Revelations
By Forbidden Donut
In one of his last acts as Camp Hammond's peer counsellor, Justice visits Trauma in the base hospital to talk about the recruit's recent run in with the Hulk and finds himself in over his head when he finds himself on the receiving end of Trauma's powers.
Warning: Mention of attempted suicide and abuse.
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from the use of these characters.
Originally written as four drabbles, rewritten as a longer form story but it still feels a little lightweight. Unbeta-d. Feedback welcomed.
Trauma tried looking as tired and pathetic as he could but the counsellor didn't take the hint and leave, instead looking around for somewhere to sit. "I don't know what you mean."
"You came away alive from a fight with the Hulk. That kind of beating can leave scars and I'm not talking about physical ones. I've seen the footage the Scarlet Spider's took of the battle." Justice pulled over a chair and sat down beside the bed. "Your powers failed you. You were just a regular guy standing in the way of one of the most powerful super-humans on the planet. He left you looking like road kill."
"Don't remind me." The moment was still vivid in his head. "I'll make you a deal, Justice. Quid pro quo. Dani said I should practice whenever I can. Let me practice on you and you can counsel me on being Hulk's punching bag." He looked over at Justice, sensing he'd taken back control. "I do know what you fear."
"I'm sure you do."
Feeling the deep held fear of the other man slide and snake under his skin preparing to shapeshift, he concentrated his will and the moment passed leaving him exhausted.
"Get some sleep," said Justice, as he stood up. "I'll think about the deal."
He didn't return that day but the day after saw him back at the end of Trauma's hospital bed.
"Are you feeling up to a visitor?"
"You came back." Trauma was surprised to see the counsellor return. "I thought I'd scared you off." He smirked. "It's my thing. Frightening people."
"I'm just wary of your powers, seeing them in action first hand is going to be unsettling." Justice pulled the chair back over to sit next to the wounded youth's bed again. "I noticed you've been spending time with Abby."
"She's changed, not for the good." Trauma shrugged. "I wanted to try and help."
The counsellor nodded. "Fair enough but go slow with her. She's been through just as much as you have in some ways."
Trauma swallowed nervously. "So I should go first since it was my idea. Dani said I should go first."
It was strange, to offer to share with someone he didn't exactly trust. It had been the same with Dani when they had begun his training.
"You talked to Dani about this?" asked Justice, curious.
Trauma nodded. "She taught me a lot, I value her opinion. I'm still learning as I go but my control is a lot better than that day on the training ground when you had to pull me away from Yellowjacket."
The counsellor was quiet for a moment. "We all have moments when our control isn't at it's finest."
Trauma grimaced. "Yeah, with the Hulk, I got cocky. Dani tried to warn me but I was built up by the brass to think I could take him down. I never thought that I was in over my head from the start. Everyone is afraid of something right? Just... not the Hulk. Getting tossed down a street and off a half dozen cars by a not so jolly green giant was a pretty bad way of finding out you're fallible, Justice."
"Not to mention breakable and call me Vance. Tell you a secret though, Terry. You went a few more rounds than some seasoned heroes out there and even if you weren't the guy to take down the Hulk in the end, you gave the other recruits time to get to safety. Almost at the cost of your life."
Terry looked down, embarrassed. "Still feels like I failed big time though."
"Well, I'm sure Gyrich will remind you a half dozen more times of that, at least." Vance chuckled. "And it'll be small comfort but everyone feels like they've failed at some time. It's not the end of the world. Sure you were overconfident but so what, remember who you were facing. Confidence is important, Terry, or we wouldn't believe we could do half the things we do. Don't let this one eat you up. You went toe to toe with the Hulk, and you're still alive to tell the tale."
"I guess..." Terry didn't sound convinced. "The whole thing has made me realise I don't have a natural inclination towards fieldwork."
Vance snorted with amusement. The comfortable silence between them stretched out for a few minutes before he murmured, "You want my half of the deal now, don't you?"
Terry Ward permitted himself a small tremor of nerves at the look on Vance's face, a mixture of terror and curiosity. "Yes, Vance, but you need closure on something else first..." His voice deepened as the colour was sucked out of the room and his connection to the counsellor deepened as he synched them telepathically. Everything Vance felt, he would feel along with him. "Son..."
"Not fair." Vance shut his eyes tightly and began wishing he'd never agreed to do this. 'Bad idea, bad idea.' His heart was pounding fit to burst out of his chest, as he repeated it over and over in his head.
"Son, open your eyes."
He shook his head.
"Look at me."
Vance opened his eyes. His father sat in the hospital bed looking back at him. On some level he knew it wasn't really Arnold Astrovik, that it was Trauma, but knowing those things didn't make it any easier to look his father in the eye.
"Terry, I don't know if..."
"You just have to give yourself over to it, Vance, and trust me." Hearing Trauma speak with his father's gruff voice was disturbing. "Trust me," he repeated in a softer tone, one Vance hadn't heard since he was a child, before his father had let the anger take him.
He nodded and met the shapechanger's, no - his father's eyes.
"That's better. We need to come to an understanding, son, about what happened."
Not trusting his voice, Vance nodded again.
"In my perfect world, you would not exist. If I'd had half your strength, I would have denied my own father's demands and followed my heart."
It was something Vance had thought about since taking the trip back in time. Understanding some of the reasons for his fathers anger and the cycle of abuse passed down from his grandfather to his father.
A cycle of abuse that would end with him.
"In your perfect world, I would have been able to accept that you chose your own path in life, that trying to beat my will into you was never going to work." His father turned his face down, in shame. "I know now that you could never deny your nature or the higher calling you felt, to be a hero, to help others, t-to use what made you wrong in my eyes for good. If I had been a better father, I would have been able to tell you how proud I was that you never gave in to my fists or my cruel words. I would have encouraged you and told you how much I loved you."
"Dad..."
"No, there's more. That day... The things I said to you, drove you to - I'm ashamed..."
Vance shook his head violently. "Don't go there, Terry. Please!" He stood, pushing the chair away.
"Ashamed that I drove you to try and take your own life."
The memories of that day came flooding back and Terry lived them with Vance, after he had fled from the house and his mother's accusing eyes. Out of his mind with grief and despair. Kneeling alone in a field, hands grasping the dirt as if he wanted to be gone, buried deep and forgotten already. Screaming and sobbing, not only for his dead father but everything he'd lost along with him. Wrapping mental fingers around his throat, his heart, to make the pain go away, until he blacked out... Coming around minutes later, knowing that he'd been given a second chance to do the right thing.
"Son... Vance."
So often the target of his father's fists, he reacted badly when he was pulled into an unexpected embrace. "No..."
Like a child being comforted, he slowly relaxed as words of love and reassurance were whispered in his ear by his father for what felt like the first time.
"Forgive me... I-I killed you," he whispered.
His father shushed him. "Forgive me then, for all the years that came before. Do you still think we owe each other anything?"
"I love you, Dad." He was exhausted, emotionally and physically.
"I love you too, Son."
The colour began to return to the room as Terry released him and returned to his true form. "Are you alright? Vance?"
"I'll be fine, I've just... had enough... for today, Terry, that's all," said Vance. "It's weird. I had counselling after the court case, when I was in the Vault. My other family arranged it, one of them had pretty deep pockets at the time, but all the counselling in the world doesn't put its dead arms around you and tell you it loves you... I-I'll never know if he had any genuine affection for me but..." He trailed off mid sentence. "But thanks, Terry, for giving me a little peace."