The Mindless Slaughter filled adventures of Jim Ribbon and Squirrel
Twas an odd day when Jim the Eevee woke up. He woke up to the sound of a small boy getting hit by a Semi-truck he said to him self "Whoop.... little bobby fell asleep in the road again....oh well" as he went outside to hose off the road he looked to his right and saw an old lady in the next house over staring at him like a cow stares at an oncoming train. He said "Hi miss Johnson!" She just sat there and said in a traumatized voice said "THEY FOGOT MAH GARBAGE! WHY MY GARBAGE?! WHY MUST YOUR PRECIOUS WASTE SIT ON MY LAWN FOR ANOTHER WEEK?! WHY GOD, WHY!?" then Jim looked at her and said "TIS GODS WILL MY UGLY, OLD, FAT, CHILD" "Oh....ummm, IM GONNA GET ME A MOOSE!" "Madam I must confer I am a Eevee-" "PIGGIES DIE IN HELL..... BAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAARD!" said the old lady. Then without warning, she snatched Jim Ribbon and a Squirrel and stuffed then in a cardboard box and hurled them at the mail man. Inside the air depleted box, Jim, realizing his fate, decided to make friends with the Squirrel. "So...your a Squirrel?" Jim asked the Squirrel. "Chitter chitter....chip!" said the Squirrel. "You can't speak the English, can you, Squirrel?" Squirrel lowered his head and sadly said, "Chtter" Jim said, "Why God? Why have you passed me this fate of-" suddenly the box was torn open. Jim and Squirrel's eyes were met by a pudgy blond haired boy's.
The boy squealed with delight, put down his bucket of Crisco and said, "Mommy, I und found two puppies! I keep them, ja?" The mother replied, "Ja, but don't over feed them, you fat tub of lard of a child!" the boy simply replied, "Mother, und you implying that un is fat?" "Ja" replied his mother sadly. "Welp, und is gunna go scroob mine puppies, ja?" and so, Fat Boy, which sadly was his name, set off to "scroob" his puppies, which were actually our heroes: An Eevee and a Squirrel who was swimming with dieses. "Hello und puppies you vill be Humphrey und you will be zee Marcus ja?....no no no ummm you vill be the umm..." the fat German boy was going to have a heart attack before he decided on a name, but the squirrel was obviously enjoying the fat little boys antics. While this was going on the Fat German boy was "scrooping" the "puppies" down to the soft warm interior of their skulls.
"we have to get out of here!" Jim whispered to squirrel "chitter...chi, Chem Ci chitter eek chip" replied Squirrel "MY GOD MAN, THAT'S IT!" answered Jim.
Jim, reaching into his pocket took out a bar of chocolate and gave it to squirrel. Squirrel using his cest-pool of a mouth covered the chocolate bar with diseases and hurled it out the window and into a large bucket of molasses just like in the movie with the spotted...ummm...cats. All of a sudden to little boy stood up and said "ACH LUBEN THEY UND WASTIN MINE CHOCOLATE!" The fat little German boy went after that chocolate like a Chinese man goes after ally cats. That poor boy missed that molasses bucket and landed in a gigantic vat of fat where he was slowly assimilated since 75% of him was fat and the other 25% was chocolate, while this was happening the little boy was screaming "AAAAAAAAAAHHH! IS NOT GOOT FAT JA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Our heroes climbed back into the box and flung them-selves into a passing Amish-mans carriage. The Amish man ran his carriage into a ditch in a mad drunken Amish-man rage and our heroes were flung onto a passing fed-x plane.
Our Heroes awoke to the sound of a little girl screaming with the deadly ambition of deadly prospects "GOO GAW MA IZA FOUND ME A DOOG" Then Jim evolved into a Pikachu and set the world ablaze with his hate. The Squirrel then washed off his nuts and went back home safe with his family.
END!
Twas an odd day when Jim the Eevee woke up. He woke up to the sound of a small boy getting hit by a Semi-truck he said to him self "Whoop.... little bobby fell asleep in the road again....oh well" as he went outside to hose off the road he looked to his right and saw an old lady in the next house over staring at him like a cow stares at an oncoming train. He said "Hi miss Johnson!" She just sat there and said in a traumatized voice said "THEY FOGOT MAH GARBAGE! WHY MY GARBAGE?! WHY MUST YOUR PRECIOUS WASTE SIT ON MY LAWN FOR ANOTHER WEEK?! WHY GOD, WHY!?" then Jim looked at her and said "TIS GODS WILL MY UGLY, OLD, FAT, CHILD" "Oh....ummm, IM GONNA GET ME A MOOSE!" "Madam I must confer I am a Eevee-" "PIGGIES DIE IN HELL..... BAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAARD!" said the old lady. Then without warning, she snatched Jim Ribbon and a Squirrel and stuffed then in a cardboard box and hurled them at the mail man. Inside the air depleted box, Jim, realizing his fate, decided to make friends with the Squirrel. "So...your a Squirrel?" Jim asked the Squirrel. "Chitter chitter....chip!" said the Squirrel. "You can't speak the English, can you, Squirrel?" Squirrel lowered his head and sadly said, "Chtter" Jim said, "Why God? Why have you passed me this fate of-" suddenly the box was torn open. Jim and Squirrel's eyes were met by a pudgy blond haired boy's.
The boy squealed with delight, put down his bucket of Crisco and said, "Mommy, I und found two puppies! I keep them, ja?" The mother replied, "Ja, but don't over feed them, you fat tub of lard of a child!" the boy simply replied, "Mother, und you implying that un is fat?" "Ja" replied his mother sadly. "Welp, und is gunna go scroob mine puppies, ja?" and so, Fat Boy, which sadly was his name, set off to "scroob" his puppies, which were actually our heroes: An Eevee and a Squirrel who was swimming with dieses. "Hello und puppies you vill be Humphrey und you will be zee Marcus ja?....no no no ummm you vill be the umm..." the fat German boy was going to have a heart attack before he decided on a name, but the squirrel was obviously enjoying the fat little boys antics. While this was going on the Fat German boy was "scrooping" the "puppies" down to the soft warm interior of their skulls.
"we have to get out of here!" Jim whispered to squirrel "chitter...chi, Chem Ci chitter eek chip" replied Squirrel "MY GOD MAN, THAT'S IT!" answered Jim.
Jim, reaching into his pocket took out a bar of chocolate and gave it to squirrel. Squirrel using his cest-pool of a mouth covered the chocolate bar with diseases and hurled it out the window and into a large bucket of molasses just like in the movie with the spotted...ummm...cats. All of a sudden to little boy stood up and said "ACH LUBEN THEY UND WASTIN MINE CHOCOLATE!" The fat little German boy went after that chocolate like a Chinese man goes after ally cats. That poor boy missed that molasses bucket and landed in a gigantic vat of fat where he was slowly assimilated since 75% of him was fat and the other 25% was chocolate, while this was happening the little boy was screaming "AAAAAAAAAAHHH! IS NOT GOOT FAT JA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Our heroes climbed back into the box and flung them-selves into a passing Amish-mans carriage. The Amish man ran his carriage into a ditch in a mad drunken Amish-man rage and our heroes were flung onto a passing fed-x plane.
Our Heroes awoke to the sound of a little girl screaming with the deadly ambition of deadly prospects "GOO GAW MA IZA FOUND ME A DOOG" Then Jim evolved into a Pikachu and set the world ablaze with his hate. The Squirrel then washed off his nuts and went back home safe with his family.
END!