AUTHOR'S NOTE - The title for this chapter comes from the song 'If Tomorrow Never Comes', written by K. Blazy/G. Brooks, performed by Garth Brooks

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FRIDAY EVENING
25 MAY 2001
USS PATRICK HENRY
APPROX. 500 MILES ESE OF NORFOLK, VIRGINIA

Harm stepped onto the bridge of the carrier and came to attention in front of Captains Ingles and Pike. "Commander Rabb reporting as ordered, Sirs," he said automatically.

"As you were, Commander," Ingles said. Harm relaxed, his hands clasped behind his back as the other man continued, "Well, you've got what you wanted, Commander. The air boss has given you clearance to take off, but it needs to be within the hour. There's a large storm moving in. Any later than that and nothing's getting off this boat, but before that, I've been assured by the weather forecasters that you will have no problem getting past the storm to Norfolk."

"Thank you, Sir," Harm replied, no emotion evident in his voice. A tiny part of him wished that take off would have been impossible with the coming weather system, wanted the excuse that he could use to avoid being home for …. what was coming in the morning. Surely it wouldn't be held against him if the weather prevented him from returning in time.

But a larger part of him quashed the idea. He prided himself on being a man of his word and even if it killed him inside, he would keep this promise for he'd rather hurt himself intentionally than do so to her. He'd hurt her far too many times unintentionally.

He mentally shook himself out of his reverie as he realized that Captain Pike was speaking. "I've given Skates permission to fly back with you," he said. "She was going on leave tomorrow morning anyway on the cod."

"I know, Sir," Harm replied. "She already spoke to me about it."

Pike held out his hand, which Harm took without hesitation. Sometimes, he wondered if he'd have had the courage to put his lifelong dream behind him and return to JAG if it hadn't been for the CAG's encouragement. "It was good to have you back, Hammer," he said, "even if it was only for a couple of days."

"Well, it was good to be back, CAG," he said sincerely. In spite of everything else, it had been good to be back in the cockpit. For just a little bit, he'd almost been able to forget the uncertain future awaiting him.

As they broke off their handshake, Ingles surprised Harm a bit by holding out his own hand. He guessed Skates' scuttlebutt had been true about the captain's reaction to his quals. Then again, scuttlebutt usually was. "It's been a privilege to fly off your boat, Skipper," he said as they shook firmly.

"It was a privilege to have you here, Commander," Ingles said. His expression was devoid of emotion as he said it, but Harm knew the man didn't offer praise lightly. He reminded him slightly of Admiral Chegwidden. "See you in six months."

"Thank you, Sir," Harm said with a nod. Under other circumstances, he might have smiled at the last comment, but he couldn't summon the strength to express such cheerfulness.

With that out of the way, Pike returned to the business they'd brought Harm to the bridge for. "How soon can you be ready to take off, Commander?" he asked.

Harm hesitated. He knew there was something he needed to do first, but did he want to? That was another matter entirely. Unfortunately, he didn't have a lot of time to buck himself up for what he had to do. "I'm already packed up," he replied slowly. "I do need to find a phone first, call someone at home."

"Let them know you're on your way?" Pike asked, not surprised by the request. It wasn't that unusual a circumstance. Most sailors called somebody before they left a ship to return to shore.

"Yes, Sir. Something like that," he answered.

Ingles interjected, "Since you're short on time, instead of trying to find a pay phone that's free, you can use the ship to shore line in Communications. I'll call down there and let them know you're coming. Dismissed."

"Aye, aye, Sir," he said smartly, coming to attention before turning on his heel and departing. Once he was off the bridge and away from watching eyes, he took a deep breath. He had approximately the minute and a half it would take him to walk down to Communications to figure out what he was going to say, to figure out how not to let the heartache he was almost sure was coming consume him. Later, after he was home safely and after he watched her pledge her life to another, maybe then he would let himself feel the overwhelming pain.

-----

Just under two minutes later, he was stepping through the hatch into the bustling communications center. At least here he would be cognizant of the eyes on him, a knowledge which would allow him to keep a tight reign on himself. The pay phones were hardly in private locations, but with his luck, he would have found one in the only empty corridor on the ship and then there would be nothing to remind him to keep himself in check.

"Commander Rabb?" a female Lieutenant Commander asked as she walked up to him. He nodded. "Commander Jackson. Captain Ingles said you'd be coming down here." She led him over to a console and motioned to the phone. "Here you go."

"Thank you, Commander," he said in dismissal, sitting down in front of the phone. She stepped away to another console, talking in a low voice to one of her people, giving Harm a small measure of privacy.

Steeling himself, he picked up the phone and placed the call. After just two rings, her warm voice came over the line. "Hello?"

For one of the few times in his life, but not for the first time with this woman, Harm found himself rendered mute. The moment was at hand, but he couldn't make his mouth form the words he'd rehearsed on the walk down to Communications. He started out the window, watching the sky darkening in the distance. The coming storm was already making its presence known, the increased wind speed evident in the choppy waters below. A flash of lightning in the distance illuminated the sky, casting an eerie glow in the blackness.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Mac asked again, her voice slightly betraying her growing annoyance. "Hello?"

He wasn't sure how, but he finally found his voice. "Mac," he said softly, closing his eyes as another flash of electricity light up the night sky. "It's me. I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking off within the hour. I will be back in time for the wedding."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before she spoke again. "Speaking of the wedding, Harm," she said, "I have something to tell you."

"I, um," he began. It was time and he was convinced more than ever that he wasn't ready for this. "I didn't call to, um, pressure you. I just wanted to let you know …."

"That you're keeping your promise," she whispered. Another pause, then she added in a stronger voice, "Hang on just a minute." He thought he heard her say something to someone, but he couldn't make out her words. He blinked his eyes, staring up at the ceiling as he silently prayed that Mic wasn't there with her at that moment. He didn't want to think about them, spending the last few hours together before custom dictated that they not see each other until the wedding started.

He thought he heard a door closing on her end, and then she was back on the line. "I'm sorry about that," she apologized. "I went into the bedroom for some privacy."

"I see," he replied, sadness creeping into his voice.

"No, it's not …." she began, realizing that he assumed that Mic was present. "Chloe's here and so are Harriet and little AJ. The guys, well, they went out for – they just went out."

"Oh," he said, trying not to think about the last minute bachelor fun that the JAG men were having with Brumby. He almost smiled as he remembered another party which had ended with him, Bud and AJ in jail and his somewhat amusing – at least to Mac and only in retrospect – phone call asking for her to bail them out. He hadn't told her about AJ being with them and it had almost been worth the hassle of getting arrested to see the incredulous look on her face when she'd discovered AJ sharing the cell with them. But that had been a lifetime ago. He banished the thought and tried to focus on the conversation at hand.

She sighed heavily, wondering if the most she was going to get out of him the rest of the conversation would be one- and two-word answers. Really, she couldn't blame him if that were going to be the case, realizing that he'd probably had to force himself over the last few days not to think about her promise to him. Or maybe he was already prepared for it to be a lost cause. "Anyway," she continued nervously, "I've done a lot of thinking the last couple of days. I thought a lot about everything we've been through together and everything that's happened the last two years. Much as we'd like to, we can't just forget about that …." She rambled slightly while searching for the best way to phrase what she was trying to tell him.

"Mac, please," he whispered raggedly. Even though the nearest person was several feet from him and seemed engrossed in their work, he couldn't shake the feeling that every eye in the room was on him. He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue in a more neutral tone, "I don't have much time to talk. There's a storm coming and I have a small window of opportunity for takeoff before they starting canceling all flight activities."

It all sounded perfectly rational and logical to Mac, but she sensed from the way he suddenly shut down, letting nothing creep into his tone at all, that it wasn't his impending takeoff that was prompting him to tell her to get to the point. Suddenly, she lost her nerve and changed the subject. "You're not going to have any problems flying back because of the weather, are you?" she asked, genuinely concerned. She knew about the circumstances of his first crash and it sent a tiny shiver through her, the thought of him flying in less than ideal weather. "It's storming here in Washington and I would imagine the storm is moving in that direction."

As she said it, she looked out her bedroom window at the rain coming down even harder, hearing the rumble of thunder somewhere in the distance. She could imagine him standing near a window on the Patrick Henry – even though she knew that he might not be any place where he would have a view to the outside – watching the night sky himself. Wasn't there a song about something like that, being far apart and wishing on the same star in the sky? Only there were no stars out this night, only the bright flash of lightning and the low rumble of thunder.

"No, I was assured that if I take off within the hour, I'll avoid the path of the storm," he told her confidently. He recognized the diversionary tactic and was somewhat thankful for it. But it was time to end this. "There will be no problem flying to Norfolk. I'll pick up my car at the airfield and drive back to DC in time to catch a few hours sleep before …."

"You don't have to," she said suddenly, startling him.

"Releasing me from my promise, Colonel?" he said without a trace of humor. "How unlike you."

"No, that's not what I meant," she said softly, tears springing to her eyes as she realized that they were crossing their lines of communication again. Again, it was hardly a surprise. She idly wondered how much it had consumed him, the idea that she held his heart and his future in the palm of her hand. And now, with just over twelve hours to go before the wedding was supposed to begin, she realized that Harm really was on the verge – if he wasn't there already – of doing something she'd never known him to do before. He was about to give up hope. "I've realized that I'm in no condition to do this. How can I marry one man when I can't get another man off my mind long enough to concentrate on the wedding?"

"And?" he whispered in reply, afraid to begin hoping again, afraid to believe that this was real, afraid to believe that fate wasn't playing the cruelest of tricks on him.

"And so as soon as I can get a hold of Mic," she continued, "I'm going to tell him that I'm sorry, but that I can't marry him, that he deserves a woman who will make him the center of her universe, not one who …. Well, I probably shouldn't tell him the rest. I'm already going to be hurting him so much. He doesn't need to know, um, everything." She threw herself backwards onto her bed, her eyes brimming with tears. She brushed them away, but they kept forming, as if the cosmos were telling her that she wouldn't be getting off that easily, as if her tears were recompense for the pain she had and would inflict on Harm, on Mic, even on Renee. As for her own pain, she would just have to learn to live with it. It would be a small price to pay, not really high enough to make up for all the pain that would be inflicted on others.

Harm didn't say anything for a long moment as he processed what she'd said. She'd told him that she was going to call off the wedding, but had not said one word about what else she would do. He supposed that it might have been a bit selfish, worrying about what it would mean for him when she was in pain at the thought of breaking another man's heart. Maybe it was the best that he could hope for right now, just the fact that she was not going to get married. After all, the gossip mongers would have a field day as it was with the wedding being called off just hours before the ceremony. He didn't mind for himself, but he minded for her. The pain she would endure over the breakup of a relationship that she'd been prepared to believe would last forever would be hard enough without all the whispers behind her back, the sudden silences when she would walk into a room. "Well, whatever you think is best," he said, shaking his head.

"Harm, I – I don't know," she said, stuttering slightly. "I'm still not sure what to do at this point, not really. All I do know is that Chloe and Harriet are right. I'm not in any condition to do this right now. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever have been, even before the engagement party and …. everything else that happened after that. I need time to really think things through, something I didn't really do, even when I wore the ring on my right hand for ten months. Harm, I know that's probably not the answer that you wanted to hear …."

"Sarah," he said softly, sending shivers down her spine. She loved the way his voice caressed her name. It was probably a good thing he didn't call her 'Sarah' all the time or she might not be able to form a coherent thought in his presence. "I meant what I said about not pressuring you. I want you to do what's best for you."

"Look, I know you said you can't talk long," Mac said, sighing with relief, thankful that he seemed to understand her dilemma. "But I do want to talk to you after you get back. I'm really going to need a friend, I think. I'll understand if you want to keep your distance for the time being, but …."

"I'll always be there for you," he vowed. "I used to think that went without saying, but after everything that's happened the last two years, it's probably not so easy to believe anymore. We don't have to talk about you or me or you and Mic or anything else that you don't want to talk about. I will be there as your friend, whenever you need me."

"Maybe sometime this weekend?" she asked hopefully. "Tomorrow's going to be kind of crazy – there are lots of details to take care of and Mic's …. I know he's not going to be happy about this. He's not going to understand. By Sunday, I'll probably want to get away from it all. Anyway, I'm sure you have things you'll need to take care of as well."

"Yeah," he admitted, thinking of Renee. No matter how things ended up working out with Mac, he knew that he couldn't let that situation go on any further. It wasn't fair to her to keep her on as kind of a stand-by if things didn't work out with Mac. She already suspected that there was something more between him and Mac, so it wouldn't be a complete surprise to her. He just hoped she'd understand enough to let him go. "Well, why don't I see if I can get a fourth ticket to the Orioles came that I'm taking Chloe to on Sunday? I expect that by Sunday, we'll both need some R&R."

Mac smiled at the thought of spending the day with two of her favorite people. And he was right. By Sunday, she'd probably either be ready to have a nervous breakdown or something else equally unworthy of a Marine. "I'd like that a lot," she replied. "And Harm? We will talk – about you and me, I mean. At this point, we can't avoid it and maybe it will help me work things out in my mind."

"Whenever you're ready," he said, realizing the irony. Time was the one thing that she hadn't seemed willing to give him back in Sydney. But that didn't matter any more. Now that he had the opening, he was going to do everything he could to tell and show her how much she meant to him and how much he wanted and needed her in his life.

"Harm, I …." she began, not quite sure what else to say. She shook her head. "Never mind. Just good luck and I'll see you sometime this weekend, I guess."

"I'll see you, Sarah," he replied. He paused for a moment, then added, "If you need someone to talk to tomorrow because things are – I don't know, but you know where to find me if you need me. I'll probably be home most of the day catching up on some sleep, since I'll be spending most of the night getting back to Washington."

"Harm, why don't you just fly to Norfolk and stay the night there?" Mac suggested, worried. "You'll be landing in Norfolk around midnight, right? Do you really want to get in a car and drive three and a half hours back to DC after that? There's no reason to rush back, um, not anymore."

"Yeah, but I want to be there for you if something comes up and you need me," he pointed out. "I'll be fine. I've kept longer hours on some of our investigations."

"True," she admitted. She knew that he was going to come straight back to Washington, regardless of what she said. She chuckled softly at the thought. "Just promise that if you're too tired, you'll find a room in Norfolk for the night or if you get tired while on the road, you'll stop someplace and get some rest."

"Yes, Mom," he teased, lightening the mood considerably. It was almost as if a switch had been thrown, signaling that the conversation they'd been having was over. "I'll be fine. Promise."

"Okay."

They were both silent for a moment, neither quite willing to end the call yet. Then Harm glanced out the windows in the communications center and realized that it was time to go. "I need to get going," he said reluctantly. "Skipper said that if I don't take off by a certain time, I won't be leaving at all, at least not tonight."

"I understand," she replied. "Well, I'll see you. Goodbye, Harm."

"Goodbye, Sarah," he whispered just before he hung up the phone. He leaned against a control panel, watching lightning flash in the distance. "I love you, Sarah." The words came unbidden and he sighed, wondering if he'd someday have the chance – and the courage - to say them to her in person.

-----

Mac wanted to curl up on her bed and forget the rest of the world, but she knew she couldn't. There was too much to do, the first thing being that she needed to get a hold of Mic and let him know that she couldn't get married tomorrow. After that, there wouldn't be much else to do tonight, except for contacting the JAG staff, but she'd need to be up first thing in the morning to begin canceling all the arrangements. She wasn't sure that she could count on Mic to help with that. It was going to be hard enough just to get him to accept that she didn't want to get married.

She picked up the phone again and started to dial Mic's home number before she remembered that he wouldn't be there. Instead, she dialed his cell phone, but got his voice mail after four rings. Sighing, she decided to leave a message.

"Mic, um, as soon as you get this message, please call me," she said, her voice shaking almost imperceptibly. "It doesn't matter what time it is. I have to talk to you and it can't wait until tomorrow. Um, bye." She hung up then went ahead and dialed his home number, leaving the same message on his answering machine.

Clicking the phone off, she tossed it onto the bed and got up, striding into the living room with a sense of purpose. Chloe, who had been pacing behind the couch, stopped mid-stride and both she and Harriet looked at Mac expectantly.

"I need your help, Harriet," Mac said without preamble. "There's not going to be a wedding."

"Yes!" Chloe exclaimed, her voice nearly a shout. "Is that what you told Harm? Are you two going …?"

"Chloe," Mac interrupted firmly. Once Chloe had quieted down, she continued, "Yes, I told Harm, but no, I am not going to immediately jump from Mic to him. I told him that we have a lot to talk about and there are a lot of things that I need to work out in my mind first. He understands that, okay?" Chloe nodded reluctantly.

"Have you told Mic yet?" Harriet asked, sensing that her friend was holding everything in, trying not to think about the enormity of the decision she'd just made. If Mac was nothing else, she was driven and right now, her focus was on canceling all the arrangements with just over twelve hours to go before the wedding. She'd try not to let herself think about everything else until later, probably when she was alone and didn't have to worry about showing weakness in front of anyone, even two of the people closest to her.

She shook her head. "No," she replied. "I tried his cell phone, but got his voice mail. I can't remember if he had it with him at the rehearsal. I left a message there and on his answering machine at home and told him to call me as soon as he got the message, no matter what the time."

"I'm sure Bud has his cell phone with him, Ma'am," Harriet said. "Why don't I call him and have him put Mic on?"

Mac returned to the bedroom for the phone, which she handed to Harriet. After a few moments, she handed it back. "I got Bud's voice mail as well," she said. "Maybe they can't hear their phones ring in the bar or wherever they went. Do you know where they were planning on going? I don't."

"No," Mac replied, shaking her head. "All Mic said was that they were going out. Maybe Alan told Jackie." She went over to her desk and searched through some papers for the JAG phone roster, finally finding it buried under some reports she needed to sign off on, reports she probably should have left for Harm when she'd thought she'd be going on her honeymoon. Quickly, she skimmed over the list until she found Alan's home number and dialed it. After the second ring, Jackie picked up.

"Hello, Jackie, it's Colonel Mackenzie," she said. "Did Alan happen to tell you where all the guys were going tonight? I'm trying to get a hold of Mic and he's not answering his cell phone. He didn't tell me where they were going."

"I'm sorry, Colonel," Jackie replied. "Alan didn't tell me either. He just said not to wait up since he was going to be a designated driver and needed to make sure everyone got home okay. Ready for the big day tomorrow?"

Mac froze, not expecting to face the question of what to tell people this soon. Swallowing hard, she replied vaguely, "Is anyone ever ready for that?"

"I guess not," Jackie said with a laugh. "I remember that feeling. Anyway, I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

"Thanks anyway," Mac replied, then hung up. She looked at Harriet and sighed. "Alan didn't tell her either."

"Alan and Jackie, they are the Mattonis, right?" Chloe asked. At Mac's nod, she went on, "Why didn't you just tell Jackie that the wedding's off so they don't get up and try to go to the church tomorrow?"

"Because I need to get a hold of Mic first and let him know," she said. "I don't need everyone else finding out before him. If I can't get a hold of him immediately, he shouldn't have to find out through scuttlebutt."

"Do you think he's going to try to talk you out of it?" Chloe asked, concerned after what Mac had told them about the day she'd accepted Mic's proposal. She didn't want Mic to turn on the charm and try to talk Mac out of the decision she'd just made and she was afraid that he would.

"Probably," Mac admitted. "He loves me and this will be hard for him to accept, but I can't do this anymore. You, Harriet and Harm – all of you were right when you said I need to do what's best for me. For so long, I've been just going along with the flow, accepting what Mic wants and burying anything that might be contrary to that." She sank into a chair and sighed. "I wish I'd admitted that months ago before things got this far gone."

"So what did Harm call for?" Chloe asked, ready to change the subject away from Mic.

"He wanted to let me know that he's getting ready to leave the Patrick Henry," she replied. "He's been given a small window to take off in order to beat a storm that's heading that way. He's flying to Norfolk then will pick up his car at the airfield and drive back to Washington. By the way, Chloe, looks like you'll have a fourth person for the baseball game Sunday."

"Harm invited you to join us?" Chloe enthused. "You know, Dad and I could just stay here and you and Harm could go."

"Chloe, this is not a date," Mac said firmly. She wasn't ready for that. No, Chloe and her father being present would give her a kind of safety net, would prevent any conversation from getting too deep before she was ready. "I'm not ready for that and Harm understands. We're just going as friends. I don't know what's going to happen with Harm. There's a lot that we need to work out between us and after being involved with Mic for so long, I could probably use some time to myself without having to worry about …. romantic entanglements. I need to figure out some things about Sarah Mackenzie before I can bring someone else into the mix."

Chloe looked disappointed, the romantic in her expecting Mac to immediately turn to Harm for love and support. But Harriet nodded in understanding. "That's probably not a bad angle to approach this from," she mused. "I'm sure you want to avoid, um …."

"The same mistakes I've made in every other romantic relationship I've ever had?" Mac finished the thought. Harriet flushed slightly, but nodded. "It's okay. I do want to be able to work things out with Harm. I don't want to doom us by repeating past mistakes. For the first time in my life, I want to be sure."

Harriet smiled widely. "If you're sure, then there should be no reason why it won't work out," she assured her friend. "I do want you to know that your friends will be here for you."

"Thank you, Harriet," Mac said, her tone a bit uncertain. She wasn't used to so many people being there for her. She knew she had friends, but she still wasn't accustomed to such unconditional and unwavering support.

"Promise you'll call me if you need anything?" Harriet asked. She picked up AJ, who had fallen asleep on the couch while Mac had been in the bedroom, and cradled him in her arms. "I really should get this little one home. I'll give you a call tomorrow morning and you can let me know what you need me to do to help cancel everything."

"I appreciate that, Harriet," she replied, taking AJ from his mother while Harriet got her coat. "I'm not sure how much Mic's going to be willing to help out with that." She kissed her godson and handed him back after Harriet had pulled her coat on. "Drive safely. It looks like the storm's picking up."

Once Harriet had gone, she turned and looked at Chloe. "Why don't you grab your coat and I'll take you back to your hotel?" she suggested. "I think I need to get out of the apartment for a while."

"Mac, everything will work out," Chloe assured her, smiling. "You'll see. You and Harm are meant to be together. I wish it were going to be now, but I guess I understand why you want to move slowly. Just remember to let me know when you need a flower girl again."

Mac couldn't help but smile at her sister's enthusiasm. For the first time in so long, she actually felt like smiling. "We're nowhere near that point," she protested. "But someday, maybe …."

-----

USS PATRICK HENRY

"Hey, Hammer," Skates greeted him as met him in the corridor just past communications, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder. "I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"I'm ready," Harm replied. Not really, he told himself, but at least he knew that he wasn't returning only to watch the woman he loved slip away from him forever. He just had to try to have a little faith that the rest would work out eventually. "I just need to stop by my quarters and grab my bag. Griggs is already going over the Tomcat, so it should be ready to go when we are."

As they walked towards the section where Harm's temporary quarters had been, Skates noticed that his manner, if not as easy-going as usual, was more relaxed that it had been when she'd seen him earlier. "So, CAG said you were making a phone call," she began cautiously, prepared for him to evade the topic.

"I called Mac and let her know that I was getting ready to leave," he said, glancing back at her with a look that said he knew what she was up to. For some reason, he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed to talk to someone about it. Really, he needed to talk to Mac about it, but she wasn't around and God only knew when they would get the chance to talk – or when they would be ready to talk.

"So is she ready for the big day?" she asked.

Before Harm could reply, they were joined in the corridor by his former roommate, Tuna. "Is who ready for the big day?" he asked.

"Remember Colonel Mackenzie?" Skates asked. "Hammer's partner at JAG? She's getting married tomorrow."

"Not someone else getting married," Tuna exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "You haven't been here, Hammer, but Skates has been driving all of us crazy talking non-stop about her wedding plans. It must be something in the air."

"I doubt it," Harm replied with a perfectly straight face, remembering that Mac had never gone on and on about her own wedding plans. Not that she didn't drive people – or a certain person – crazy with talk of the wedding, any talk of the wedding. She'd just rarely talked about it. Maybe she'd known how much it had hurt him, even if it had only been subconsciously. "Mac is not getting married."

Skates stopped short, the dots suddenly connecting themselves in her mind. It seemed so obvious now. He'd been in a pretty depressed mood until he'd spoken to Mac and had learned that she wasn't going to get married. Suddenly, while his mood may not have been quite happy-go-lucky, he was definitely in better spirits than he'd been. "Is that what you were talking about when you said that there was something going on that was out of your hands?" she asked.

So Hammer has a thing for his JAG partner, she mused silently. The information might have been surprising, but somehow wasn't. He was a charming man and if she hadn't already been taken and he hadn't been a senior officer, she probably could have fallen for him herself. She could easily see how even a straight-laced Marine might not be immune to him.

Harm leaned back against the wall and sighed, his eyes going from Skates to Tuna, both of whom were watching him expectantly. "It's complicated," he said, "and that's all I'm going to say right now. There are still a lot of things to work out and a few wrinkles, not the least of which is her ex-fiancé, who is not going to be happy to hear that the wedding is off twelve hours before the ceremony was supposed to start."

"Who was she marrying anyway?" Tuna asked. He wasn't surprised at all to hear that Harm had feelings for Mac. He'd roomed with the guy for six months. He'd seen the look in his eyes when he'd talked about her. He'd seen the pictures that Harm had kept in his lock box, had caught him staring at them more than once with an expression he suspected had been regret.

"Remember Commander Brumby?" Harm said, barely managing to keep the distaste out of his tone.

"You mean that smug Aussie who was your co-counsel on Buxton's case?" Tuna asked incredulously. He hadn't really had any contact with the man when he'd been aboard for that court-martial, but he'd seen the frustration in Harm when he'd been forced to work with the guy. He also knew the man had taken Harm's place at JAG when he'd left. Intellectually, he supposed that his perception of the Australian was colored by Harm's attitude towards him. He knew Harm did not like the man.

"That would be him," Harm answered with a sigh. "It's a long story and that's all I'm going to say on the subject." His firm tone left no room for discussion.

"Whatever you say, Hammer," Tuna said with a shrug. Suddenly, he smiled as inspiration struck. "You're going to Skates' wedding, right? Bring the Colonel with you."

Harm didn't have to ask who he was talking about. He should have known the subject wouldn't be dropped. He probably wouldn't have if the situation had been reversed. "I don't know if Mac's going to want to go anywhere near a wedding anytime soon," he said emphatically. He wasn't sure about that one, even if she was willing to attend. Could friends of the opposite sex attend an event like a wedding together and not have everyone assume there was something more there? Sure, they'd been together a lot during Bud and Harriet's wedding, but that had been in their roles as best man and maid of honor. He was mindful of what Mac had said about needing time. Would inviting her to attend a wedding with him be too much, too soon? Or maybe he was just scared that she would watch someone else getting married and experience regrets about what might have been - what she'd turned her back on. Couldn't anything about their relationship ever be simple? Right, he told himself with a mental shake of his head, if it had been simple, maybe it would have been your engagement you'd been celebrating a few weeks ago, as she'd suggested. "I'll mention it to her."

"Just ignore Tuna," Skates said with a laugh. "He probably can't remember the last time a woman looked at him twice."

"Hey!" Tuna protested, punching her arm lightly.

Harm smiled as he listened to them. He could remember when that had been him, Mac and Bud, laughing and joking like that. Webb had called them the Three Musketeers once and they had been – all for one and one for all – right up until he'd decided to chase another dream. His and Mac's relationship was still recovering and even his friendship with Bud had changed to a certain extent. It was funny in a way. During his first tour of duty at JAG, he'd belonged there more than he ever thought he would. Then, he'd returned to carrier duty to find that he didn't fit in quite as well as he had before, as well as he'd thought he would. He was too old and had been out of the game too long. Then he'd returned to the placed he'd realized he truly belonged and hadn't fit in there either, not for a long time. Sometimes, what he wouldn't give for a time machine to go back and do it all over again. Then he wouldn't have been walking through the corridors of an aircraft carrier, consumed with thoughts of how out of control his life had been for the last two years. At least right now it seemed that his life had nowhere to go but up.

-----

"Commander, Lieutenant," Griggs said, saluting Harm and Skates as they stepped out onto the flight deck. The wind had picked up considerably, Harm guessing that it that it was gusting around gale force. It wasn't a problem – the Tomcat was designed to be able to fly through hurricane conditions and, at any rate, the winds would be even stronger at the level they would be flying. Nor was the light rain that was beginning to fall a concern. The weather the night of his crash had been worse than what they were currently experiencing and he'd been told their flight path and the path of the storm would not intersect. That was all he needed to know.

"Griggs," Harm replied, returning the salute. "Are we ready to go?" Griggs, who had been his plane captain at the end of his tour aboard the Patrick Henry, had jumped at the chance to service Harm's plane again. He was still grateful to him for saving him from a Captain's Mast, or worse, after a mishap with Lieutenant Buxton's plane.

"Everything checks out, Sir," Griggs answered, nearly shouting to be heard above the wind, as they made their towards the lone Tomcat on deck, all other planes having either having been relocated to the hangar deck in preparation for the coming suspension of flight operations or still on their way back in from flight, the CAG having given the call for all planes to return to the ship as he'd been leaving the bridge earlier. "She's good to go."

"Thank you, Griggs," Harm said, offering his hand.

"It was an honor to watch over your bird again, Sir," Griggs said. "It was good to have you back."

"It was good to be back," Harm said with a smile. He took a nostalgic look around the flight deck. He did still miss it sometimes. Shaking his head, he turned to Skates. "Let's get this bird in the air before the air boss changes his mind."

"I'm with you, Sir," she answered, tossing her gear into the Tomcat and climbing into the rear seat, strapping in. Harm took one last look around before climbing in himself. The canopy lowered as he began running through his pre-flight checklist.

"You still miss it sometimes, don't you, Sir?" Skates asked, having caught the wistful gaze as he'd looked around.

"Yeah, sometimes," he admitted softly, his words easily heard through the comm gear despite the roar of the engines as they powered up. "What about you? I heard you're going to be leaving once you get married."

"I'm sure I'll miss it, but he's worth it," she said confidently. Harm couldn't help but smile sadly, wishing he'd been that smart two years ago. Why couldn't he have admitted then that there was someone who meant more to him than his wings? Where was that time machine again?

He took a breath, his face becoming an unreadable mask. He had a job to do now and it was time to focus on that. He flipped on his radio. "Tower, this is Tomcat 241 requesting permission to depart."

"Tomcat 241, you have permission to depart from catapult two," came the reply from the air boss. Harm taxied the jet into position, and then waited while the hold-back bar was put into place. Once the crew stepped back, he turned his head to the left and saluted the catapult officer. Seconds later, Harm and Skates were jolted back in their seats as the catapult launched the Tomcat into the pitch black night.

-----

To be continued…