Hey, first time posting anything. This is just meant to be a little joke so please don't take it too seriously.

You're A Targaryen, Jon.

Bran and Samwell tell Jon the truth, he does not take it well (Parody of you're a Wizard Harry)

"You're a Targaryen Jon". Bran revealed

"I'm a... WHAT?!" He looked at both of them incredulously.

"Jon, you're a Targaryen." Samwell tries to explain

"I'm a what?!"

"A Targaryen, Jon."

"I'm a Targaryen?!"

"Yes Jon, you're a Targaryen." Sam was pleased he seemed to be getting it, momentarily.

"But I'm just Jon Snow!."

"Well, "Just Jon Snow", you're a Targaryen." Continued Bran.

"But I'm just Jon Snow!"

"No, "Just Jon Snow", you - are a Targaryen!" He repeated, sick of arguing over this.

"Listen here Bran I'm just Jon!"

"NO! Jon, you are Aegon Targaryen!"

"I'm not Aegon Targaryen, Bran, I'm just Jon!"

"Listen Jon, you are a Targaryen!"

"No Samwell, I'm just Jon!"

"Jon, for god's sake, you are Aegon Targaryen!"

"A Targaryen?! I'm just Jon!"

"Nooo, "Just Jon"! You're a Targaryen."

"I'm not a Targaryen, Sam, I'm just Jon!."

"Noooooo. Just Jon. You are a Targaryen."

"I'm not a Targaryen, Samwell!"

"JON, you are a Targaryen!" He insisted.

"Listen here Samwell you FAT OAF! I'm not a FUCKING TARGARYEN!"

"For god's sake Jon! what is with this language?! You're a FUCKING TARGARYEN."

"I don't give a FUCK you FAT HAIRY BASTARD! I'm not a FUCKING TARGARYEN!" Jon yelled back at them both.

"Listen Jon, you're going to ride a dragon and take your place on the iron throne. And you're going to be FUCKING pleased about it!"

"I don't WANT to be your FUCKING King you BASKET CASE! Stick it up your fucking DICK-HOLE!"

"My fucking WHAT?!" Asked Bran, he hadn't expected this outburst at all.

"BRAN, y'er pushing me over the FUCKING line!"

"No I'm not. You are a TARGARYEN! You're going to stop fucking your aunt, you're going to be King, you'll get a crown, you'll get a fucking dragon, it'll fly you round Westeros - DEAL WITH IT. YA TWAT."

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING PUT MY DICK IN THE DRAGON!" Yelled Jon, who was moving his arms in a frightening and unnatural motion now.

"I tried that earlier, and that was a bad move. You, are a TARGARYEN." Bran responded to his cousin.

"I'm a WHAT?!"

"YOU'RE A TARGARYEN JON, FOR FUCK SAKE, LISTEN TO MEH!"

"Samwell, Bran I've been through this I don't give a BLOODY FUCK WHAT YOU BOTH THINK."

"This is NOT negotiable! You come with me you CURLY-HAIRED CUT FUCK SMALL DICK SKINNY CUNT EAT MORE WANKER"

"I'LL FUCKING SET YER BEARD ON FIRE!" He threatened at Samwell.

"'MON THEN YA LITTLE CUNT, SQUARE-GO LIKE!"

"I'LL FUCKING BURST YE'"

"Right you, you little wank stain. If you don't get your act together, I'm gonna drag you to your aunt. You'll get a Crown, you'll get a Dragon that'll deliver your SHITEY ass round Westeros and that'll be that and you'll enjoy it ya' sch-ch-ff-auhhssh-auntfucker."

"I'll fucking GNAW yer ARM off, BRAN!""

"Listen you, get near my arm and I'll slap you across the face like a little BITCH"

"I'll PUMP ye' SILLY."

"C'MON THEN YA CUNT." Sam stood ready to fight now.

"SUCK MAH PIXIE DICK YA CHUBBY TWAT"

"I'll RUPTURE YOUR FUCKING ANUS WITH MAH MASSIVE BEAR COCK"

"I'll RIP YER GIANT DICK OFF AND BASH YE ACROSS THE JAW WITH IT"

"LET'S GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON YA LITTLE WANK."

Authors note: Hope I put this in the right category, please tell me if otherwise and I will correct myself.

Update as per a reviewer's suggestion I have edited some of the wording in regards to mail.

Update Noticed some more mistakes and corrected them.