Title: We Are Out
Rating: M/R
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Language, post s5
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Summary: It's 5 a.m. and they are out.
A/N: My first B/J, enjoy! Published also in lj.
We Are Out
"What the fuck do you mean we don't have any condoms?"
"We don't have any condoms. Used the last one yesterday, I think."
"What the fuck! There must be some in the sh--,"
"Used those last Monday."
"The cou--."
"The day before Michael's birthday."
"Kitc--."
"This morning."
"My jeans!"
"Babylon."
"Fuck! Well, what the hell are you still doing here?"
"Uhm..."
"Go. Buy. Us. Some. Condoms!"
"It's five in the morning, Brian."
"And?
"I'm naked."
"And?"
"No place is open."
"I don't care. Pull your pants up and go find some!"
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Listen here sunshine, I haven't been this hard since I was 16, so take your clothes, get out and find a condom!"
"No, you can make one night without fucking. Come here, I'll suck you off."
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Fine, good night."
...
...
...
"Stop bluffing!"
"I'm not. I'm trying to sleep."
"Well stop it! My dick needs your ass, make it happen!"
"Accio condom."
....
"Oh, better luck next time, night!"
...
"Last chance sunshine. Go get me a condom or I'm not fucking you for a month!"
"Whatever you say dear, hmm sleepy."
"Fine! Have it your way but don't come crying to me when you aren't getting any of this while all the other boys of Babylon are."
"For a month?"
"Yes."
"As if."
"You think I can't go a month without fucking you?"
"Can't make it even for a day."
"So sure of yourself sunshine?"
"Mm-mmh."
"Well, we'll just see when you don't--Where are you going? I'm not finished!"
"Out."
"Why?"
"It's 06:07 a.m., something must be open by now."
...
"I'll be back in a minute."
...
"I love you."
"I love you too, Brian."