Eric Cartman is No More
Acknowledgements: "South Park" and all characters belong to co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Disclaimer: The following fan fiction contains murder, coarse language and may be illogical at some instances.
Chapter 1 – The Plan
Eric Cartman is a dick, a big fat-ass dick. He always rips on other people and manipulate them to do everything under his control. He is a psychotic asshole who always pissed me off. All I want to do is to get rid of him, so that I can live a normal live in South Park, without an asshole. After his mother died of AIDS – probably caught it from f***ing someone – Cartman has always been lonely in his home. After school he would invite Stan, Kyle and I over to visit him, so as to have some fun ripping on us. I have always thought of killing him, but I always chicken out. But now, I have hatched a genius plan to get rid of Cartman once and for all.
It was summer break and we were all finally done with school. I always disliked the lessons taught by Mr. Garrison, he would keep on yapping about some history of something... Urgh. After the final bell rang the four of us charged out of the school and back home. It had been a long wait but we were finally free from school. It was summer break and we had nothing to do.
We have already proved that playing with a stick instead of Xbox was boring as s***. It was fun until I betrayed them, and some new kid farted on my balls. That really hurt. Man the times we had where we have done everything, but now we had a long vacation but nothing to do. We all had previously decided to go to the water park outside of town and try out the new water slide, but apparently the park was still closed due to the pee incident. Now I'm just reminiscing the past, cause there ain't nothing else to do...
I called Cartman, asking whether he needed my company, he said that it would be great. That was the start of operation Goodbye Eric Cartman. I had to meet him at his house at 5:00pm. That left me a lot of time to plan out the operation. First, I would lure him into his room and go to his kitchen to prepare his final meal, then I will feed it to him. After he consumes it, he will die in agony and I will hide his body in his unused locked garage. Perfect.
To be continued in Chapter 2 - The Act...
2015 - Sys121525