Hello everyone,
This is my first full-length novel, and it's still undergoing revisions. I've spent a few years working on it, from about freshman year to-believe it or not-the end of my senior year. I'd really appreciate feedback on whether the characters are IC, the plots are good, and all the other elements of the story. The cover picture is fan art drawn by SmileyyMonsterr. I don't own the picture or Invader Zim. I only own my OCs: Hannah, her dad, Ruza, Mikel, Snork, Smack, and probably a lot of others I forgot to name.
Above all, God should receive the credit for any merits this story garners, because without Him, I couldn't write anything, much less something great. I know Invader Zim has nothing to do with religion, however, I hope the themes and values in this story serve to reflect His Word and glorify Him. I've held you up long enough: have fun reading, and shoot me a review to let me know how you liked it.
Breaking News Bulletin:
This is Keith Kid reporting live for Channel 6 News with a breaking story this evening. We have reports of what appears to be a giant robot of some sort ravaging through the downtown area. We now take you live to a video feed from… what's that? ...Oh. Oh, I see. It appears that our helicopter has just been knocked out of the sky by… something. Stay tuned for further updates, and… oh no. Oh no! It's coming this way! Stop! Not again! No- NOOOO!
24 Hours Earlier…
Where's that main office, already? You'd think they would have at least told me where to sign in…
I walked through the hallways, looking for any sign of human life. Why I had signed up to tutor kids at a skool like this, I'd never understand. The halls were filthy, the walls were cracking plaster, and everything was colored a nasty yellow-green. It didn't smell great, either; but this was a middle skool: I should have expected as much. After about ten minutes, I came to an intersection where seven doorways formed a tight circle. One of them read "Nurse." Another read, "Taxidermy." I did a double-take. TAXIDERMY? ...Crazy skool…
I kept walking, looking for either kids or teachers. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder and yelped, whirling around. "Hellooo," a woman said over-enthusiastically. "You're here for the hi skool tutoring program, aren't you?"
"Um, yes ma'am," I forced a smile. "Do you know where I should sign in?"
"Sign in?!" the woman slowly began to chuckle, and then laugh, and then cackle like a complete maniac.
I stepped involuntarily a few paces toward safety. "Okaaay… Um, maybe I'll just find the kids I'm supposed to be tutoring… instead."
"Why, certainly, deary," she smiled as if nothing had happened, and then pointed to a door down the hall. "They're right in there!"
"Thanks…" I cast her one more confused look before walking up to the door. The plaque on the wall read Miss Bitters. I began to open it cautiously, before I looked back to ask the lady if she was sure this was my room… but she was gone. That's weird…
To my left as I entered the room sat desks filled with children, who all had physics books on their desks. None of the kids actually seemed to be working: one boy wadded up his worksheet and threw it at the back of someone's head. Another was trying to eat the example pictures of fruit in his book. Great, I got stuck with the crazies, I thought miserably. The only one who seemingly genuinely interested in working sat in the front left seat, poring over his book. He had black, spiky hair and glasses. He scribbled down answers while the rest of the class launched paper airplanes and spit wads and made annoying animal sounds.
I made my way to the teacher's desk, where an old lady- and I mean really old- sat, looming over the children. She didn't look as if she actually cared about the kids' education, but seemed more interested in the second hand on the clock behind her.
"Um, hi- are you…Miss Bitters?"
"Yes, I am. What do YOU want, child?" she growled.
"I-"
"Wait a minute…" Her eyes narrowed and she circled me, her black clothes making her look like a strange eel with a woman's head. "You're one of those hi skool students we hired to be tutors!"
The rest of the room was staring at me, having momentarily forgotten their spit wad war. "Well, actually, I'm doing it for free, but, um…Yeah, I'm a tutor," I said lamely.
"We have tutors at this skool?" A kid in the back called.
Oh, boy…
"Tutor?" another voice rang out. I looked to the front right seat, where a boy in some weird pinkish outfit stood on his desk, glaring daggers at me. "What is this… Tutor of which you speak? Is it some kind of military rank?"
"What?" I asked, mystified. It took me a full three seconds to register his green skin. Wait…GREEN SKIN? "Whoa- what's up with your face?"
"It is merely a skin condition, freaky military female!" He glanced around daring the others to to challenge him. "I AM NORMAL!"
"Zim, a tutor isn't a military position!" The boy who'd actually been writing answers down said dryly. "She's here to help us with physics homework!"
"Good!" Miss Bitters shot. "I can't tell you how much I've looked forward to this vacation. Can you imagine working with these children all day long? Trying to teach them Newton's Second Law of Motion? No! They'll never learn! You're all DOOMED!" she screeched.
"I'm sure they aren't that hopeless," I said, trying to get on their good side. "Wait- did you just say vacation?"
"Yes, child. I'm going to live at the beach for the rest of the skool year!"
"What?! But I'm not a substitute!" I protested. "I'm just supposed to go around and ask if anyone needs help and stuff… after you teach the lessons!"
"Not my problem." She grabbed her briefcase and slithered/hovered to the door.
"Um, Ms. Bitters, wait! P-please, you can't just leave me alone with these-"
SLAM! The door shut in my face.
"- kids…" Great… That's just great.
I turned around to find them glaring at me like I'd invented Newton's Second Law myself. I sighed. "Okay, um…Well, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Hannah. It's nice to meet you all… so…anyone need any help?"
"ZIM needs NO ONE'S help! You might as well just walk out of here right now, you idiotic, filthy human!"
I faced him. "If I did that, I wouldn't get any service hours, now would I?" He growled and sat back down. "Now that that's taken care of…" One boy in the second row raised his hand, and I walked over, ignoring the stares from the rest of the room. They gradually returned to what they'd been doing. "What's your name?" I asked the boy.
"Melvin!" he grinned, speaking in a ridiculously high-pitched voice. "I'm getting a puppy for Christmas!"
"That's nice," I smiled back. "You know, I used to have a puppy, before… that accident... with the blender. Um… Anyways, what was it you needed help with?"
"I don't understand this," he frowned and pointed to his book.
"What part?"
"All of it!"
"…All of it?"
"I don't get it!" he repeated.
Oh, this isn't good…. "What about this part here, about velocity? Do you understand what velocity is?"
"Oh, yeah, I know what that is! It's a kind of dinosaur!" Melvin's laugh was throaty, the kind one might call geeky- over the top. I figured someone would get really tired of it if he or she taught all day, every day, like Ms. Bitters.
"I think you mean velociraptor," I corrected.
"What's that?" he frowned.
We have sooo much work to do… "Um, wait here. I'll get a book and be right back." I made my way to the front, dodging airplanes and spit wads. "You all should really be finishing your worksheets." Of course, none of them listened. I wondered if I would get service hours if none of the children actually learned anything.
Just as I was leaning down to pick up a book from the shelf, I heard someone whisper, "Psst!" I turned to find that one kid- the one actually doing the homework- looking at me. He motioned me over. Raising an eyebrow, I put the book down and knelt by his desk. "Hey, I'm Dib," he greeted.
"Hannah. Need any help?"
"No, not really. I figured out this part about rotational torque already," he pointed to a question far down the worksheet.
"Wow. You're really far ahead of the others- Melvin hasn't even figured out the date yet."
He laughed. "Yeah, a lot of these kids… they aren't so smart. My dad's a scientist, so I spend a lot of time studying his technology and stuff. That's the only reason I think I understand physics."
"I had a hard time with physics, but I liked it a lot anyway," I said. "We had the nicest teacher- she brought us donuts!"
"Donuts are good!" he grinned.
"I know, right? They're the best! Anyway, I have to go help Melvin learn about velocity, so-"
"Wait!" A sudden urgency entered his tone.
I frowned. "What?"
"Do you see THAT kid?" he pointed across the row to the boy with the pink clothes and green skin. "He's an alien!"
"An alien? …Well, it wouldn't surprise me, the way he talks about 'filthy humans' and all that." The object of our gossip was deeply immersed in his own electronic sketchpad drawing. "And his skin, too! It's gr-"
"Yeah!" Dib nodded vigorously. "He wears a disguise so no one will recognize him. The other kids are all too dumb to notice, and they don't even SEE how he's trying to take over Earth!"
"Earth? Um… no offense, Dib, but that might be a little extreme. Maybe...he really does have a skin condition…" I tried not to stare at the green child.
"A skin condition with no ears?" Dib crossed his arms.
I looked again and felt light-headed. "Holy muffins, where are his ears?!" I shut up when I realized the whole class was staring at me again. The Zim kid gave me a look of complete hatred. I waved weakly. "Hey…"
"It's true!" Dib whispered, as they returned to their activities. "I'm telling you, Hannah, I've been spying on Zim for years! All of my attempts to get proof have kinda failed, but I know he's an alien! Soon his empire's armada will come to conquer Earth- he already tried bringing them here once, but… Wow. This must sound really stupid to you, huh?" He looked at his desk, dejected. It was as if no one had ever listened to this spiel before- like he'd been shut down many times before.
The least I can do is act like I care. "...No, it's not really stupid, it's just…just…really...out there. I don't know if I believe you, but I'd sure like to find out more about why Zim is...well, just more about him."
"You're serious?" he asked interestedly but carefully. "Because people have pretended to believe me before. They got abducted by other aliens with a bunch of super weapons!"
"Oh, really?" I laughed.
"Yes!...Hey! Why don't you meet me at lunch? We can talk about Zim's latest plan to destroy Earth! I got pictures of the machine he's building, only it's not very big, so I don't see how he'll be able to destroy-"
"HELPER LADY!" Melvin yelled.
Oh, shoot. I forgot about mister velocity over there. Won't that be fun? "Be right there, Melvin! Sorry, Dib," I frowned, genuinely sad to leave such an interesting conversation. "I've got to help some of the other kids. Why don't I meet you at lunch?"
"I'll save you a seat," he grinned.
"Awesome. See you later." I retrieved the physics book, and caught Zim giving me a suspicious look on my way back to Melvin's desk. He glared at Dib like he was responsible for world hunger and then turned with a frustrated grunt back to his sketchpad. What's his problem? Oh, whatever…
After about twenty minutes, Melvin finally understood the basic difference between scalar and vector quantities. I broke down and told him the date, however: shoot me, but the kid had issues.
"Testing! Testiiing!" A voice suddenly came over the intercom. "Attention, students! This is your new skool announce- from before- speaking! All the children in Miss Bitters' class are required to attend a mandatory field trip! I mean...ugh...ergh! Except for Zim!"
"Oh, not this again! I'll handle it!" Dib sprang from his seat and ran out of the room.
"Hey, wait!" I called, too late.
"You all get to go to the Wonderland Factory of Cheese! They make all kinds of things out of the cheese- monkeys, burritos, even squid babies- ouch!" The connection was abruptly cut off. What the heck...?!
A moment later, Dib ran back into the room, posing like he'd just saved the day from an evil army of mutant ninja zombies. "I did it!" he shouted.
"Stupid human! Zim shall destroy you!" Zim lunged toward him.
"Whoa! Hey!" I threw myself in between them, separating them with my arms. Since I was a good bit taller than them both, this was quite effective. "Enough with the 'human' business!" I ordered. "Now YOU-" I looked at Dib, "get back to your worksheet. YOU get back to your strange drawing, or whatever the heck you were doing." I released their heads with a small shove. "And the rest of you..." I pulled a spit wad off my face. "No more spit wads!"
"Awww!" the class moaned; but, to my surprise, they went to work. The room was soon silent once more.
Wow. They actually listened to me...Maybe this tutoring thing won't be so hard, after all. I took a deep breath, gazed at the intercom speaker, and shook my head. Squids made out of cheese, huh? Well, one thing's for sure- this is definitely not your everyday middle skool.
Now for some fun facts:
Their love of donuts is a bit of foreshadowing.
The "puppy...blender" line wasn't originally there- it was added in one of the final edits.
This chapter was written while I was taking sophomore Physics, so the material was fresh in my mind.
Regrettably, I made use of the "actually-believing-Dib-and-being-invited-and/or-a ble-to-sit-at-his-lunch-table" cliche...forgive me.