Our hearts beat for each other:

Chapter 1:

Your tears are my tears.

Mikasa stared at the stars. They were beautiful. They sparkled in the night, and they reminded Mikasa of happier times.

She pressed her scarf to her face, inhaling the scent.

"Eren..."

It was him, the only person she ever wanted. And yet she always did something wrong, something to make his life difficult.

A tear traced it's way down her cheek.

Why did it have to be like this? They were so close to each other, yet so far.

She could understand why he always got annoyed. He didn't want her to protect him. He wanted to be the strong one, the one everyone depended on.

Sometimes, Mikasa just didn't get it. What was wrong with being the person who reached out for help? Why did Eren hate it so much.

Mikasa never wanted to be so strong, to be so good at everything. She wanted to be the defenseless person. She wanted to be the frail, weak girl who could fall into his arms.

But her desires were unimportant.

'This is a cruel, world...'

She stood up and stared at her hands.

'Cruel and beautiful...'

She balled them into fists. There was no time for her to cry. Maybe Eren would hate her forever. Maybe Mikasa would never get a chance to tell him the truth- the truth she hid in the deepest recesses of her mind.

But she would protect him. Even if it killed her. Even if it broke her heart.

Because if there was one thing stronger than Mikasa's love for Eren, it was her desire to make sure he didn't die.

She took a step forward, but collapsed once again. Her resolve was simply too weak this time.

She buried her face in her arms and wept. Cried so badly her chest hurt.

Here, away from prying eyes, she could finally break down. Let her emotions loose.

She had fooled everyone. Even Eren. Physically, Mikasa may have been the strongest of the lot. But there was only so much her mind could take.

"I wish I hadn't saved you that day!"

His words still stung her. And the worst part about them was that they were true. Eren would have been better off leaving her the way she was. When had she done anything to make him happy?

Eren's greatest enemies were the Titans. The ones who had destroyed his life.

Mikasa had only one enemy. One she loathed with every fiber of her being. Hated with an intensity as strong as Eren's. Herself.

She found herself revolting. There was no place in the world for a person like her. A person who could do nothing right.

Frustrated, she walked up to a tree.

'I should be dead.'

She smashed her fist, hard against the rough,wooden surface.

Again and again.

'I don't deserve to live.'

Her knuckles were bruised and her hands had started to bleed.

The next second, someone had pulled her away.

She looked into his eyes. And she was disappointed.

It was Jean.

She sniffed and hastily wiped her tears.

"You're.. crying." He whispered. "You're hurting yourself."

Mikasa finally regained control.

"It's nothing." She replied, adopting her stoic mask once again.

"Bullshit!"

Jean had knelt down so he was facing her. His expression contorted and he balled his hands into fists.

"I heard what that bastard said. He's... He's fucking insane. And it's completely his fault. You don't need to punish yourself. "

Mikasa blinked. She never really understood why Jean tried to be so kind. He didn't have any obligation towards her.

Jean was shaking. Barely suppressing his rage.

"I'll break that asshole's neck one of these days!"

And suddenly, Mikasa pounced on him.

Jean found himself lying on the floor, with Mikasa on the top, her fist raised as if she was going to strike him.

"Don't even think about it." She growled.

Jean stared at her, a sad smile on his face. Her dark, mesmerizing eyes, prominent cheek-bones, her cherry-red lips- they all made his heart beat faster.. Despite the dangerous look on her face, she looked so beautiful. So pure. Like an angel from the heavens.

"I understand if you want to hit me." He choked. "But that guy deserves it. He doesn't understand how lucky he is to have someone like you to protect him."

He brought a hand up and ran it threw her dark, smooth hair. But she pulled away, repulsed by his attitude.

"Do you think I'm worried about you?" She hissed at him. "Don't you realize that I wouldn't even bat an eyebrow if you died, as long as Eren was safe? That I don't care about you?"

Jean grimaced, and Mikasa knew her words had hurt him.

It wasn't true. Mikasa cared a lot for Eren, but that didn't mean that she didn't worry about her other team-mates.

Still, she was hoping that if she said something harsh to Jean, maybe he would stop liking her. Because she knew that all of his endeavors were pointless. No matter what happened, there was no way she would chose him over Eren.

Jean bowed his head down, his hair drooping over his eyes.

"I know." He whispered. "But I can't stop myself. I.. I adore you Mikasa. I don't want to see you cry."

And Mikasa felt her eyes growing hot again. She was trembling. She didn't understand him at all.

"Why don't you just leave me alone!" She cried out. "Do you enjoy expressing your feelings to someone when you know that they'll never give them back to you?"

Jean's breathing was heavier now.

"No." He replied. "It hurts. Really bad. But you're the same as me, Mikasa. We both care about people who'll never understand us."

"Eren saved my life-"

"AND SO DID I! Captain Levi, Me, the rest of the squad... We're all willing to risk our lives for you. And you don't understand how much everyone worries about you because you're so fucking into him!"

Mikasa was silent. She refused to meet his eyes.

"Leave me alone." She told him coldly. "You're not going to change my mind."

Jean turned and raced off into the distance, leaving Mikasa in the forest.

Jean's nails dug deep into his palms.

"Do you enjoy expressing your feelings to someone when you know that they'll never give them back to you?"

He wiped his face on his sleeve. He couldn't break down now. He was stronger than this. He was better than this.

He should just forget Mikasa. Give up on her. Live his own life.

But it was too much for him. He couldn't bear to see her cry. When she was hurt, he was hurt.

He gritted his teeth. It didn't matter if she didn't care about him.

He'd always do his best to make sure she was happy.

Even if he had to rely on someone he absolutely resented.

Eren grabbed his hair in frustration. He had always known that he was a loose cannon. But this time, he'd overdone it.

"I wish I hadn't saved you that day!"

He ground his teeth together. He was stupid! How in the world had he expected her to understand him when he had said it that way.

Of course Eren would have saved her if he had to do it again! He had meant to say something else.

But now, she was gone. She had dashed into the woods and Jean had taken off after her.

Eren cursed himself. After all the times she had protected him, this was how he payed her back. By being harsh to her. Again and again.

He stood up, his food lying unfinished on the table. He couldn't possibly eat. Not after he had said all that.

How had it started?

The reason was so trivial, he couldn't even remember it. But it had turned into an argument. In the end, Eren had grown so furious that he had forgotten who he was. And done something horrible. Said something he never should have said.

He wondered if Mikasa would ever forgive him.

Something would always pop up between them from time to time. And mostly, it would be Eren's fault. Because he lost control over himself whenever he thought about it. How Mikasa was better than him in everything. How she was being pulled down by him because he was a loser.

Eren would only realize that he'd said something wrong when it was too late. And it would be useless then. His pride wouldn't allow him to stoop to that level, wouldn't allow him to apologize to her.

He shook his head. She would be alright. She was one of the best soldier in the survey corps after all. She had nerves of steel. She'd be back to normal, next thing in the morning.

While he was thinking about all this, something hard collided with the side of his head, knocking him back.

Eren crashed hard into the ground. He clutched his temples and groaned. He looked up to see a livid Jean in front of him, shaking so badly that it was difficult for him to stand, his ash-brown hair drooping over his eyes. He looked demented.

"You fucking bastard..." He growled.

He pounced on Eren and they rolled around, struggling with each other.

"What the hell is wrong with you, horse-face!" Eren yelled at him.

Jean didn't reply. He continued to struggle against Eren, despite the fact that he was clearly in the disadvantageous position.

Eren tried to subdue him, bringing an arm around 's neck and restraining him from behind.

Jean fought back violently, but there was nothing he could do. He slowed down as Eren tightened his hold on him.

And then they broke apart. Eren scrambled away from him. He was panting heavily.

"What in the world is your problem, Kirstein!" He hissed.

Jean snarled at him. "Yeager" He growled. "You're the most selfish person I've ever known."

Eren felt anger boiling in his stomach.

"Wh-What are you talking about?"

Jean scoffed. "To think.. that an undeserving bastard like you would get all the luck in the world."

Eren showed no signs of comprehension. What was he talking about?

"Having the best person possible in your life. And you're still not happy."

Eren frowned.

"Jean.. who are you-"

"Shut up, Bastard! Don't act like you don't know her. She's been running after you your whole life, hasn't she?"

It was as if someone had struck a match in the darkness.

Eren snarled at him. "This is between me and her. You stay out of it."

Jean walked up to him.

"And then? You'll scream at her again? Make her feel like the world doesn't need her?"

Eren balled his fists. Jean was making him angry, and yet there was a small voice inside his head which was making him doubt himself.

"Do you know what she was doing in the woods?" Jean whispered. "She was punishing herself. Even though you were the one who made the mistake.

Eren felt bile rise in his throat. "Punishing herself?"

"Yes. Physically hurting herself. And she was crying her eyes out."

Eren's arms were trembling. Mikasa was crying...

"But She- She's so... strong."

Jean spat on the ground. "She just acts like that Yeager. You're too dense to see it. She's a girl after all. Not some sort of animal. But I don't think you would be bothered. You treat her like she is one anyway."

Eren's whole body became rigid.

"Shut up."

"You can keep blaming her for every problem you face. I'm sure she'll accept anyway. She doesn't want her little brother to be hurt."

Eren was shaking now. He stared at the ground. It couldn't be true, could it? He wasn't that cruel was he?

"Shut up, Jean."

His vision blurred. It was as if his surroundings had changed completely. The whole world was shaking. And the one he was facing wasn't Jean himself, but his own inner demons.

"Just do her a favour and ask her to kill herself. She'd probably do it without hesitating. Oh wait, you tried to kill her already!"

Eren's face contorted. He dropped to the ground.

"After all, You've never bothered about her, have you. Her dreams, her happiness- they're non-existent to you aren't they? All you care about is yourself. Your own selfish ambitions."

Eren scrambled away from him.

"No..." He whispered. "Please..."

The demon walked closer to him. "Those two men..."

Eren's heart was thumping rapidly

"..those two men you killed that night..."

He dug his nails into his skin, hoping that the pain would distract him. But it didn't help.

"..those two men... You're no better than them."

Lightening crackled in the sky. Eren's screams were drowned by the wailing of restless spirits. The ground beneath him gave way.

He felt himself falling... falling into an abyss from which he could never return.

And then, he was no longer in hell. He could feel the soft, wet grass below him. Jean was gone.

It had started too rain.

He lay there alone. Immersed in thought.

He had never felt so disappointed in himself. He'd never felt so unworthy of calling himself a human being.

His tears merged with the raindrops and trailed down his face.

'What have I done to her?"

'How can I possibly face her after all this.'

But he had too. He had to tell her how sorry he was. He had to tell her that he needed her, that she was important to him.

He sprinted into the woods.

The trees loomed over him, and the little moonlight which filtered through was barely sufficient to help him see.

Eren was searching for her frantically.

'She couldn't possibly have gone back to her room again. I'm sure I would have spotted her on the way.'

He yelled her name at the top of his lungs. Several times. But to no avail.

He felt defeated.

'This is all my fault. It's my responsibility to set things right.'

He raced past the trees, looking everywhere.

And then he slipped on a root, launching him a few meters ahead. He slammed face-first into the ground.

He dug his hands into the dirt.

'I have to find her.'

And then, the rain slowed down.

Eren got up. His eyes widened.

There, in a patch of moonlight, lay Mikasa. Her hair snaking across her face in thin strands. Her eyes closed. Her lips partially open.

Eren slowly walked up to her.

'Mikasa...'

He knelt down and stared at her face. Her chest was heaving rhythmically and Eren could hear the soft sighs which escaped from her mouth every once and a while.

There they were. Two people, together in absolute silence- Their hearts reaching out to each other.

Eren felt relieved. She wasn't hurt. Just seriously exhausted.

He held her hands in his. And stared at her.

He felt something wet and sticky.

He turned her hands around. The knuckles on one of her fist were bloody.

'She was punishing herself. Even though you were the one who made the mistake.'

Eren grimaced.

"Why?.. "

He was shaking now. Shaking with suppressed emotions.

"Mikasa... why do I always end up hurting you in the end.?

Mikasa didn't respond. She was unconscious after all.

Eren took off his jacket and draped it over her, trying to shield her from the rain and the cold.

He sighed and picked her up.

Her arms and legs dangled lifelessly as he held her- one arm under her back and another one supporting her thighs.

She was heavy. But not as heavy as he would have expected her to be.

He felt relieved that he could, at least, carry her. Just like when they were small.

'Now, now Eren.. don't feel to happy.' He chided himself. This was probably the last time he would get to do something like this. Mikasa probably wouldn't let him touch her after all that crap he'd said.

'Then again. She's not a sick bastard like I am.'

He felt so helpless.

'I dragged her into this whole mess. It's because of me that she's now stuck with the survey corps.'

He shook his head violently, pushing all stray thoughts out of his head.

"Come on, Mikasa... let's take you to your room."

He turned around and walked away into the distance.

End of the first part. So... how was it? This is my first time writing something in this sort of genre so I'd really be happy if someone could give me tips on improving my writing style.

I'll probably be posting the next chapter some time next week.