Disclaimer: I don't any characters from the "Guilty Gear" series. If I did, I wouldn't be doing this type of thing, but I am, so there. Enjoy the fic.
Who Wants to Be A Millionaire: The Guilty Gear Edition
Announcer Guy: Live, from New York!! It's time to play Who Wants to Be A Millionaire!! And here is your host....Looks at cue card, and discovers something completely out of the ordinary....uuhh...Hellbender...DX....?
(The opening music begins to play, the audience begins to cheer, and the host, which is me of course, comes out.)
Hellbender DX: Hello everyone, and welcome to another exciting addition of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire!!!
(The audience begins to applause for a short while.)
Hellbender DX: Thank you, thank you! Now then.... Tonight, we have a very special night for you people out there in the audience and to the viewers at home. Our players that are participating in this show tonight are from one of the best selling international fighting game that has been ever made! Ladies & gentlemen, meet the Gear hunters from the "Guilty Gear" series!!!
(As the background music starts, and the audience cheer once more. The spot-lights from above points towards the Gear hunters who were sitting their seats.)
Sol: Looks around, shooting death glares at everyone who looks at him. I can't believe this crap!! This place is nothing more than a complete waste of time!! I don't why the hell I'm here in the first place!! *Grumble, grumble*
Ky: Well then, Sol. What made you come here in the first place? Smirks.
Sol: Shoots a death glare at Ky. Shut up, boy!! Some stupid flyer trick me into it!! Mutters to himself. "Come to compete others players for a chance to win 1,000,000 World Dollars.... Yeah right!! I can get more money for killing a damn Gear if I wanted!!" Continues muttering.
Ky: To himself. "I don't know what his plans are, but with that 1,000,000 World Dollar offer, I'll have the chance to buy the entire collection to Japanese teacups that I've been trying to get for months! I think this is the greatest opportunity that has ever offered to me." Smiles towards his future plans with his money.
May: Waving at the audience. I can't believe it!! I'm actually on TV!! I hope that Johnny can see me!! To herself. "Speaking of which, with that 1,000,000 World Dollar offer, I may have enough money to afford a small private island for me and my Johnny-Kuu to spend our honeymoon!! Sighs dreamily. I think this is greatest day that has ever happened to me.... Sighs again, this time with hearts flowing out whenever she does that.
Jam: Very excited. YEAH!!! AT LAST!!! MY GREATEST OPPORTUNITY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!! With the money that these guys are offering, I can finally open up my very own restaurant!! Her eyes gets all teary, anime-like. THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!! Returns to her calm state, and thinks to herself. "Speaking of which, if I'm lucky enough to have some money left over, maybe I could....Turns to Ky and grins wickedly.
Millia: Looks around. I don't know why I'm doing here in the first place....Thinks for a moment. As she does so, she uses her hair to scratch her chin. "Maybe because of the money that these people of offering... Oh well... Wouldn't hurt to try." Makes her hair to return to its normal state.
Dizzy: Was astonished of how many people that were in the audience. Oh my.... I've never that there were going to be so many humans.... To herself "What happens if someone knows who I really am..."
Necro: Glowering at everyone one of them. If anyone one of those humans even looks at you in a funny way, I'll make sure that it'll be that thing they'll see!!
Undine: Forget it, Necro! There's absolutely no way that I'm going to let you take matters into your own hands!! Not even after what happened what last time!!
Necro: Glowers at Undine. What are you talking about, woman?!
Undine: Sighs hopelessly. It's quite simple. The last time when you took matters into your own hands, you nearly made Ms. Dizzy the most wanted Gear in the entire world!!
Dizzy: Trying to keep Necro and Undine under control. Uumm...
Necro: Shows an anime vein on his forehead. That human was doing something perverted to her!! I had to teach that jerk a lesson!!
Undine: Glowers at Necro with snake eyes look. That doesn't give you the right to destroy the majority of the city that we were in, along with him!!!
Necro: Scoffs. So? That city was a dump anyway....
Undine: THERE WERE INNOCENT PEOPLE IN THERE!!!
Nerco: Acting like he doesn't care. Whose gonna miss them?
Dizzy: Uumm....Necro...Undine...?
Undine: Growls angrily. I cannot believe that I'm stuck with a self-centered, arrogant demon that can't follow a few simple rules!!
Necro: Oh yeah?!! Well I can't believe I'm stuck with a goody-goody-two-shoes bitch!! Stick his tongue out.
Undine: Extremely mad at what Necro said. DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD IN FRONT OF ME, YOU COLD-HEARTED.....!!!!
Dizzy: Getting mad. Necro!! Undine!! PLEASE!!!
(Both Necro and Undine turned to her, and were looking like they have did something wrong and didn't want to confess.)
Necro: Thanks a lot, moron...
Undine: You started it...
Dizzy: Calms down. Look... I own that you two are only protecting me, and I greatly thank you for that, but I doubt these humans will do anything to harm me. So, if it's not too much of a problem, I would like for you two to take a day off or so. Just for this night, okay?
Undine: Thinks for a moment. Well....if you say so.... And don't worry...Turns to Necro and shoots a death glare at him. I make sure that a "certain someone" doesn't mess this night up for you...
Necro: Mutters. I heard that... Morphs back to his wing form.
Dizzy: Smiles. Thank you... Both of you..
Undine: Smiles and morphs back to her wing form.
Faust: Jumping around like a kangaroo that had WAY too much coffee. YAHHOOO!!! WHERE'S THE ICE CREAM!!! I NEED SOME ICE CREAM, NOW!!! NOW, I SAY, NOW!!!!! Laughs insanely.
Hellbender DX: Alright, you guys!! Let's get this show started, shall we?
(Audience cheer once more for a short while.)
Hellbender DX: Okay! let's start this off with a "fast finger question"!
Sol: A "fast finger question"? What the hell is that?!
Hellbender DX: Uumm....it's really quite simple. I will give each the same four answers, and they'll have to put them in a specific order within the fastest time. The player who gets the answers in the right order with the fastest time will be given the chance to win up to 1,000,000 World Dollars.
Sol: ...that's it? That's all we have to do?! Shows an anime vein on his forehead. Even a moron with an I.Q. of negative four can do a simple task like that!!!
Jam: Stares at Sol at an eerie way. Ya know... For a guy like you, you really need to lighten up a little...
Sol: Glowers at Jam. SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DAMN SLUT!!!
Jam: Gasps at what Sol said and looks at him with snake eyes look. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU POTTY-MOUTHED FREAK??!!
Hellbender DX: Please!! Please!! Watch the language here!! This is an ABC owned show, you know!
Sol: Shoots a death glare at me. Does anyone care?! NOOOO!!!
Hellbender DX: Shows a huge sweat-drop. UUhh...on to the "finger fast question", shall we? {Backgound music begins to play.} Okay. Put these state capital cities in order starting from the North to the South. Starting with: A.) Austin; B.) Juneau; C.) Santa Fe; D.) Lansing. Start the clock!!
(As the timer music begins to play, the Gear hunter were desperately trying to put the answers in the correct order on their touch-tone computer screen [I'm not sure what they are].)
Hellbender DX: {Background music stops.} Okay, time's up!! Now let's see the answers in the correct order... B.) Juneau; D.) Lansing; C.) Santa Fe; A.) Austin. Now the winner is.....Sol Badguy!!! C'mon down!!
(As the audience cheered on, Sol walked towards me, shooting death glares at everyone who looks at him.)
Hellbender DX: Well, well, Mr. Badguy! Are you ready to play...?
Sol: Shoots a death glare at me. Now listen here, shit-face!!! Let's just get this shit over with, so I can get the hell outta here as soon as possible, got it?!! There are some people- Glowers at Dizzy. -that are making me feel uncomfortable already!!
Dizzy: Shows a sweat-drop coming down from her forehead. ............
Necro: Forms a scythe in one hand and gathers energy in his other hand. You're gonna get it now, jackass!!
Undine: Trying to hold him back. Calm down, Necro!! This is not the perfect time OR the perfect place to do this!!
Hellbender DX: Shows a sweat-drop. Uuumm....right.... Anyway, here's your first question. Looks at his card. Finish this statement: "All is fair in love and what"? A.) Marriage; B.) War; C.) Computers; D.) Hatred.
Sol: Acting sarcastically. Uumm...gee...I don't know... Maybe it's B.) War because I like seeing people gettin' killed in it?
Hellbender DX: Looks at him in an eerie way. Uumm...is that your final answer?
Sol: Well, what do you think, moron?! You're the one with all the answers!!
Hellbender DX: Uuumm...and you are right for $100!!!
(The Audience cheer.)
Sol: Mutters to himself. "I can't believe this is happening to me...." Groans miserably.
(After four questions...)
Hellbender DX: ...And you're right for $1,000, Sol!!!
(Background music begins to play and the audience cheer for a short while.)
Sol: Sarcastically. Wow... I must be the luckiest guy in the world.... Rolls eyes.
Hellbender DX: Now then, Mr. Badguy. So far you still got all your life-lines, and you made it through the first safe point. That means that even you get the answer wrong, you still get to keep $1,000.
Sol: Doesn't even care about what I just said. Whoop-dee-doo....
Hellbender DX: Okay! Let's start the second round, shall we?! {Background music starts off} Alright. Here's your question for $2,000. Looks at his card. How many neutrons are in the element Chromium? It is: A.) 11; B.) 20; C.) 12; or D.) 7?
Sol: Acting sarcastically once more. HHmm...this is a tough one.....Uumm...I gonna have to say.....D.) 7.
Hellbender DX: Is that your final answer, Sol?
(In response, Sol pulled out his Fireseal Blade, and was about to slice my head off, but he stopped it within a few inches away from my neck.)
Audience: *Gasp*
Gear Hunters: *Gasp*
Hellbender DX: Showing a huge sweat-drop. *Gulp*
Sol: Still holding the blade until he eventually withdraws it. What do you think, kiddo?
Hellbender DX: Laughs nervously and looks at his card very quickly. Uuhh...I-I'm sorry...but t-the correct answer was C.) 12.
Audience: Sadly. Aawwww....
Sol: Scoffs. Well, DUH!!! I knew I was gonna get that wrong!!
Hellbender DX: Uumm...excuse me?
Sol: Dude, I purposely gave you the wrong answer!! Just to show these retards out there how stupid this show really is!! I mean, c'mon!! What kind of a jack-ass would come all the damn way to New York, and answer a bunch of stupid questions just to win what?!! A measly some of 1,000,000 World Dollars?! I bet there are Gears that are worth money than that!! C'mon!! Be serious on the situation!!!
Hellbender DX: Uuhh....Sol...would you PLEASE calm down?
Sol: Shut the %&#@ up, ass-wipe!! I cannot simply believe that I have came to the most stupidest place that had ever existed oh the face of this stinkin' planet!! This place should have every right to be immediately destroyed!! I...!!!
Hellbender DX: QUICK!! GO TO COMMERCIAL!!!! NOW!! GUARDS!!!!!
***********
Faust: Waving stupidly at the camera. Hello! I am Faust, a once highy-regarded surgeon during my time until I committed a medical mishap that led to a murderous rampage of innocent people!! But let's not worry about my past, okay?! Begins to walk. As he walks, the camera follows him. Any who, are you feeling a lot of rage inside of you? So much rage that you just want to kill someone just for no particular reason? Or just want to curse at everyone, including your friends, family, or people that you don't know? Or just want to kick puppies off of tables? Well, I'm here to help you get to rid of that anger. How, you say? Well, it's quite simple of course! Just follow MEEEEE!!! Runs off.
As Faust runs around like a complete idiot, the camera tries to follows until he pops right in front of it.
Faust: Holding a stop sign. STOP!!
(The guy who was holding to camera does so, nearly dropping it.)
Faust: Throws the stop sign away, and points upward. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my anger management problem!!
(The camera moves to the direction that Faust was pointing until he sees a sign that says "Faust's Anger Management Program." The camera then moves back down to Faust.)
Faust: That's right!! If you're a guy with an anger problem, then this is the place for you!! There, I will do everything within my power to transform you from a self-centered, cold-hearted jerk to a all-caring, warm-hearted good guy! See something. Ooooh....I think we have a customer coming by!! Let's go talk to him, shall we?! Runs off.
(As the cameraman tries to follow him, he notices Sol who was walking along on the sidewalk, kicking a can whenever it gets near to him. The cameraman turns the camera towards Sol.)
Faust: Pops right in front of Sol, nearly freaking him out. Hello, sir! May I ask you a few questions?
Sol: Looks at him straight into his eye. Get away from me, you paper-bag wearin' freak... Walks off.
Faust: Follows him. Are you feeling a lot of anger inside you right now? So much anger that you want to hurt someone for no particular reason?
Sol: Get lost, freak....
Faust: So much anger that you want to curse at everyone, including the whole world?
Sol: Get lost, damn it!!
Faust: So much anger that you want to fires to houses?
Sol: Getting upset. I SAID GET LOST!!!
Faust: So much anger that you want to kick cute little puppies off of tables just for the heck of it?
Sol: A fiery field starts to surround him. I'M WARNING YOU....!!!
(Then there a moment or silence that lasted for about ten seconds, until...)
Faust: So much anger that.....
Sol: THAT'S IT!!! NAPALM....DEATH!!!!
(And within an instant, the area was completely covered in a tremendous, firey explosion. After the explosion died down, all that was left of the area was a crater that took up about half of the city.)
Sol: Dustes himself off. Hmuph! Taught his ass a lesson... Walks off.
(The cameraman, who was mysteriously left unharmed from the explosion, turns the camera to a char-coaled and crippled Faust.)
Faust: Uuuuhh....*twitch* Let's not....*twitch*....use that....*twitch*....take...Passes out.
(Scene fades out...)
**********
Hellbender DX: Okay!! Welcome back to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!!! [Audience cheers.] Now I know that some of you are wondering "What the heck happened during the commercial?", and "What is up with that guy?" But, since this is an ABC owned show, and can't tell you. All we can tell is that Mr. Badguy had some type of medical problem and had to be escorted out of the building....
Sol: Is outside, looking at a TV monitor. MEDICAL PROBLEM MY FUCKIN' ASS!!! I'LL
GONNA MAKE THAT ASSHOLE LEARN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE MESSES WITH A GEAR!!!
Hellbender DX: But we're not gonna let some little problem ruin the show, are we? [The audience cheers once more.] That's what I thought!! Now let's continue the game with another "fast finger question"!!
(Background music starts.)
Jam: Aaawwww....man!! Not another one of those things!! "At this rate I'm never gonna win any money, and...and....*sniff* ....AND I'LL NEVER OPEN UP MY RESTAURANT!!! Cries anime like.
Ky: Sitting right next to her, and just couldn't stand of seeing a woman cry. Uumm...Ma'am...? Would you...uumm...please try to control yourself? We're on a televised show, you know....
Jam: Notices when she heard Ky's voice, and instantly returns to her calm state. Okay.... Smiles.
Ky: *Blink, Blink* ....that was fast...
Hellbender DX: All right!! Here's you next "finger fast question"! Looks at his card. Put these movies in order from the earliest to the recent. Starting with: A.) Pitch Black; B.) Batman Forever; C.) Short Circuit 2; D.) Spider-Man. Start the clock...
(As the timer music starts, the Gear hunter once again try their best to put the answers in order within the fastest time. About ten seconds later....)
Hellbender DX: Time's up! Let's see the answer in the correct order, starting with: C.) Short Circuit 2; B.) Batman Forever; A.) Pitch Black; D.) Spider-Man. And the person with the fastest time is.... Looks at his card. Faust!! C'mon on down!!!
(As the audience cheered on, Faust walked toward Hellbender, grabs him, and licks him.)
Hellbender DX: Jumps back. EEEWWWW!!! Faust...PLEASE try to control yourself!! I know your excited and all, but c'mon!! *Ahem* Now then... Are you ready to...?
Faust: ICE CREAM!!!!!
Hellbender DX: *Blink, blink* UUuhhh....excuse me....?
Faust: I WaNT sOMe iCE CReaM!! GIVE IT TO ME!!!!
Hellbender DX: Shows a sweat-drop. UUuhh...I-I'm sorry, Faust. We don't have any right now....
Faust: Aaaawwww...... Puts his head down.
Hellbender DX: Hey...there's no need to be sad about it. I'll....I'll get you some after the show, kay?
Faust: Imitates the voice of Gir. OOOKKKIIIEEE DOOOKEEYYY!!!
Hellbender DX: UUmm....okay.... Let's get going, shall we? [Background music starts.] All right. Here's your first question! Looks at his card. Complete this sentence: "Mary had a...."
Faust: ICE CREAM!!!!!
Hellbender DX: Wha...?
Faust: IcE CReaM iS ThE anSWeR!!!
Hellbender DX: Uuumm....Mr. Faust...? You have to wait till I finish the question....
Faust: Imitates the voice of Gir once more. Ok...KAYY!!!
Hellbender DX: Gives Faust a strange look. Uuumm...yeah. Now, complete this sentence for me. "Mary had a little...."
Faust: PiZZa!!!
Hellbender DX: UUumm...I haven't given you the answers yet....
Faust: HoT DOgs?! ChiLLE dOGs?! FRenCH FRieS?!
Hellbender DX: Faust! Wait 'till I give you answers!
Faust: CaTS?!! DOgs?!! BEaVErs!!!
Hellbender DX: FAUST!!! Will you PLEASE WAIT??!!!
Faust: AFROS!!!!
Hellbeneder DX: SHUT UP ALREADY!!!
Faust: Okay...
Hellbender DX: Rubs his head as if he were having a headache. Okay now... Now here are your answers... A.) Dog, B.) Cat, C.) Lamb, or D.) Llama.
Faust: ICE CREAM!!!
Hellbender DX: *Groan* Faust...ice cream is not one of the answers....
Faust: PiZZa?
Hellbender DX: Pizza is not of them either!! You have to choose one the answers that I've given you!!
Faust: ChEeScAKe!!
Hellbender DX: With snake eyes look. CHOOSE ONE OF THE ANSWERS, YOU MORON!!!!!
(There was moment of silence that last for about fives seconds until....)
Hellbender DX: Well?
Faust: iCe CrEAm?
Hellbender DX: All red and with snakes eyes look. GUARDS!!!!!
(A few moments later....)
Hellbender DX: Rubs his head once more. "Oh God!! Please let there be a miracle for me!" Notices when he hears the ending buzz sound. "YESS!! THANK YOU, GOD!!! THANK YOU!!!" Well, looks like we've ran out of time, but don't worry!! We'll continue the show tomorrow at 8:00 PM, 7:00 PM Central Time!! To himself. "And hopefully that the rest of the players aren't morons or cold-hearted ass-holes..." Until then, goodnight and good-bye!!
(The audience cheer as the ending music theme plays. As the music plays on, the scene changes to various places of New York. After a view moments of scene changing, the music stops playing and the scene fades to a black scene.)
To Be Continued....