Beyond Wonderland
Chapter 1: Bitter Reality
Screaming was all I could hear from my hiding place in the corner behind the sofa. I sit here, curled up in a ball as tightly as physics will let me while my parents are fighting again. I know it's not the best hiding spot but it's where I ended up, and the last thing I want to do is move and have them see me. They already beat me when they're sober and happy, you don't even want to know what I endure when they are drunk and angry. It's always like this and I don't know how much more I can take. Im only 14 but my mind is so dark, so deluded, so insane, because that's the only thing I know. Though out of everything, I felt weak and helpless the most, because while my parents were drunk and angry the only thing that was satisfying to them was using me as a punching bag and all I could do was stand there and take the pain. It's been so long since ive felt safe, or even happy, but ive kept quiet all these years keeping my dark thoughts in the back of my head and trying to live on the bright side…who was I kidding. There is no bright side. I guess all ive been doing was pretending my life wasn't so bad. When reality is so bitter all you can really do is dream of a place where life is wonderful. Sometimes I wonder what the line is between dreaming of a better world, and lying to myself thinking life isn't so bad. Sometimes id get so caught up in my own lies, I would actually believe my life wasn't so fucked up. But no. That wasn't possible because while Im sitting here with tears covering my pale face, my parents are continuing to scream and shout and…oh god. They found me. I felt a firm hand grab angrily at my jet black hair before I felt a hard punch to my stomach and I was down. I fell helplessly to the floor and all it took was a couple more kicks to the side before my vision turned black. After what felt like hours, I finally opened my eyes to see something I was not expecting. I woke up in a world of color feeling slightly insane. There were blue and purple trees that curled into spirals, and the grass was the brightest green I had ever seen in my life. There were giant mushrooms everywhere, towering over everything .Upon further inspection, the air had the slight smell of apples and strawberries. There was nothing but tall, curly, and multicolored trees for as far as I could see and the sky was a bright turquoise. There were roses everywhere with vines that looped endlessly and everything was just overall incredible, but looking around this strange world of wonder, I couldn't help but feel a little bit scared. I did just wake up here after all. I pushed my fear away for now to try and find civilization. I started to explore the forest for any signs of another human, but I found nothing but strange mythical creatures and hybrids.
Its been at least two hours of me wandering around and I haven't found anything. It's beginning to become dark and I'm starting to become hopeless that ill ever find my way, but even when I do…will it be any better than just wondering around lost? As I walk through the forest alone, questioning my life, Im starting to wonder why Im even sad here…I have terrible parents, no family, and no friends. After all I spent most of my life dreaming about getting away from the burdens and sadness and overall pain of life and escape into my own little world but now that I actually am in my own little world…where do I go from here? I want more than anything now to just be able to relax and enjoy the fact that I have an entire world to myself and that no one can hurt me here…
…no one…there's no one even here. Im all by myself just like ive been for the last 14 years, only now Im lost in an impossible place with nowhere to go, just walking through the woods in the almost-not-quite-darkness. My entire life ive been alone and I just can't take it anymore. I want someone..no..need someone in my life with me that can make me happy and feel that life's worth living, because I don't think I can keep on living in solitude and loneliness my entire life. I can't just keep walking in the darkness that is my life, I need someone to be my light. Don't think I haven't tried to make friends, because believe me I have tried. I have tried and failed for so long, that I just finally gave up. No one wants to be friends with the crazy-loner-gay-freak that is uncomfortable around people. I hate myself for that…Im always so lonely yet when I try to talk to people I'm just awkward and uncomfortable. I always seem to be contradicting myself. The more I sit here the more I fear for myself because for how dark my life is…so is my mind, and being lost and alone with a dark mind and self-hatred makes me very dangerous to myself. Over the years I have felt my hope and sanity spiral downwards so much that I don't even feel pain. Ive become so numb the pain and sadness only matter when Im hiding from my parents. It makes me wonder why I even hide because I cant fight it and its going to happen no matter what. There I am contradicting myself again. I can literally feel my sanity slowly decaying as my thoughts are eating at my mind. Not even a minute passed by when I saw something move past me in the corner of my eye. I quickly turned my head to see what it was, but I only caught a small glimpse before it disappeared but in that one glimpse, I saw a tail. A cat tail. God, I must be seeing things, I must be-"going mad are we?" I heard a questioning male voice say, cutting me off in the middle of my thoughts as if he'd read my mind. It startled me so much(and me being the horribly clumsy person I am),I immediately tripped over my own feet as I fell face first to the ground with a loud thud.
"you okay there?" he said reaching a hand out to me. I looked up to see who was the cause of my mini-thought-I-was-alone-and-now-im-scared-especia lly-because-he-read-my-mind-attack when I saw the most breathtakingly beautiful boy I had ever seen in my entire life. He had slightly wavy chocolate-brown hair and matching brown eyes so cute I could stare into them all day…wait Phil…what are you thinking. What was I doing again? Oh yeah I just tripped over myself in front of this perfect huma…wait. What are…are those cat ears? Cat ears. Okay. Not human. Tail. He has a tail too. Okay so he's a cat. wow. During this whole dialogue in my head, I realized I had been staring at him the entire time so I quickly grabbed his hand as he pulled me up. I looked into his eyes one last time before attempting to speak.
"your…a cat,. Im sorry but im pretty sure im going mad" I said still flustered from the situation in front of me.
"eh, im only part cat. and your human. We don't get a lot of humans around here anymore…your life must have been pretty crazy to end up in this place. Oh and you are already mad. Downright insane. don't worry we're all mad here. Why don't you tell me about it?"