Bentley's depression

For years Sly, Bentley and Murray were preparing for their future ahead; living the lives of criminals seemed fascinating, inspiring, just endless fun without end, he never saw it coming ..

Day in and day out Bentley would enhance his skills, working his heart out to improve himself anyway, he would read between the lines of his training, he trained alot more than Sly and Murray.
He could of only dream of his future ahead, he was only 16 at the time, the gang had been through alot of bad times, like occasional seperataions and fallouts etc. but nothing that could prepare him for what was about to happen. Everytime the gang pulled off something seemingly impossible and undefeatable it was great, they were the happiest moments of Bentley's life and just to think soon he would have his most earthly pleasures ripped from his soul, from the last person he would ever expect.

It was just another morning in the Orphanage for him. He would wake up everyday and pick up his glasses off the old unit next to him, everyday he would think 'one day I'm going to leave this place, with my best friends, my brothers', it was one of the few things that kept him going in life, never knowing his parents was a depressing thought, but Sly and Murray could always take that pain away. Nothing in the outside world mattered to him, everytime he was taught something in class he wouldn't care, when he was given a great oppurtunity to get somewhere in the normal world he would always refuse it, he had put his life into his future with his best friends, thats why it was the one weakness that he never some coming.

He was completly blind the day, the unthinkable happened to him. It had been another great day with his friends Sly and Murray, another good laugh. He was seeing them out the door of his small room. He was quite upset as Murray was busy studying for the next few days, it saddened Bentley deeply, he loved spending time with his friends, he could spend hours with them and still would feel lonely ten seconds after their gone. As usual he would see them leave down the hallway and then return to his bed to relax, dream and think to himself, however this time something stuck to his wall above his bed caught his eye. It was attached to the wall by blue-tac, Bentley ofcourse yanked it off to see what it was.

It read:

Bentley..

I'm quiting the gang

Its a waste of time

Sly :]

He didn't really take it into account, over the last few years the gang had fallen out occasionally and usually got back together, it would sometimes be months before they spoke but always gave into their demons and became friends, partners in crime once again. The day followed up as quite boring without his friends, Bentley hadn't really taken much thought into his upcoming exams either, he couldn't care less they were nothing in comparison to his dream of living his life with his two 'brothers', the eternal delight of never parting and the infinite fun that would happen all the time. He had led the life of crime for so long, he would never understand what was right and what was wrong, he just wanted to reach his dream. He could feel it, he could taste it.

After the boring day, Bentley was in a neutral mood, he was on online chat using the laptop set up in his room, he was speaking to Murray, Sly wasn't online.

He had his full interest on the conversation:

Bentley : 'Hey Murray'

Murray : 'Hey'

Bentley : 'What are you and Sly doing tomorrow? I'm gonna be pretty bored!'

[Murray has signed out]

The fact Murray just signed out didn't bother Bentley, he knew Murray had a bad conncection in his room, he just waited patiently for his friend to return back online.

As expected Murray signed back in, the conversation continued, Bentley began to C+P the last message he put incase Murray didn't recieve it:

Bentley : 'What are you and Sly, doing tomorrow? I'm gonna be pretty bored!'

Murray : 'Well I'm studying like I told you, so I won't be around and Slys quit the gang, didn't you get the message? :( :( :('

A rush of confusion and nausea hit Bentley like a brick. He hadn't of taken the note seriously! he was blind to it, of all days, he continued the conversation to find out what was going on:

Bentley : 'What :(, yeah I saw it :( I didn't really think he was being serious :/'

Murray : 'Yeah he is :/ he thinks its a waste of time :('

Bentley : 'So he decides to do this when we've chosen out options in life, our choices, he does this at the time where theres much chance to turn back and our future would be nothing without it? wow.. thankyou, thanks alot Sly..'

Bentley, couldn't stand it, he quickly headed over his cabinet, he had vodka when he was down, to get his thoughts out of his head, he couldn't think straight, he poured a small drink of orange juice then filled the remainder of the cup up with vodka, he could hear the message alert sound in the background as he began to down it as fast as he could. He would constantly burp and gargle the liquid as it passed down his throat. It hit his stomach fast, he held it in pain. 'That should be enough for now' he thought to himself and went back over to the laptop screen, to continue the conversation.

He read the message on the screen, his eyes hurt:

Murray : 'Hey Bentley, you ok?'

Murray : 'Hey Bentley, you there?'

Bentley : 'Yeah...'

Murray : 'How you feeling?'

Bentley : 'Sad, Upset, Depressed, Hurting.'

Murray : 'Hey come on now, you've got your whole life ahead of you, your smart, we can just live our lives like the rest of the people on this planet.'

Bentley : 'I'd rather die!'

Bentley : 'I can't think straight, brb'.

A few minutes passed. Murray's room was pretty much on the opposite sides to Bentley. Slowly the fear of that Bentley might had done something to himself, came to him. In fear Murray quickly typed into the chat:

Murray : 'Hey Bentley, please don't do anything stupid'

Bentley was downing more vodka, to let the pain slip away, but it wasn't working the thoughts were to strong, they were eating away at him. His whole body was numb but in utter pain. He went back to the laptop screen, to quickly reply to Murray but Murray had once again lost connection. Murray was aggrivated by this, but he had no way of actually getting to Bentley. His room was locked since like all the other rooms, so there could be no vandles in the night, or late night activity. It was okay though for the orphans though, they had all their needs for the night, a common food supply in mini fridges, a toilet, heating, it was all very luxurious for them but at this moment in time, Murray needed to be next to Bentley, but it was the one thing out his reach, he just had to hope for the best and wait for the morning to come.

Bentley was lying on his bed, reading the note over and over to himself. He would occasionally read the note out loud to himself, laughing in sadness.

'Bentley, I'm quiting the gang, its a waste of time, Sly' he laughed to himself as he believed only insanity could help him. He let his thoughts torture him, kill him slowly as the pain grew. The vodka hadn't worked and his life was now pointless, in his eyes. His main goal in life had died along with Bentley's soul. He would occasionally laugh to himself, he could feel tears building on his pillow, as he suffered in silence. No one was there for him, he was alone in the darkness, unable to move he was so depressed, he was alone and locked in. 'Its a waste of time' he laughed to himself, 'I'm a waste of time' laughing away in pain. He didn't know what else to do, he was weak, defenceless, he could only let insanity take him while his mind was a vulnerable battlefield. As he attempted to control, his depressing the thoughts the constant thought of Sly was hitting him. 'I bet hes laughing to himself right now', 'He has no mercy on me, I deserve it I'm a fool'.

The vision of his dream, died in his eyes. The pain was unbearable, has this been inevitable to him? was it all destined to be? He could see himself with his friends in his eyes, doing all sorts like he had wanted in his future, but it was no longer alive. The last time Bentley had seen one of his friends say "I'm leaving the gang" was when they were much younger. He was left to himself now, they were much older.. the thought of one of them turning their backs on each other.. then everything would fall apart, his future, his life, everything.

He stopped crying, he looked in front of him, his kitchen appliances were lined up neatly on the counter, his spoon, his fork, his knife. He laughed to himself 'Stabbity, Mc Stab Stab' he got up and shakily approached the knife, he looked around in paranoria and swiped the knife off the counter and into his hand. He began to play with the knife and hold it against his chest and push the knife to scare himself. He knew it was all coming to an end. He could see his friends in his eyes, tears drowned them out. He knew once he was gone, he would never be remembered, the outside world had no idea who he was. He would soon be forgotten a pointless memory in peoples minds soon to be gone.

He stared around his dark room only lit by the moon, tears filling his eyes as he saw the pictures of him and his friends. The memorys faded in his head, or at least the fun ones. He closed his eyes and held the knife at his chest ready to finally end his life. His hand steadied as he kept his eyes closed, the visions of happiness were gone, the blackness was all around him. He embedded the knife into his weak chest, blood poured out, he looked down slowly to see he had put the knife into him, he let out a final scream and fell to the floor, the visions of his friends faded as well did his concious on the earth. His head rested to left, looking at his bed, his last vision was the note Sly had left him.

The next morning...

Sly and Murray didn't go to Bentley's room early, Murray had tried to stay up allnight, but he had given up fighting and befor he knew it, it was half past one in the afternoon and someone was knocking on his door heavily. Sly had, had a good sleep, he was wondering what he would do with his life now he had left his friend's dream behind him. But what hit them both was never to leave them again...

Sly couldn't help but blame himself, he thought Bentley would find a path but he knew Bentley loved his dream, it gave him so much to live for and that strength was its greatest weakness. Murray was sad and angered he was awake at the time it was happening, 'I should of broke my door down', 'I should of forgotten everything else and just got to him and helped him.'

It was just all too late, the thought of something else happening was unthinkable, it was forseeable that if they had just stayed together then it would of happen but it didn't matter anymore, Murray and Sly could never make the dream happen, not without Bentley, they would have to live with this for the rest of their lives.