Disclaimer: Paramount's sandbox, their toys too. I'm just playing.
Summary: This is a completely pointless little story about nothing. (No, it's not Seinfeld.) It's completely without plot or purpose, but perhaps it'll make you laugh.
Hazardous Duty
By LadyChakotay
"Captain, wait … "
"Leave me alone, Chakotay."
"Just stop and talk to me for a minute!"
"No."
Chakotay was panting slightly in his efforts to catch up to her. "Will you PLEASE slow down!"
"No."
"You could at least turn around and look at me," he said to the back of her head.
"No."
"Is that the only word you can say today?"
"No."
"I can't exactly have a conversation with you this way," he said in frustration.
"Then the sensible thing to do would be to shut up," she said without missing a step.
Chakotay, perturbed though he was, couldn't help but grin in amusement at her stubborn determination. "Kathryn, you're being ridiculous!"
She laughed aloud, her back still turned to him as she stormed down the corridor. "You, a grown man and officer, are chasing at my heels like some panting puppy and you're calling me ridiculous?"
They rounded the corner and Chakotay saw Tom Paris leaning against the bulkhead, an amused smirk on his face. Chakotay winced inwardly. Obviously Tom had heard the captain refer to him as a panting dog. That one wasn't bound to go away quietly. Chakotay shot him a quick glare and then continued as if Paris weren't even there.
"I'm not going to simply disappear, you know."
"I should be so lucky," she deadpanned.
"You can't hide from me forever."
"It's a big quadrant."
"You're going to have to discuss this with me sooner or later."
"My bet's on later," quipped Tom as Janeway zoomed past him without so much as a backward glance.
"Shut up, Paris," Chakotay growled. "I can handle her."
Janeway finally turned to face him as she stepped into the turbo lift. An arrogant yet slightly devilish grin spread across her face. In a dangerously feminine voice, she said, "Don't overestimate yourself, Commander. Handling me is a full time job."
"I believe it," said Paris impishly.
"We're going to talk about this, Kathryn," Chakotay pressed on.
She grinned as the lift doors began to slide shut. "No, actually, we're not." And then she disappeared.
Chakotay sagged against the wall like a deflated balloon and banged his head repeatedly against the bulkhead.
"Still trying to schedule her for shore leave, huh, Big Guy?" said Paris.
"Yeah," Chakotay groaned. "That's part of being the first officer, Lieutenant. I get all the truly terrifying and dangerous missions."
*~*~*~*