The Revelations of a Tortured Soul

CHAPTER 1: OF BETRAYALS OF NOT LOSING FAITH

One morning, while I was on my way to my work at the art gallery, I noticed a van with tinted windows creeping exaggeratedly slowly behind me. After all I have learned about Edward and his world, and what had recently happened with Jasper, I couldn't help being a little more aware of my surroundings. Whereas before, I never would have given them second thoughts, now all I could think about was the possibility that the man behind the wheels was an enemy of Edward's, or worse, Aro's.

I walked as fast as I could manage without being too obvious.

Thankfully, when I turned around the next block, the van finally zoomed past me.

Edward wasn't happy when I told him about it later on in the day.

"Maybe I was just overreacting," I tried to reason, but his tight grip on the table hadn't loosened one bit.

"It can't be an overreaction, Bella," Alice remarked. "We all know that we're treading on dangerous waters. It has to be one of them."

"Do you think it's one of Aro's men?" Rose asked as she leaned against the wall opposite from me.

"Let's not jump to conclusion," I tried again.

However, Jasper, who was sitting quietly the whole time beside Alice, finally looked at me with a contemplative expression, then said, "The walls have ears. I'm sure Aro knows about you by now. James' gang is, after all, under Aro's command. It wouldn't take them long to link you to Edward."

The mere mention of James brought back memories of seeing Jasper with him at the club where I worked before.

"What do you say, E?" Emmett asked for the first time looking completely serious.

"We need to get the hell out of here," Edward said, looking pointedly at me as if to say I was the actual reason for leaving.

And so, for the next days, I prepared my departure from Phoenix.

I resigned from the art gallery and was asked to stay for a week until the owner could find a replacement. I paid my last bill for my tiny apartment. And on Saturday, Alice and I decided to visit my friend Kate to get Eddie and for me to say goodbye to her.

"Is this how it's gonna be now? Me, not being able to leave without one of you as my bodyguard?" I asked in a little protest on our way to Kate's apartment.

"Just be thankful Edward has to make a few last minute arrangements before we leave, or he'd be with you today."

She had a point. Edward seemed to be a little over-protective where I was concerned. Last time I went to the nearest convenience store to purchase some girl-related things, I almost died of embarrassment when he couldn't be persuaded not to come with me. Imagine my horror when he saw me pick up some pads for my 'monthly visitor'. I couldn't look at him in the face on our entire ride home.

"But Alice, this is Kate we're talking about. I've known her for months. She's a friend."

"Bella, one thing you need to know about our world is that you do not trust anyone. The moment you do, you'll lose. And by lose, I mean die."

A chill ran down my spine.

"But I do trust you. And Rose, and Em, and Edward," I countered.

I purposefully left out Jasper because I do not want Alice to think that I could easily trust someone I just met. Though if I were to be honest, being with Jasper in the penthouse for the past couple of days has already warmed me up to him a little.

"Let's say Edward told you that you need to stay at home no matter what until he gets back because he saw one of Aro's men lurking the area. Then I came in an hour later telling you that Edward has been shot and that we have to go to him. What would you do?"

"Is that even a question, Alice? Of course, I'll go with you."

She shook her head in mock disappointment.

"You just got yourself killed."

"What? Why?"

"Well, no, not killed, just possibly kidnapped. Then killed."

"What do you mean?"

"Who do you trust more? Edward, or me?"

"Alice, of course I trust you both …"

"Who do youtrust more? Edward, or me?" She repeated more forcefully this time.

I huffed in annoyance but figured she wouldn't let it go unless I choose. So with reluctance, I said, "Edward."

"Then why would you follow me? Do you think if Edward actually had been shot by Aro's men, he'd tell me to come fetch you to see him? Do you think he'd risk getting you near where his shooter could still be?"

Again, she had a point.

"Then why would you tell me to see him?"

"Probably, because Aro has Jasper as his hostage, I wanted to save his life so I needed to take you to him. Probably, because Jasper is my lover and Edward is just a friend, so Jasper weighs more, and I'm at my wit's end. Probably, because I betrayed you."

Just picturing what she told me was enough to break my heart.

"You'd never do that to me. To us. You're my best friend."

"Betrayal usually comes in the form of the best friend, Bella. You need to know that. And in this business, you do not trust anyone."

I pretended to mask my pain at the realization my best friend could someday betray me by arching my jaw as though to challenge her opinion.

"Then what would you have me do?"

"First, you have to understand how Edward would think if he was really shot. It wouldn't be that hard – you know him well enough by now. Then you'd realize that if he really did see me, he'd ask me to keep you safe instead, because he's a fool like that. He would not want to drag you to where he is as you'd basically commit suicide. Then, you'd pretend to agree with me so that you can find a way to run from me to ask for help from Edward because, at this point, he's the only person you can trust. Ranking the people you trust, Edward is first, and I am second, and I betrayed you, so there is really no one else besides Edward. And when you do, you'd realise that he's alive and well and I was just a big-fat-liar."

It was hard for me to digest her analogy. It did nothing to help my pained heart.

"That's … insane. And complex."

"But it'll keep you alive."

I was quiet; contemplating what she had said when Alice suddenly sighed as though the world was too heavy on her shoulders.

"But that will never happen."

Turning my head toward her, I noticed her eyes looking at me with compassion. She probably realized that her analogy depressed me.

"Because if I ever learned that Jasper had been kidnaped, I wouldn't fall victim to Aro and betray you like that. Instead, I'd find a way to get him out alive."

"And because," I added, "it's not in your character to ask me for help if Edward really did get shot. You'd probably help him to get away alive even if that would endanger you."

"Exactly," she smiled. "But the lesson of the story, Bella: never trust anyone."

And know who my friends really are.

When we arrived at Kate's place, she took one look at Alice and hugged her like she would a best friend. She let us inside to offer us coffee and sweets and made us feel at home. Alice scanned her room upon entering while I asked her about Eddie.

"Oh, Bella, that cat is a monster. He keeps me awake at night, and he's hungry all the time."

"I'm sorry Kate. But don't worry, I'll take him off of your hands now. Thank you, really, for looking after him."

"So, how was your vacation? What brought you here? Was it just Eddie?"

Alice was quiet, same as the first time I met her. I guess that was her normal reaction to meeting strangers.

"Actually, I'm planning to leave Phoenix with Alice."

She seemed saddened by the news.

"Oh, really? Just the two of you together? Where will you be going?"

"Well, we were …" I started saying, but Alice cut me off.

"Actually, we're thinking of going to London. You know, just us girls. Bella's a great friend and I wanted for us to have a sisterly bonding. It will be great!"

"That's wonderful, Bella. I hope you'll be happy." Kate smiled, though still looking sad.

"Yeah," I answered hesitantly, eyeing Alice meaningfully for her blatant lie. However, she wouldn't even look at me and was just keen on surveying Kate's room.

We talked a little more about her new life, and how she was adjusting to her job as a nude model for painting classes. I was happy for her and how she was starting fresh after her nightmarish days as a prostitute. We exchanged digits and promised to call each other every day.

Alice was quiet the whole time.

"You know what," Kate suddenly announced, putting her own cup of coffee on the table and standing, "I'd go fetch Eddie. I'm sure you miss him a lot."

"Thank you, Kate," I said with a smile. She smiled back before climbing the stairs to her room.

Once she was out of sight, I immediately turned to Alice.

"What was that for?" I hissed; incredulous. "Why would you lie to her like that? Do you suspect Kate to be one of Aro's men?"

"You can never be too sure, Bella. I was just being safe," she whispered back.

"Well, you don't have to be. Kate's my friend. We can trust her. And can you please at least attempt to talk to her? You were a mute the whole time."

"You're too naïve, Bella," she answered with an indignant expression.

When Kate came down, my eyes zeroed in on Eddie in his cage looking at me as though he was bored. It momentarily made me forget my argument with Alice.

"Aww, I miss you Eddie-Deddie," I cooed, striding over to get him from Kate.

It happened all so fast.

One moment, I was crouching to open Eddie's cage, and the next, Kate had me pinned against her, pointing a gun at my skull; Eddie's cage was falling to the floor making him hiss in surprise.

The next thing I saw was Alice pointing her gun at Kate.

I should have listened to her.

"One wrong move and I'll blow off Bella's head," Kate warned in a voice I'd never heard her use before.

My heart was pounding.

The talk between Alice and me about betrayals came springing back to my mind. To think I was so adamant about trusting Kate; this whole thing was like a slap in my naïve face.

"Put down your gun, Kate," Alice responded in a deadly voice.

"Huh," Kate huffed, tightening her hold of me and pushing the gun with more force to my head. "I have the upper hand, Pixie. I don't think that'd be wise."

It took me a second to realize that she just used Alice's code name in the underground world.

"Kate …" I uttered; voice quivering. It hurt me to know that my friend could betray me like this, but it also ignited a fury in me I'd never experienced before.

I hope Edward could teach me a little self-defense when we got home … or did he already?

In my adrenaline-induced haze, a memory of Edward talking about self-defense while we were inside his car after he had driven me to work at Starbucks played on my mind. I still didn't know who he really was at that time.

I remember him saying something about the groin area for the guys, and for the girls …

"All right," Alice said, acquiescing. "I'll put the gun down. Just don't hurt Bella."

Very slowly, Alice set her gun down to show Kate that she was relinquishing her power as I prepared my little self-defense against her.

And then …

"Ugh!"

Suddenly, Kate was bellowing in pain, dropping her gun, and giving me the opportunity to elbow her in her chest. The action made her tumble down as I fled towards Alice as fast as I could manage. The knife that Alice has somehow thrown at Kate's hand landed on the tiled floor as blood oozed from her open wound.

Alice was like a predator on the hunt as she skidded to Kate to kick her gun out of reach.

And the next thing I knew, little Alice was pulling Kate from the floor to pin her to the wall and was pointing the gun at her head.

"Who sent for you? Was it Aro?" Alice screamed at her with enough venom that left me reeling in fright.

Kate had the audacity to laugh.

"It's as they say. You guys are tough … and quick. When did you have the time to hide the knife? I swear I only noticed the gun in your belt when I hugged you earlier."

So that was why she was overly friendly with Alice when we first arrived. I should have known …

"Don't give me all those bullshit, Kate. Answer my question!" Alice grew furious by the second.

"I have a message from Aro," Kate, again deflecting said with a smirk on her face that made her look like a different person altogether. Even though she was having a hard time speaking, she recited: "We will hunt you down. He will never forgive betrayals. We know Masen's weakness."

A shocked tear fell from my eye.

In a fury I'd never seen before, Alice slapped Kate with her gun making her lips bleed.

"What do you plan to do? What were Aro's instructions?"

Ignoring Alice again, Kate's eyes shifted towards me.

"I really did like you Bella. Too bad you're with Masen. We could have been real friends."

Suddenly, with a frenzied smile thrown in my direction, Kate knocked Alice away from her, only to retrieve her gun from the floor with her unarmed hand. And in one single move, she pointed her gun at her own head to pull the trigger. It did not go off in a loud boom as I expected, but there was no doubt that the bullet went through her head.

I was still in shock as Kate fell to the floor and blood pooled from her head. Her lifeless eyes felt as though they were trained on me.

"Oh my God!" I shrieked, clutching my head with both my hands in shock, having difficulty grasping that Kate has just killed herself in front of us.

"I knew it," Alice murmured in apparent dismay. "Too bad she died without telling us everything that she knows. Corpses can't speak. Aro hasn't lost his touch."

I should have been alarmed that Alice felt nothing for my once friend who was now lifeless before us. But I've come to accept the fact that my life was now the same as Alice, Edward, Rose, and Emmett's. That meant being prepared for a few more occasions such as this before we are finally free from this kind of world. I hope that if something like this ever happened again, at least the killing would not be from the hands of any of them.

"What are we going to do about her?" I asked once I recovered from my shock, wiping my tear-stained face.

I vowed right there and then never to be such a weakling again.

"I'll clean the knife for fingerprints, and wash the cups we used. Then I'll check if there are any cameras or bugs here. Thankfully, she used a silencer for her gun so the cops wouldn't come scouring the area too soon. Go to the car. I'll follow you there in ten minutes. Make sure no one sees you."

I carefully crouched beside Kate, certain that her face will be etched in my memory forever.

"Would you mind if I say a little prayer to her before I go?" I asked Alice; my eyes still trained on the lifeless form of my former friend.

She faltered for a second before saying, "Make it quick."

With that said, I took Kate's hand and closed my eyes.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Lord God, a new soul will wander again into the dead. I pray that whatever her sins, this soul will still find a place in Your Kingdom. Grant her access there, oh Lord, for You are a merciful father who would open His doors to us and embrace even our misdoings. Please forgive her sins, and let her through your gates.

I implore You oh Lord.

Mother Mary, please talk to Your son Jesus to let this poor soul into His father's heaven.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

After doing the sign of the cross, I let go of Kate's hand with my whispered, "Goodbye."