A/N; I think I've found my fandom at least for writing :) I've fallen in love with NCIS recently and as happens when I love something, fanfiction demands to be written. But unlike most fandoms I'm finishing the ones I do for NCIS. I just love the characters. Gibbs is perfection :) This was supposed to be a drabble but instead it's kind of a series of drabbles based on Gibbs thoughts during the major turning points in the season two episode 'Chained'. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer; I do not own NCIS or any of the characters I just like to borrow them when I'm supposed to be studying. :) I'm also a pennyless student so there's no point in sueing. :D
Stupid. How the hell did I ever let him talk me into this! He knows how to get around me, always has, from that first case in Baltimore. But I knew it was a bad idea. Knew it in my gut. That's another reason why this was a stupid idea, I never go against a feeling. But Tony presented a fool proof plan, Abby ensured us that she could track him. But before it had even started it began to go wrong. He was there and then he wasn't. When we got that call from Abby saying he'd been in a crash, I broke even my own speed limits, terrified he would prove that my gut was full proof. For the first time in my life, I didn't want it to be.
He's not dead, no not DiNozzo. He's not in that smashed truck so he's still alive. I haven't lost him yet. I have time to make this right, to fix my mistake. But will he be the same person if, no when I get him back. There's been too much that's gone wrong for this to be a coincidence, I don't believe in coincidences.
He might be in there, in that house. I have to stop myself from rushing in. What if he's hurt, my mind begins to race. Kate may know I'm worried but I can't let it show, I can't admit it or I won't be any use. When we find the bloody sheets, my mind goes blank. I can't allow myself to think because if I do it'll be real. There's too much blood, but no body. There is still a chance but I see Kate stop on the verge her face ashen. No it isn't, it can't be, and it isn't him. It's somebody else. I don't hesitate to remind Ducky of this as he begins to doubt DiNozzo. It's not him. But it could have been.
But now we know he's with a psychopath. A man responsible for a triple homicide. When I find DiNozzo he's never going on so much as a coffee run again.
Another lead, no one is this lucky, but then I don't believe in luck. The phone again. This is the third time he'd rung me when he either needs help before or after the call. Each time as a result of my order. Do I think before assigning these tasks. Do this DiNozzo, Do that DiNozzo. Others would say it's what he signed up for. Not me, this is my fault, but I can burn half a boat later and drown myself in bourbon. No I have to save him, again.
As I approach the car, I don't notice it at first, the blood. But when I do mine runs cold and still I approach. I can make out a DiNozzo sized form slumped in the driver's seat now and as my heart thumps in my mouth I reach for the door handle. He's sitting there, not moving, not breathing and in that moment I begin to unravel, but just as the threads begin to fray, he moves and looks at me with a sadness so deep and raw that I wonder again whether he will ever be the same man.
"I really liked him"
"I can see that"
It's not kind, it's not caring and it doesn't convey any of the emotions or feelings I've been having for the past two days, but he knows, he knows me. He knows me better than most people and anything else would have worried him further, made him think something really was wrong. I gave him a hand up into normality, into reality after days of living in fantasy. Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but it helped a man today. He'll be ok. We both will.
Hope you enjoyed please review!