Title: Old Friends
Author: Stigmatized
Summary: "No one has done something they didn't regret, wouldn't give their lives to change. My mistake was letting you go." Mild hints of Kai/Rei and Tala/Kai. Strange POV for me.
A/N: Hi there, and thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my humble ickle fic. This, overall, is a Kai/Rei fic (what else do you expect from me?) but it has hints of Kai/Tala. Tala POV, very short (under a page on Word), but please R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or any of the characters of the show. They all belong to TV Tokyo, which I do not own either. I am merely a crazed fangirl who likes to borrow other people's property for a little fun before returning it, only slightly damaged.
~*~
No one has done something they didn't regret, wouldn't give their lives to change. They know it was a mistake, and they scorn themselves every day and night for it, whether it is not taking an opportunity when it came up or saying something to someone.
My mistake was letting you go. There's not been a minute I have not wished for you to come back, to take me back the way we were before. Those nights you stayed up so late, planning an escape for yourself, but of course not for me. Never for me. Sometimes I wonder if I had ever meant anything to you, other than a means to relieve the frustration of living in such cramped, disciplined quarters.
I've seen you since then, since you left me, leaving my thin bed cold and empty. You seem so happy, those beautiful marks on your face no longer cold paint as a barrier, but more of an adornment even though they stay in the same place and remain the same shade. I envy him, I know you can see it in my eyes. You know ice and fire have never been a good mix, but his orbs compliment yours perfectly, mixing to the exact colour of twilight. And I sometimes see that rare shade of gold reflected in your eyes even when he is not around.
I was your first, yes, and you mine. But that doesn't seem to matter now, and it almost tears me apart to see the brotherhood in your eyes when you look at me, and that respect suddenly turn to blatant love and lust as you turn to him. I want to punch you, to grab your shoulders and shake you and ask you why you don't seem to remember me as I remember you. He hates me. I can see it when he glances at me, such horrible distaste and malice in his eyes, but what kills me is that I am the only one that he looks to like that. And he is the one that has managed to get close enough to you to make you show that love. I'm sure I imagine it though, almost as if I want him to look at me in that way in the hopes that you will notice and push him away. I'm nothing but an old friend to you now, almost as if I had never been your lover. You don't want to admit that to him, though, do you? Does he still think he was your first, Kai? Does he think he was the first one to give you pleasure, to help you to heal? I think he does, and I just want to yell it at him, but that would make you hate me. I couldn't stand it to have you hate me.
I knew that day would come, the day you would leave the abbey and leave me to rot in that measly cell all alone. But you've always gone for the tall, dark ones. I could never look like him, no matter how hard I try. The midnight shade of his hair reflects so immaculately the shade of your soul, and red has never been your favourite colour, anyway. It reminds you too much of the blood you lost so often when in the custody of your Grandfather doesn't it? That means I remind you of your own blood, of your own pain and suffering. I want to kill Voltaire for that, for making you feel that way towards me.
I know you never really loved me, I knew my emotions were in vain. You thought of me merely as an ally, and I endangered myself for you. If any of the workers had ever found out about us, we would have been killed. You feel the same way about Rei and the guards, that if he ever finds out what went on between us he would leave you.
I hate to stand up for him, but he would never do that to you, Kai. I see the devotion in his eyes whenever you are even mentioned in passing. He would never leave you purely on the basis of an old relationship, if that is what we had. He realises that the past is done and gone and there is nothing anybody can do about it. I'm jealous, and it pains me to admit that. I'm jealous of him, the way he can make you act as if you had never had a care in the world but still be you.
Never let him go Kai. Never let him go. You two have something special, but if one of you ever does something stupid, you know where to turn, old friend.
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A strange little piece from me, but I really did enjoy writing it (even if I was slightly lightheaded from a bit too much cider). Please review, any feedback is good feedback as far as I'm concerned! Thankies for taking the time to get this far, and it doesn't take much longer to type out a little review, either!
Stigma