PROLOGUE

"A bond between souls is ancient - older than the planet."

― Dianna Hardy

It was the routine that maintained Bucky's sanity. Wake up, go for a walk, feed the goat he'd found wandering the woods he'd been living in, feed himself, go for another walk, stay far away from the city, go to bed, repeat the next day. Nothing strange or unexpected ever happened as long as he stuck to his routine.

The only danger there was, was his mind. In those few moments when he was cursed with the opportunity to think, it was always like jumping into dark waters that spread out to the ends of the Earth, no land or rescue ship in sight. His body would grow sore as he'd try for hours to stay afloat, trying to not slip down into the depths and drown beneath the thoughts in his mind, losing his grasp on life. Becoming consumed.

During one particular morning he'd returned from his walk to find the goat waiting outside of the hut, the animal having settled into the routine just as much as he had, enough to know what time it needed to arrive at his hut in order to get fed some of the berries that Bucky would have scavenged during his morning walk. As he did every other morning, he pulled from the makeshift cloth sack a handful of berries which he then placed on the floor, allowing the goat to approach him and not the other way around.

The goat had no qualms with approaching the armless giant like it had the first time they'd met, even allowing him to pet it's head as it began to munch on the berries.

He let out a sigh, turning to look up at the surrounding forest. He'd have been lying if he said the loneliness never got to him, even with his goat friend. He'd had to isolate himself because his mind was too much of a dangerous thing, he was too much of a danger. He would see Wakanda's king and the leading scientist every few weeks because they were trying to help rid his mind of the trigger words Hydra had put in him which would make him turn into a cold-blooded killer. That still meant he was alone most of the time. It wasn't even the loneliness that really affected him, it was the overwhelming sensation of there being something missing.

The forest before him was truly beautiful. Green covered every nook and cranny, lit up by the few rays of Wakandan sun that tried to reach through the leaves and kiss the ground. It was warm and beautiful and full of life and it always made him feel like he was missing something detrimental to his entire existence. Like it was a part of his own heart, but the most frustrating part was that Bucky couldn't actually remember losing it, not when nor where, he couldn't even remember what the piece of his heart used to look like, he just knew that it was gone.

Bucky continued to stare into the luscious green surroundings, feeling like he was staring at something else entirely despite only being able to see the forest physically in front of him.

"Hey, Meatball."

Bucky immediately rose back up to his feet, wide eyes scouring the forest in order to search for the source of the distant sounding words. There was nothing though. Just leaves dancing against the soundless wind. He looked back down at his goat friend but the animal was just munching down on the berries undisturbed and that was when he began to realise that perhaps there wasn't a noise after all.

"We'll get through this, we just need to make sure that we remember each other," the voice sounded again just as he started to doubt his hearing. It was a lot less faint the second time, an echo that called out through the trees to his left. The voice was feminine, as high-pitched and as musical as a bird's whistle, yet there was a desperation to it, like the bird had broken its wing and was stranded on the ground. He'd like to think that the tone was the reason he left the goat's side and journeyed towards the unknown, but in some ways, he was searching out that voice because it felt like he'd find himself wherever it was. And that was something he'd been trying to find for many years.

Bucky wandered through the trees in the direction of the voice he'd heard, keeping his ears tuned into the forest for any, and all, sounds. His heart yearning to hear more melodic words. As though whatever was speaking could sense his want, he didn't have to wait long.

What came next was a scream. It was loud and piercing and it split the forest apart like a knife piercing the ground he walked on, making the armless giant stumble slightly.

It at least helped him figure out what direction the voice was coming from though. After restoring his balance he set off into a sprint, charging through the forest and using his one hand to push away any branches that got in his way so that he wouldn't be deterred, not caring when strays would eat away at his skin and blossom small scratches on any naked flesh the nature could find. There was nothing Bucky would allow to get in the way of him reaching the source of that voice. Every bone in his body demanded that he reach her, whoever she was. He had to save her the same way oxygen needed to be breathed.

After a minute or so of storming his way through the woods he came to an opening at the bottom of a cliff from which a stream of water bombarded down. He was met only by the sounds of the nature that surrounded him, the splash of the waterfall, the water licking rocks, the scraping stones beneath his feet. There was nothing more of the voice.

Bucky spun on the spot as he examined his surroundings for the source of that familiar voice, only looking around his parameter, never looking up, not until he heard a sniffle. All things considered, Bucky really shouldn't have been able to hear the subtle whimper, but he'd come to terms with the fact that what was happening wasn't real. It didn't matter because the emotions he felt were definitely real. The agony clogging his throat, the anxiety shrivelling his spine, and the yearning like a fist holding tightly onto the leftover pieces of his heart. All of those emotions were very real and strong enough to make him not second guess the person he saw standing on the edge of the waterfall.

She was beautiful. Reminding Bucky of some sort of forest spirit. Her wild strawberry blonde curls captured the sun's rays like glass, somehow turning even lighter and crowning her head. She stood barefoot, feet being tackled by the raging stream water but it seemed to have very little effect, the small strawberry blonde an immovable force. She stood like the world had fought against her and lost many times, like God himself had challenged her only to concede in the end. She was rooted into the earth, belonging to it like every leaf, flower and tree. She was more than beautiful, more than divine, more than ethereal, more than any word that would come to Bucky's mind.

Yet even from where he stood, he could see a sadness on her expression, an emptiness in her eyes, like a part of her heart was missing too.

When the spirit, or hallucination, or ghost, or goddess, looked down at him, despite the distance between them, it felt like - for the first time in a very long time - he was being seen. The beauty stared deeper into him than just his eyes, even further than his soul. The strawberry blonde was staring into his darkest depths, able to find within him the parts of himself that he'd forgotten.

"Just follow the red string Bucky," she ordered softly, clearly believing that Bucky would understand the meaning behind her cryptic words, "every time we lose each other, all we need to do is follow the red string."

Tears slipped down her cheeks as raindrops would slip across tree leaves, it was clear the words were important to her, and the stiffness between his heart and his belly told Bucky that the words were important to him too, he just couldn't remember why, the same way he couldn't remember who the goddess actually was. He wanted to ask who she was but he was almost too afraid to. His throat was clogged with all the memories he didn't have of who she could be.

"Find me, Meatball," she whispered beneath her breath, the words as loud as a scream in his head. All of a sudden she took a step forward, moving closer to the edge and Bucky felt his heart stop in his chest as dread consumed him entirely. She never stopped walking forward and he couldn't do anything to stop her. She was too far out of his reach.

As the strawberry blonde raised one foot over the edge, she spoke four more haunting words. "Before it's too late." And then, she jumped off the edge.

"Addy!" The name tore through him like a lion breaking free of its cage as he launched himself into the body of water before him just as he saw the strawberry blonde's figure collided brutally with the surface.

He found himself immediately surrounded by blue. It had been clear at first but the deeper he delved the darker, and murkier, the water became. He could still see her though, no matter how dark it became he could still see her. She was surrounded by a halo of light, untouched by the darkness, a beacon like the lighthouses which called sailor's home.

But she was always out of reach. No matter how hard he tried to swim Bucky was simply incapable of reaching the strawberry blonde. From reaching Addy.

In that moment it was all his heart desired, reaching her, saving her, protecting her. Life itself was going to end if he didn't. That was all he could think and feel and sense. If she died then so did he.

"Addy!" He called out again into the suffocating waters. He couldn't stop repeating it, like the name was the only solace they had, the only thing he needed to save either of them. He repeated the word until his lungs were filled with the water. Until the water became like tar consuming his insides, until his eyes stung like it was fire, not water, caressing them. He continued to pierce the water with his wails until Addy faded completely into the darkness, the last thing he saw being the hand she had stretched out towards him. Or perhaps his fading vision was the cause of her disappearance.

He was fighting his body for consciousness, willing his eyes to stay open and his mind to stay sharp and his lungs to stop burning so violently in his chest so he could continue to swim further down, so he could reach the most important woman in his entire life.

But there was only so long he could last in that fight, and eventually, the darkness consumed him too...

"Bucky!" The voice that called out to him that time was also feminine but it wasn't the same as Addy's, the new female voice heavy with a Wakandan accent. He found himself not wanting to open his eyes, at least if he stayed in the darkness then he was still close to Addy.

It took the woman, that had been yelling out his name prior, slapping him on his right cheek to wake the super soldier up. The hit so abrupt it had him immediately sitting up, his one hand clenched and lifting up in the air slightly to automatically make a counter attack, he couldn't as someone had immediately placed a strong grasp on his arm and pushing the limb back down to the floor.

His throat was burning violently and his eyes were sore like someone had rubbed them with sandpaper. It didn't stop him from analysing the scene before him as he sputtered out the rest of the water that still bathed in his lungs. King T'Challa was kneeled at his side looking down towards him concerned, one hand keeping his arm down on the ground. Bucky also noticed that the king was drenched, his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin and droplets of water raining down his body from the top of his head. Shuri was beside him with a device in her hand that he knew was connected to an implant they'd put in his body so they'd know if the Winter Soldier had woken up (it also recorded his general health, which he guessed was why they'd arrived to save him then).

"Addy, I- I need to find Addy," he explained to them, breathless as he looked back to the top of the waterfall that was now empty.

Shuri followed Bucky's gaze towards the waterfall's edge but there was nothing but gushing water and emerald green moss surrounding the rocky structure, she turned back to Bucky confused at his behaviour, confused by the fact that they'd found him drowning in a ravine when there were no signs of anything that could have kept him beneath the waters. "Who the hell is Addy?"