The discordant tones from his mobile dragged him from a deep, dreamless sleep. He spared a single glance to the screen before answering, "Laura?"
Her voice, as calm as ever, filled the air. "I need you, can you come over?"
Without a second thought, he nodded as if she could see him. "Of course, twenty minutes."
Almost as if she had seen him nod, he realized he was speaking to dead air. Something about the calmness of her tone unnerved him. He flung the covers away, leaving them in a tangled heap. Five minutes later he was dressed and headed to his car.
While he drove, he tried to ease his own fears. She'd said seven words, and yet, he was scared, deep abiding fear that chilled him to his bones. He parsed the words, her intonation, everything about the ten second conversation.
In front of her house, he paused for a moment. He had a key, should he let himself in or knock. Indecision pulled at him, rendering him helpless. Thoughts of another time he'd pulled up to her home. Fear had gripped at him then too. Before he could make a decision, the front door opened.
She stood in the doorway, wrapped in a simple dressing gown. Light from the entryway framed her petite body. There was a fragile tenseness about her he could feel even with the distance. It was this perceived frailty which spurred him into action.
In three steps, he closed the distance. It was then he could see the tears pooling in her eyes. He raised his eyebrows an unspoken question. She looked up, the first tears falling down her cheeks.
No words were needed, he knew instantly what had happened. She stepped back, letting him pass into the house. He flew past her, taking the stairs two at a time, making his way to the bedroom.
The man who had become his surrogate father was there. To anyone who hadn't understood the pain in Laura's face, he would have appeared to be sleeping. James crossed the threshold into the room, his training almost made him reach to check for a pulse. But he knew Laura would have already confirmed.
He sat on the edge of the bed, taking the hand of his mentor, his friend. There was still a residual warmth. Pain ripped through him unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes. A noise behind him alerted him to the fact he was no longer alone.
"Did you call anyone else?"
"No, I thought you might want a few moments alone."
"What do you think happened?"
"Cancer." James turned, anger flaring. "We found out while we were in New Zealand. He didn't want anyone to know."
James' mind reeled, thinking to the times he'd seen Robbie since their return. He'd thought he looked thinner but had chalked it up to eating better and a more active lifestyle while they were away.
Looking up, he met Laura's eyes, could see the fatigue, which now that he recognized it, had been there since their return. Dropping Robbie's hand he crossed the room, pulling her into his arms. His initial anger at her gone, replaced with an overwhelming compassion. He couldn't believe she'd had to bear this burden all of these months.
She resisted his touch for the briefest of moments then finally collapsed into him. Let him bear her weight as she finally gave into the grief she hadn't been able to release since the day they'd been given the life sentence. Months of anguish leaking out.
He felt the instant, she reached the end of her moment of weakness. Felt her stiffen against him as if pulling all of her defenses back. He looked down at her as she attempted to pull away.
"You will not do this alone, Laura. I am here, he's my family, too."
There was a momentary flicker of an emotion he didn't recognize or perhaps had never seen on her face. Then she nodded, relief washing away the flicker of whatever he'd briefly seen. "Thank you, James. I need to call his children and..."
Wiping the tears from her cheek, he kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Call his children, I'll take care of the other."
She nodded, "What do I tell them?"
"The same thing you told me. You were honoring his wishes. I suspect they will understand same as I did."
"He didn't want people to see him differently. Wanted these last few months to be as normal as possible."
"I can't imagine the toll this has taken on you. How have you managed it?"
"I love him."
James' anger returned. He knew how long she'd loved Robbie Lewis. He'd kept her at arm distance for so long and even in his death he'd somehow treated her unfairly. "He never deserved you."
To James' surprise, Laura laughed. "He said you would say that. Knew you would be furious at him." Calmly she stroked his arm, "Don't be angry with him. I kept the secret willingly." At his expression, she smiled sadly, "We got to have six months of normalcy. No one looking at us as if he was already dead. If we had told anyone, we wouldn't have had that."
"But you could have had some support."
She shook her head, vehemently, "No, I've seen it happen. People treat you like like he's already gone. This was for the best."
"Was he in pain?"
"Good days and bad days. Today was a good day." She smiled at James' look. "We took the canoe out, had a nice dinner on the patio, fell asleep in each other's arms."
"When did you find him?"
Looking past James, to Robbie, she smiled. "About an hour ago, I got up for a glass of water. He always woke when I got up. When he didn't stir, I knew."
James took her hand, pulled her gently from the room. He'd expected her to balk, pull against him. When she followed, he looked back at her, "Laura?"
"I'm OK, James. He's at peace." Squeezing his hand, she released it and walked past him, "And so am I."