FALL FOR YOU

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night

That I will fall for you over again

Don't make me change my mind

Secondhand Serenade- Fall for you

Z

"There you are," Han said quietly as he stepped out onto the balcony into the hot Spanish night. His footsteps tapped on the brick as he approached me from behind and placed a kiss on my cheekbone. My heart twisted in my chest and I turned my head away.

"We need to talk," I whispered bitterly. I felt him stiffen behind me as he took his lips off my cheek and a step back.

The streets below were lit up with light and life. The smell of festival food floated up to the balcony with the warm night air. It also carried with it the sounds of the people, laughing and shrieking with joy as they frolicked together in the night. I hated them.

I squirmed on the balcony ledge as I tried to get comfortable, yanking on my pajama shorts when they rode up too far.

Tonight was the night that everyone was celebrating because Real Madrid beat Barcelona in one of the biggest football games of the year, and I had spent most of it alone because Han had somewhere else to be. I had been annoyed at him before in our relationship, but I couldn't remember a time when things were this bad.

After my ectopic pregnancy and my week in the hospital from the surgery and the complications, things had drastically changed in our relationship. He drew back from me when I was sick, and after I got better, he got even worse.

He hadn't looked at me in weeks; he was leaving at random times without saying so much as a word about where he was going. I'd wait up for him to get back, but when he did, he'd just kiss me on the temple and start ignoring me. That was until I wanted to go out, at least; then he got paranoid about where I was. I had adopted the same attitude when he wanted to go somewhere and we were fighting a lot. Thoughts of affairs and mistresses had been in the back of mind, but I hoped it was anything but that.

It scared me more than I was willing to admit; I had gotten used to him back in my life and, with everything that had happened in the past three months, I needed him to step up. But the sad fact of the matter was that he had thrown up a wall between us; it was tearing my heart in half, and I couldn't deal with it anymore.

So tonight I wasn't going to let him walk away from me. I was going to make him either fix it with me, or we were parting ways.

"Elle—"He began. I heard the pain in his voice, but I was too hurt to acknowledge it.

"Are you seeing someone else?" I cut in as I turned away from the party below.

The single lamp on in the bedroom behind him backlit his body. It was almost impossible to make out his facial expression, but I knew it would be what it always was; blank. It had been a long time since I had seen a sexy little smirk pull at his full lips.

"No. Why would you even think that?" His voice rose in frustration. It was obvious that my question had wounded him, but I needed to know.

"You don't come home, and when you are home you mostly ignore me, except to nag me about going to work or going out. You haven't attempted to touch me in weeks." I listed off quietly.

"You just lost a baby—you almost died. Isn't it a little soon to be doing all that?" He bit out.

"Is that why you're acting like this?" I asked him, completely stunned. I knew the failed pregnancy scared him, but I never thought this was coming from worry and not the fear of being a father.

He sighed and turned back into the bedroom, shoving the door open wider as he went past. Knowing he meant for me to follow him, I jumped off of the balcony ledge. By the time I reached my living room, he was settled on the couch staring at the coffee table. He refused to look at me when I sat down in front of him.

"Han, that happened but it's over. I really need things to go back to normal." I pleaded with him. His eyebrows raised as he continued staring at the wood grain of the table. "They will go back to normal, you know. I just feel like I'm the only one trying to get them back that way."

"You're not." He insisted firmly. I sighed.

"Then why aren't you coming home?" I yelled. He sighed in frustration and shook his head.

"Damn it, Ellie!" He yelled back.

"Well, why aren't you? And why is it that every time you do, you absolutely smother me when I want out? I'm going crazy being cooped up. It's been two months since I've been medically cleared to move around. Why won't you let me? I'm fine." I snapped.

"Last time you told me you were fine I found you half dead on the bathroom floor. I almost lost you." He finally lifted his eyes off the table and my eyes widened in shock. It was the first time I had really looked at him in a long time; if I had earlier I would have seen the dark circles and the way his face looked years older. I also would have seen the unveiled pain in his eyes.

He was right. Last time I told him I was fine, I just wasn't feeling well, I fainted after I started bleeding internally. He had decided to drop off a few snacks and movies before he left me for the night, and had let himself in when I didn't answer the door. The doctor had said that I could have died in addition to losing the baby if he hadn't gone back.

I started to tear up as I felt guilty for a whole other reason.

I had been so busy freaking out about being hurt and being angry that I had forgotten that he was affected by this just as much as I was. I had had time to mentally and emotionally deal with the fact that I had been pregnant for a little while when I was sick from the surgery complications; Han had spent that time taking care of me.

Without thinking, I reached across the table and wrapped my hands around his closed fist propping up his head.

"You promised you wouldn't bury your emotions from me," I told him quietly. He pressed his lips together and looked away.

"You were so upset when you lost it—" He began, but trailed off as he out the hand not being held by me against his face.

"I was," I stated. "But I was relieved and guilty because I was relieved. There were a lot of emotions going through me." I swallowed thickly. He pulled his hand off of his face and put it over my hand.

"I'm not ready for kids and I don't want to put you in that much pain again." He told me honestly. I nodded.

"I don't blame you for any of that," I whispered. "but I am angry that you started leaving me alone with no explanation."

"Ellie, you had your time to deal with this. I needed mine." He told me bluntly.

"I know that now; if you'd have just told me before, I would have let you have all the time you needed," I muttered. "You're just so hard to read and so good at hiding things, I didn't think about you going through the same emotions I was. I assumed the pregnancy freaked you out enough to start looking for someone else."

"God, no. I've just felt so guilty-." He began as he pulled his hand back up to his face. "I've been going to the garage. I've ripped every engine I have apart and put it back again a hundred times over just so I have a distraction."

"It's nobody's fault; we've always been careful, but it happens sometimes." I reminded. His tired, dark eyes found mine in an intense stare that I couldn't pull away from. "Are we okay?" I asked. His lips pulled up in a sad smile.

"We were always going to be okay." He replied as he leaned across the coffee table. I met him halfway and leaned into the kiss. It was slow and tender, so unlike the little pecks on the lips he had been giving me. I was almost sad it ended when we had to pull back for air.

"We're going to get through this, just like we have everything else," I reassured myself more than him after a moment of silence.

"I just wish you'd realize that at this point I'm not going anywhere." He replied.

"I know. Sometimes you just need to remind me." I responded as I stood up and moved over to his couch.

"I'm really sorry," I muttered as I settled down beside him and wrapped my arms around him. He reacted instantly by turning and pulling me half on his lap.

"Me too."

I sank deep into his neck.

We'd had a billion bumps in the road. This as just one more that we would get through. I'd heard so many people talk about falling out of love, but every time we pulled each other through something, I fell in love with him all over again.

AN: Repost of an old oneshot. It was written as a prompt for someone. If anyone wants to give me another prompt, I could really use the practice again.