Play With Fire

by Enigmas

Following the tension created by the Lighthouse operation Russia initiates peace talks aimed at reducing the nuclear weapons owned by the world's major powers. One member of the team must determine where their loyalties lie and how far they are willing to go in the name of Queen and Country when someone from their past surfaces claiming to have knowledge of an assassination attempt

1. Perspective

A/N: Part 2 in series beginning with 'Lighthouse'

Chapter 1

Perspective

We can never know what another human being is thinking. We can make educated guesses based on body language what and how they say things but we can never know.

This is one of the greatest attractions between members of the human race. It draws us to others, mystery and intrigue, the desire for knowledge. Knowledge about one, completely unique individual. We want to know that person.

Intimacy is not just about physical, or even emotional closeness. It is about psychological closeness. We want to be inside that person's head, more than we want to be inside their bed. We want them to give us 'access all areas' passes to their minds to allow us to explore every inch of them. We want them to want to tell us everything. We in turn, want to be able to judge them fully and completely, not based on what they willingly reveal to everyone else based on their deepest darkest fears and flaws, all of the things that they are less sure of the insecurities that plague them every day but that they feel they cannot share with anyone else, these we must peel away as we grow closer to reveal the truth below and so, to reveal them.

The eyes are known as the windows to the soul and while this may seem very romantic and poetic and while it may even be true, it is still not particularly helpful.

Our soul or our spirit is just that, it is our essence, a canvas on which we add colour but it is not the colour itself, it is not us, it is not who we are.

Who we are is never fixed, ever changing, altered and defined by our experiences and what we choose to do with them. Who we are is what we know, why we hate and love, what we will fight for and what we will die for how and who we respond to every day. The things that we will only ever experience once whether we wish them to repeat everday or we wouldn't wish them on our worst enemy. All of these things, and more, make up who we are, that is what makes us unique for no-one can ever have the same experiences as us, and even if they did, they would never react to them in the same way.

This depth and ever-changing complexity cannot be contained within something that is so easily accessible, surely.

If the eyes are the windows to the soul then the soul cannot be who we are. You could never board a train, look at the man sitting opposite you, look into his eyes, into his very sold and then claim to know who he was.

If we could we would all live in a much safer world. We would know when our partner was going to beat on us without ever even going to dinner with them. We would know when we were being lied to, we would never be hurt or manipulated again. We would be able to tell when the man seated at the table, eating and drinking with us, intends to slit our throats to prevent the evolution of something he does not believe in...

What a dull world we would live in. Of course, none of the things that we consider to be evil would be allowed to happen, no-one would rape or murder, and no-one would go to war...But would that then be a world that we wanted to live in? There would be no nothing. The only reason we can have peace is because we know we are not at war. The only reason we do not constantly live in agony is because we know what agony feels like in the first place. We can only be happy if we are not sad, we can only love if we know how to hate, can only live if we know we must die...As human beings, whom, by their very nature, crave knowledge and intrigue, we would be deadened by the fact that nothing interesting would ever happen. If everyone knew everyone else, then we would all do our best to forget, for then, and only then, we would be in a world where we wanted to live...

The exception to this rule is, of course, when some idiotic bastard decides to place himself in the middle of some vital world-saving summit, then I would very much like to be able to look into his eyes and feeling instantaneously justified in putting a bullet between them.

A/N: I wasn't quite sure how to start this without giving everything away in the opening few paragraphs so I settled for this instead...I'm not quite sure why...Anyway, I promise that this will develop into a proper episode and that this waffle will tie into the plotline. In the meantime, think of it as a voiceover and tell me what you all thought :)