The Doctor + Domestic stuff = hilarity in my mind.
And yes, I'm a major TenRose fan. They're just so darn cute together!
Please read and review.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, but I do own an impressive collection of Converse shoes...
The doors to the TARDIS burst open and the Doctor and Rose practically tumbled inside. She was laughing, her breath slightly ragged from all the running she just did. He on the other hand wasn't laughing, perhaps partially due to the fact that she was laughing at him.
"Oh my god, your face!" She blurted out between breaths, pointing at the tall lanky man as he dragged himself into the chair next to the console. His thin face was streaked with orange slime and the more he tried to wipe it off with his hands the more it seemed to stick. He even managed to get a good portion of slime in his hair (of which he usually took particular care of) and on his clothing.
"Y'know, some warning would have been nice! You had a good view of the creature! You could've warned me when it was about to…" He trailed off, trying to find the correct term. "Well… vomit." Rose's laughter peaked again as he rubbed at his face some more. She stepped closer behind him and examined his hair.
"You did say you always wanted to be ginger."
"Yes, but NOT like this!" He cried. "I've never been vomited on before… well actually once in the seventeen hundreds… well… twice… well, he was really drunk. Destroyed my shoes too – gah!" His gaze travelled down to his once white Converses which were now stained orange. "Blimey! Not again! Those were my favouite pair!"
"You've got more than one pair of those?" Rose wondered out loud. He looked up and narrowed his eyes at her. She just smiled back. "You better get that stuff outta your hair before it dries." She suggested as she gently poked at one of his sideburns. He sighed as his face softened somewhat. Rose was right, as she so often was. That's what he adored about her.
"Oh, I dunno." He shrugged, finally cracking a smile. "I think I like the colour." Rose laughed again, and this time he joined her. He jumped out of the chair and ran towards the corridor. "Back in a tick!" He called over his shoulder. "After I get cleaned up, I'll take you to Xalaxious Minor. Fancy a trip? Brilliant place! Nothing there to puke on you, and it's got the most fantastic architecture you'll ever see in your life! Plus on the northern continent there's this place where you can…" Rose strained to listen to the last of that sentence but he was already too far down the hall to be heard properly.
She casually walked around the console waiting for the Doctor to return, bushing her hand gently over the controls, being careful not to press any of the buttons. (A few of which he warned that if pressed, the galaxy may implode in on itself.) She seemed to have picked up his habit of stroking bits of the TARDIS, and she slowly began to realise why. This ship, as odd as it sounds, seemed to like it. Sometimes if you placed your hands just so on the controls or the time rotor itself the TARDIS would emit a strange sound like it was trying to speak to you. It startled Rose the first time, but he just smiled and looked at her with his then steel blue eyes and told her in his thick Northern accent: "She likes you!" She thought he was just teasing her at first, but over time she started to believe he was telling the truth.
Rose sighed as she began to realise the Doctor was taking far longer than she hoped to return. That gunk must be more stubborn than he was. She reached around the time rotor and grabbed the scanner hoping to tune into some television signal to distract herself with until the Doctor returned but before she could her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and smiled at the call display.
Mum.
Rose quickly punched the receive button and pressed the phone to her ear. "Hello?" She smiled.
"Oh, don't you sound so cheerful? Actually have an adventure where you didn't nearly die in the process?" Her mum sounded happy despite the sarcasm.
"What's the fun in that?" Rose didn't see any harm in returning sarcasm for sarcasm. "Well, the Doctor did get puked on… long story. Not mine. We're safe and everything. No need to worry."
"It's my job to worry, dear." Jackie replied dryly, "Anyways, I was thinkin' 'haven't seen you two in a while'. Why don't you two pop 'round for tea or something?" Rose bit her lip realising that this wasn't the first time in a short while she received such an invitation.
"I've told you, mum, he doesn't really do this sort of thing."
"Well he did for Christmas."
"That's – that's different."
"How is it so different? What's so wrong with sittin' down to a nice home cooked meal from time to time? Lord only knows what kind of stuff you eat on a daily basis." Rose involuntarily chuckled at that remark. The cuisine had been quite interesting.
"It's not that bad…"
"Please come 'round. It really has been a while since I've seen you, sweetheart." Rose sighed as she began to feel a bit guilty dodging her mum's dinner invites.
"I'll ask him." She said at last.
"Ask me what?" Rose nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the Doctor's voice. She turned on her heel to see him walking up the ramp into the console room looking much cleaner than earlier (although his hair looked even more ridiculous sans alien vomit, and just how many versions of the same pinstripe suit and Converses did he own?). She playfully punched his arm in revenge for scaring her, and he just smiled.
"Mum wants us 'round for tea." His smile vanished.
"Oh."
"You comin'?"
"No."
"Mum, we'll be there in an hour." Rose spoke into her phone, much to the Doctor's horror.
"Rose!" It was too late, she'd already hung up. "What'cha do that for?!" He seemed more scared than angry. Rose wagged her finger at him.
"We've been dodging her invitations for weeks. Now I think she's getting desperate. I don't think she's doing so well now that Mickey's gone. I think she's lonely."
"Well if she's lonely I would have thought she would have found a…" Rose shot him a stern look, and he realised he should probably shut up before finishing that thought.
"Doctor, she's my mum. I sometimes feel bad leaving her behind while we go off travelling."
"Do you regret coming with me?" The Doctor asked, his tone absolutely serious. His question caught her completely off guard. Rose looked up into his deep brown eyes and could see the hurt behind his words. No matter how lonely her mother was, she wondered how lonely he would be if she left him. Plus, she couldn't imagine her life anymore without him. She cared for him in a way she hadn't cared for anyone in a long time, even more than Mickey. She desperately wanted to tell him, but didn't know how. She shook her head.
"No, I love…" (His hearts nearly stopped while anticipating the next word), "…travelling with you. it's just… I miss her too sometimes. Just a couple hours, Doctor. That's all. Then I promise we can go somewhere more fun." He turned and leaned heavily against the console, staring into the teal light of the time rotor for a long moment. He could feel her sad eyes staring at him. He couldn't stand seeing her sad. He cared for her too much. He wished he could tell her just how much, but he feared what would happen if he did.
Jackie just scared him to death for some unknown reason.
"Oh, I'm going to regret this…" He sighed as he engaged the TARDIS engines. The floor lurched beneath their feet as part of the engine stalled. The Doctor seemed to take more than a little pleasure out of using some "percussive maintenance" on the console. At least he had something to vent his frustration out on. He would just never admit to Rose that he sometimes imagined Jackie's face when he struck the console with one of his mallets. Rose drew near and hugged his arm once the rocky ride was over.
"Thank you." She whispered as she nuzzled his shoulder fondly. He leaned into her slightly, catching a whiff of her blonde hair. It smelled of strawberries.
"Don't mention it." He smiled down at her before making his way towards the door. She released her grip on his arm, but he caught her hand in his before she could lower it completely. She absently brushed her thumb up and down against his as he tightened his grip. They walked hand-in-hand outside the Police Box doors and Rose was relieved to find that they did indeed land just outside the Powell Estate and not some alien planet.
"Y'know, I'm not really clear on some human customs when it comes to attending dinners. Shouldn't we be bringing some chocolates or a bottle of wine or something?" Rose hugged his arm again and chuckled.
"Probably best we don't bring her any booze. You haven't seen her when she's had a few. Once she woke up the entire neighbourhood singing 'la Cucaracha'." The Doctor burst out laughing as he imagined that scenario. Funnily enough, he didn't have to imagine that hard.
They entered the Estate and bounded up the stairs to Rose's flat. They found the door unlocked and Rose burst in excitedly first and the Doctor shuffled in after her.
"Mum! It's us!" Rose shouted happily. Jackie popped her head out of the kitchen door with a slightly annoyed look on her face.
"You said an hour! It's nearly been two! Some time machine you got there…" Jackie swept her daughter into a tight hug, her annoyance seeming to melt away. The Doctor scratched at his ear in embarrassment.
"Yeah… co-ordinates may have – err - slipped a little. Still, better than kidnapping her for a year, eh?" He chuckled nervously. Rose shot him her best 'you did this on purpose, didn't you?' look and he just shrugged innocently. Jackie smiled and grabbed him into a hug too.
"At least you got her 'ere safe!" Jackie replied. Rose chuckled watching them. Jackie had her arms firmly around his neck and his arms were flailing everywhere seemingly uncertain of what to do with them. After a long (and exceedingly uncomfortable from the Doctor's perspective if his cries of "please put me down" were any indication) moment, Jackie released him from the hug. And just when he thought he had the all clear to go find somewhere to sit, Jackie grabbed his face and brought it close to hers. He closed his eyes, fearing the worst.
"Good to see you 'aven't changed your face again." He opened one eye, just an inspection. Good. Jackie playfully slapped his cheek and finally let him go. "It was really hard when people kept asking me 'where did that strange bloke in the leather coat go?'!" Jackie turned to walk back into the kitchen to tend to the food on the stove.
"So what did you say?" the Doctor called after her, genuinely curious. He doubted she really understood the dynamics of Time Lord Regeneration.
"Said you went home. Shame though… some people 'round here thought you were rather attractive." Jackie smiled knowingly. The Doctor inwardly shuddered as he recalled the first time he'd met her and her ham-fisted attempt to flirt with him. Despite his uneasiness a spark of indignation flared in him. He turned to Rose and asked quietly:
"Is she saying I'm not attractive anymore?" Rose looked up at him, unconsciously biting her lip. She patted his shoulder and smiled.
"Nah, you're fine." He smiled back, one of his more flirty smiles that never failed to make her melt a bit inside.
"You mean 'fine' or 'fiiiine'?" He whispered.
"Quiet you!" Rose burst out laughing as she pushed him playfully away. He only laughed.
"Oi! You two get over 'ere and make yourselves useful!" Jackie called from the kitchen. The Doctor's laugh turned into a nervous cough as he slowly walked in the direction he was summoned. "Here you go! Put that on the table, love." Jackie smiled while pushing a bowl of mashed potatoes into his hands. His left eyebrow involuntarily shot up, partially at the look of the food that was thrust upon him and what she just called him. He walked over to the dining room. Rose followed closely with a bowl of vegetables and was horrified at what she saw. The Doctor had his glasses on and was staring at the potatoes as he would a strange alien lifeform. He then reached inside his breast pocket and retrieved the sonic screwdriver.
"Oi!" Rose hissed. "I can assure you those are real potatoes."
"One can never be too careful." He looked at her over the rims of his glasses. "Remember Thaalq? What we were assured was food…"
"…Turned out to be the emperor?" Rose finished his sentence nodding. "Don't think Mum's gonna do that to us."
"Wouldn't put it past her…" He grumbled. He eyed the potatoes with suspicion and flicked the switch on the screwdriver aiming the blue light directly at the food. Rose nearly slammed her bowl of vegetables on the table and snatched the screwdriver out of his hands.
"Look, she's trying to be nice to you! Why can't you just accept that?" Rose hissed at him angrily, pointing the screwdriver at him. The Doctor slightly withered under her gaze as he took his glasses off. It was rare times like this that she reminded him of Jackie (and now he felt slightly terrible for imagining her face being slammed by a mallet).
"It's just… well… I dunno…" He stammered absently rubbing at his face where Jackie once slapped him so hard he almost regenerated. Rose's face softened a bit as she handed him the screwdriver back.
"Look, I know mum isn't always the easiest person to get on with, but please try." She reached out and took his arm and gently pushed him towards the kitchen.
"Okay, I'll try…" he muttered in a tone that was hard to tell if he was being serious or not. Jackie placed a plate into his hands filled with what looked like meat, and he couldn't help but stare at this one suspiciously.
"The hell is that?" The words just spilled out of his mouth without filtering through his brain first. The next thing he registered was an acute pain from the back of his scalp as his head snapped forward. What was with these Tyler women and smacking Time Lords?
The Doctor didn't speak much during the meal. His usual exuberant demeanor was nearly non-existent anymore. He was glad Rose was enjoying herself. He listened as Rose and Jackie chatted excitedly, but he only interjected when Rose had trouble pronouncing the names of some of the worlds and people they had visited recently. The food didn't taste nearly as bad as it looked (although he wished he could sonic the meat to positively identify it) but he was sure he didn't want seconds. He was also very much relieved that the drinks were non-alcoholic after the story Rose told him earlier. But he couldn't exactly judge as a memory of him singing something from My Fair Lady with his necktie secured around his head after one too many banana daiquiris filtered through his mind.
"…isn't that right, Doctor?" Rose was staring at him. He blinked, realising just how lost in thought he had become.
"Sorry?" He sniffed at his drink. This wasn't alcohol, right?
"Blimey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just a bit… tired." Bored was more like it, but he wasn't about to admit it. "What were you saying?"
"I was just telling mum that I thought the gardens on Apa… Apel… Apple-a"
"Apalapucia." He slowly pronounced every syllable for her.
"Right, Apalapucia! Most beautiful place I've ever seen. They have these trees, yeah, they're cut in the most bizarre patterns. Mum you should see it! Wait, I think I got a photo of it somewhere…" Rose began to search through her pockets. "Oh… it's in my other coat. Left it in the TARDIS." The Doctor's ears perked up. Was this his escape at last?
"Which one? I'll go get it!" He pushed his chair away from the table, already rifling through his pockets for his key.
"No… it's alright. I'll go get it." Rose stood waving him back down. "Just wait here, I'll be right back." The Doctor shot her his most desperate "OH MY GOD, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE WITH HER!" look, but she seemed to happily ignore it as she swiftly left the flat.
"Looks like it's just the two of us now." Jackie smiled at him. He wished she'd stop doing that. He gave her a tight lipped smile and curt nod in response. "Can I tell you something?" She asked.
"You're really a grotesque alien masquerading around as a human who's hell-bent on destroying the universe?" Again, words just spilling out of his gob a mile a minute without filtering through his brain first. He braced himself for another slap, but to his surprise Jackie actually laughed.
"No, you prawn." It was an insult, but her words lacked the usual sting he was so used to getting from her. "I used to hate you. I mean, really detested you."
"Reeeeeally…? Glad you didn't keep that to yourself…"
"But since Rose has been travelling with you… well, I 'aven't seen her so happy in my life! And you have been getting her home safe, despite the dangers out there. So, thank you." Jackie smiled at him, and for the briefest of moments he saw exactly where Rose inherited her beauty from. He found himself smiling back.
"You're welcome."
"Still think you two make half these stories up…" The Doctor actually found himself laughing.
"Well… not all of 'em."
Jackie got to her feet and started clearing the table. With the Doctor's help, they managed to get it done before Rose returned with a stack of photographs. They huddled around the table with hot mugs of tea as Rose and the Doctor excitedly poured over each of the photographs happily sharing them with Jackie. Jackie wished she could frame the one of Rose standing on a gorgeous beach… but realised she'd have a really difficult time explaining just what kind of boat was floating off in the distance. And the extra moon in the sky.
"Oh I almost forgot the dessert!" Jackie exclaimed, still trying to recover from laughing at a photo of the Doctor with his foot stuck in mud (he made a mental note to burn that one later). "You're really gonna love this. Stuffed pears. Made 'em myself!"
"Ooh, brilliant! I haven't had a pear in centuries. I used to love 'em!" The Doctor was smiling ear to ear. Jackie handed him the treat, and he quickly took a bite. His smile immediately faded. His eyes watered. The plate dropped from his hands and the pear rolled onto the floor. Rose too was nearly knocked to the floor as he made a wild dash to the kitchen sink where the contents of his stomach were inelegantly deposited. "Ugh… my tie…" he muttered as he whipped off the ruined strip of silk and tossed it into the dustbin. Rose walked up behind him and rubbed his back attempting to soothe his illness. "First my shoes… now this…" He turned the tap on. He'd never expect anyone else to clean that up.
"This isn't a commentary on mum's cookin', is it?" Rose teased, her arm now wrapped around his shoulders.
"No. I just really hate pears apparently. They're evil…"
After a second cup of tea to settle his stomach (seriously, was Jackie's tea the cure for everything?) the Doctor and Rose said their farewells to Jackie and made their way back to the TARDIS. He made his usual display of circling the console and flipping switches seemingly at random.
"So, where were we? Ah yes! Xalaxious Minor, still fancy a look?" He asked with a wide grin. Rose said nothing, but still smiled back. She approached him and pulled him into a hug, which he happily obliged her with.
"Thank you." She spoke into his shoulder after a long moment of just enjoying the rhythmic sound of his two beating hearts.
"For what?" He asked, reluctantly pulling back and gazing into her eyes.
"For actually getting along with my mum. I really appreciate it."
"You're welcome." He said, pulling her into another brief hug. He then jumped away and began fiddling with some of the controls, eager to get moving again.
"But what I can't understand is when I left to get the photos, you looked so bored… but when I came back, you were just beaming away at her. What happened when I was away?" Rose followed him as he circled the console. He shrugged.
"Not much. I think Jackie's beginning to realise I'm much more incredible than she gives me credit for." He smiled incredulously. Rose rolled her eyes at him, but smiled nonetheless.