A beautiful, romantic setting.
Soft, slightly eerie, illumination provided by the collection of candles spread across the room. A soothingly repetitive rain taps at the windows. The gentle aroma of lavender. Except for the rhythm of the weather, there is a coaxing sort of quiet in the room. The kind of silence that demands speech.
"More orange, Kakashi?"
She has portioned the fruit out carefully, proffering a generous amount of slices to her guest. Sakura is playing the role of the perfect hostess tonight.
Her companion has been consuming his share rather vacantly, gazing at her with an odd sort of attention. When this query passes her lips, he seems to awaken from whatever trance he was in. He utters, his tone remaining idle,
"I wouldn't want to trouble you."
Sakura is strangely perturbed by his staring, as if she senses something immoral in his gaze. Is she merely imagining that sudden suave quality to his voice? Or has he, for some unattainable reason, begun speaking that way on purpose? Wary of comment for once, she seizes one of the last remaining orange slices in the bowl and takes a bite out of it.
The rain continues to drum on the window glass. The candles flicker, but do not extinguish themselves. The smell of lavender still rides the air around them, drifting lazily across the living room. Everything is silent. Everything is calm, uninteresting, normal. There is nothing about this moment that could stand out.
Kakashi turns to the female and utters quietly,
"Please don't be angry, Sakura. I'll stop if you really want me to."
An expression of the utmost confusion appears on her visage.
"Stop wha-?"
He kisses her.
It is abrupt. It is soft. It is passionate. It is, in a bizarre way, wanted.
The dexterity of it is flawless, the way he manages to get his mask off with such haste as to fool her eye for a split second. It is all planned, yet spontaneous in its execution. Just like the candles, the scent of lavender, the rain.
A desire to protest, to push him away, is swiftly overtaken by a desire to return his kiss. Sakura wants him to continue, to kiss her until the end of time. She doesn't, as Kakashi proposed earlier, want him to stop.
But he does stop, albeit after many moments. He withdraws from the embrace, his visage lightly touched with color. It is difficult, at this early stage, to determine whether or not he intended such a long, passionate kiss.
"Forgive me. I don't know what came over me."
Breathlessly, she inquires,
"Any chance it might come over you again?"
There is a note of lust clinging to her voice.
He presses his lips to hers yet again, but this time his hands begin to wander. They go on a quest of exploration, navigating across her bare skin with ease. He pauses for a moment, withdrawing from the kiss and searching her features for objection. But there is nothing present except a slowly building pleasure. She appears content to allow him his exploration.
"Sakura..."
Her names clings to an affectionate whisper as it emerges from his lips.
"I never told you this, because the reaction I predicted wasn't pleasant."
He runs his hand up her leg, slowly and teasingly.
"But for quite a few years, I've been allowing you to get close to me because you're the only woman I'd do this with. Do you understand, Sakura?"
She understands with only half a thought. A part of her has known for years, but has been concealing this knowledge for fear of being erroneous.
"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable," Kakashi continues serenely. "I could leave, if it would make you feel better. I'll leave and never mention this to anyone. I won't force you to return my feelings. I won't try to..."
The remainder of Kakashi's anxious speech is forever lost as Sakura, seizing the front of his shirt with sudden violence, presses her lips to his in a somewhat hungry manner. The kiss pushes the remaining words back down his throat.
She lets herself fall into the kiss. She loves his pleasant taste, the warmth of his lips. It is like kissing everything she has ever wanted in a man. Even though her fantasy of a perfect lover has never included most of Kakashi's key traits, she feels as if, at this moment in time, he is her dream man, born into reality. Empathetic, wise, tasting of oranges and persistently smelling of everything good about nature.
When she at last releases him, he doesn't feel the need to speak of forcing or departing anymore. On the contrary, he wants to remain here for as long as it takes.
Beginning to unzip her blouse, he presses his lips to her neck...
…...and Haruno Sakura, a small cry erupting from her throat, is thrust into the waking world.
She sits up in bed, perspiring significantly, as reality floods into her senses. In real life, there is no gentle tattoo of rain or candles to softly illuminate her surroundings. She is sitting in bed amongst a mass of tangled sheets, shrouded in the darkness of her bedroom. She observes that a star-studded blackness still hangs across the sky. If her mental clock is to be believed, it is approximately three or four hours until the sun rises from its own slumber.
Sakura cannot pinpoint the exact night in which the dreams began. At times when she attempts to dredge up the memory, all that comes to her is a vague date or time. She is only certain that they have existed for over a year, therefore suggesting sometime around her 20th birthday. She recalls a time when she used to dream about a whole host of males around her own age, ranging from casual acquaintances to friends. But now it has narrowed down to one man.
The dreams are clones of one another, with only a few minor alterations in each. These alterations extend only to the surroundings, rather than the events that take place. Always, without fail, it begins innocently enough. However, the innocence proceeds to dissolve bit by bit as the dream runs forward. Suddenly he is kissing her as if he's fallen madly in love, and Sakura, by the will of the dream, is allowing and encouraging his advances. His hands find their way to her blouse, to the zipper...
And then she forces herself to wake up.
Despite having had the dream for an immense length of time, she has never allowed it to reach the obvious finale. Without fail, she uses every drop of her considerable willpower to awaken. The first few times she managed to do this, it was a great comfort to her. But now, with the dream coming back every night, it has become less of a comfort and more of a burden.
It could never happen, she thinks, as always. Why do I keep dreaming about something that couldn't possibly happen in a million years?
In this sentence there is an idea, although she does not realize it until a much later date.
Why are my fingers shaking? Sakura wonders.
She knows the answer to this query, but she would rather remain ignorant of it. Of course her fingers are quivering in anxiety. Of course her confidence is battling with trepidation. It is the natural response to a plan like this, a plan she doesn't want to go through with. A plan she must go through with, as the more rational side of her brain demands.
It is a later date. Sakura is in the kitchen, aware of time closing in on her. Her hands, inept in her nervousness, fumble childishly with the orange slices she is arranging on a plate.
He won't come, she tells herself. He'll remember something important. He'll misunderstand my message. He'll get struck by lightning. Whatever the reason, he won't come.
A knock at the door alerts her of an arrival. The dreaded hour has come without fail. There is no retracing her steps back to yesterday now. She can only walk forward, toward Step One.
Kakashi does not appear lovestruck or anything of that nature. If he is struck by anything, it is a supreme puzzlement over being invited to Sakura's abode. He is his common self, untouched by the romantic affection possessed by his dream counterpart. This is a good sign for Sakura's plan, although it is only a small reassurance. The night has only just begun.
"Hello Sakura. There was something you wanted to ask me about?"
This was the excuse she had thought up to explain the summons. It wasn't entirely false, but he would be caught off guard by the subject she had in mind. Stepping over the threshold, it comes to his notice that his initial realization wasn't an error. The apartment is nearly completely devoid of light, save for the illumination of a few candles.
"Am I interrupting something?" Kakashi inquires delicately.
"Not at all. Candles are very cozy, aren't they?"
"Cozy" isn't the word that leaps to his mind. The phrase "a little creepy" wins first place, followed by "strange" in second place. In third place there is a battle between "unnecessary" and "a bad sign".
In the living room, he notes that the scent of lavender seems to be hovering in the immediate air. It is only a thin aroma, but he cannot help realizing its presence. It is quite pleasant, although the presence of the candles somewhat ruins the effect. Combined, they give the impression that one had stepped into a curious ritual.
The moment her baffled guest is settled, Sakura darts into the kitchen. She returns a moment later, holding a small tray adorned with freshly cut and peeled slices of orange. "Orange?" she offers, attentively innocent in tone.
He helps himself to one of the offered treat, uttering a cordial "thank you".
"Ask away," he implores, wondering about her intentions.
"What do you know about dreams, Kakashi?"
The query is smooth. Unreadable.
Astonished by her choice of topic, although concealing it with ease, her companion replies swiftly.
"Dreams? I barely remember my own. And I don't want to."
"Why is that?"
His visage darkens.
"Nightmares."
Sakura does not take up that particular subject. The last thing she wants is to drive him into a territory in which he has the right to fence himself in and refuse to speak. She passes from it hastily, drawing him closer to a similar, yet safely handled, choice of discussion. His visage rapidly clears when she speaks again.
"Dreams are just stupid fantasies your brain amuses itself with and nothing more. They can't be connected to real life."
The aroma of oranges mingles with the lavender. The creation of a brand new, delightful and yet selcouth, scent is now in the air.
"That isn't strictly so," the man informs her evenly.
Dream Kakashi comfortably exhibited his true face to his hostess. In the real world, he doesn't attempt to take a bite out of the slice of orange in his hand. As with countless picnics, lunches, and dinners back in the days of good old Team 7, he does not risk showing his true face. It is as much of a mystery as it has always been. Another line crossed between the real world and the dream world.
Kakashi returns the orange slice to the plate before continuing.
"Hidden desires. Fears. Subtle realizations. Fantasies of endings and beginnings. Life as it should or shouldn't be according to our hearts. Lessons we would otherwise ignore. All can be present in dreams. Because real life occasionally can't cope with all the things in our brains."
Rain. Tapping at the windows.
The woman didn't notice it before, but now it's so plainly there. Helping to blur that thick line between reality and dreams she has constructed. But she knows that rain was hinted today. It does not disrupt the heart of her plan.
"I like the sound of the rain," she comments, gazing with some nervousness at the man before her. "So peaceful. Nature's little musical number that goes with everything. Do you agree, Kakashi?"
A slight smile creeps across the man's visage.
"Most of my memories of the rain are unpleasant."
Will mine be? Sakura wonders dismally, reflecting on the dream yet again.
Although, she must admit with expected hesitation, she didn't find the dream entirely unpleasant... It's merely the impossibleness, the strangeness, that turns her away from any desire for it to become a reality. She likes this world she lives in, with Kakashi as her friend and nothing more. She wants to protect this relationship they've found as mere comrades.
"Have you been having nightmares, Sakura?"
Passing over that query, she dives directly toward a more pressing one.
"What about recurring dreams? Does it mean something if you have the same dream over and over?"
Kakashi isn't an unintelligent man. He instantly decodes what she's trying to tell him with those questions.
"You're having the same dream over and over. And, considering your tone, I assume it's a terrible one. Well, what is it? And why did you invite me here to talk about it?" Sakura hesitates. Should she tell him? What could the consequences of such a reveal be? Would it destroy their friendship? The possible outcomes keep piling up with every second of her reluctance, each more outlandish than the ones preceding.
"It...it is a terrible one...but not in the way you're thinking. I know it's weird, but..."
Her cheeks burning with embarrassment, she relates the dream in great detail. She puts particular emphasis on the innocent parts, such as the rain outside and the oranges. She passes quickly over everything else, including the kiss and the sensual climax of the dream. She does not want to mention these in the first place, but she also cannot leave gaping holes in her tale if Kakashi is to visualize it.
Upon reaching the end, Sakura stares at the man before her with panic in her heart. She isn't sure whether she wants him to laugh, become angry, be confused, or all three. Ideally, he will have gone deaf and not heard a word of anything she just said.
Kakashi gazes thoughtfully at the woman for a moment, his emotions indecipherable.
"How long have you been having this dream?" he inquires slowly.
"Months. I have it nearly every night."
Sakura instantly regrets the words. She feels as if she should have lied about the time frame. Things have already shifted into that painfully awkward territory with her explanation of the dream itself. The word "months" holds uncomfortable innuendos she doesn't want anywhere near the cogs of Kakashi's brain.
"I thought having the two of us in the same situation might help," she explains hurriedly.
Kakashi doesn't comment on this plan of hers. He is staring at the plate of orange slices as if trying to contemplate their existence.
"So far, it isn't like the dream," the female utters in satisfaction. "I mean, the setting is identical, but I meant for it to be."
A relieved smile in on her face now. Even though the night has not come to its conclusion, she feels triumphant. Kakashi hasn't kissed her, he didn't react badly to her description of the recurring dream, and their friendship still stands regardless of the uncomfortable information Kakashi's brain now contains. Her worst fears for tonight are fading into the realm of laughable distant memories.
Kakashi finally speaks, his expression serious to a high degree.
"Please don't be angry, Sakura. I'll stop if you really want me to."
For a second, Sakura wonders where this strange utterance came from. In the next second, she realizes what is about to happen. However, in the second proceeding, it is too late for her to do anything about it.
He kisses her.
It is just as abrupt, just as soft, just as passionate, and just as bizarrely wanted as it is in the dream.
For a minute, she can almost believe it is the dream. She can almost fool herself into thinking that she is slumbering and this entire event, including the plan, are mere fantasies conjured up by her sleeping mind.
But everything she feels, from the warmth of Kakashi's lips to her beating heart, ruins this comforting illusion. This is real life, in which one cannot wake up from either nightmares or unwanted dreams.
When the two of them break apart, both of them are blushing furiously. Kakashi, who rarely blushes, has turned a shade of rose. Sakura, who blushes quite a bit more than him, has turned the exact same shade.
"Explanation!" the female demands, lightning in her eyes.
The blissfulness of the kiss has evaporated faster than it came. She has now shifted into bewilderment and fury, staring angrily at the man before her. Apparently her anger has made it difficult for her to construct a complete sentence, hence the single-word demand that she fires at Kakashi. She found the kiss quite enjoyable, but this does not excuse the fact that it happened.
"We both know my reasons for doing that," Kakashi replies, continuing to blush.
It is a little alternative Sakura played with while formulating her scheme. She only considered it for a minute or two before discarding it, as the very idea made heat rush to her face. She couldn't see herself asking Kakashi to do such a thing for her, regardless of their friendship. She wouldn't have felt comfortable with such a behest, even if it was Naruto or Sasuke.
"Do you honestly think this whole thing is my secret desire to kiss you?" Sakura scoffs. "That's hardly worth a recurring dream!"
She adjoins, shaking her head in disbelief,
"Did you forget we did more than just lock lips in the dream?"
Kakashi gives her a rather suave smile in response.
"Then we'll have to do more than lock lips. It's the only way."
Sakura stares at him as if he's taken leave of his senses. Although, despite her unwillingness to admit it, she knows that his words are the truth. If her dream really is some hidden longing that has come to life, she can only defeat it through confrontation. Running away will force it to chase her down.
"We kissed," Kakashi continues thoughtfully. "What happened next?"
Sakura casts her mind back, remembering the events of that persistent dream.
"You kiss me again. And while you're kissing me, you start to...um...your hands...get a little...uh...curious..."
Kakashi doesn't blush as she explains this. He merely nods in a serious fashion, as if this is simply business to him. Although if it is simply "business" to him, Sakura does not want to know how he spends his leisure time.
He does as she has just described, mirroring the dream almost flawlessly. Mindful of reality, he keeps the exploration of his hands to a minimal. Causing Sakura to fly into a rage, even if she agreed to the plan in the first place, is not his intention for the night. He can't help her if he's lying on the floor with all of his senses knocked out of him.
When the second kiss comes to its conclusion, they are both blushing yet again.
"Then what?" he inquires hastily.
"Next you...run your hand up my leg..."
He does as she asks, his heart beating a little faster than usual.
"Then you...u-unzip my blouse..."
Why is it suddenly so hot in the apartment? The temperature seems to have elevated several degrees in the past five minutes.
"And next I...I wake up."
Sakura speaks these last words with both relief and disappointment. She hates to admit it to herself and wouldn't dare say it out loud, but a part of her wanted Kakashi to continue. It would have been easy for her to lie, but it was unlikely that Kakashi would fall victim to any sudden fabrication.
Kakashi, who has just unzipped Sakura's blouse, puts the cogs of his brain to work.
"Maybe that's the problem," he theorizes. "You always make yourself wake up before the dream actually finishes. You've never experienced the whole thing from start to finish, right? You've only gotten up to the part where I unzip your blouse?"
Sakura nods, realizing that he is making a valid point. From the first dream to the most recent incarnation of it, she has left it as an unfinished story. A novel that one never finishes because they would not enjoy the ending in the slightest.
"Obviously the dream needs to get to the end before you can stop having it," Kakashi concludes. "In that case, we'll need to go a little farther than the blouse."
Sakura instantly knows what he is suggesting.
"In your dreams!" she utters scathingly. "You'll get my clothes off when cats fly, you pervert!"
She ignores the fact that, with him having unzipped her blouse, he's already halfway there.
"I'm just using logic to solve the problem," Kakashi replies patiently.
"Logic? What "logic" is there in defeating a recurring dream with the use of sexual intercourse?!
"The dream..."
"There was nothing in the dream about us getting it on!"
"It was implied. Or do you think the dream was going to end with us putting together a puzzle?"
Sakura stubbornly crosses her arms, refusing to budge on the issue. It's not that she thinks sex with Hatake Kakashi would be unpleasant or lacking in any way. She isn't even significantly bothered by the idea of having relations with a man who used to be her sensei. Her protests are spawned from the fact that he suggested it in the first place, as if he has lost interest in her problem and has decided he wants to get in her pants because the opportunity arose.
Words from the dream drift into the kunoichi's obstinate mind.
"I've been allowing you to get close to me because you're the only woman I'd ever do this with. Do you understand, Sakura?"
It takes her a moment to realize that she is not hearing mere echoes from the dream world.
Kakashi is actually speaking these words to her.
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asks.
She asks this, but she understands. She understands that her dream never needed to come true, because it wasn't a dream to begin with. Amidst all the kissing and implications of sex, her mind was trying to give her a straightforward message that was swept up by the events surrounding it. She was blind to it earlier, having focused too much of her attention on the actions rather than the words.
Sakura does not wait for Kakashi to answer her question.
"The only woman, huh?" she utters, suppressing a grin. "I just remembered something important from the dream."
Surprised, Kakashi opens his mouth to ask her about this memory.
He doesn't need to ask.
Sakura seizes him by the shirt and pulls him toward her, hungrily pressing her lips against his.
She doesn't need to fall into the kiss.
The kiss is pulling her in.
Kakashi insists on leaving, despite the pouring rain and his lack of an umbrella.
He ignores her warning about the possibility of a cold, not that she expected him to heed it in the first place.
She is rather pleased that he is departing. So much has happened that the two of them need to steady their heads before they speak again. At the door, neither of them are quite sure how to say goodbye. They didn't have sex, yet the remainder of what was once a friendship lies shattered at their feet. The friendship Sakura first and foremost wanted to protect and loathed the dream as a result. She has failed at this, but she isn't displeased with herself. If she and Kakashi play their cards right, they can take these new feelings they're experiencing and do something wonderful with them.
"I'll...see you tomorrow," Sakura utters awkwardly.
"Yes. Tomorrow."
Kakashi looks for a moment as if he is going to say something more, but changes his mind.
Closing his mouth and giving her a curt nod, he turns and disappears into the rain.
Sakura closes the door behind him.
She blows out the candles.
Disposes of the remainder of the snacks.
Brushes her teeth.
Changes into her pajamas.
Climbs into bed.
Closes her eyes.
Dreams.
Her and Kakashi are on a ship.
They are staring over the railing at the expanse of ocean stretching out before them.
"Where are we going?" Sakura asks, interested.
"You tell me. This is your ship."
She considers this question for a minute, rolling it around her mind.
"We're going to...Your Heart. I heard it just opened."
"Are you sure you want to go there, Sakura? It only just opened. What you find there might not be what you expected."
Sakura smiles.
"I don't care what I find. Its somewhere I've wanted to go for a long time. Now that I finally have the chance, how can I pass it up?"
"Are you visiting? Or are you planning to live there?"
Sakura reaches out to touch Kakashi's hand.
"Your Heart has always been my home."