I do not own Bleach.
Hitsugaya knew he shouldn't have eaten that questionable "thing" Renji and Ichigo told him to, but as always, the man had an ego much larger than his short stature. Now he had to rush to the toilet at the brink of morning to dispose of green goodness from his mouth.
"Shiro-chan?" he heard the voice of his significant other as he gagged over the bowl.
"Hinamori..." he replied weakly, "could you make porridge for breakfast today?"
"But you don't like porridge," she said. Looking into the restroom, the lieutenant let out a huge gasp. "Throwing up in the morning and having unusual cravings, Shiro-chan, ARE YOU PREGNANT?"
"WHAT?"
"We haven't even slept together; are you cheating on me?"
The captain scowled. "With your serious face, I can't even tell if you are joking or not."
"It's alright. I'll take care of him or her like my own no matter what," Hinamori smiled softly, placing her ear on his belly.
"Yah! Are you even listening to me?" he bellowed.
Hinamori's head popped up. "Oh, that's right! I must make your porridge!" She stood and headed toward the kitchen, all the while mumbling something about being a mother.
Hitsugaya was soon too distracted by another round of bile to care anymore. When he finished again, he heard a peal of laughter from the kitchen. He leaned against the restroom wall with his forehead in his hand. At least he knew he would be fine soon if the girl's making a grand joke out of it.