At last, my first fanfic for my new favourite anime, Bungou Stray Dog! Since Dazai x Akutagawa is sooooo rare, I decided to write one myself ;) Enjoy reading!
"You've done well, Akutagawa-kun." The man in front of him said with a pat on his shoulder and a smiling face.
He felt as if he would faint. Not because Dazai-san has praised him, but because the words felt like the finishing line, where the run is over, where he can at last fall down and lay there catching his breath.
He forced the jelly that is his legs to stay still.
"What do you want?"
Akutagawa said coldly, taking half a step back with distrust.
Dazai-san always knows to strike where he was vulnerable.
No doubt that won't change.
Putting his weight on his right leg as he move back, however, brought a sharp pain he had forgotten during the midst of the fight, and he staggered slightly.
He kept his mask of calmness, though, near serenity but nearer to coldness.
He cannot afford to be weak.
The weak dies. The weak make way for others.
"It's okay to rest now, you know. You've done far better than I expected."
"No one cares to meet the expectation of a traitor, Dazai-san."
He tried to keep his gaze as hard and intense as he can, but the smile never left Dazai-san's face, and this time it reached his eyes. As it sometimes did when he was pretending as well, so you couldn't really tell a real smile from a fake one, only confirm a fake and left the rest for speculation.
Akutagawa find himself glancing sideways.
The Man-Tiger was watching him with almost a worried expression. Or maybe it was confusion, he couldn't see very well from this angle, and not to mention he has lost his contact lens in the fight, but one thing is for certain.
He will not receive sympathy from the Man-Tiger.
He brought his gaze forcefully back to Dazai-san, but before he knew it, the world blurred out for a moment and he staggered on his feet.
He was so tired. So tired that if he was alone, he would probably lose consciousness then and there.
The fact is that he was not, and he will not.
After he regained his footing again, he turned and tried to leave. Better be back in his apartment as soon as he could manage.
"I'm going back to headquarters."
Which he was not.
"You Detective Agency's do what you want here. The Guild is defeated and Port Mafia's turf are secured, that must be enough."
Before he took his third step, however, he blacked-out again, and almost stumbled onto his own face.
He could hear the Man-Tiger somewhere, shouting his name, but he only focused on righting himself.
As things return to its place around him, not floating around anymore, he realised Dazai-san's hand was on his arm, and that is probably why he was still standing.
"I just realised," he said, pulling Akutagawa's almost limp body toward him, "that maybe I was too harsh on you all these time."
And a pair of arms enveloped him in a very unexpected hug.
It was almost... fatherly.
"It's okay to be weak, once. I permit."
It screamed trap to Akutagawa. He needed to get away. This is only a show, an act. That sentence got too close to home, and the hug...
Dazai-san was clearly trying to disarm him. He need to get out of here, now!
Instead he couldn't move.
Liquid fell on his arm, limp at his side, trapped between Dazai and himself.
It dawned on him surprisingly slowly that it was his tears.
He was crying. This is really bad.
Dazai-san has him in the net, now, and tangled up good.
He didn't sob, but the tears won't stop either. And he stubbornly refused to bury his head into Dazai-san's shoulder, so he just stood there crying with the sand-coated man's arms trapping him and the world around him as good as gone, because the tears and his missing contacts wouldn't let him see right.
Vaguely he thought he saw the Man-Tiger looked away, probably embarrassed to witness such a scene, but it does not concern him at all.
It must have been only moments, but it seemed longer to the black-clad man, before the moment broke.
Akutagawa was expecting it but he still wasn't fast enough to block the attack with such close proximity. A fist to the stomach sent him hurtling backwards, against the concrete edge of the harbour. He painfully hit the ground and coughed. His lungs suddenly burn up and he kept coughing.
'Not now... Why now...?'
His last scrap of strength with Rashoumon see no more attacks reached him for the moment, but he wasn't sure how long will he be able to make Rashoumon work.
He was dead tired, his injury was past numbness long before, his lungs burn, and he still cannot stop crying.
"You're so weak, Akutagawa-kun, still so weak. And too trusting. I'm surprised you survived in Port Mafia this long after I left. Your Boss must be having mercy for a stray dog like you. Really, I did warn him not to. Now stand up. I don't fight crying babies. Is this how far you can go? See? Atsushi-kun is far better! He's standing, at least."
He could feel his eyes bulged. And he struggled despite all his sufferings, tiredness and pain just to stand up and not use any support.
"Don't..." he coughed, but continued, "compare... me... with the likes of him!"
Rashoumon head straight for Dazai with a speed that lose only to the fight before, in which he still had the energy.
Of course, it was useless against the other man, with his ability, but he drew his gun right away and hoped this poor excuse of a distraction tactic will suffice.
He couldn't see at all and the shot went as wild as a newbie on his first kill. His hands both shook as he struggled for another shot with two hands. A hackle rise and he couldn't suppress it. He coughed and coughed until his chest hurts and still go on. Blood stained his hands and the floor before him.
Gunfire sounded again, this time from the former executive, and only a last minute Space-Devouring has saved him from having holes drilled into his body.
He suddenly realised he was kneeling, almost doubling over in pain, so he suppress any further cough (almost suffocating at that) and stand up once more.
The Man-Tiger was stopping Dazai-san, seemingly furious when it was he who should be that way.
Threads of Rashoumon ran through the ground and rise up before the Man-Tiger, fuelled by the sudden fury.
'Why is Dazai-san so protective of that boy? He was weak. Way weaker than him! So why...?'
A sound between a sob and a roar erupted from him and only Dazai-san's ability kept the Man-Tiger alive at that moment. Another round of attack, though, and Akutagawa fell limply to the ground, coughing blood and sobbing in between.
His tried to get up, even resorting to anything he could grab hold of for support, but his muscles simply wouldn't support him anymore. His fingers twitch for his fallen gun, but they won't move more.
The harbour was an even more mess than before.
Akutagawa's vision flashed so severely, it was all he could do not to fall unconscious.
It wasn't fair. Why is Dazai-san being so nice to that Man-Tiger? Why don't treat him like this?
Despite the deepened understanding between he and Atsushi just earlier, Akutagawa find himself loathing the silver-head even more.
And it was hatred that persevered as the last of his emotions before passing out.