It had been an unusually long night for all
of them. After the police came and Buffy's body had been taken away,
Anya, Tara, and Dawn had been taken to the hospital to be treated for their
wounds, and Giles had spent nearly an hour talking with the police.
They were all exhausted, mentally and physically, and ready to go home.
Tara had checked out fine, no residual effects from her horrifying brain
drain, their one small consolation during their ordeal, Dawn's cuts had
been treated and cleaned, but Anya would have to stay overnight for observation
for the concussion she had received. Xander decided he would stay
with her, while Giles took Tara and Willow home, then dropped off Dawn
at her house. Spike had offered to stay with the teen for the night,
and Giles agreed. The Watcher said he still had some things to attend
to, but Spike also guessed he just wanted some time to himself to deal
with Buffy's loss. Spike couldn't blame him.
Spike made sure Dawn got ready and was in
bed a short time later. He then went down into the Summers' living
room, took off his coat, and sat down on their couch to take some time
to wallow in his own misery. He looked around, found a family photo
album that had been kept in an end table, and began to glance through the
pages containing years of photos and memories of the Summers family.
He found pictures of Buffy, Dawn, their late mother Joyce, even a few of
the girls' father, Hank, some of which had been taken some years before.
It was surreal to see some of her younger photos, especially the one their
parent's took of Buffy holding Dawn, almost certainly the day the youngest
Summers came home from the hospital. Spike knew it wasn't real, couldn't
be real, but the bright look in Buffy's eyes was too much for him.
Even if the monk's had made it all up, the look on Buffy's face was the
look of a sister, a look of devotion and protection. The same devotion
and protection that would one day kill her.
None of them knew yet what would happen to
Dawn. He was sure whatever it was had already started, but for right
now, Dawn was staying here, with him. No one knew how much longer
she'd be able to stay in this house, or who would be her legal guardian
now that Buffy had died, any of that rubbish. Spike could say he
felt sorry for the girl. First losing her mom so suddenly just a
few months before, then having to watch Buffy die like that. Dawn
had to see her sister sacrifice herself to save her, not to mention the
world, first hand. The emotional toll of that night would weigh heavily
on Dawn for the rest of her life, of that Spike was sure. He could
only hope the girl was strong enough to bear that memory, but something
told him that Dawn was made of stronger stuff than any of them had ever
realized. She had already been through so much in her short life,
and had proved stronger that any of them had counted on, but he knew the
memory of that night would live on in all of them, but Dawn especially.
After an hour, he decided to check on her, to make sure she was resting
comfortable, so he quietly slipped up the stairs, and opened the door of
her room slightly. As soon as he opened the door, light began to
stream out into the darkened hallway.
"You can come in, Spike," he heard from the
other side. Cursing under his breath, he stepped into the room to
find Dawn sitting on her bed, still in her pajamas, holding her knees.
The light on the stand by the bed had been switched on and Dawn had an
almost … lost look on her young face. He stepped in and leaned against
the doorjamb.
"I thought you'd be asleep, nibblet," Spike
intoned, trying to be witty, but being too fatigued and drained to carry
out the full effect. His stance seemed as weak and exhausted as he
felt.
"Can't sleep." Dawn replied simply.
"Maybe I don't want to sleep."
"We've all had a very long, hard night, you
especially. You need to sleep, Dawn." He straightened his posture
as he looked at her, and kept the tone of his voice and his gaze serious.
There was no harshness, no pleading, only the facts.
"Every time I close my eyes … I can
see her. Just standing there, on that tower. I can hear her.
I can still hear her, Spike." By the time she had finished, Dawn's
eyes were already misting up, and she was on the verge of crying.
"I can still hear her, Spike!" Her voice was quivering, and Spike
couldn't stand it. He gave a sad sigh as he crossed the room to her
bed. He sat down on the bed next to her, almost hesitated, pulling
his hand back slightly, but decided against it and put his arm around her.
She leaned in and placed her head gently on his shoulder. It was
an odd feeling at first, for both of them. Spike knew he had no idea
what he was doing, but feeling Dawn's weight against his shoulder was …
almost reassuring. He had made a solemn promise to Buffy to protect
the young girl next to him, and if sitting here with Dawn was how he had
to do it, then so be it.
"I know it's hard. It's hard for all
of us. It's been … well, let's face it. This night has been
Hell, most of all for you. No one should have to see what you seen
tonight, Dawn, but as much as it hurts, we can't go back. We can't
change what that crazy Doc or Glory or Buffy did. I can't change
what I did." Dawn looked up to him.
"You tried to save me, Spike. You tried
to stop it." A pained look crossed his face.
"But I failed. Of all of the bloody
times to … I failed. I failed you and I failed your sister.
If anyone is to blame for tonight, it's me, because I didn't stop that
wanker when I had the chance, and Buffy had to clean up after him."
He looked off at the room's far wall, not wanting to look at her.
She looked up to him, and for the first time, she realized just how vulnerable
the Big Bad really was. The look on his face was one of barely suppressed
hurt, confusion, anger, and sadness. Spike was grieving just as much
as she was. Spike may have been a vampire, but there were times like
this that he was more human than most of the people Dawn knew. He
had more than ample reason to leave, to ignore everything that had happened
long before this night. He had no reason to even be here, but he
was. Not because he had to be, but because he wanted to.
"It wasn't your fault."
"And it wasn't yours, either. She chose
… she chose to do what she did, Dawn. Because she loved you."
His tone was tight, the loss echoing in it, but at the same time it was
soothing, letting her know that she bared no responsibility for what had
happened. She almost believed him.
"I still don't want to sleep." Spike
sighed, then he got an idea on how to soothe Dawn.
"How bout I tell you a story?" he asked,
easing his tone. Dawn gave him a pointed look.
"What, about how you really killed that little
girl?" Spike gave a short laugh.
"No. More like … a fairy story."
Dawn was too tired to refuse him.
"Okay." She snuggled closer to him
as he began.
"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful,
blonde princess named Elizabeth. Now Elizabeth was the strongest,
most courageous princess her people had seen in many generations, and she
loved her people. As princess, Elizabeth's duty was to protect her
people and keep them from harm. Of course, Elizabeth had many friends,
who she loved, and a very wise mother, the Queen, who advised her daughter
well, but above all, Elizabeth loved her sister. The princesses were
inseparable, and Elizabeth would have done anything to protect her sister."
Dawn sighed softly and shifted slightly against him as he went on.
"Well, our brave princess was well loved by her people, and by all she
knew. They would tell tales of how she would fight off any dark warrior
that dared to enter her kingdom, how she always came to their rescue at
the nick of time, and how she never failed to protect them, especially
her sister. Several princes tried to win her hand, some came close,
but Elizabeth's heart was as elusive as her beauty. She was very
devoted to her people, and her sister. She did everything to make
sure her sister was happy and protected, and they both lived happily ever
after." He looked down to see Dawn fast asleep. He gave her
hair a gentle stroke, and she snuggled closer to him. He looked over
to the bedside table to see a recent picture of Dawn and Buffy. Looking
at the blonde Slayer, he quietly whispered, "I keep my promises."
If you have any comments or questions,
email me at jaderozegirl@yahoo.com
