I was holding onto my mums hand, blood stained hands. My blood on her hands. Coming from the wound in my stomach. Lying opposite the Queen Vic, not being able to sort my self out, or get up. I couldn't. My mum was there. But she didn't know. She didn't know the truth.
'Danielle, please, hold on, the ambulance is coming, please hold on,' Ronnie was whispering to me, holding me. She wasn't crying, she was just being there. Just what I had always wanted.
'Ronnie,' I whispered, struggling to say anything at all.
'Shushh, you'll use up your energy, just hold on, please,' Ronnie said encouragingly. I opened my eyes and looked around. Roxy, Peggy and Stacey were standing there unsure of what to say or do. Stacey had tears in her eyes, and this went noticed by Ronnie.
'Here Stacey, you hold her hand, she'll appreciate it coming from you,' Ronnie said, thinking she was doing the right thing.
'No Ronnie, you're the right person, you do it.,' Stacey knelt down to me, and looking into my eyes, were locking, I know what she's going to say, yet I don't want her to say it, it's too important, I didn't want to tell her in this way. she carried on mumbling intending for only me to hear it, but I could tell that Peggy, Roxy and Ronnie were all listening in on Stacey's words, 'Dan listen to me you're my bestest friend I've ever had and I want you to do this for me. You're an amazing person don't you dare forget that. Look I'm begging you here, either make sure you live, which would be the best thing ever to happen, because then we can continue being together, having a laugh on the stall, messing around me and you against the world, or you tell her the truth right now. Because if you don't it'll mean I have to, and I hate telling people this kinda stuff. She needs to know, she's here for you now, even if she hasn't been before. Your leaning on her for goodness sake, the Ice Queen should know there's something different about you Please, we'll find out who did this to you, and were going to sort this together. But please, say it now, or you never will,' Stacey held onto my other hand, whilst Peggy, Roxy and Ronnie were all confused by this speech. I acknowledged Stacey, looked in turn at Roxy and Peggy and then finally landed my eyes on Ronnie, who I was currently resting my head on. And the blood was all over Ronnie's jeans, but she didn't seem to mind. She looked into my eyes, and I saw the one last bit of hope, she knew it was about her. But I doubt she would ever know why.
'Ronnie, I'm so sorry,' I stammered, speaking took up so much energy when your in such pain.
'Shushhh, we don't have to talk yet if you don't want, the ambulance should be here anytime, you just need to rest,' Ronnie said so motherly to me, I did wonder for a second whether she knew, but then realised that she didn't because she hadn't mentioned it at all. My mum, my real mum, was helping me.
'no, I need to say this, because I'll regret it if I don't, and Stacey shouldn't tell you, it isn't her place,' I turned my head at Stacey, to see her smiling, she knew I was going to say it, the words I had been meaning to say for the past 7 months. And she was happy for me, giving me the encouragement to carry on with my speech, and my voice getting stronger, 'I need to tell you why I came to Walford, yes, it was to find myself. But something much much much moreā¦' I stopped to think about what I was going to say next to my mum. With Ronnie, Roxy and Peggy looking absolutely confused at this point, I needed to get it across, 'I was adopted, I came looking for my mother, I was born 26th June 1989 and the adoption agency said that my real mums name was Veronica Mitchell, I came to find her, and I did,' I was out of breath, but when I saw Ronnie's face, I realised it was all worth it, the amount of energy it took for me to say it, seeing her eyes. It was all worth it.
Looking into Roxy's eyes, the realistion into why I was with Amy so much, why I always wanted to look after her where possible. Roxy's eyes were gleaming. All she wanted was for her sister to be happy, and Danielle could make that happiness. I noticed all that in her eyes, she was really readable, unlike her sister. Unlike her mum, maybe that's why I couldn't tell her for so long, and I had to be in this pain to be able to tell her. I wasn't able to read her, she was so complicated.
Then looking at Peggy, and her realising why I was so keen to work at the Vic. I could tell she knew about me before, because then she started to smile.
I felt a squeeze from Stacey's hand into mine, she smiled at me, and I knew I had done what I had intended to do 7 months ago.
I then squeezed Ronnie's hand, but I didn't get any reply. I was shocked, yet still in pain. Ronnie was still covering the wound. But she didn't know what to say, she couldn't look at me. I felt disgusted, wrong. She shouldn't be doing this to me. She should be smiling, telling me everythings ok, but its not, it never will be. Theres too much hate. I cant control her hate for me at all. Then looking at Ronnie's hand on my stomach, it gave me that inch of hope, with her other hand in mine. The hate finally was overruled.
'Ronnie, please, believe me,' I murmured, then I closed my eyes, I couldn't deal with it anymore, it was too much, and I had no energy left to do anything else apart from listen.
'Dad, he's been lying to me. This whole time,' Ronnie spoke slowly, clutching onto Danielle's hand, the only thing she knew that she wanted to do. Ronnie then let go of my hand, with her other hand still trying to keep as much blood in my body as possible, and grabbed my locket, braking the chain. Immediately putting her hand back into mine. I didn't care that she had broken it, she was there now, the locket wasn't needed. 'That's why you didn't correct the nurse at the clinic, oh baby, why didn't you tell me earlier. Oh we have so much to catch up on. I have to tell you everything. You're my world my dream, everything,' I just stared at her, tears flowing down my face, I looked at the blood, realising that if the ambulance didn't come in time I would be gone, but that didn't matter. I had my mum, my actual mum. And she cared.
'Danielle, please baby, hold on,' Ronnie sobbed, rocking me, trying to comfort me. But by now, I knew the time was going. My eyes were closing.
19 years ago, I was given away by my mum. I don't understand the reasons why, and I don't want to either, I grew up with my adoptive family who were amazing to say the least. Tonight, was going to be my last night, my last chance to speak to people, and the clock was ticking for me to go. I saw a door, and I knew I was going to have to go through it, without a choice.
'Mum?' I whispered, hoping she would hear me, my mummy. Ronnie Mitchell, my happiness for the fact she actually wanted me overtook the sadness that I was about to leave her, 'I've got to leave, go, thank you, for believing me,' I don't think she managed to get it, because it came out in mumbles, so I squeezed hers and Stacey's hand, and let go. The last noise I had heard was Ronnie's piercing scream. The last touch I felt was Ronnie's hand in mine. The last smell was Ronnie's perfume. The last word I spoke was to Ronnie. I was with Ronnie the best place I could ever be, even in immense pain.
Knowing I had told the truth, and my work was done in this world I could let myself go, and I went into the door, knowing I would never go out again.
Another different ending, inspired by a Fanfiction. I love spending my time re-reading them all, they make me smile. Please Review, would make my day. Thanks. Abbi x
