He never really understood meat sacks.
Didn't understand them; didn't like them.
Not the way they thought.
Or felt.
The way they expressed themselves.
The way they reacted.
The way they tried to understand everything.
The way they dealt with pain.
The way they lived.
What he did like was how they could break so easily and that were so many of them to play with. It was like giving a child a box of endless toys. He didn't care if he made one insane that it could crumble a civilization or that breaking another's neck would start a war.
All he cared about was power and attention, which humanity literally threw at him.
He especially loved playing with the Pine bloodline.
That bloodline was more in tune with the bigger picture. They were more aware of monsters, could easily tap into the rivers of energy inside them. They tried to expand horizons… and he loved snatching that hope right out of their hands. The pain, fear… and sometimes anger in their eyes was such a beautiful picture.
Pain.
Fear.
Anger.
He could get behind those; he could understand those emotions.
They were simply responses to outside stimuli the human mind created in milliseconds. A way to keep humanity alive so it could evolve through the repetitive process of eating, sleeping, and breeding. All animals had it so humanity would too… It didn't make them special.
Courage.
Hope.
Love.
Those… Those he couldn't understand.
Those emotions went against survival. If faced with a bigger threat, any animal even an apex predator would run away. But humans… if faced with the same threat they would run towards it.
It was irregular, irrational, downright suicidal.
Stanford and Stanley Pines showed it when he had their great niece and nephew in his grasp. That- that fight against him, the need to protect the kids when they should have bowed to him in surrender.
Hell, Mason Pines… "Dipper" as everyone calls him, he had it when he was fucking 12. He was a child, a blip in the grand scheme of the universe. He's not important… not at all… and yet he stood up to Bill, a being that one could call a God, every time they squared off.
He broke his most diabolical trap to save his sister.
He rallied Gravity Falls against him.
He found all the pieces of the Zodiac.
Sure the final blow was dealt by Stanley and Stanford.
But essentially… A fucking twelve-year-old child defeated and sealed a God.
It shouldn't be possible. There is no explanation on how a fucking child should best someone like Bill Cipher… to let him taste victory of meat sacks and then rip it away from him. Other entities have tried, sure, but this brat is the only fucking thing-
It had to be that Axolotl.
Somehow while Bill was sealed, that thing took a part of Bill and dropped it in the Pines bloodline. That's how he was bested. That had to be it… that's how it got him to call out to it!
Fucking space… lizard… fish… whatever the fuck it is god thing!
Oh yeah, he came back alright. Thanks to that show and that "Cipher Hunt".
All those people spending all that time and energy… and then shaking his hand when they found him. They wanted him to be real, to trapeze along reality and their little race like some God again. That's great and all…
Except all they could think of was a stupid HUMAN FORM for him!
But hey, he could get back at Pine Tree. He could keep him up at night, make him embarrassed, make sure no one touched his new little toy.
Thing was, fucking Pine Tree was ready for him. He set up traps to chase him off in his first body, he physically set up limits on this new body. He even stuck him back in the statue with his own magic system and "get that cane out of your ass Bill, I'm not a thing!" when he "acted" like the kid was his possession.
Yeah, Pine Tree made his own magic.
He probably did it when he had that "game developer" job. The little sneak even made his own journals and claimed it was for "projects". And then he goes and uses it on Bill!
He probably even cursed him to have those… emotions, yuck!
Kid just had to make him care about his sister (not that she's all that bad, get rid of her naïve ideals and you've got a good catalyst for mayhem there) and the "grunkles" and all those meat sacks he treasures. If he had been born in a different time and more… flexible, he would have been a damn good conqueror.
Just a shame he has to have a heart of gold and all.
So If you told Bill all those summers ago that this, masquerading as a street magician and living with the kid that ruined his plans several times, was going to be his future… well you'd probably be a splat on the wall or whatever was used as walls in the nightmare realm. But cie la vie, am I right?
He can't have his old form, he can't escape reality (he can fuck with it but he can't leave), his nightmare realm is breaking apart… he's just a foreign street magician that has to get along with Dipper.
Yeah he's a YouTube sensation, but he would rather have his godhood (or whatever you call that state of being where you inspire religions) back. And he has to deal with all the icky heart to heart emotional shit that Star loves (she works for Disney for fuck's sake, they crank that junk out by the ton)! Torturing Dipper by acting unhinged is the only fun thing that's working out for him.
So why does it feel like he's drowning in ice when he's walking through the ruined store? How the hell would he know!?
The mess used to be a… "home improvement" store that the meat sacks flock to. Dipper went here to grab something when the couch broke during his grunkles birthday party. Now… now it's gone to shit with his energy all over the place.
Wait.
That can't be right.
He just got here! How the fuck can his energy be the cause for this when he wasn't even here!?
Pine Tree had something to do with it.
Bill used his cane to knock over some debris as he ventured deeper into the mess, looking for Dipper and hopefully knocking him around a few rounds for doing this without him being here.
A few wires tangled around one of his heels and snapped it off, causing him to stumble and curse. A snap of his fingers changed his shoes to normal boots. He hated this place, those heels were his favorites…
But oh did he miss his incorporeal form. Simple, sharp… he could just easily float through this sloppy mess and not have to worry about scuffed shoes.
Bill brushed some dust off his pants and kept walking, absorbing the energy around him.
The nightmare realm had been destroyed so it made sense for the energy to leak out in random locations. He had mainly accompanied Dipper on his "adventures" to absorb that energy again and grow stronger. On top of being a pain in the ass, it seemed like a win-win situation.
The energy here was used rather sloppily. Like someone taking a lit torch and running through a forest kind of sloppy.
He knew Dipper. They were in a battle of wits physically for little over a year… but they interacted for ten years. Ten years of Dipper approaching the statue and sharing whatever when he was lonely, ten years of the boy preparing for the worst while continuing his own mediocre education.
Ten years of Bill silently listening. Years of plotting.
Dipper isn't sloppy.
This sloppiness is from a third person.
Bill and Dipper were on somewhat equal ground, being representatives of order and chaos in this dimension. This opposition created a dynamic similar to that of Sherlock and Moriarty and some other media characters Star mentioned that he didn't bother to listen to. They had a dance that was carefully constructed, maybe by outside forces like that stupid Axolotl.
For a third person to enter… it was messy and downright rude.
He was nearing an apex of power, created from his, Dipper's, and this new opponent's energy. His own energy was flooding back to him, making him more powerful and allowing him to proper use his demonic senses (after all his "fans" may have initially created this form but he did take some… artistic liberties with it).
That's when he heard the heartbeat.
It was rapid and out of control, like a frightened baby bird's.
He followed it to its source… and then those… feelings welled up inside him.
Dipper was lying on the floor like a shattered china doll.
His clothes are soaked with blood that's welling from the gaping wound in his side. His legs are probably crushed underneath the metal shelf that had fallen on him. His arm is bent at an unnatural angle with bone sticking out of the skin. His heart and chest are moving rapidly to allow him shallow breaths.
And yet… he's fighting.
It should be a beautiful sight.
But Bill… he feels like he's cold and drowning and that stupid organ in his chest is constricting without his permission. Whatever plan he had had left, he stops functioning… everything seems to be centering around Dipper.
He runs to Dipper's side and throws the shelf off.
Dipper lets out a quiet whimper and opens his eyes, which should be vibrant and alert not dull and glassy as they are. "Bill?" His voice doesn't even sound right to the demon.
"Quiet Pine Tree." He barked as he weaved the bones in the boy's arm back together, but it seems like Dipper is having none of it.
He's rolling his head side to side in some weak attempt to say no. "Leave… G-get…"
"I said quiet Pine Tree!" Bill snaps, baring his teeth at Dipper as his "normal" eye turns red.
The human has the audacity to smile. "Bill…" He's wheezing, the oxygen isn't enough in the burning and smoke filled store to sustain his failing body (Bill isn't even going to consider that this brat is dying). "You need… you need to get… get them out…"
Bill snarls and grabs his face, covering his mouth. He squeezes as a warning as he moves to the worst of his injuries.
He's pale and clammy. The heartbeat is weakening and the light is fading.
Dipper grabs Bill's wrist with a bloodied hand and stares at him. It feels like the boy is staring through him and unraveling everything that makes Bill who he is. It's an act of flat out defiance.
Then the hand falls as those eyes roll back and the heartbeat fades.
The light is gone.
Bill feels like someone punched him in the gut.
Dipper is gone.
Bill can't breathe. His hands are shaking.
Every interaction the two had floods his mind. Dipper's voice, his smile, the laughter he and Mabel shared at his expense…
It's gone. It's all gone.
That blip… Bill can't find it… He can't find it.
He can't find Dipper. HE CAN'T FIND DIPPER!
This is panic.
Bill's panicking.
He doesn't like it, he should be the one causing this fear, not experiencing it. This feeling is worse than when the family ruined Weirdmageddon and his power left him. He needs to calm down.
Desperation helps him form a plan, and he doesn't like it.
He's a demon.
Demons can possess people, steal their souls, use their magic to bind things. They bind lesser beings to themselves to create loyal servants or lovers. It's a frowned upon practice because a demon should be able to have loyal servants based on their level of power. Plus, it makes the other being stronger and live as long as the demon.
Dipper is his enemy.
His fate is to die at his hands.
If the plan works… he can't kill Dipper. The human would be immortal and his true equal in power.
But Bill doesn't have a choice if he doesn't want to be destroyed again by the Pines.
He needs to restart Dipper's heart if this is going to work.
Bill gathers energy into his hands and places them over Dipper's heart. He sends all it into that still organ.
Nothing.
He tries again.
Nothing.
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT…" He tries again. "TO LEAVE THIS PLACE…" Again. " E!" His voice rumbles both inside and outside his human form, shaking containers and rattling shards of glass as he puts enough energy into the still body to take out Portland's power grid.
This time, Dipper responds with a gasp as oxygen is drawn into his broken body and Bill let loose a sigh of relief as that heartbeat starts again.
Unfortunately, Dipper is going to die all over again if he doesn't finish.
He bites his thumb hard enough to draw blood and holds the human's bangs away from his forehead, snorting at the constellation birthmark. Yes, the boy has freckles that map out the stars on his body, but all that means is that he's one of a kind. There's no magical or prophetic correlation, no mystical reason… It just means that the stars are watching him.
Stars can't do much.
With his thumb he draws his triangle form on the boy's forehead and bites Dipper's thumb and crudely draws the pine tree zodiac on his own. The blood dries and he places his forehead against the other's. Then with a deep breath he starts the incantation in his demonic language.
Objects shake, the light around them dims as darkness starts to seep in and smother it out. Bill's voice echoes, sounding like a choir that's been chewing on glass. The bloodied drawings glow as the two energies weave together into something new.
Dipper's eyes open, glowing blue as he starts to recite the incantation as well. Bill's eyes glow gold as the world around the two start to physically crack and the voices grow louder.
Then it stops, Bill's sitting up and gasping for air.
Dipper's eyes close and his head lolls to the side. His heartbeat and breathing even out as the wounds stitch themselves together. He's gaining color again and the blip that marks his existence shows up again.
Bill laughs, sounding both exhausted and crazed as this new energy races through his veins, hot and addicting. "Not bad Pine Tree… not bad…" He mutters as he feels stronger than he did ten years ago. He stands up on shaky legs, flicking his wrist and watching as pure energy sits in his palm. "Not bad at all."
He hefts Dipper into his arms as carefully as one would be holding a baby bird and glances at his surroundings.
The place is still a mess, but there's not a lot of cover and the attacker is moving.
Bill notices a tornado shed lined up with the rest of the indoor sheds and garden supplies. There's a few dents but it looks like it'll hold until he can come back.
He didn't even manage a few steps before he was blasted by magic, sending him and Dipper back to the ground.
It felt like lava was spreading through his body, slowly burning every cell. The excruciating pain centered around the left side of his face and he could taste blood in his mouth. Fuck he probably bit his tongue.
His vision righted itself to show his not normal eye floating in air and Gideon in that stupid colored suit making the ripped out organ spin like a top with a finger. His other hand is holding a glowing shoddy put together item made out of semi-expensive shit.
Gideon Gleeful really had jack shit when it comes to magic naturally. He needs an item to even pull the simplest spells, unlike Dipper. It probably had to do with the fucking ego he has and how he can't pull himself away from his… fantasies… with Star. If she thought he was creepy and evil before, oh boy would she get a kick out of what went through his head.
"Therapy success story" his ass!
Gideon looked down at Bill. "I thought I heard someone else here. So you're the magician Pines' been hanging out with."
"And you're a giant pain in the ass." Bill retorted, grinning at the color spreading in his face. He got back up on his feet, swaying a bit due to his injury and blood loss. "Yeah I heard about you from S- Mabel. Though I heard you can't do magic since she broke your amulet." So the shit didn't know who he really was. That could work in his favor.
Oooh now he looks angry. That's good.
Maybe Stan will let him borrow an eyepatch since he's short an eye now.
Gideon smirked. "Well that's not the case anymore, 'cause you see I took a little detour into the Nightmare Realm and got a… let's say I got a bonus from the trip. It helps with my plan on killing Pines, marrying his sister, and ruling this dimension and the Nightmare Realm." He starts giggling. "I'm going to be a much better demon than Cipher ever was."
Oh.
Oh.
OOOOOOOOHHHHH…
So that's how it happened huh?
While he was stuck as a statue, Gideon was gathering power. He probably used a copy of the journals to siphon the other demons' life force away with that item, thinking he was gone for good.
Bill became tight lipped as he stumbled (balance and gravity weren't giving him a pass for losing a fucking eye) back to Dipper.
"DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!" Gideon yelled, using that item of his to knock Bill off his unsteady feet.
Yeah the landing hurt, but his body was absorbing the energy. His energy.
Bill landed next to Dipper and placed two fingers on his throat, feeling (eugh) relieved that there was a steady pulse. Then he grabbed his cane and used it as a crutch.
"Hey kid, you sure you're going to be a better demon? From what I remember you were a coward ten years ago." Bill grinned as all the energy in the entire building that belonged to him and Pine Tree rushed through his body. The injury on his face was healing (sans the eye, magic can't regrow organs) and his power was surging, making his body flexible to change.
Was he angry?
Oh he was livid.
The psychotic man-child was trying to take his power away from him, got involved with his and Pine Tree's business… hell he tried taking the kid away from him. The only one that was going to kill the kid was him.
Correction: he did take Pine Tree away. He brought him back but he took him away in the first place.
Yeah he's livid, and he's going to fucking roll with it.
He could feel his remaining eye turn black and his body shifting, arms growing and power just itching to be let loose. Sure his clothes weren't going to survive but that was a minor setback.
Gideon looked terrified as four gold arms twisted around Bill, casually tossing fireballs up and down.
Bill on the other hand, well he grinned as he twisted the cane's top and pulled out a blade (he felt classy having a cane sword so sue him). He was ready to test out what he could do with this new power coursing through him and with Gideon essentially trying to fuck him over… well he can't look a gift horse in the mouth now could he? "You sure have some balls, Gideon…" His voice was radiating from everywhere with other "voices" joining in. "To think you can replace me. I like that, but you ruined some big plans I had by stepping in."
Yeah, he has plans. Dipper being his enemy and not his (ugh) soulmate, god that felt gross to say, is a big part of it. It can still work if he can undo the bond within five minutes. But this brat… he needs to go.
Five minutes should be more than enough to deal with Gideon.
Speaking of Gideon, the brat now looked like he was going to fight. Oh, this is going to be fun… after all Gideon isn't going to make it out of this one.
"You wanna go, kid!? The O!"
Nope… the only way out for him was to be carried out… in fucking pieces.