What would have happened if Lotor didn´t came in time.
Don´t, the words are harsh and tired in his mind, Don´t think about them, he tells himself again for the 3rd time, he swears Matt is talking to him over the lines but he´s too invested in himself that he barely hears it, he tries to ignore the constant pain in his heart but it´s too much now that he begins breathing hard.
-"We´ll never penetrate those shields!"- It´s what Matt screams at him, and he heard him, but right now he´s in this ship, planning something stupid that will definitely cost his life.
They´ll be fine, he tells himself as he closes his eyes and lets the warm of the suit in his body calm him down, he tells himself and tries to convince him that they will all live after this, and maybe there´s a chance of his words being truth, but not if he doesn´t tries everything in his power.
-"Maybe not with our weapons"-
So he plays with his life.
-"Wait! Keith, What are you doing!?"- He hears Pidge´s brother over again, he´s screaming at him, trying to convince him not to do it, trying to give him a sense of reason.
But thank god his voice of reason is not here.
He would definitely want to choke him if he was.
For them, he repeats in his mind after a couple of seconds, because he knows, he knows that if he ever were to talk to them one last time they will all be out of their minds, he knows they care about him but it´s so hard caring and loving for him, it´s hard because he knows he loves them but he doesn´t know how to show it.
So he does this for them.
And for their families.
And their futures.
He does this because it´s his last chance, and doesn´t even bother to say some last words because knows they will all cry.
They will try to convince him not to do it.
Especially Lance and Shiro.
He knows that if he tries to say some last goodbyes they will all try to persuade him to not do it, and he doesn´t even know if he were to obey Lance again, so he doesn´t even try, because this is for them, and with Lance off he now has a chance to not be selfish.
He does this last thing for them, and for a second, he lets himself feel vulnerable and scared in what could be his last moments alive.
And so he allows himself to think of his friends.
He remembers the way Shiro made him feel like family, and the warm hugs Hunk gives when they are chilling out, he thinks of how Pidge sometimes rambles to Keith of battle tactics, and all the little talks he got with Allura, the weird rambling words in Altean that Coran uses and the way Lance used to be his voice of reason on so many occasions.
He remembers when Lance put their differences aside and accepted Keith, just like that, and Keith will never be as grateful as he was.
A rush of despair hits his body as he gets a hold on the controls in the ship and breathes hard as he pushes them forward, directing his ship right in to the shield´s way of the bigger ship.
-"Keith, no!"- He hears Matt screams but it´s all so blurry right now, he hears them and he knows it´s him but all he thinks right now is in his friends.
He´s so grateful his friend's aren´t in the lines.
He knows he´s going to die, but it´s nice knowing that at least he will die for the people he loves.
And so he ignores Matt´s screams.
And he feels his body tremble against the pilot seat, and he´s not even sure if it´s the cold inside of the ship, or the fear itself talking through his veins, or the turbulence of the unstable ship, but he closes his eyes and tries to ignore the answer.
And he only hears silence over the communicators.
And the sound of an explosion.
And the terribly shake in his body.
And the horrible pain inside him.
He swears he feels everything and nothing at all.
And he lets the darkness consume his consciousness.
We´re definitely going to hell but ooh well, i may continue this, i may not, soooo... i hope you like it