbles of disgust and anger. Kageyama looks slightly depressed as Tsukishima forcefully pushes him towards the kitchen for his bread and water. The blonde himself in complete regret of ever causing this.
After Kageyama has messily eaten his bread, successfully dropping a few slices on the floor before grabbing the final piece, they give him a glass of water to drink. Then, another problem arises. He needs a pee. Or, as he worded it, 'he wants to piss up the wall and whistle a kick ass tune'. Hinata reprimanded him again.
The three made it to the restroom with time to spare. Hinata didn't want to go in, but neither did Tsukishima. And someone needed to go in. So, Kageyama dragged them both in. Stating that, 'if girls can do it, I can do it better'. What they hadn't realised, was that he intended on dragging them into the stall with him. They didn't let that happen.
As Kageyama did his business, an owl appeared. With quiet steps, he launched himself at the small ginger, latching to him like a koala. Hinata squawked in shock and fear, begging the horrible toilet enemies not to eat him. Before Tsukishima could ask what the Hell he meant, or that it wasn't an enemy, just an idiot, he himself was attacked. A black cat jumped him and held on tight as he spun the tall teen around.
"Hey hey hey! Shoyo need his man to bring him to the toilets?"
Hinata sighed in relief before bouncing happily. Knowing who the person was now, he felt a lot better. Then the words hit him like a ton of bricks and he flushed bright red.
"M-My... Man?!"
Kuuro laughed as he pulled away from Tsukishima, giving Bokuto a thumbs up in the process.
"TsukiHina is real, isn't it bro?"
"Oho?"
"Ohoho."
"Stop it."
The two third years turned to Tsukishima to see many veins popping on his forehead. Hinata squeaked before edging away from the owl and putting his back to a wall, desperately hopping to not be collateral.
However, before Tsukishima could finally release some pent up emotions, Kageyama finished his business. He left the stall humming a tune, and went over to wash his hands, completely oblivious to the going ons around him.
"Du dududu dudu dududu. Du dudu du du du dudu. Dudu du du du dudu. Du dudu du du du dudu. Du dudu du du du dudu. Dudududu dudududu. Du dudu du du- Oh, hello."
Kuuro and Bokuto blinked in confusion. Hinata, still stood off to the side, scrunched up his face and frowned.
"Kageyama, did you actually hit the bowl?"
Kageyama tilted his head in confusion. Then, when he realised what the other meant, he shook his head.
"There was already something in there, why would I add to it?"
Hinata groaned before moving to clean the mess up. Tsukishima groaned as well before explaining the basics of a toilet, throwing in some insults out of frustration. Then, Kuuro and Bokuto broke out into fits of laughter.
"What happened to your 'Genius Setter'?"
"Did he forget how to toilet?"
The two kept laughing as Tsukishima felt his rage build again. Hinata looked angry as well, as he walked past the two to wash, more like scrub, his hands. Kageyama however, was completely oblivious.
"Do you want to head to our room now? Or should I stay here so you two can be alone?"
Finally, Tsukishima burst.
"Will you stop shipping us?! Me and the Shrimp will never happen! And you two! Stop laughing! This is your fault!"
He shouldn't have said that.
"Oho? How is it our fault Tsuki?"
"Tch."
"Now now Tsuki. Answer your elders."
He's really sick of people using that against him. Especially as one of the said elders struts over like the cat who got the milk.
"Well, you two gave Hinata energy drink and I had to deal with it. So, I got revenge and, here we are."
Bokuto raised a brow.
"If you wanted revenge, shouldn't you have given it to us?"
"Like I would want to deal with that..."
He mumbles to himself as Hinata tries to get Kageyama out of the restroom. Kuuro chuckles before he speaks again.
"Actually, that stuff makes me sick. Too many nights drinking it to keep Kenma company made the drink revolting."
"Yeah, and it kinda just sends me to sleep."
The two grin in victory as Tsukishima's face drops along with his mood. He just really wants the day to end now. So, he grabs the two other first years, and pulls them away.
"KageTsukiHina isn't too bad either~!"
Tsukishima growls as he passes someone through the door. He hears a hum of recognition from Hinata but keeps going. Just let the day end... Please...
"Ow! Akaashi whyyyyy?!"
"Good morning love birds~"
"It's time to wake up~"
"Come on guys, not again. Why can't you just leave them alone?"
"You're such a buzz kill Suga-San~."
"Yeah. They're still so cute! Let us have our fun~"
He feels like he's been here before. But, he knows he went to bed on his own, and he even went so far as to put Kageyama between him and Hinata. So, why did they sound so close to him when they were talking about 'lovebirds'? Surely they meant Kageyama and Hinata.
"*Gasp* Tsuki's waking up!"
"Quick, smile at the love birds!"
"Haven't we been through this before?"
"Does it matter Yamaguchi? Why not take a picture to remember this moment?"
"Or for black mail."
"...Ok..."
That traitor!
"That's the spirit!"
"Shut up! You'll wake Hinata up!"
"What's wrong Asahi?"
"He's pretty scary if he's woken up without enough sleep..."
"How would you know?"
"Will you lot shut up! They're still sleeping. Get the Hell out of the room!"
He here's the pitter patter of feet leave the room and goes to open his eyes. The ceiling fades into his vision, still blurry due to his lack of glasses. However, he can very clearly see the tuft of orange poking into his vision. What the Hell...
"Sorry. I moved in my sleep again..."
Seriously?
"Why me..."
"Better hugger I guess..."
Yeah, speaking of... Why is his left arm dead? He moves his right and, why is it wrapped around Hinata? No, don't tell him. He's becoming a hugger too?! This is bad for his health...
"Get off."
"Right! Right away!"
Hinata jumps up and moves away, standing a good two feet away as he looks down at Tsukishima. The blonde placing his not dead arm over his eyes as he groans. Then, another person groans not too far away from them.
"Hinata boke... where...?"
"Was the name necessary?!"
The two broke out into an argument as Tsukishima cleaned and put on his glasses. Then, he looked at the clock on the wall, and frowned. Then he groaned again and fell back into his futon.
"Why me?!"