Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.
A/N: No more crack fics from now on, unless they're really, really good! I can't risk staining my already somewhat-stained reputation any longer!!!
Of course, crack pairings are still allowed.
And I deleted the 'Four Assassins' story, because it really DID suck.
The assassins were Mario, Trix Rabbit, Kool-Aid Man and Barney the Dinosaur, just so you know...Lelouch kills them all...
A/N: ...This is yaoi? Odysseus X Li Xingke, to be exact. I seem to try and do better when Li Xingke is a main character in the fic...
Out on one of the castle's many balconies...
The crescent moon shone brightly in the night sky, illuminating all with its presence. The air was clean and uncluttered, and there were no strong winds, allowing Li Xingke to breath easily as he sat in a meditative pose. He breathed in and out, his chest rising and receding with each breath. His eyes remained shut, and aside from his breathing, he could not hear, see or feel anything else. Beside him laid his sword, kept tightly in its scabbard.
His mind was completely empty; not a single thought came to him...
"Li Xingke...?"
...And then he reluctantly found himself returning to reality. 'Grr...it's HIM again...'
Slowly opening his eyes, Li Xingke whipped his head around to see Odysseus Eu Britannia standing in the doorway. The older man had a warm smile on his face as he stepped out onto the balcony. Li Xingke sighed heavily, and pushed himself back onto his feet.
"...Odysseus..." Li Xingke grunted, still keeping his back facing towards the new Emperor of China.
"...I had a feeling I'd find you here," Odysseus chuckled, taking a seat on the couch that was to be found on every balcony.
Li Xingke did not respond to that remark, and instead he asked, "Is Tianzi-sama asleep...?"
Odysseus nodded. "Yes...she just fell asleep a few minutes ago..."
"That's...good..." Li Xingke stared up at the moon; it was unnaturally bright tonight, he noticed.
Patting the cushion beside him, Odysseus suggested, "Why don't you take a seat, Li Xingke, and we can talk...just you and me..."
"Talk?" Li Xingke responded, in a bit harsher tone than he meant to, "There's nothing for us to talk about!"
"Of course there's something to talk about...there's ALWAYS something to talk about...besides, you have nothing better to do, I'm sure..." Odysseus sneered at that last comment. He seemed to be enjoying himself, subtly mocking Li Xingke like this.
Li Xingke sighed. With little choice left, he walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Odysseus, who had a wide smile stretching from ear to ear.
Turning his head away, Li Xingke watched a small bat flap its tiny wings overhead through the night sky as he asked in a grave tone, "Tell me, something, Odysseus...are you actually interested in Tianzi-sama?"
Odysseus let out a chuckle, and shook his head side to side, his shoulders still shaking from laughter. "Oh no, of course not! I am not that kind of person, I assure you, Li Xingke! She's cute, but definitely not my type!! I only married her out of request from my good brother Schneizel; he's done alot for me in the past, so I wished to repay him..."
"Are you serious?! You'll marry a 13-year-old girl just to repay your debt to your brother?!" Li Xingke asked incredulously.
"Well, it's not too different from you, now is it? You fully devoted yourself to Tianzi after she saved you from being executed for stealing some medicine several years ago..." Odysseus pointed out.
Li Xingke raised an eyebrow. "Huh? How do you-"
"Tianzi told me during the reception about how you two met," was Odysseus's speedy reply.
"Oh..." Li Xingke glanced down at his feet, unsure of what to say next. Odysseus continued to stare at him with wide eyes and a big grin, as if waiting to receive some sort of prize or something of that nature.
"You know," Odysseus stated after about five minutes had gone by, "Tianzi is quite fond of you..."
Li Xingke snickered a bit at that obvious statement. "Oh, really?!"
"Yes...she couldn't stop telling me about all the 'adventures' you two had together..."
Li Xingke frowned as he recalled all those sweet, warm memories of his time with Tianzi, and knowing how he will never create any more of those memories ever again. "Yeah...too bad I won't be around to see her grow up into a fine young woman..."
Odysseus cocked his head slightly to the side in confusion, but asked nothing of Li Xingke's cryptic statement.
Another awkward five minutes of silence passed before Odysseus spoke again.
"Li Xingke..." Odysseus gasped in slight amazement.
"...Yeah?"
Suddenly, Odysseus raised his right hand, and ran his fingers through a few strands of Li Xingke's hair. "How do you make your hair so silky and glossy like this? It's really quite amazing to behold..."
Li Xingke gasped, and jumped up to his feet, his face glowing brightly. "W-What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he snapped, "D-Don't touch my hair, you...you damn dirty ape!!!"
Odysseus held his hands over his face in his defense, as he exclaimed with a grin, "S-Sorry!! Sorry sorry!! It was just...your hair is so flawless, and...I couldn't help but notice..."
"Well, I'd appreciate if you HADN'T!!" Li Xingke snarled, unable to rid himself of the blush in his cheeks.
Odysseus stood up, and looked Li Xingke over several times. "Tell me something, Li Xingke...why do you wear your hair so long? Why do you wear such feminine clothing? Is there...something you're not telling me, Li Xingke?"
For a moment, Li Xingke didn't understand, but then...
"W-WAIT A MOMENT!! YOU...ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I'M...THAT I'M A HOMOSEXUAL?!!" Li Xingke screamed furiously at the top of his lungs, not caring who he awoke from slumber.
Odysseus shrugged. "I was just saying, Li Xingke. I apologize if I offended..."
Li Xingke couldn't take it anymore. 'This goddamn bastard, and his snotty attitude...I'll teach him to mock me!'
The Chinese man reached down, and was about to grasp the hilt of his sword, when Odysseus clenched onto his arm tightly. Li Xingke struggled to break free, but Odysseus had a surprisingly strong grip for a Britannian.
"L...LET ME GO, YOU-" Li Xingke snapped.
"Tut, tut, tut...no manners at all..." Odysseus shook his head in disappointment. He leaned in closer, and Li Xingke winced as he felt the other man's hot breath brush against his neck.
"Li Xingke...you're very beautiful, even for a man...how do you manage to look so deliciously attractive? I've wondered that for so long...so very long...and I just can't get you out of my head...you're just so DAMN beautiful..." Odysseus purred, and he wrapped a handful of Li Xingke's curls into his fingers, pressing it against his nose as he took in a deep wiff. A shiver crawled up Odysseus's spine, as if he was getting off on just simply smelling the man's hair.
"You...you...you're the homosexual...not me...am I right?" Li Xingke stammered through clenched teeth; if only he was able to reach his sword, he could fight back. Unfortunately, Odysseus's grip remained strong.
Odysseus chuckled, and pressed a finger over Li Xingke's lips, silencing him. "You shouldn't say such things, Li Xingke...that's not very becoming of a knight of your stature..."
"Argh...let...let go of me, you perverted freak!!!" Li Xingke demanded, snapping at Odysseus's finger in an attempt to bite it off.
Odysseus smirked, and he lowered his free hand further down...and clenched tightly onto Li Xingke's crotch.
Li Xingke cried out in shock. "AHH! YOU...YOU SICK PIECE OF-"
"SILENCE, LI XINGKE." Odysseus snapped, before smashing his mouth against the Chinese man's, who was caught even further off-guard by this sudden attack on his lips. Li Xingke struggled to break free, but Odysseus just held him close, and thrust his tongue down his throat. Odysseus dug his fingers deeper into Li Xingke's testicles, as if he was trying to pop them.
'Oh my god...how...how did things end up like this...how?!' Li Xingke wondered, arching his head back as Odysseus pushed both tongue and fingers further in.
"Mmm...you taste so good, Li Xingke..." Odysseus hissed, licking the saliva off of his lips before going back in for another long, lustful kiss. Li Xingke could feel his will power weakening with every passing second.
'I can't like this...I'm not supposed to like this...and yet...and yet...I find it so exhilarating...' Li Xingke thought. It was such a good feeling he felt...such a good feeling...
And then...
"...Odysseus? Li Xingke? Are you two out here?" called a small voice from behind the balcony door.
Li Xingke broke his lips away from Odysseus and gasped. 'IT'S...IT'S TIANZI-SAMA!!!'
Odysseus seemed to have realized this as well, as he immediately let go off Li Xingke and brushed himself off without a word.
The door creaked open, and little Tianzi poked her head out, her eyelids heavy with tire. "I...I thought I heard yelling from out here...is...is everything alright?"
Odysseus smiled sweetly at her, and clapped his hands together once as he replied, "Oh, everything's fine, my dear! Everything's fine!! You should be getting back to bed, though; you're still too young to be skipping out on much-needed rest!! I'll walk you back to your room, okay?"
Tianzi yawned, and gave Li Xingke a tiny grin as Odysseus took her by the hand and whisked her off down the dark hallway. Before they turned the corner and vanished from sight, Odysseus glanced back at Li Xingke one last time.
Li Xingke was speechless. 'I...I can't believe what just happened...'
Still standing rooted to the spot, Li Xingke raised his hand to his lips, horrified that he had actually somewhat ENJOYED that sexually-fueled experience.
'My god...I think...I think I might be a homosexual, too...'
Falling back onto the couch, Li Xingke buried his face into his hands.
His mind was no longer empty and devoid of distracting thought, but now full of termoil and complicated emotions...