Gravity Toons

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Hey kids! Bugs bunny here! Do you know what I like to do at the end of the day?

Eat a bowl of Uncle Sov's Turnip fungus supreme! Now with 75% less Red Tide poisoning!

(Click)

Daffy Duck sighed as he shut off the TV. "Well it's official...we've hit rock bottom." Bugs glared at him. "Hey, it put food on the table! Remind me again when the last time you hooked a paying gig?"

The third occupant of the couch(Willy E. Coyote) sighed. He looked around at all the other occupants of Foghorn Leghorns Cartoon Retirement home. So many familiar faces: Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Porky, tweety...Whoever said that cartoons never aged...never saw this sorry lot...if it got any livelier a funeral would break out! Willy sighed, he couldn't even laugh at his own jokes anymore!...it all seemed so pointless.

He turned to his long time co-workers "Guys, what happened to us? We used to be the most popular cartoons in the world!...Now were just a bunch of washed up has-beans!"

Bugs also sighed. "It's no real mystery...the world doesn't want formulaic, status-quo driven slapstick anymore...They want gritty realism, expansive world-building, character development that lasts longer than one episode, Stories that make people think and will push the boundaries of what's allowed on TV."

Bugs got off the couch and headed for the door to get the newspaper. "Face the facts guys...the world just doesn't need us anymore." He says as he opened the door...revealing a creepy, tall man in a business suite, sprouting multiple slender arms, radiated terror and malevolence, and had no face.

Bugs sighed. "If your here for the gas bill were gonna need a couple more weeks to pay it...

…...

The creepy man introduced himself as 'Stanley, Lender, Man.' He explains how he's here to offer all the looney toons a new job: 'Teaching the next generation of cartoons.'

He reveals a basket revealing two twin babies. "These are Dipper and Mabel Pines. At the age of 12 they were supposed be sent by their parents to a rinky-dink town called 'Gravity Falls' to begin their series; which I'm told will be a popular show that'll 'represent everything that's going great with the new generation of cartoons'...or something like that...Unfortunately their parents died recently in a car crash-"

"They crashed their car!?" Shouted several toons. Stanley smirked as he reminisced-

…...

The Pines couple screamed as they were run over repeatably by Stanley...

…...

-"Something like that." Admitted Stanley slyly. Foghorn snorted. "Cartoons these days...filling their shows with tragedy just to get the plot moving...It's disgraceful! Why in my day we only needed good-old fashioned comedy to get by!"

Stanley shrugged. "Yes, well in any case...Here's my offer: I pay to have you all relocated to Gravity Fall woods. You raise and teach these two about being a toon 'your way'. And in exchange all your expenses for the next 12 years until their show starts properly. After that you'll be on your own I'm afraid...

The toons frown. They look at the twins...they look at their roach motel house..."Where do we sign?" They all ask at once.

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

Based on a story suggestion made by StoriesUnleashed

AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.

But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?

Love me, flame me, review me