Chapter 1: Life and Death

Life.

What is life? Why do you live? Is there a meaning to life?

People would say it's about becoming happy or perhaps it's about accomplishing something.

Like becoming a doctor, being rich or things like that.

Perhaps it's a religious reason? Serving God so you could go to heaven and attain eternal peace.

To me, I would say, it's the first one. Being happy. Yet, when I think about it more. I become bored. When I try to play a game, I end up not doing it because even if I arrive at the ending and finish the game. Then what? I just finished the game, that's it.

I could feel happy and satisfied but that's only for a few hours. Back to reality. I would say that the most fun I get in things like games or even stories. Is that trying to overcome conflict is fun. Seeing a character progress and gain more experience is fun.

In this sense, you could say that it is experiencing this events is what drives people to do something. To experience watching a character become a hero. To experience things that they haven't originally experienced.

Peole want to get good jobs, so they could experience being rich. So that they could experience eating good food, being in a nice house or buying a car.

The need to satisfy your curiosity or the need to satisfy the need to experience a certain thing.

Wanting to experience or achieve something is reason and reason is what makes people want to live.

Being happy makes you want to stay alive because you want to experience more of this happiness.

But for me, I find most of life to be boring. The only thing that drives me is the things I could experience. Trying to overcome conflict is also one of the thing that drives me.

I focus more on the present than the past. You could say that I appreciate the small things in life more than I do the big ones.

For now, I have two goals. Becoming the most powerful being and enjoying the journey to become the most powerful.

Why is it this, you ask? Well, that is because I could experience more. What better way to do this, than being above all? I don't want to just be rich. I could already simulate it and I'll find myself bored in a few months.

I don't even want to make humanity advance more and turn into it into a type 2 or 3 civilization. I could care less about strangers. The reason why humans care about other people is because of evolution. Sympathy is created to make people care so that people in the past will give other beings food or any essential resource so that humans could work together as a pack to increase their chance of survival.

Sympathy, Empathy, Anger, Happiness, Fear, Sadness, Excitement. These emotions were made through evolution. Think about it. Do you think things like bacterium have these? Single cell organisms evolved to dinosaurs, then into mammals among other things.

The need to experience something. The reason for life for modern day humans... was created by evolution. Which existed, so organisms could survive more.

And organisms were made by matter. Organisms are matter. But they could move and are more complex than something like a rock.

A human is a collection of cells or single cell organisms. You could think of humans as a mass of tiny organisms to increase survivability. Thoughts and emotions among other things are created by organisms by functioning together to achieve a complex function like thought.

So I think, aren't humans the same as bacterium? They might even be the same as a rock.

In the grand scheme of things, this is true yet wrong. Your value could be decided through the amount of change you bring into the universe. A rock would occupy space but a human could destroy rocks and turn it into dust.

Why am I saying all of this, you ask? Well, that is because I see humans, morals and various things as an illusion.

In a sense, the difference between a character in a 2d surface is no different from a three dimensional human.

Why? Because a fourth dimensional being could see three dimensional humans as something akin to humans viewing characters in a manga.

And so on and so forth.

Like I said earlier, the value of something could be decided to the amount of change it brings. That is why, I do not limit myself to changing just my life, nor just society.

When I said I wanted to become the most powerful, I meant being above dimensions. I want to see the absolute 'truth'. Dimensions are shackles and concepts are also shackles. By being above death, destruction, creation and dimensions. I could see the truth. The totality.

Perhaps, if the meaning of existence at it's absolute whole is nothing. But if I do find that out when I become The One Above All. I may just sleep, as death would have no meaning. Like a certain blind idiot god, I will dream for all eternity. As if I wake up. Nothing would matter. Even nonexistence.

It was a rainy day.

I was walking down the road while I was thinking about what to do when I got home.

Each of my steps splash water to the surroundings. Wearing a raincoat, I didn't need to worry about the rain.

'I'll just read some manga.' I thought while absentmindedly waking down the road.

To know me better. Let's start with my name. My name is Stein Law. A nihilistic 14 year old with too much imagination.

My hobbies, are watching anime, reading manga and watching videos in YouTube.

I like food, interesting stuff, good people and the internet.

I dislike assholes, rude people and boredom.

Well, now that you know me better. Let's get back on what what is currently happening.

While I was walking down the road. I see some suspicious looking guy in an alleyway with a girl.

I stop walking and observe what was happening more. I see the man holding something. Looking closely it was a gun.

He was also removing his belt while saying something to the woman as he tries to get his pants down.

'Ah, he's probably trying to rape her.' I thought as I stare at the two.

...

'Well, I don't really care. So whatever, calling the cops is too bothersome.' I start to walk again but stop after a few steps.

'... You know what, I'm feeling kind of retarded today, so whatever.' I start to head towards the alleyway sneakily.

It was a good thing that the man was too busy in the woman and his back was turned to me.

So, I grabbed a nearby pipe and smashed it into his head.

The man gets knocked to the ground without even managing to say anything.

"You okay, lady?" I ask the woman with apathy as she nods in relief.

"Well, let's get you up." I walk towards the woman as I try to help her stand up.

Suddenly, the man wakes up and points his gun at me.

"Y-You bastard!"

"Oh shi-" I try to say but then, a loud sound was heard as the gun was fired.

I look down and see my chest bleeding. My heart was shot.

The man panics and runs away. I drop down towards the ground. The woman I saved gets shocked and tries to call an ambulance.

'... So, you're telling me... That a fucking low life like him... will kill me...' The more I thought about it. The more angry I became.

Soon, I experienced something new to me. It was wrath.

I stand up, uncaring for my blood soaked body and clothes. Feeling an anger I have never felt. I ran towards the man who shot me.

In a few seconds, I see him. I dash towards him and knock him to the ground.

"You piece of shiiiiiiittttt!" I shout in maddening fury as I punch his face, again and again and again and again.

I stab my finger into his eyes and then deepening it. The man's screens dies out as I gouge his eyeballs. The man passes out from pain.

"YOOOUUUU FUCKKINNNGG SON OF A BITCH!" I grab a pen in my pocket and stabbed into his brain. Then, I spin it. I then take out a portion of his brain. Then, I stab him again and again and again.

The people nearby run towards me and Stops me from mutilating the dead man futher.

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME, BASTARDS!" I try to kill the other people from interfering. But, I suddenly lose strength and my vision blackens.

'God... Damn it...' My eyes close and I 'die'.

I feel awake. So I open my eyes and stare at... darkness

Then, I notice text on a box. I couldn't accurately tell because the box was also black. Like the surroundings.

'Is this.. Limbo?' I thought but I focused on the text and it said.

GAME OVER

Try Again?

Yes/No

'What... the fuck.'

A/N: Hello! I'm trying to make this story because it seemed interesting. If you've read my ToAru fic. Don't worry, I won't drop that.

Also, please leave a review about what you think. This is rated T, because it's not that gory (Probably. But I might change it. Cause it's Tokyo Ghoul.)

Also, OC is nihilistic but he tries to experience fun and find out about the true meaning of life. Tbh, I'm also nihilistic but I'm too lazy to go to a psychiatrist.