Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own delusional thoughts.
Summary: The evolving relationship of Remus and Sirius, and, in the end, Remus and Tonks. A lifeboat for any Puppy Shippers! Yay!
Authoress: Anika Malfoy
Authors Note: This fic is dedicated to my wonderful Ty and my two muses for this story, Moony and Padfoot. Who knew that a sleepless night spent listening to whimpering puppies and having Hungry Like the Wolf stuck in your head could end in such an entertaining story?
This is a re-done version of the same chapter. I re-wrote it because my Hikari pointed out that the first half (the half that I wrote while at her house) was less detailed and untrue to my normal writing style. I beg apology to anyone who has already read this chapter (before this re-posting) and I beg you to blame Ty and her family for distracting me while I was writing.
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The day of the full moon was rough on Remus. In its own ways it was worse than the night of the full moon. At night, Remus's actions were explained and excused because he was a wolf. During the day, Remus was still human, but if his emotions got the better of him…if he got mad, or sad, or…well, any heightened emotion, then the wolf took over his mind and made him act instinctively. He became the wolf while still in his human skin.
This was worse than becoming the wolf in body. When the wolf took over his human self, Remus was as powerless to stop it as he was when in his fur…but if the wolf took over during the day, then it was human hands that reached out, a human voice that howled, and human teeth that were bared. It scared Remus, knowing that he could hurt somebody in his skin as easily as in his fur.
This morning was especially bad. James and Peter had dressed and left for breakfast, leaving him alone with Sirius. Sirius who was only half-dressed. Sirius who's hair was tussled from sleep. Sirius, the boy Remus had fancied for the past three years. Sirius, who Remus had fallen in love with sometime during the summer. Sirius, who the wolf and the boy both wanted for a mate.
It was taking all Remus's self-control to hold the wolf in check, to keep the wolf from forcing him to admit something to Sirius that would ruin their friendship; and his control was slipping. Remus couldn't tear his eyes away from Sirius's soft skin, skin that was warm and delicate.
'Skin that Moony could tear apart in a heart-beat,' Remus forced himself to think it, to know it. He ignored the growl of denial that came from the corner of his mind where Moony was crouched.
Sirius stood and stretched, pulling a shirt over his head, then turned as Remus let out a little whimper of loss. "Remmie? You okay?"
Remus couldn't take the sound of that voice, of Sirius's concern. He couldn't take the worried look in those brilliantly blue eyes, or the way Sirius's tongue poked out to nervously lick his lips. And when Sirius opened his mouth to speak again, and Remus saw a flash of white teeth and the inside of that delicious mouth, he lost control, and the wolf sprang.
"Don't hate me," Remus whispered, not sure that the boy heard him. He stumbled across the room and kissed Sirius with all the passion that the wolf had been forced to hold back for years; all the passion that Remus had forced himself to hold back. Moony gently bit Sirius's lip, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it, then licking it better. He slid his tongue into Sirius's mouth and began rubbing it gently against Sirius's.
Sometime during that kiss, Remus gained control again, but he was as powerless to stop the kiss from continuing as he had been when Moony was in control. He just wanted this too much. It took a moment before he realized that Sirius's arms were around his waist, pulling him close. It took even longer to realize that Sirius was kissing him back. Remus pulled out of the kiss, shocked.
"Wh-why'd you…?" Sirius whispered, looking up at Remus.
"You…you kissed me," Remus's eyes were wide.
"You kissed me first," Sirius smirked, amused. "Why'd you stop?"
Remus smiled, and, instead of answering, leaned forward and began kissing Sirius again.
Sirius pulled the werewolf close, so their bodies were flush against each other. He had never expected Remus to make the first move, but Sirius was glad that the lighter boy had. He wasn't sure that he would ever have worked up the nerve. Sirius pulled back, a long time later, and stared into Remus's gold-flecked eyes. The darker boy smiled, remembering the day when he had first noticed that the werewolf's eyes were grey with gold flecks, not green like everyone else seemed to think.
"I hope this means you fancy me, too?" Sirius teased, lightly licking Remus's ear.
"F-For a long t-time now," Remus stuttered, breathlessly.
Sirius moved down to nibble the side of the lighter boy's neck, "I've fancied you for ages. I never had the nerve to do anything about it, though." Sirius pulled up and looked into Remus's eyes, "I was so afraid you wouldn't feel the same."
"I do," Remus smiled, kissing Sirius quickly on the lips. "I wouldn't have had the courage to act on it…but…Moony…"
"Moony was horny?" Sirius laughed, pulling Remus as close as he could.
Remus blushed deeply, "Something like that…"
"You're beautiful when you blush," Sirius whispered. He had wanted to say that for so long, and now he could.
Remus's cheeks turned from pink to scarlet, "and you're making us late for class."
"Me!"
"Well…maybe I helped…a little," Remus chuckled, "but it's still your fault. We'd be on time if you weren't so…"
"Sexy?" Sirius suggested, smiling seductively.
"Come on…sexy," Remus smiled, reaching down and lacing his fingers together with Sirius's. The simple act of intimacy made the werewolf blush again, but he didn't care. Sirius was his…
Remus stopped on the stairs and turned to Sirius, "What does this make us now?"
Sirius smiled, understanding the werewolf's hesitation. Remus could spend all morning snogging someone, but would still not even think the word 'boyfriend' until the other had given him permission. That was one of the things Sirius loved about the lighter boy, he was so damn considerate.
"Remus Lupin, will you be my boyfriend?" Sirius smiled. 'That should make things simple enough for him.'
Remus blushed for what seemed the thousandth time that hour, and nodded. Sirius smiled and pulled Remus into another passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, both boys were breathing heavily.
Sirius laced their fingers together again, and they headed for their class. 'Sirius is my boyfriend now,' Remus smiled, squeezing Sirius's hand lightly. The boys only dropped hands when they reached the classroom door.
"Where were you two?" James whispered after Sirius and Remus had stumbled into their Charms class ten minutes late.
James bit his lower lip in concentration; there was something different about Remus and Sirius. It wasn't anything in appearance…but more the way they moved. The way they had walked into the room, bodies just a little too close together. The way Remus was turned slightly in his chair so that his body was facing Sirius, and the way Sirius was pointedly not looking at Remus, but playing with his hands nervously.
"We…well…" Sirius looked up at James and gave his friend his best get-out-of-trouble grin.
James moaned, feeling a little jealous that Sirius was off causing trouble without him, "What were you doing? And why wasn't I invited?" The past two years or so, James had noticed that Sirius was turning to Remus more than ever…and he hated how it made him feel like he was loosing his best friend.
Sirius's shoulders shook with silent laughter, "Trust me, Prongs, you didn't want to be invited. Remmie…well…we…wouldyouhatemeifIwasaponce?"
"What?" James laughed, "Speak English."
"Would-you-hate-me-if-I-was-a-ponce?" Sirius pronounced each word carefully, looking down at his hands.
"You've always been a ponce," James smirked, then noticed how nervous his friend was. "You mean…you…and Moony?"
"Yes," Sirius whispered, daring a glance up at his friend.
James glanced over at Remus, who was trying so hard not to look like he was eavesdropping that it was obvious that was exactly what the werewolf was doing. 'Damn wolf hearing,' James thought affectionately. No one else would've been able to overhear this whispered conversation. James looked back at Sirius, who was staring pleadingly at him.
"I've fancied him for a long time," Sirius whispered, "I've loved him for a long time."
Remus's head snapped over to look at Sirius, and James watched as a happy smile grew on the werewolf's lips. It was obvious, to James, that Remus felt the same for Sirius.
'Well, this explains a lot. But what does it mean for the Marauders?' James thought, forcing himself not to frown so the two boys wouldn't misread the reaction, ' I always knew we'd have to grow up someday. That we'd all get girlfriends… or… boyfriends, as the case may be. I knew we couldn't stay like this forever. But I don't want to lose my friends. At least I know Moony's not taking my place as Sirius's best friend. I can live with them being lovers, just as long as I'm still their brother.'
"I don't hate you," James laughed at the look of relief on both boys faces, "Just don't shag anytime I can hear it."
Remus blushed, then mumbled, "A werewolf mates for life."
Sirius smiled, "I promise, no shagging where you can hear."
Remus smiled over at Sirius, blush deepening, and James could practically hear the werewolf's thoughts. Sirius wanted to be with Remus for life, Sirius loved Remus. James sighed, glancing across the room to where Lily Evans was sitting. 'Will I ever be that lucky? Will I ever be loved like that by…someone I love?'
"I'll tell Peter about this, he'll take it better if he knows I approve," James grinned.
"Thanks, Prongs…you think he'll mind?" Remus asked, tentatively.
"No. So long as you don't…."
"Shag where he can hear?" Sirius finished, smiling.
"Exactly," James laughed. Glancing at the two again, he smiled affectionately, "You two will be good for each other…just make sure that whatever happens, your Marauders first and always. Don't start skiving off alone together and forget about Pete and me."
James tried to make it sound off-hand, he really did. He also failed miserably. Sirius could always read James like an open book; it made them a great team in pranks… but it also made it impossible for James to hide anything from Sirius. 'People always said we were like brothers, because we were so close. I just hope they still say that a year from now.'
"We won't forget you guys," Sirius smiled, "you're far too obnoxious to be overlooked."
"Thanks," James muttered dryly, but he smiled at his friends.
"Marauders forever," Sirius smiled, quoting a pact they had made in second year.
"Brothers for life," James finished, finally reassured that this wouldn't change anything.
Remus smiled fondly at the two. 'Sirius is my boyfriend…but there will always be a part of him that only James will know.' Remus didn't mind sharing that part of the darker boy, 'After all, I do get the best part of him. I get his love…the love he can only give a lover.'
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"So they're…" Peter glanced over James's head at where Sirius and Remus were laying cuddled together on one bed, asleep.
"Together? Yes," James smiled.
Classes had ended a half-hour ago, and James had pulled him up here to explain about the change in Remus and Sirius's relationship. Peter wasn't sure he liked the idea of one half of the Marauders dating each other.
Peter watched as Sirius pulled Remus closer to him, 'I don't get it…why would two guys want to…it's so…gross!' Peter shook his head, thinking. 'Why would anyone to…to…do that? To have a bloke…gross! I never would've thought that some of my friends would be into blokes…well, that's not true. Moony, I understand…he's always been slightly off. But Padfoot? I would never have guessed him for a poof. But…I don't know. I just don't understand the attraction, but then…they probably don't understand what me or James see in girls, so I guess that makes us about even. And…' Peter sighed, 'I guess they're good for each other. If anyone can keep Padfoot out of trouble, it will be Remus, and if anyone can love Moony unconditionally it will be Sirius.'
Peter shook his head, and James held his breath. He had been watching Peter closely, had seen the initial look of disgust change into one of contemplation. If Peter didn't accept this…
Peter sighed again, 'I guess it's sort of…fitting. I mean, them together is just…right, somehow. I mean, it's not right for me, but…for them…'
"I don't understand it, but…so long as they're happy, I guess," Peter shrugged, sitting one his bed and pulling out his homework.
On the other bed, Remus smiled and whispered, "They accept us."
"Told you they would, they're our friends," Sirius whispered back, kissing the top of Remus's head. "I love you, Remmie."
"I love you too, Siri."
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"You can't be in here," Madam Promfrey glared at Sirius, who she had discovered cuddled up in bed with Remus. "You have to leave."
It was the morning after full moon, two months later. Sirius had been sneaking into the Hospital Wing every morning after full moon since Remus and he had become a couple. Remus was always depressed after transformation, but if Sirius could take his mind off of the previous night's events, than Remus healed a lot faster, at least from the mental wounds the transformation inflicted.
The past months had been amazing. Remus loved being with Sirius, and he knew, without knowing how he knew, that Sirius loved being with him. They had become mates nearly three weeks ago, and both were still getting used to their new link. The school textbooks had not been very helpful in explaining the link…it seemed that the authors were more interested in how to kill a werewolf than what happened when they mated.
Sirius glared up at the nurse, "I'm not going anywhere you old bat. Remus is my mate, and I'm staying here with him."
Madam Promfrey blinked, and then looked at the way Sirius was holding Remus gently, almost as if the boy were made of spun glass. She nodded, and returned to her office. The Headmaster had better hear of this.
Madam Promfrey dropped a pinch of floo powder into her fire and stuck her head inside, having it immediately arrive in Dumbledore's office. Luckily the Headmaster was already sitting at his desk. After a brief explanation, Dumbledore agreed to visit the healing werewolf and his mate later that day. Madam Promfrey smiled, if anyone would know how to help those boys (without prejudice) it was Dumbledore.
"Mr. Black? Mr. Lupin?" Dumbledore called from the door to the Hospital Wing, half an hour after the confrontation with Madam Promfrey. The Headmaster walked up and sat down beside Remus's bed. Sirius jumped up and sat at the foot of the bed, taking Remus's hand and glaring at the Headmaster defiantly.
Dumbledore smiled. He remembered the day when Sirius Black, Peter Petegrew, and James Potter had all burst into his office announcing that they knew Remus Lupin was a werewolf and demanding to be allowed to visit him in the Hospital Wing when he was recovering from transformation. They had been shocked into silence when Dumbledore had granted them permission without a second thought. Dumbledore almost chuckled, remembering that Mr. Black had ran over and hugged the headmaster, while Mr. Potter and Mr. Petegrew stammered their thanks.
Remus smiled reassuringly at Sirius, then turned his attention to the professor, "Yes, Professor Dumbledore?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, "Madam Promfrey has just made me aware of your…new-found relationship. I decided that I better discuss some things with the both of you. You are aware, of course, that werewolves mate for life?"
Sirius and Remus both nodded, not daring to speak.
"Excellent. Well, there are aspects of the life-bonding that are not detailed in any textbook here at Hogwarts," Dumbledore smiled when Remus and Sirius nodded, 'So, you've been doing research? Good, good.' "So I took the liberty of ordering this for you." Dumbledore handed Remus a hard-backed book.
Remus looked down at the faded cover and smiled, the title read A Guide to the Human Werewolf and His World.
"Thank you, sir," Remus smiled, glancing pointedly at Sirius. The darker boy often forgot to thank somebody, especially when he was as relieved to not be in trouble as he obviously was now.
"We appreciate it," Sirius smirked.
"Don't mention it, lads. Just make sure you read it," Dumbledore stood to go, yes twinkling as Sirius cuddled up to Remus's side, and the boys opened the book.
After making sure Dumbledore was out of hearing range, and the nurse was nowhere to be seen, Remus began reading the book aloud to his mate.
"The link between the werewolf and his mate is immensely intense; some go so far as to describe it as a physical connection. It can be opened wide, or closed to a needlepoint tunnel." Remus smiled down at the words, he liked the idea of having a physical connection with Sirius, no matter how far apart the two of them were.
"Physical connection? That has interesting possibilities," Sirius smiled seductively at his mate.
Remus, blushing, continued without comment, "When opened to its widest point, the life-bonded couple have telekinetic abilities as well as telepathic. Opened midway, and the telepathic abilities are accessible, but the telekinesis is not. When closed, the others emotions are heard and felt. This is useful for times when the werewolf and his mate are separated. The werewolf is an extremely physical creature, and thrives on contact, if deprived of contact from his mate; he becomes depressed and emotionally weak. The link keeps this from occurring."
"Define telekinetic abilities," Sirius smirked, wrapping his arms around his mate.
"It says here that if the werewolf's mate dies, then he can never choose another. He will never be able to have a physical relationship with anyone again, though he can have a non-physical relationship with others. But, if the werewolf dies, his mate if freed of the bond and can sleep with whoever he wants…that's hardly fair," Remus laughed, hoping he had successfully distracted Sirius.
Sirius cuddled closer to Remus and began playing with the boys fingers, "If you died, I wouldn't want to sleep with anyone else. You're my mate. No one else could ever replace you."
Remus frowned, "It's not about replacing, Siri. If I died, I'd want you to move on with your life. I'd want you to find someone to make you happy."
"But if I died, you wouldn't be able to do the same thing?" Sirius shook his head, "I'd want you happy too."
"Being happy and having sex are two different things. I wouldn't want the same relationship with someone else as I had with you. I like that the wolf wouldn't let me have it. I don't think I'd ever be able to sleep with anyone without seeing your face…" Remus blushed.
Sirius kissed his lover gently, "I know what you mean. I wouldn't want to have a physical relationship with anyone else either. But I'd want to know you were happy."
Remus focused on that spot in his mind where he was connected to Sirius. He pushed it open a little wider, trying to let Sirius feel what he was feeling, because there was no way that he could say it aloud.
Sirius gasped, then pulled Remus close and kissed him furiously. "You are worth more than…than anything! You certainly do deserve me! You deserve better! And if I die, you better not go around feeling sorry for anyone who wants to be with you just because they could never be your mate! You better let yourself love someone again!"
"But…But…" Remus turned away, not wanting Sirius to see his tears. "I don't know what makes you love me, but I'm glad you do. No one deserves the pain of being a werewolf's mate…but you accepted it. I don't want to think about you dieing, but if you did…no one would want to have that kind of relationship with me."
Sirius pulled Remus's face up, cupping his lovers head in both hands he wiped the tears from the boys cheeks with both thumbs, "Someone would have to be stupid not to want any relationship they could get with you. And I love being your mate…and being a werewolf's mate. I love being connected to you like this. I love you, Remmie. You're good, and smart, and gorgeous, and a million other things that make you perfect…and anyone who doesn't see that is a fool."
Remus blushed, "I couldn't…I couldn't let someone give up so much for me. I'd never love them like I love you. I'd never be able to…well…most people wouldn't want a relationship that could never be physical."
Sirius smiled, "You said yourself that happiness and sex are two different things. Someone would know that and would be happy with you. Would make you happy. Just promise me that if anything happens to me, you'll let them."
Remus frowned, "I don't like talking about you like you're going to die. Just live."
Sirius laughed, "I promise that I will do my utmost to live, and that if something happened to you, I would find someone else to make me happy…so long as you promise the same."
Remus chucked, kissing Sirius's cheek, "I promise that I will do my utmost to live, and that if something happened to you, I would find someone else to make me happy. Happy?"
"Yes, now…about those telekinetic abilities," Sirius laughed when Remus paled, but he couldn't help opening his link the remaining bit and trying the newfound abilities out.
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A/N: I've got most of the second chapter written already…but if anyone has any ideas, please e-mail them to me (I love reading them). Also, the more reviews I get, the faster I will update (because I'm taking 19 credits in college, so I must be sufficiently motivated to find the time to write).
Visit my Author page and read my bio, it will tell you my e-mail address, and I'm working on getting a website up and going that will have great HP pics (by me and others). When it is ready, it will be listed in my bio.
P.S. In case you haven't noticed, I chance POV's a lot. If it starts to get confusing, please let me know. Also, let me know if any of the characters get OOC. I can't fix this stuff unless someone tells me. Thanx.