The Space Between, a kingdom hearts fanfic

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and Disney, not me. All song lyrics belong to their respective artists.

A belated V-day fic, though I started it on the day (it took sooo looong). Hope you enjoy. ^_^

Cookies for you if you guess who Riku's mom is (which starts to get pretty obvious after a while, but... meh)!

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"God is never closer than when the space between two hearts narrows." - Joan Borysenko

The two-year-old boy with unruly chocolate hair squealed with laughter as he toddled through the playground, his mother watching with a smile nearby. All the other children were playing except for one boy with striking teal eyes and silver hair who stood by the edge of the playground and bit his lip. He also watched the small boy. His own mother sighed and urged him gently, "Go on, Riku. Doesn't that little boy look nice? Why don't you show him where the swings are?" Riku shook his head quickly and turned to tug on his mother's hand.

"Push me, mommy. Please?" The boy pulled his mother to the swings and she helped him get on. All along he continued to watch the smaller boy intently. The other boy would run and laugh and he looked back at his own mother and grinned every once in a while before running slightly farther from her like his own game of chase. He never looked in front of him before he started running.

Soon the boy was quite close to Riku and his mother. Suddenly the other woman called a warning: "Sora-!" Without looking the boy tripped over one of the smaller play structures, scraping his knee. Big blue eyes filled quickly as the boy, Sora, laid his head on the ground and let out a wail. Riku's little face twisted with upset and he quickly wriggled off the swing and ran to the distraught boy. Both women watched closely and Sora's mother slowed her approach a little. Riku picked Sora up awkwardly by wrapping his arms around his neck and side. Blue eyes that had become red and puffy gazed up at him and Riku rubbed the younger boy's back like mommy did when he was sad.

"Did you get a owie?"

Lip still quivering slightly, Sora nodded. "Yeah." He whimpered and pointed tellingly to the red mark on his knee.

"It needs a magic kiss. Here." Riku made a smacking noise as he kissed the other boy's knee and left a tiny bit of sticky chocolate left over from his ice cream cone earlier. Patting the tended appendage where the skin remained smooth Riku gave a small smile that still held a pinprick of uncertainty. "All better?"

Sora beamed. "Yeah! You catch me!" Blue eyes shone brightly as the boy quickly got to his feet, stumbling only slightly. He ran a little ways and looked back when he didn't hear any footsteps behind him. Riku stood frowning and when Sora met his eyes he shuffled his feet. Sora frowned too and walked back to Riku - then he grinned and grabbed the taller boy's hand. "Come on!"

It didn't take Riku long to begin keeping stride with Sora. Over by the swing set two mothers exchanged smiles, names, and phone numbers.

Riku never hesitated to follow Sora again.

When Sora was old enough his mother sent him to the same preschool Riku went to. The educators laughed at how inseperable the two were. Even when they had fights, they would instantly make up whenever one of them found something new to show one another, or whenever Sora was sad or hurt because the magic kiss didn't work when anyone else did it. Or at least, that's what they had decided. It had to change to the magic hug after they were continually reminded: "No kisses in preschool, friends." Unless Sora was very, very upset - then an exception was made because as long as it didn't happen all the time it wasn't a big deal for spreading germs.

Sometimes when Sora struggled with something Riku would show him how to do it or do it for him but after that Sora always practiced and practiced until he could do things just as well as Riku. Some things took a little longer than others, but Sora never gave up. He always wanted to do what Riku was doing. Sometimes once he'd gotten the hang of something he'd help Kairi, too. When Kairi had first arrived Riku had been quite wary of her. Sora was always the more social of the two. But she was nice and funny and didn't irritate him like some of the other children unless Sora gave her a hug. That made him angry because Sora was his friend and Kairi played with them sometimes but she didn't belong in the little world they'd made.

But it made Sora happy to see her happy and so Riku slowly, very slowly, made a little room for her, too. Also, Sora hugged everyone... so that made it a little less of a big deal. There were many things that Sora did with Riku that he didn't do with anyone else. Like waiting with him for his dad when he could be playing.

On the rare occassions when Riku's father didn't have to work, Sora cheered with him as they waited excitedly for the man to walk through the door at pick up time. Often, Sora ended up giving Riku his own magic hug (and a little, secret kiss) when Riku's mother appeared and explained with a sad smile, "Daddy got called into work, sweetie. I'm sorry."

Then Riku was especially grateful for Sora's presence and comfort because on these days mommy was always very sad and needed lots of kisses of her own, so he couldn't be too upset. Today he said his goodbye quietly. "Bye, Sora. Thanks for waiting with me." He gave his friend one more hug, which he probably needed more than Sora, and told his mommy about his day without prompting on the way home. She was quiet and only smiled sometimes but Riku knew that she wanted to know because she always asked every other day.

The hugs slowly dwindled out of their regular communication as the boys grew older and came to learn that it was a "weird thing" for boys to do. This caused both of them to frown but they shrugged it off after a while. The older they grew more and more things seemed "weird" to their peers. Riku's hair, for instance, was quickly criticized by the other kids in his class. They would tell him only old people had grey hair, and that only girls wore it long. He repeated those observations to Sora in an offhand tone at recess, trying to hear his best friend's thoughts on the matter without letting on that it bothered him. Sora looked carefully at Riku's hair as if seeing it for the first time and laughed. "Huh. I guess it is kind of strange. You're the only person I've ever met with silver hair, Riku. How do you play soccer and stuff with it in your face?" The comment was thoughtless and casual, but it made Riku's stomach drop. "Riku? What's up?" Sora asked as the other boy didn't respond. Riku scowled and stalked inside for the rest of recess. "Riku!" He slammed the door on his way. Sora thought he looked like some old woman like everyone else. Sora never used to laugh at him.

Another one of the new things that changed as they grew was that these kinds of comments from Sora bothered Riku more, though he didn't realize why or even recognize that they did.

Also, he and Sora weren't in the same class. Being one year younger than him and in classes with Kairi, they only got to see each other at recess and lunch time when they were at school and when Sora talked about his morning it was always "Kairi did this" and "Kairi said that" and... Ugh. Sora talked about himself, too, but it was all about these fun things that he was doing with KAIRI. Times Riku was missing. So whenever Sora would start talking about her Riku would get angry (not at Kairi, really, just the situation) and start a competition. Who could run the fastest to that tree? Who could spin the longest on the tire swing without feeling sick? Who could go back and forth on the monkey bars the longest? Some days when he was feeling particularly bitter he even said stuff like, "Bet you I could do it better. Then Kairi will want to play with me instead." What was so great about her, anyways? These days left Sora very confused, Riku very frustrated, and Kairi... with an irritatingly knowing look on her face, a sigh, and a shrug.

That night Riku's mother was lucky enough to catch him with the scissors before he hacked his hair off. "Riku! What are you doing?"

"I'm cutting my hair." He said matter-of factly, but his furrowed brows betrayed him.

"...You know that if you want it cut we can go have it cut. Is it bothering you, getting in your eyes too much?"

"It's stupid. It makes me look like a girl... and like I'm really old. I hate it." He scowled darkly. What she'd said had sounded so much like what Sora had said. But it sounded more reasonable coming from her. Maybe that's how Sora might have meant it...

"It's never bothered you before. Did someone say something at school?" Riku shook his head.

"Everyone did. Even Sora." The blonde woman hmmed in thought.

"That doesn't sound like something Sora would say... You know how he talks better than I do, Riku." And he did. Sora wouldn't make fun of him just for his hair. Plus they'd known each other forever; if he did it wasn't malicious. Riku didn't want to admit that it bothered him that everyone else thought so, though. He never really was good at talking to people except Sora, so he didn't really have anyone to talk to in his class. And now everyone made fun of him, too. The only time anyone in class paid him any positive attention was in gym, really. He was quite strong and fast and good at every sport they played but success on the field didn't translate to social skills. It also didn't help that Riku... wasn't really interested in the other kids. He just felt more comfortable with the small group of friends he already had.

When Riku didn't say anything, his mother sighed and gently took the scissors from him. "Want me to give it a trim? Or if you really want to we can go to the hairdressers and cut it short."

He frowned and shook his head. "Nah. I guess just trimming it is fine." They picked out a movie and his mother took her time with the trimming, careful to not make mistakes and running her hands through Riku's hair soothingly as she selected strands to cut. Riku sighed and just focused on thinking about nothing. He only partially took in the movie and didn't really notice when his mother finally put down the scissors and simply smoothed his hair. He slowly drifted off into dreams where he and Sora saved the planet from aliens with bland hair and giant lips. Kairi was Mission Control.

The next day Riku found Sora on the playground and nudged him with his leg. "Hey. Wanna kill aliens?" Sora stared at him for a moment and then beamed.

"Yeah!" They made haphazard guns and swords out of sticks and ran around screaming. Things were good again.

"There is one advantage to being me. Something you could never imitate."

"Really? What's that?"

"Having you for a friend." - Riku and Sora, KHII

When they were ten (though Riku was 11) Kairi and Sora shared their first kiss. Sora had to lean up because Kairi was starting to get a bit taller than him. All the girls their age were starting to gain on them, actually. Both pulled back with thoughtful looks on their faces. The bell rang and Kairi smiled at Sora; she gestured for him to follow before heading inside. Sora held back, taking a moment to ponder on the kiss. It was strange. He didn't see what the big deal was. The only reason they'd done it was because Selphie had asked, "If you guys are going out, how come you never kiss?" Of course the answer had been that they weren't going out, at which point Selphie rolled her eyes and replied, "Right, okay." But it had caused them to wonder what kissing each other would be like. With all the excitement over things like this Sora had thought it was supposed to feel like... well, something other than damp skin on his. Too bad Riku was sick today, or he could've asked him about it at lunch.

When Sora eventually did ask Riku about it on the phone, the other boy's tone suddenly became very cold, "So, what? Are you guys 'going out' or whatever that Selphie girl says, now? That's stupid. You're only ten." The crack at his age made Sora's hackles raise, Riku knew how he felt about not being able to keep up with him.

"Hey! I'm only one year younger than you! You're stupid!"

"Well, good thing I'm so stupid, then. You'll have lots more time with Kairi." Riku practically spat those last words and Sora could hear him slam the phone down on his end.

Sora's anger faded fairly quickly, to be replaced by depression when Riku wouldn't talk to him the next day. Or the next. Or the next. And it continued. Sora spoke to Kairi, telling her about how he'd decided that it might be better if they didn't kiss again. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be and he was going crazy trying to get Riku to talk to him again. Especially after he started noticing his (ex?)best friend getting more and more quiet, even for him, throughout the days.

After a month of continuous silent treatment, Riku came up to Sora's room and curled up with his head in Sora's lap. Sora was shocked to find that silent tears had begun pouring ceaselessly down Riku's face. Shoving his homework aside Sora let his arm rest over Riku's side, half-embracing him, and slowly covered Riku's other hand with his own. Uncertainly, he began rubbing his thumb in small circles over Riku's palm and the other boy didn't object. They sat there in silence for at least an hour, the only sounds an occasional gulp from Riku in order to reign in a sob and the ticking of the clock. Riku didn't explain and Sora didn't ask.

Hugs weren't magic anymore. Riku was still quieter than before and everything came clear when Riku spent the next weekend at Sora's house while his mother had a mastectomy and began chemotherapy. When Riku's father wasn't working he was with her in the hospital, and she didn't want her son to have to spend his time there.

"Slow down, what's on your mind.

It's alright, I'm on your side.

I hate to see your injury,

I wish that you could transfer all your pain to me.

Stay here; it's okay to cry.

Let me help you make it right.

Lets turn up the radio;

Let the bands remind you that you're not alone.

We all get low." - Karmina, Walk You Home

Watching his mom lose her hair was... hard. Really hard. Especially on that day he noticed how shiny her eyes were reflected in the mirror and her laughter came out so forced, "No wonder your father rarely comes home, Riku. Look at the mess I make."

Riku decided he hated his father right then. "Mom... you're beautiful. Screw dad, he doesn't know anything."

"Riku, language! You shouldn't talk that way about your father..." Despite her statement her laughter was a little less forced. Then she grew quiet again and the moments dragged past. "...Do you remember when you were worried about what everyone thought of your hair?"

"Huh? Yeah... I guess..." It seemed like such a trivial thing, now. He felt his face flush, feeling immature.

"I just... I love your hair Riku. It's something that's only yours, and it doesn't make you look girly. You look very handsome. But I think Sora would be your friend no matter what your hair looked like. There are a lucky few in the world who have a friend like him. He treasures you even when you forget to treasure yourself." She pushed a silver strand behind his ear, "Which is too often, you hear me? Don't make Sora do all the work."

His throat knotted uncomfortably. "Just don't forget your own advice, right mom?" She laughed and shook her head.

"Deal. Even so, I'd better make myself presentable for today. I can't go see Za- ...Dr. Fair in my housecoat."

"Tell him I said hi."

"And it came to me then: that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time." - Death Cab for Cutie, What Sarah Said

No one said anything about it when Sora didn't leave Riku's side once during the funeral service. It made things right - knowing that he needed Sora made him feel better about his dry eyes. He wanted to cry, but couldn't bring himself to. It was all trapped in his throat and it made his head hurt.

It had been a shock that no one had expected - by the time they caught it again, it had spread too far. It was too late.

Sora didn't really know what to do with himself. He had a part in the mourning (it was his best friend's mom, after all, she was like his surrogate mom half the time) but at the same time he was so separate from the level of grief that Riku was feeling. This time he couldn't think of any jokes to help make things seem better, and he didn't have any gems of wisdom either. He'd never felt younger. So he took Riku's hand in his, like when they were partners back in preschool, and squeezed. With another guy it would have been weird. With Riku it was just natural because, well...

He was Riku.

Just as everyone was heading away towards the reception, Riku spotted the man standing in the back of the room, looking uncertain. He hadn't lined up for the viewing. Riku squared his shoulders and waited for the room empty more before going to him.

"Dr. Fair?" The dark haired man, who'd been staring at something in his palm looking deep in thought, jumped at being addressed.

"Oh! ...Riku." A crooked smile found its way to his lips. "No need to call me Dr. Fair here. I didn't really do my job, now, did I?"

"Bullshit. Come on. She'd want to see you. She always wanted to see you."

Sora smiled.

The two friends led Zack to the casket, where he just stood and stared for a moment. Then he smiled as he brushed a stray bang out of her face. Her hair had grown back, but now it would never even be close to the length it once was. Pulling out a smooth pink ribbon, he ran his fingers over the fabric before deftly tying it around the stem of the lily clasped in her hands. As he pulled away, he hesitated, and Riku saw a strange glimmer in his hand. "Wait, what's that?"

Zack halted, his breath catching, and he shook his head. "Nothing gets past you, does it, kid?" Riku shoved down the instinctual irritation at being called a kid and remained silent, watching Zack's hands and face as he spoke. "I wanted to give it to her once she was completely better... she wouldn't be my patient anymore, then, and maybe something..." He sighed and traced the band of the simple, silvery ring in his palm. He looked tired. "Too many 'if-only's in this world already, guys. There's no need to make more."

Riku stared for a moment, his face had gone blank. Sora watched his friend and bit his lip uncertainly. Riku stepped forward and gently lifted his mother's left hand. And just like that, he pulled the two time-worn bands from her fingers. He clenched his fist around them and had to suppress the urge to throw them as far away as he could. Instead he moved the rings onto his mother's right hand, leaving her other one bear.

"She'd want to wear it. Put it on." Sora followed Riku out. Just before the door closed behind him he glanced back. Zack had knelt before the casket. The door clicked shut.

Too many 'if-only's...

The reception went well until a few boys made a gagging noise at Riku's hand still clasped in Sora's. Sora was only mildly surprised when his hand became empty and the boy who had spoken dropped to the ground, crying out and holding his nose. The other boys quickly retaliated and even before a fist connected with Riku's jaw Sora was on top of another one.

Needless to say, it was an eventful reception. The fight was 5 against 2 so even though both Sora and Riku got a few good hits in, they were both a mess by the end. Riku's father didn't even seem to know how to respond, angered, grieved and exhausted as he was. It was probably for the best that Sora's mother agreed to take them both home, as when the man tried to talk to Riku he only scowled and stomped outside.

The ride to Sora's house was silent and his mother wasn't surprised when she opened the door that they both slipped up to his room silently. For a moment they simply stared at each other, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

Riku reached forward and lightly touched the tender skin under Sora's eye, and his friend flinched slightly. "That's gonna be a pretty wicked shiner, Sor." Sora could only grin.

"Yeah... you've got your share, too. It was worth it, though - did you see that guys face? I think you might've broken his nose!" Of course, Sora wasn't usually so gung-ho about bodily injury, but right now the whole thing just seemed really funny.

Riku seemed to agree, because before a sound even came out of him his shoulders began shaking in silent laughter. When the sound finally came it bubbled out, high and uncontrollable, and though Sora laughed too he knew his tone didn't have the same desperate edge.

Riku laughed and laughed until tears squeezed from his eyes and it seemed as though he had trouble breathing and still he laughed until the sounds turned to gulps of air and wrenching sobs, loud and unyielding as he collapsed into Sora's embrace. Riku hands gripped and clenched so hard over Sora's back that it hurt, and Sora only pulled Riku closer and ran a hand through his silver hair, careful as his fingers caught at tangles. He felt his own eyes sting a little and soon he could taste salt on his lips. They stayed like that until Riku's breathing was raw and his hiccups dwindled. Then they played video games until morning, though neither really concentrated. Every once in a while Sora would kick Riku's legs, and the short moment the lost look in his eyes faded was worth retaliation every time.

Sora had never seen Riku cry so much... before or since that night.

"Through all the hard times in my life... those nights kept me alive." - Skillet, Those Nights

It was Namine that first called Riku's attention to it. In grade 8 she was really the only person he hung out with at school. She was very down-to-earth and he had a lot of respect for her. Plus she didn't fawn over him like a lot of the other girls did, something he really didn't understand. He just didn't think about his appearance that much, except for the fact that he never cut or dyed his hair, only trimmed it. Everyone around him sort of went crazy. Either people fawned over him or called him a fag (which was really only guys, and it was probably due to his hair so he didn't really care). Namine only approached him because she was curious about him - to her, he didn't seem socially awkward, just... disinterested. He never spent time with Namine outside of school, though. He was usually at Sora's place.

Namine's curiousity poked it's head out again when Sora got into grade 8. Riku had never really told her about him because, well... he didn't really talk about himself with her. Usually they sat in companionable silence or talked about school work, or more broad subjects than their other friends and hobbies. Namine had a big interest in philosophy and anthropology, so she was always thinking about something interesting, and when she shared it with Riku they would talk about it.

Sora (and Kairi) instantly liked Namine, and she fit herself into their whole group fairly seamlessly. She really did enjoy spending time with people who didn't keep everything quite so close to the chest, and she and Kairi in particular became very close. While Kairi was a little girlier than Namine, she wasn't nearly as... crazy as a lot of the girls their age. So they both could be a little girly when it was just them and also spend time with Riku and Sora (without losing their minds like a lot of girls did around Riku).

One afternoon during their lunch period, Sora went to get them all drinks, and Namine broached a topic she'd been wondering about for the past little while.

"Riku, do you realize that you've smiled more around Sora for this past week and a half than I think you've ever smiled for the entirety of last year?"

"You've noticed, huh?" Kairi spoke up around a small bite of her sandwich. Riku raised his brow at both them as he grabbed another fry from Sora's lunch tray. He had his own fries, but taking Sora's was always more entertaining.

"...Okay. So?" Kairi glanced at Namine and put her sandwich down, tapping her nails on the table as she considered how to phrase it.

"Nami's wondering if you know the reason that Sora's always been different from everyone else for you. Besides that he's your best friend. Especially when you also usually think girls are a pain, or... well, us. And I know you've thought I'm annoying every once in a while, too, but that was more because of stuff with Sora." Namine nodded.

Riku frowned in thought at their words. "Well, you know that, Kairi. Sora's just... Sora." The girls shared another look and dropped the subject as Riku turned back to Sora's fries.

After Sora returned with their drinks and whined about Riku taking his fries ("...and yours have vinegar on them so I can't take them!"), he was curious himself as to what had set Riku into Deep-Thought mode. The difference from his usual self was actual quite small to most people, but Sora could always tell. He decided not to ask for now.

And Riku did think. Despite what you might initially assume, his conclusion was not a groundbreaking epiphany, or even particularly gut-wrenching. Like he'd first said to Kairi and Namine: Sora was Sora. He had always meant more to Riku than... well, anyone (family members aside). This realization didn't really change anything, he just had a name for his feelings. Riku had never really cared about who was gay or straight or what people thought of it, and he'd stopped caring about what random people he didn't know thought about him a while ago. Sora mattered more than any of that, so... so what?

A part of him, the part that had hesitated in the park all those years ago, was too scared to do anything about it. The rest of him just flat out... didn't know what to do.

So life went on. Riku didn't bring up the topic again and neither did Kairi or Namine. Nothing was broken, and nothing changed.

"All the time that I was holding back, just trying to protect myself... I want you to know I loved you more than that." - Damhnait Doyle, Say What You Will

When Selphie Tilmitt asked Sora out on a date in grade 9, Sora... didn't really know what to say. All he knew was that he didn't feel right saying no because he wasn't seeing anyone and Selphie was a perfectly nice girl. It would be cruel to reject her just because his stomach twisted maliciously at the thought of telling Riku about it. Riku was always bothered by these kinds of things.

"What?? Selphie? Sora, she hardly has two brain cells to rub together!" Sora frowned at his friend.

"That's not fair, Riku, you've hardly ever spoken two words to Selphie. You barely know her." Riku scowled darkly down at his calculus homework, though it actually had nothing to do with the math. Riku took other things out on his math homework. Sora just hated it for being itself.

"I know enough. She's a ditz, Sora, she'll probably spend the whole night yammering about other guys she's dated and then slobber all over you!" Sora was pretty sure that the last part of that was what most guys were supposed to hope for on a date. Like a wetter version of his sixth grade encounter with Kairi. Hopefully Selphie wouldn't want that on a first date...

"Riku, she's nice, she IS smart whether you believe it or not, and we'll probably have fun. There's no reason for me not to go!" Riku stopped pretending to work on his problem and turned to Sora with a look in his eyes that the shorter boy couldn't read. Then he turned away and slammed his book shut.

"Fuck!" Sora heard over the smack of papers clumping together and he almost missed Riku's next words as the other boy zipped up his binder. "Whatever, Sora. Do what you want. See you monday."

And just like that, he was gone.

"It's getting hard to be around you. There's so much I can't say. Do you want me to have the feelings and look the other way?" - Jesse McCartney, Just So You Know

Both Kairi and Namine wondered why both Sora and Riku were angry and depressed for most of the next week. Sora in particular didn't know what to do. He couldn't just drop Selphie because Riku was upset and being a jerk, but in all honesty, he wanted to. He wanted things to be good again, somehow. He needed something different to say... something that would take Riku's attention off of Selphie and remind him that they were friends, no matter what.

Riku knew he was being unreasonable. He usually did, but that didn't mean he could change what he felt. It was just like Sora said... He had no reason not to go out with Selphie. Riku hadn't given him one. And Sora was a good friend but Riku was pretty sure that that was all he wanted to be. Riku was usually... well, not fine with that, but okay... but once Sora fell in love he'd probably never see him. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration... but it would feel close enough, Riku was sure.

"Oh! Oh, Riku! I just had the best idea! We should dye your hair pink!" Riku jumped as his train of thought was cut off abruptly.

"What the hell, Sora?"

"Um... okay, so the idea sounded better in my head. You might look a bit like that Marlulu guy in grade 12 who's dating that bug chick. But we could do it next week! For October, you know?" It would certainly be a step up from the pink ribbon. Even though he never changed his hair, not changing it for this purpose (if he elected to) would sort of defeat the purpose of that anyways.

"We'll just get one of those rinse kinds... I'll even do it, too! It'll be funny, we'll look ridiculous! Come on, Riku, pleeeaase?"

"Well, you're right, there. We would look ridiculous." But Sora was giving him that look where his eyes went wide and earnest and this was more important to him than hair colour and there was no escape. "Fine. We'll do it. Moron." Sora beamed and Riku felt the corners of his lips turn up inadvertently.

They stained clothes and towels. Sora had a bad reaction to the smell of bleach and was twitching for a couple of hours. As anticipated, they looked completely ridiculous. And Riku fingered anyone who made a dig about his hair until it washed out because it was Sora's idea.

But they smiled.

Selphie, as it turned out, had plenty of brain cells to rub together and could certainly put two-and-two together. More than one person breathed a sigh of relief when she broke up with Sora, making a strange and confusing comment about "seeing other people" when they'd only been on one date.

After that Sora decided that he just wasn't ready for dating. It was too confusing and really not worth all the angst (which, strangely enough, never seemed to directly involve the girl).

"Then I guess I'm okay the way I am. I've got something you could never imitate, too." - Sora, KHII

The dreams started out very vague and for a long time Sora didn't even know who it was, only that they smelled oddly familiar.

That is, they were vague until Sora walked in his cousin Roxas gratuitously making out with a certain red-headed best friend of his at a family reunion.

("My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

"You're not wearing goggles, you prick."

"I know, I've just always wanted to say that. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go burn out my retinas. Couldn't have told me in a subtler way, Roxas?"

"Subtle isn't really Roxy's thi-oof!"

"DON'T call me Roxy.")

After that things became quite clear. Everything. The voice, the eyes, the hair, the skin, the lips, the... Gaaah. Everything, okay?

He couldn't look Riku in the eye for a long while. When he finally did... he couldn't look away.

Riku had started talking about "getting out of this town" once he graduated. At times the thought made Sora feel physically ill. Of course he understood where Riku was coming from: Riku hated his father and living where he did. Even without that, Riku had always had a rather restless spirit.

But Riku graduated in half a year and Sora still had a year and a half to go. This time when Riku moved on Sora wouldn't be able to follow him.

Riku tended to plan things outloud with Sora, Kairi and Namine at lunch a lot. It was a good way for him to sort out his own thoughts, and Kairi and Namine always had helpful suggestions. Sora tried to be supportive, smiling, listening, and giving ideas. All the while the knot in his stomach grew more and more gnarled.

Today he spilled his drink as he slammed his tray on the table. "Why is it so important?? Why do you have to do all this now?"

"I can't just run off without any plan-"

"So you sit there asking us to help you escape! Why are you so desperate to leave us behind?" Sora felt ridiculous. He was making a scene and he knew it, and good god, he was pretty sure his voice just cracked. Bye, masculinity! See you in a few years, maybe!

"Sora, I -"

"I just... you... ARGH!" Sora's nose caught on Riku's as he mashed their lips together angrily. It was quick and rough and certainly nothing like any other kiss Sora had ever given or received. After he pulled away Sora shoved his fries in front of Riku's face and stalked out, grumbling, "I'm not hungry."

"Gravity is not responsible for falling in love." - Attributed to Albert Einstein

Sora wasn't in 4th period, and he didn't go home, either. For one thing his mom would automatically know he skipped, and he kind of wanted to avoid that for as long as possible, and for another thing that would be the first place Riku looked for him. So he wandered around aimlessly until he ended up in a park. He didn't remember, but it was the park that started everything.

Riku found him anyway. By then the sky was starting to turn a pale pink. The chains of the swing next to him creaked in protest as Riku joined him and slowly started to pump. "Hey."

"...Hey." Sora reluctantly copied Riku's actions, not meeting his eyes. For a long while there was nothing but the sound of creaking chains as their swings moved back and forth, sometimes in sync, and sometimes frustratingly impossible to match.

Riku's words, when he finally decided to speak, didn't really shed any light on the situation for Sora. " So. Apparently we're both retarded."

Sora stopped the motion of his swing and stared at Riku. "What? That was definitely just me losing my mind in public, there." Riku jumped off the swing and turned around at the same time like the show-off he really was but Sora couldn't think about that right now because Riku was suddenly quite close to him. Riku had wrapped his hands around Sora's over the chains of the swing to stop any lingering motion and shook his head.

"Not about that, genius." Then all Sora could think about was Riku's lips on his and pale thumbs smoothing the skin of his hands and the musky, soapy smell that invaded his nostrils. Fairly soon he was frantically trying to get his hands free to touch Riku, to feel Riku.

Neither was thinking very clearly so before any sort of caressing or groping could happen they fell backwards off of the swing, Sora's head crunching on the rocks as he accidently bit into Riku's lip quite hard.

"Mmphahh!"

"God damnit!"

They lay there for a moment, both breathing heavily and cursing under their breath. Then Riku sighed and touched his lip, noting the red liquid that came away on his finger.

"You okay?" Sora nodded slowly, eyes dazed. Whether from the fall or their current position, Riku couldn't be sure.

"Yeah. How's your lip?"

"Bleeding." Sora winced.

"Sorry." Riku shrugged and turned over, sitting up. When he looked back down, Sora was still staring up at him.

"You know that I have work up the money for like a year after grad before I go traveling, right?"

Sora blinked and sat up. He stared at Riku. Then he pulled his fist back and punched the other boy in the ribs.

"Ow! Sora!" Riku coughed. Sora flailed his arms furiously.

"I can't believe you let me worry about this for how long before I freaked out in front of the entire school, Riku!"

"I'm sorry, I figured that you'd want to go to some college far away and find a girlfriend with huge boobs or something!"

They stared at each other, Sora incredulous and Riku bleeding, cradling his rib defensively, before both burst out laughing.

The echoes were different from the sounds of their younger laughter, but the more things changed...

"Hey, wanna know something gross?" The more they stayed the same.

"What?"

"I still want to kiss you with your bleeding lip, you gross-mouth."

"You would."

"Kiss me down by the broken tree house. Swing me upon its hanging tire. ... Oh, so kiss me. So kiss me. So kiss me. So kiss me." - New Found Glory, Kiss Me

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Gaaargh, this took forever. It was fun to write, but I don't think I've included so many... dimensions to a fic I've written before. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and I'd encourage you to look up any songs I referenced in this fic... they are awesome!

To anyone who hasn't already figured out who Riku's mom was... it was Aerith! Take a cookie if you guessed it right. ^_^

Thanks for reading! Psst, if you review I'll love you forever! x3

Love from,

Kelska