Author's Note: This is my second Destiel fic and since I've gotten so many compliments on the first, I thought about making another one. I toyed with this idea for some time now but it wasn't until recently did I finally force myself to sit down and write it all down for everyone to see. Hopefully, my efforts didn't go to waste. But anyway, onward to reading this SPN fic while trying to deal with the withdraws of new episodes because of this forever-like hiatus like the obsessive fans we know we all are (though I wouldn't use such an ugly word like "obsessive." It's more like...heavily devoted)!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters for they belong to Eric Kripke and their other respectable owners. The only thing I'm taking credit for is writing this story.
Castiel James Shurley's only goal in life is to remain completely invisible to the rest of the world. Sure, most boys his age do just about anything to attract attention, but Castiel isn't a fool. He knows that when you get noticed, then you become known to everyone, and when you become known to everyone, you ultimately become targeted by someone who will be willing to do just about anything to take you down. He's seen it happen countless of times in his fantasy novels and it always begins when the hero had just gotten acknowledged by the rest of the world. But unlike Castiel, the hero actually wants the attention; craves it even. But the hero's popularity with most people always make him an enemy and threat to others, and that's usually where all the trouble begins.
No, Castiel is perfectly alright with hiding away in the shadows; actually, he prefers it that way. Because when he does get noticed, he always ends up panicking and messing everything up. Castiel doesn't operate well under pressure or any type of recognition whatsoever. Though he doesn't see the point in socializing either, which is quite possibly why he doesn't have any peers to call anything but a dreaded acquaintance and has remained alone for the whole seventeen years of his existence. But that doesn't bother him as much as he knows it should. Some might say that he's lonely and desperate for a friend, but Castiel doesn't see it that way. He thinks of it as a gain because without friends, you won't have to risk the chance of getting burned by the ones you once held dear to your heart.
He learned that lesson early in life when his mother went and abandoned him and her whole family the day Castiel turned six. She used to be the apple of Castiel's eye since she was only person that didn't treat him like he was nothing but a pest and had actually appeared like she honestly enjoyed his company. She wasn't like his two brothers, Michael and Lucifer, who locked him in closets for hours and ripped his loaned library books apart and made it their goal to point out that his very existence didn't even matter. She wasn't like Castiel's father that didn't even come home days on end and who acted like it was such a chore to spend time with his actual family than working eighteen hours a day. His mother wasn't like his classmates that whispered loudly about him every time he walked by and who constantly pushed him into muddy puddles every time he approached them hoping to make friends like his mother always instructed him to do.
He thought his mother loved him, but Castiel was proven wrong when he woke up the morning of his birthday only to find a sealed envelope resting on top of his night stand. He was delighted to see that it was from his mother and opened it up gleefully, only to find a birthday card that had his favorite constellation on it while the title read in big letters "Have A Party That's Out Of This World." It wasn't until he read the long drawn out letter his mother had wrote on the inside of the card that carefully explained that she couldn't stand in there anymore and how she had left and was never coming back and how much it hurt her to leave him behind did he realize that today wasn't the time to be merry.
Castiel didn't believe it at first. Of course, like any other kid that just lost a parent and the only friend he's ever truly had, he was in full-fledged denial. It wasn't until the twentieth day of her disappearance when he showed the card to his father did Castiel fully grasp the horrible reality that his mother was never coming back. Castiel was hoping that his father would read it and then devote everything he had to find her and apologize and just beg her to come home, but all thoughts of that were banished from Castiel's mind when his father tore the card to shreds and threw it into the wastebasket.
His father spent even less time at home after that; if that was even possible, that is. Castiel doesn't know why, but he always had the feeling that his father resented him after that day. He could practically feel the loathing hatred every time he gazed at him. He supposes that he didn't like how Castiel's mother seemed to love her youngest child more than she even loved her own husband.
From then on, Castiel didn't celebrate his birthdays; seriously, why should he rejoice the day his mother abandoned him and left him feeling absolutely detached from the rest of the world? It's pointless really. All it does is make him sad—come to think of it, it's the one day of the year that made Castiel actually felt any sort of emotion coursing through his numb veins and into his cold, closed off heart.
And that's how he spent the rest of his life up until the Winchester moved into town and Dean Winchester tore down his many walls and became the first one in a long time to actually have a full grasp on Castiel's heart…before he threw it on the ground and stomped on it, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.
But Castiel was getting ahead of himself. Let's start at the beginning when he had first laid eyes on the green eyed hunter-in-training who was taught that love was a forbidden luxury that only normal people had.
Though that was what Castiel was not: normal. But he'll get to that later.
Author's Note: So this is more like a preface really just to give you a little background information on Castiel and a bit of foreshadowing (because you know everyone loves that) of the future to draw you in. Did it work? Are you hooked? If so, please give me some feedback for this so I know if you enjoy it so far or not. Next update is going to be when the two finally meet and I'll hopefully get it posted in less than a week or two (but please don't hold me to that. I'm a dreadful procrastinator when I choose to be).
But seriously, reviews are greatly appreciated. Every letter you type sends me over the moon with happiness.