A/N: This is the edited version of this chapter. Kudos to my lovely beta CoverGirlInLove. Enjoy, read and review.
As he laid there surrounded by nothing other than the sound of her steady breathing, he realized thinking became too hard somewhere along the way, so, he settled with just concentrating on inhaling himself.
It was a really strange feeling that filled him though; it seemed as if with the person who gave him life to begin with now gone, it was nearly impossible to keep up with the daily routines he had set up for himself over the years.
It felt wrong being alive, being able to think, to breathe. So, all he could really do, was concentrate on the breathing taking place next to him, as he absentmindedly locked their hands together and intervened his fingers with hers.
She looked so different while sleeping; it was almost surreal, the serenity written all over her face. He felt oddly upset because of the fact that he had never seen her look so peaceful when awake.
Everything that happened with her family after the war, had really taken its toll on her behavior, and now, that another war was fast approaching, he hoped that she could handle it.
He wanted to make sure that the 16-year-old girl asleep next to him would one day be lucky enough to achieve true happiness. He wanted to be the one by her side, helping her get to that point.
But, he knew better.
He couldn't, wouldn't, be that guy for her. Not that her family would let him near her anyway, if they knew about them. In order to ultimately save her, he would first have to save himself, and he wasn't sure if he had it in him to keep on fighting. The prejudice, the glares and the cold frond he had to pull up, was getting old very fast, and he had enough of it.
That's why he felt the need to get out of her dormitory fast, because if he didn't, only Merlin knows what the consequences would be. So, he mustered up the strength to get up and out of her bed, taking extra precaution on not to wake her.
As he struggled to free his hand from under her, he heard his name leave her lips as she slyly smiled to herself in her sleep. He froze on the spot for a mere moment before coming to his senses and realizing it was for the best. He couldn't keep doing this to her, to them, giving into temptations, letting their hopes raise, when he knew they could never be an item. She deserved better.
He got out of bed and walked straight out of the door not daring to look back, knowing that if he did, he might regret his decision and stay. He couldn't allow it, more regret than he already held himself accountable for was simply out of the question. It was for the best.
It was with that thought, that Scorpius Malfoy left Rose Weasley's dormitory, not caring what the future held for anyone. He erased all data of her existence as soon as he entered the Headmistress's office and requested to be sent home to spend some time with his family. And as he threw some dark green floo powder into the fireplace, he couldn't help but think: "It's for the best".
She knew he was gone even before she opened her eyes. She could feel him shuffle throughout the night as sleep refused to take his thoughts away, but as soon as she felt his hand finding hers and his breath on her neck as he moved his body closer to hers, she let herself doze off in his arms without a care in the world, like so many times before.
Bliss.
It was bliss. She should have known better. So, when she started to wake up and felt nothing but the cold sheets around her, she knew he was gone.
The warmth of his body was now a memory of something she thought could last forever.
As she slowly, almost lazily lifted her eyelids, she couldn't stop that stupid little voice from hoping that he was just taking a shower. But this time, she did know better. She knew him better than she knew herself. She knew that, he too, was an owner of another stupid little voice. The stupid little voice was almost certainly blaming her for keeping him from being beside his mother while she lay helplessly on her deathbed.
She knew he would blame her for having another one of her "episodes" – as she now called them. For forcing him chose between herself and his mother. For putting herself first.
When they got the call, she knew she had lost him for good. He would never let himself forgive her for making him stay and take care of her, he would never forgive her for depriving him of the chance to say goodbye. She knew that.
Still, despite her knowledge, when he just let her hold him and cuddled with her, letting silent sobs run trough his body, she thought, hoped, that he would let her be there. Silly girl.
As she ran her hands through his blond, almost-white hair, and moved as close to him as she could, so close that she could hear his heart rapidly beating. She could almost feel it breaking, as she kissed his tears away gently, assuring him that it would be okay, knowing that's exactly what he needed As he locked their hands together without saying a word, she let herself foolishly hope that he needed her enough to forgive her. Silly, silly girl.
And now, he was gone. She was alone as was he. He was never the alone one, that title had always belonged to her. No matter what his father or grandfather would do or say, he always had his mother to fall back on. He needed her. And she was gone.
She had to find him before he gave up on them. She had to make him see sense. She looked fanatically around the room, scanning it for any possible clues of his whereabouts. However, there was nothing, not even a note.
She felt the familiar feeling settle deep inside her stomach. This time it was she who let sobs violently shake her body. She felt the strange, but now welcoming feeling of bile rising up in her throat. She quickly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet bowl and purging all her feelings away, gaining control once again had never felt better. This time, Scorpius wasn't there to stop her.
She got on her feet and started brushing her teeth not bothering to wipe away the tears freely falling down her cheeks. He did what he does best, he walked away. And it was all her fault. Who knows…? Maybe it was for the best.