Author's note:

Yes. I watched that first episode.

Yes. I am not pleased.

Yes. This is my way to ease that frustration.

A huge thank you to Remasa for encouraging comments and cleaning my typos and word missuse ;)

= This work contains spoilers for MLB season 2 =

...

Hawkie, I'm home!

...

Gabriel Agreste often fell asleep in his office, working late hours to make up for all the time he had to spend in purple suit and silver hooded mask. Which quite frankly always made him sweat like a sinner in church thus messing up his carefully trimmed hair. He was sure it was Nooroo's secret act of defiance.

Just like a moth, Gabriel was a light sleeper. That's why he started when he heard the creak of the painting hiding the safe with the most valuable of his possessions. He blinked away the disturbing dream still lurking behind his eyelids as soon as he heard the safe door slamming shut. The man barely managed to straighten up when he felt a hand smacking the back of his head.

'Wake up, you pathetic excuse for a villain!'

He knew that voice.

'Adele?!' Gabriel jumped to his feet and turned around to face the newcomer, his face lighting up and smile spreading across his face. 'You're back!'

'Yeah, yeah, I'm back,' his wife replied in a bored tone. 'And let me tell you I'm not exactly pleased with what I find in Paris.'

The designer blinked again, this time in surprise. 'What do you mean? I did everything you told me to do.'

'Oh, really?' Adele spat. 'Then you surely already have Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous?'

Gabriel opened his mouth to reply but discovered he didn't really have anything to say in his defense. He set his jaw and put on his official expressionless face.

'Really, Hawk Moth? I'm so disappointed,' Adele scoffed. 'Here I am, so lonely in those damn mountains, risking my health if not my life, getting my hands all dirty, while you...' she grabbed a pile of his latest designs from his desk and threw them up with an irritated huff. As they gently drifted to the floor she rubbed the bridge of her nose and zeroed her gaze on him. 'I thought you'd be long done when I get back from Tibet. And we're still stuck with only two miraculous in this house!'

'Three,' he mumbled under his breath.

'What was that?'

'I said, we have three miraculous in this house,' Gabriel drawled through clenched teeth.

'Oh, so you've managed to get another one?' his wife perked up. 'Which is it? Bee?' She opened the miraculous book and began flipping through the pages. 'Or the Fox one? I recall seeing some reports about someone called Volpina.'

'Um, no. That was my akuma.'

'So you have the Turtle then,' Adele's eyes lit at the thought of potential gains that came with that particular jewel. She was already browsing through Turtle miraculous section.

'Not exactly,' her husband hunched and hung his head.

'Gabriel,' Adele growled clenching her fists, 'I swear to god-'

'It's the black cat,' he said quickly. 'I have the black cat.'

His wife nodded, clearly impressed. 'Show me.'

'I can't,' he mumbled not meeting her eyes.

'You can't? Where is it then?'

'Adrien has it.' He nodded slightly in the direction of their son's bedroom.

'You've let Adrien in onto our plans?' Adele frowned. 'He's far too young for that! And why did you let him have the ring?'

'I didn't let him,' the designer grumbled rolling his eyes. 'He got it himself.'

It took a moment for Madame Agreste to take all that in, but when it sunk…

'Are you fucking kidding me here, Gabe?! I left you with One. Simple. Task,' she seethed. 'You had One. Job. And you let our son get his own miraculous and side up against us!?' she whisper yelled with so much venom that Gabriel swore the air became a bit yellow.

She smacked him behind the ear once more.

'Owww, what was that for?!' he spluttered indignantly, while something snickered in his pocket. He made a mental note to pick less tasty fruits for a few days.

'You're a disaster!' Adele huffed irritably.

'Come on, it wasn't that bad,' Gabriel reasoned.

'You old fool!' she hissed narrowing her eyes at him. 'You could have those miraculous so many times! In this house! On a plate! Handed to you!'

'Now you act like this is a piece of cake!' The designer finally felt the irritation building up. There was only so much scolding he could take, even from his beloved missus. 'Well, let me tell you-'

'Puh-leah-se,' Adele cut him off. 'To name just a few most blatant of your fails: one,' she extended a finger. 'Lady Wifi. Why on earth did you tell her to make Ladybug call the Lucky Charm instead of just taking those damn earrings off?!'

Gabriel pursed his lips.

'Two,' a second slender digit followed the first one. 'Simon Says. You got yourself hypnotized by your own akuma! In front of cameras!'

Gabriel balled his fists.

'Three,' his wife smirked at him and shivers run down his spine. 'The Collector. I admit it seemed like a stroke of genius. But. You could have taken those miraculous yourself,' Adele threw her arms in the air. 'All you needed to do was activate that stupid defense system while you had the heroes here and they would have no way of escaping you! They used up their powers and were about to detransform!' she ranted and Gabriel paled, realizing how much he screwed up.

Adele was now officially a hurricane. 'And don't even get me started on all of those times you got our son killed or nearly killed!' She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. 'How could you know Adrien was Chat Noir and still send akuma after akuma?! What kind of father does that?!'

'But… you told me to…' All blood drew away from the designers face, probably in an attempt to get as far from Adele as possible.

'I never told you to put him at risk! How do I even have to explain such a thing to you?' she finally sank to the sofa.

'I can't believe you,' she sighed. 'So many opportunities. Wasted. So many dumb moves.'

Adele took out the peacock brooch and fastened it to her blazer. She fixed her husband with a stern stare. 'Time to clean up this mess,' she declared. 'We'll start by taking away our precious son's jewelry, so that he's not at risk of hurting himself. Seriously Gabe, what the hell were you thinking?!'

Gabriel chewed his bottom lip, colors slowly making their way back to his face. His wife stood up.

'Come on, dear,' Adele's face finally smoothed into a mild smile. She extended her hand. 'I'll let you watch how it's supposed to be done.'

AN: I hope you liked it. Please let me know. I appreciate your reviews, favs and follows. They give me life!

Check out my other stories and visit me on tumblr (perditaalottachocolate-blog). I tend to post sneak peeks of the stories I'm working on and share mostly miraculous content.